Coming Back to the Game

A friend had decided and repeatedly announced that he'll be abandoning Clipperseep.blogspot. Apparantely he still feel betrayed that I make peace with used-to-be-Miz-Anoi that easy. He said I melted down so fast after all the nasty things occured between me and her just because of one nice email.

As frustrated as I felt about him, I have to respect that everybody is entitled to his/her own opinion. I leave it all to him. He will admit one day that he and I were close not because we share the same experience of being hurt and stabbed by the same people, but because we were there for each other. Hugs were given whenever we needed, we cried together when one of us is hurt and we cooled each other down. Of course, our friendship is more meaningful than just a session sharing the bitterness felt towards one person.

So, I was screaming and so negative yesterday. Mindworks said that everytime you feel that there is no hope for you, that is the time where you start 'asking' (praying) harder. You may start by listing down all the blessings granted to you. It'll calm you down and 'force' your right brain to clear up all the negativities. So here it is:

1. I got two nice tops at Cat Whiskers (the boutique where AmyMastura shops, which explain why all the sizes were mainly M and S. Idiot! Idiot! What do they think of Malaysian women? Famine instead of feminine? Idiot! Ops.. negative thoughts! Yellow card myself!!)

2. The Man insisted of spending time with the Boy after knowing that the Boy was cranky the night before. I love him more each time he shows effort that time is the best remedy of 'lack of love disease' (penyakit kekurangan kasih sayang).

3. The Man constantly giving clues that he is thinking about the anniversary which is a few more days away.

4. The Sister agreed to look after the Boy and I got time to do the laundry and cleaning up the kitchen.

5. The Man and I enjoyed myself for the furniture browsing. We will get some good deals. I found myself the dressing table which I love and it is so cool! We are talking about sliding mirror with hidden compartment. Cool!

6. I found the dark purple curtain finally that will suit the sheer I bought at Macy for the Master Bedroom. Found it at Tewah the Mines and a lot cheaper than Macy's. Fabric is nicer, and unlike Macy, they have stock!

7. There were rumors about the Bonus for this year and believe it or not, I'll get three months!! Yeahoo! Eventhough the share price is dropping but the bonus definitely will help calming myself down.

With the list, I thank God for the opportunities.
Therefore this is the list of things I want to achieve for these coming few days. I play here the EndResultVideo.

1. By this Friday, 15th, (which is tomorrow!) the Contractor will finish up doing the kitchen cabinet and the three wardrobes. The workers have recovered and the woods are dry by now. The wood color is nice and cool. We'll be moving in by Sunday, with the movers and lorry available.

2. BGL will agree to my comment which will be sent by end of this week. The Debit Note will be raised and they'll pay us by end of December.

I program my right brain that these are achievable and I will let the Universe work things out.

Ciao!

Ooops!

It took so long to post. I pasted my best.

Later will come.

CupidWorks

These are some shots I took during a wedding at Ipoh.

I am proudly announcing that this couple met because of me!

See ? There are other reasons God sent me to Earth other than having that fantasy doing it with the Man dressed in Santa Clause in the Elevator of Parkson Grand Subang Jaya. (how come nobody ever request the details of it? helllllo people!!!)

So, It's Been 30 Days..

When I went to Mindworks course 30 days later, they asked me to set two targets and they guarantee (money back) that it will be achieved. Today is the end of the 30 days.

My targets were:
1. To settle the outstanding disputes with three evendors (back from 03 cases) and finally get paid by 13 Dec (today)
2. To lose 5 kgs (from 55 to 50)

Lemme see whether these are achieved
1. Yes, disputes with two vendors have been settled, but money was not in as per yesterday. One vendor has been stubborn, staff taking leaves and such, and I just got their comment back last Thursday, which I was so busy to look at.
2. I still weigh 55kg!

Look what have I done to achieve those two targets:
1. I've chased like a mad woman, sending emails, warning via fax, I even suggested them to come down from Australia and sit with me but 'their company policy' prevents that.
2. None. I cut rice but piled up whenever at in law's or when Mak coming over. Not a single work-out.

But that is besides the points. Mindworks say the 'do' does not matter, what matters is each morning I sit down to do 'My Daily Programming' which is a sort of meditation cum prayers, then each night I do 'My Daily Cleansing' which is a sort of meditation cum relaxing. Lemme see whether I have done these two rigiously.

1. Daily Programming: I did this religiously after coming to the office. I found quite place to do and follow the instruction exactly. I was a bit sloppy during weekends.
2. Daily Cleansing: None. In 30 days, I might have done around 8 or 9 times. It's hard, u know, to find time to do with the boy around.

If I ever go to Mindworks today and ask for the money back, they'll shoot me down. Aghhh!!! The whole ideas are making me wanting to curse like mad!!

So, in Mindworks too, we learnt that there are times that you won't believe it works and you do this yellow card to your own brain. I know this is the moment where the yellow card is supposed to be flashed to my brain but let me be a victim for a while.

The boy has been cranky yesterday. He cried, refused to let me even take a shower.
The sister who stays with me didn't help much either.
The Man was galavantingly having his own bowling night.
The contractor, despite the large sum of deposits we paid, had not done up the kitchen cabinet. So the 'end result' of me going to work from Bangi by 13 Dec washed down the drain.
The house is in the mess, with boxes around.
The Man and I constantly have arguments about the new house: when to move, whether to clean up the floor before or after the contractor doing work, whether it is safe to let the curtain while contractor doing their job (takut lah contractor curi curtain yang senget tu).
My fridge door (yang sebelah ice tu) was giving way.
It is raining almost every day and all the clothings didn't get dry up.
The friend who move to the HQ is behaving so childish-like. Thrown things back to my face, and refused to understand/listen to our problem righ there.
The Man forgot to place my mobile and wallet into my bag today, despite the few minutes I've asked him to temporarily placed them in their wallets.
I didn't get to blog last weekends. The Man was so busy helping the brothers around.

The whole world is against me!

There you go.
Yellow card later.

For now, I have a staff meetinga t 8:15 and let's just kick and scream to some asses.

Beta!

Yeahoo!!

Thanks to beta, now I can blog again from work.

The ever-so-clever IT department has blocked http://blogger.com, I can't edit nor paste anything from the website.

But since changing to Beta, now the web has been changed to http://beta.blogger.com/ and I can blog, again!

With this I thank GOD for the opportunity.

I am Mad

Can someone just respect my space?

Or at least have the courtesy to say sorry for not being able to afford respecting my space.

Seriously

Seriously, I need my own PC, my own internet connection, my own space!

An Itch and Blogging

God! I had so much things to write... now the mind is all filled with anger and frustration. All ideas are gone, it irked me! The feeling that there are so much more to let go yet there are so much limited time / feeling are fucking irritating!

I just need to blog whenever I wanted.

Couldn't it be entertained?

It's just like the itch that can never be scratched! The feeling stays here , and it is just to bothersome.

Do Not

Do not deter me from posting whenever I have the flows of ideas, because
1. the baby will wake up and need the attention
2. the ideas will stop flowing.
3. the mood'll be gone.

Do NOT!

Second Chance Seconded!

Wow!

I've never received so many reply on any of my postings before.

 

Guess you guys were thrilled and somehow shocked to see that she (previously called MizAnoi) read my post and reacted nicely and humbly to it.

 

You weren't even thrilled to know about my fantasy of doing it with The Man dressed as Santa Claus at the elevator of Subang Parade / Midvalley Megamall. *chuckled*

 

Anyway, a few replies received telling me that you guys were shocked.

 

A few replied giggling that I am finally kantoi! 

 

Quite a few of you were pissed with the fact that I 'bent' so easily.  That her finding the blog had 'server her right'. One almost knocked me out of my car saying that he'll abandon my blog from now on, since that I've bent down so 'much' to her. He said that she has done him the same, and whenever he read my blog, he felt some sort of satisfaction that someone actually know what he is going through.

 

As glad as I feel that there are actually loyal readers of my blog, who understand what I wrote, who believe that what I wrote is true (plus the Santa Claus fantasy), I believe on the second chance.

 

I know I have been mad. I know I have cursed like mad. I know things were not going smooth between me and her.

 

But you guys should take a look at the way she behaves now. She is more composed, more matured.  She is still the same old her, bubbly, talks a lot, jumps in the conversation every now and then, loves talking out loud. But she uses words like sorry every time she jumps in the conversation, she smiles every morning instead of walking through like you are a ghost, and I notice, in a big meeting room, she tried her best not to be seated next to MD. You see, she put effort to become likeable. Doesn't that need a reward? So c'mon, people, reward her for her effort, reward her for being so humble, and reward her, please, with a second chance.

 

I thought that through and figured out that there are lots of factors contributing to it. One, things have calmed down at home. Second, she is now reporting to SBH and SBH is someone whom I respect so much, I look up dearly. SBH is such a big influence to me. He moulded me to become more patient.

 

The other day when we walked into Fitness First, the lady just refused we in just because we didn' have any appointment (despite the calls I made earlier). I could feel the blood boiling and rising up past my ear, when I heard SBH's voice telling me  , "Everytime you lose your temper, you lose your power of negotiation". I remembered the look at his face when he said that, and automatically, I could feel my tense loosened up, and manja-manja, I bent down on the counter, "But adik, can you just please hellppp meeeee...?". It worked. Ena was granted a month free of membership because of that. Should I just shout back at the lady, telling her to fuck the rules of because I called twice that morning, wouldn't think Ena would be granted that free membership.

 

You see, SBH is such a great influence. The way he carried his work, his commitment,  the way he handled people make you wanna be just like him. And that is what ex-MizAnoi turning to.

 

Rohana once told me that she found out that it is true, that your character, your style of working is very much influenced by your boss.

 

I'm glad I have a great character influencing me. And her. (And remember that if you are a BOSS! Yes, BOS, I'm talking about you).

 

Yes, too, I will not call her JazzyJazz or SmirkyFace for now. I guess you readers (after a few replies I received) are not ready to reconcile with her, yet. (Oh what have I done!).  I respect your oppinion and your feeling, and yes, you do have the right on the character-naming in my blog!

 

Second chance, anyone? I seconded!

 

P/s: Isn't anyone interested with the Santa Claus in the Elevator thingy?!!

 

When You Thought Nobody Reads...

I blogged freely. Yeah.. not so freely, there are fantasies about doing it with a husband dressed as santa clause in the Elevator of Parkson or Jusco were never written.
But, I do blogged freely.
All the frustrations, angers were released , that was why I created the Blog in the first place. And I used a webname, The Man also got a webname, the Child however not.

I cursed like mad when I blog.

It occured to my mind many times, how about if someone that I cursed read my blog? What would he/she feel if he/she knows that I was mad at them? Would they be much mad? Would they be suing me? But I blogged anyway

Till yesterday, I received an email from MizAnoi titled, "I am sorry." It started with , "I read your blogsite. I realized that I am MizAnoi".

My heart dropped. The first thing I imagine was, how would she be feeling when she reads all those.

She was so humble. She apologized, and explained certain things. She never knew that certain things she did was hurting me.

I was stunned.

Then I realized that for the past few months, she had never irritated me. She smiled everytime we bumped into each other. The past sometimes resurfaced, but I can't afford to be mad at her because she was nice to me.

I realized that she has changed. Or perhaps I have changed. Or perhaps the MindWorks!

I went to see her afterwork and gave her hug, I deeply had hurt her and I can't help but feeling bad. But she said, it is not a coincidence that I wrote that, that she bumped into my blog, or else she never knew what she did wrong. She explained things happened at home.

We both agreed that we hurt each other that bad because we were close to each other before.

I had admitted that she's brilliant in what she's doing now.(heey puji your enemy was hard).

She happily agreed that she won't buat buat masam to us everytime she was mad and buat us sakit hati.

We both agreed that we can't patch things up and go back to where we started, but the friendship remains.

You see, sometimes, someone you thought is the enemy of your life, suddenly apologizing to you, you somehow have forgotten why were you mad at them in the first place.

She is no longer my MizAnoi. I am yet to find a name. I used to call her JazzyJazz before. Then I chucked that ou. Now, perhaps, SmirkyFace? Cause I think she smirks sweetly.

I just feel so much better. Feel that my sleep is much calmer. Feel that the office smells sweeter.

MindWorks

So Puru and I went to this course called MindWorks for two full days. It's very result oriented, I would say. But all I felt that it was good to be out from the office once a while.

The course was supposed to enhance the ability of our right brain, which is all about creativity instead of logics. So we were given music to dance, color pencils to draw and all sort of things that are fun!

I drew two goals at the end of the course, to be accomplished within 30 days.

1. To clear up the challenging account, to collect all monies and account them properly.
2. To lose 5 kg.

See whether my MindWorks!

Drumstick

Baie and I were texting each other when he was inside defending.

BAIE: I c kaki ayam belanda!
Me: Surely yummy. KFC? Nando's? Kenny Rogers?
BAIE: Very big drumstick. Criss cross like nobody business. Sick!
Me: Entertainment for all the loyar-loyar.
BAIE: Loyar loyar loya....
Me: Aik? Ayam dara pun loya?
BAIE: Not sure about dara, but tua!

Moral of the story:
1. Always sit properly and sopan santun like the old folks are babbling. Especially when you are wearing kain belah.
2. Should you feel like exposing your 'drumstick', make sure it is free of cellulite!

This is a shame to women and fashion.

Sorry ngumpat!

Maaf Zahir Batin

So what does it mean anyway?
People throw away this sentence-of-the-moment when Eid-il-Fitri came closer. But do people really think what it means to them, to those who they apologizing? I have one human being throwing away the ‘Maaf Zahir Batin’ in all the emails she shot out to every ones in the group, including me, but I know deep down that she hates me like mad. So why bother apologizing?

People have synchronized Maaf Zahir Batin with the greetings Selamat Hari Raya (Maaf Zahir Batin is best translated to :Apology from Me, for all the wrong doings I do physically –like biting, punching, kicking- or softly –like hurting one’s heart, say bad things about him/her in front of others- There, hope I had already put that on words correctly). People, even had taken advantage in the event of Hari Raya, to do wrongdoings now and apologize later during Hari Raya. Is that why God created Hari Raya? An opportunity to come even with all the people who you have come across in your life, dearest or not? I doubt so.

For me, Hari Raya is an event where I finally get to see all people whom I love, all people whom had done so much for me and touch their hands or hug them. An event where I am thankful to God for giving me another year of life to see these people once more. And will I be there again next year for them? Then the maaf zahir batin makes sense. I look at their faces and tried to remember if I have hurt them, and whether they’ll forgive me when I die. But it was all faces of love, faces of people who will forgive me who will love me no matter what. I apologized anyway. There are also faces who have hurt the family, have hurt my heart, whose heart I certainly have hurt while thinking I was right, I apologized anyway. It’s meaningless, isn’t it, extending apology and forgiveness when you don’t actually want to look at their faces. It’s meaningless, since I myself have not forgiven me for hurting them, for not forgiving them.

But last year, the Man had taught me the meaning of Hari Raya. He kneeled infront of his only grandma, wishing her selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin, but he added in things that made the old folk cried, he told her how much he loved her in Bahasa (believe me, expressing in Bahasa is much harder than in English) , “Kami semua sayaang Tuk”. The four words, I felt, was more meaningful than the commonly used Maaf Zahir Batin.

I also have seen distant cousins who don’t speak to each other hugging, or relatives who hadn’t come back for a while, and kneeling in front of their elderlies, just kneeling, crying and sobbing without anywords spoken, brushed it off with a big hug and kisses on both cheeks. No Maaf Zahir Batin was spoken, yet I felt it was more meaningful than Maaf Zahir Batin.

People are right. Most of the times, actions are louder than the words. And Hari Raya is one of the big times.

Selamat Hari Raya!

Stiff Neck

I slept after Sahur for half hour and was frozen to the bed. My shoulder blades ached like mad while I was trying to turn around in order to get up. I screamed for The Man’s attention and he, attentuively, reached out to massage my back. It hurt much.

I asked him to pull me up, he then did so. I remotely walking to the bathroom and get ready to work. Before going out, I told The Man that he needs to send the kiddo to the day-care, he fumbles like he was angry that his sleep was disturbed!

I was furious.

I was in much pain and he ignored me totally!

I drove to work today feeling heavy at heart. He must not loved me this morning. He must no loved me when I am in pain.

(It’s the period kicking!)

Ethics of Blogging

Just spent ten minutes going through the Blogs since 2005 postings and deleted all the company's name replacing it with the ORG. I also took opportunity to abbreviate some people's name.

With the stupid Org's Head, I should be careful of writing any posts. News said that he has been punishing people with minor little discplinary actions and most all of them were sacked.

Hmpfh... talking about sacked, he is the one who has to be sacked!

Coincidence eh?

I buzzed through Pasar Ramadan almost everyday with The Man.

The first one we went was near home, Bandar Sunway's masjid. Two days in a row I saw a mother (Indian Moslem probably) with a 3 or 4 years old kid sleeping on her lap begging for money at the middle of the Pasar. Both days, the little boy was sleeping.

Then this week we went to the one near Subang Jaya (which has really nice terubuk bakar). I saw two mothers, seated separately from each other, both had about the same age of kid on their laps, begging.

Think that is a mere coincidence huh? Wait till your read this.

Yesterday, I went to Pasar Malam Sect 14 PJ, and found one mother (Indian Moslem) with a boy about 3 or 4 years old sleeping on her lap, begging!

All the four mothers were wearing tudung.
All the four kids were sleeping all the time.
All were begging around the same time.

You work the math. Then you tel me whether kids (boys especially) at the age of 3 or 4 prefer to sleep on their mother's lap at around 5:00 - 7:00 or running at playground?

Of course, each mothers dressed differently so did the boys.

My theory was the kids were drugged to sleep.
Arris theory was they were clones.

Have you found any?

Happy Birthday My Son

Today, AZ turns two!!

Thing is, both The Man and I had forgotten that this weeks contains Oct 4th. We had one celebration at In Law's before Ramadhan and have totally forgotten about it. We both realized it yesterday.*sigh* He is just two and we have been bad parents!

Anyway, I invited The Babysitter and family to our house for an after iftar. We will buy a cake (what a birthday without a cake) and sing together tonight.

Hmm.. two years huh. I kissed his forehead and realized that I have loved this little person for two years. It is the best love of my life.

My Organization, My Org

The head of my org, who was relatively new, screwed up big time.

With the intention to save money, his right man, who was also relatively new, did this re-financing without consulting us, the procuring dept, and manage to let go the foot of one of the partners.

That partner was then started asking higher price from us. Of course we refused!

Then the partner was said to seal the office. No more business.

We then ended up buying a company with no operation, and the liability is on us.

Then the head of my org sent this long email to us, after the org was talked about in parliament.
One part was about all the good things company has done to us, which didn't start with him.
One part was about all the lies and intention of hiding the big screw up he did.

Perhaps he forgot to apologize about his behavior who never lift up his head to our people whenever they marched in to his office.
Perhaps he forgot to apologize about his people who are new to us, and did lots of things without consulting us the old people.
Perhaps he forgot to apologize against his stupidity.

Penning My Thoughts on a Pen

Worldly possession kills.
It kills friendship and I was monumentally ashamed of myself.

I just bought a pen, wet blue ink, with 0.5m point for under RM5.00. It is a good pen, and being new, I carried it around with me all the time.

Then there was this meeting yesterday and a friend snatched it away. I was puzzled, then mad. The meeting was at her place, she could have brought her pen. Couldn’t she brought one herself? I was then left with a pen which ink almost finishing. And it was black! I can’t be writing in Black, I am a BLUE girl!!

That went for twenty minutes.

Then I took a look at her across the table and remember the blue, tip point Faber Castell pen she has. She has like a full box of it, she bought them herself I think, I didn’t even ask. I remember how happily she was giving it away whenever people commented how nice it is to write with it. I had two. I saw other girls with the pen, too, which surely came from her.

Then it hit me right there!

How could I be so calculative towards her borrowing my pen? I had another to write on.

How could I behave that way with a person whose heart is so generous?

I was so ashamed of myself I could just kick myself out from the room.

Then I quietly took a cup of coffee for her. A silent apology.

A friendship was almost broken. Over a pen. But a Faber Castell kicked in, and a friendship was saved.

(eee rasa bodoh)

Congratulations Pak Ngah Arris

Today is Arris graduation day. Apak and Mak slept over (after a day out at Nilai yesterday, I bought myself three pairs of kain!) and drove early morning to Unisel at Batang Berjuntai.
He was dressed in red robe. We arrived when they were finally out from the Hall. I quickly shoved him into the Hall to take some picture with the Man's D50 SLR Nikon. Then we took some pictures around as family. I thought I saw tears in his eyes when both Apak and Mak took the picture with him. Three weeks before, his girlfriend of three years just got married. It broke his heart, I know, but he went anyway to the wedding.
At the age of 28, he got his first degree, finally. Alhamdullilah. We knew time wasn't at his side. He took four years to complete his Diploma, was unemployed for almost three years, then took his first degree at Unisel in management.
For me, he was always the brightest boy in the family during childhood. He talked fast and thought fast, too. I think it was his high school that killed his passion, his ideas.
Anyway, past is passed. He is now having a stable job, paycheque was a mere RM1k but he survives. He is the dearest Uncle to my little Azamzikry. In fact, azikry adores him to bits. That what matters, in the end, having a child looks up to you and greets you with screams everytime you come home.
I am just glad that he is home with me, that he had safely graduated, that we are still here for each other.

Clipperseep is listening to: Widuri by Bob Totupuli at In Law's House. Bob is Papa's favorite.
Clipperseep has read the headline today:the RTD is allowing people to personalized their car plate no. I remembered one Mitsubishi Eclipse at IUPUI before with a reg no of 4UNVME (For You To Envy Me). Tot it was a girl car

.

The much talked about newly weds in town

The much talked about newly weds in town : Siti Nurhaliza and Datuk Khalid.

Much has said about them. The latest email I received was about the love bite on her neck. Then about her being ‘charmed’ by her current husband, about how charm has turned her into someone rude and forceful towards the parents. About parents not blessing the marriage.

Sigh..

Couldn’t just people leave the two alone. They are married. And be done with it.

People can never stop wondering about her life, how is she coping with the new role, how is the husband supporting her career. People can’t wait to hear the news of her being pregnant, about whether she’ll prefer a boy or a girl, about what are the name choices she has, would she breastfeed, would she have nannies.

Imagine if your journey to marriage and motherhood are on front pages, almost every week.

Following are the questions they used to ask Siti, and ask yourselves on how would you answer them?

Why do you choose him to be your husband?
What are the values he has?
What are his physical attributes that compelled you to love him?
How long have you been in love with him?
Don’t you think that is too short / too long to get married? Why not married later / sooner?
When will you have your first baby?
What do you think of his parents? What does he think of yours?
Will you still work after getting married?

I’m just glad to be married to the Man.





Clipperseep is listening to: Shania Twain

Another Baby?

The Man has started his bowling league back. I abide.

So, there was mommy yesterday night, with the Greatest Kid On Earth at home, attending to his games of cars and tickles while trying to watch Failure to Launch (Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McCoughnehey sp??). When he rubbed his eyes repeatedly, I brought him upstairs, changed him and put him to bed. He, as always, twirled around the bed but hands searching mine to hug him.

He, also, didn't wanna go home when Daddy picked him up from Acik's House. He said, 'Tanak..Tanak Daddy.. Mommy?'..

Mommy's boy......

Anyway, The Man has rolled his plan for the Second Greatest Kid On Earth. He said, the second shall be in Standard One when the First one is in Standard Four, at least. So, if Azam Zikry was born in 2004, the second baby get to be born in 2007, meaning I have to conceive .. lemme count.... NOW!!!!

I hesitated to answer, to think or even to conceive. Sex is now postponed or deferred or avoided at 100% all of the time (even with the IUD inside me).

When I looked hard at Azam Zikry's face, I wonder whether I could love another as much as I love him. I wonder whether I would do fair to the second one since I have loved this one so much. I wonder whether I could spend as much time coloring, tickling, dancing and hugging Azam Zikry when his baby sister popped out. ( But I do want a girl.... sigh.... ) I wonder whether Azam Zikry will feel left out, or he'll poke his sister's cheeck continuously to get my attention. I wonder whether I could still juggle with home cleaning, cooking, laundry after coming home at 5:30.

(So, gartblue, how did you do it?)

Or shall I just stop wondering and just do it?

I really wanna do the right thing. I don't wanna spend nine months eyeing the clothes I can't wear, the shoes I can't wear and the caffeine I can't have, feeling whether that was the right thing to do.

Being a super loving mommy makes this hard.

Do I Have That Kind of Friends?

Two of my friends have been investigated by the Internal Affairs Department, of a thing that were forced on them, and of course, they didn't back their back quite well. Therefore, they have received the letters on the charges, and the proceeding for such have been set. The letters were received three weeks before the real Domesti Inquiry happen, and the inquiry is very much the same like any proceeding in a court. two sides, with prosecutors and defences calling up witnesses to examine, cross examine and re-examine. Fooh...! Sounds seriously unknown.
Upon receipt of that letter, we have been scurrying around , looking for evidences, 'lawyer' to defend, procedures and all shits of things. First we know nothing about the procedures. Some of us don't even have the procedure of discpline booklet. Then we must look for the guy to act as the defend lawyer. Since all the Union people went for a yearly retreat, we had to scourge the ones left around. (brilliant, isn't it! finding a time where the Union people is gone to do the Inquiry)
We did n't have the strategies. Then we fought over how to go about it.
I practically breathe throught their charges day and night, to find whether there are loopholes in technicalities, see whether they can win.
We also took leave to work on the defense strategy. We spent weekends to discuss.
Since one of the friends is not an Union member, the defend lawyer gotta take leave durign proceedings which can take up to 20 days.

It hit me hard. Do I have a friend that will take leave just to defend me? Do I have a friend who will drop everything that he does just to come and help me?


Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

Bad, Bad Girl!

So I have not been a good girl.

I popped in Ponstan almost every other day during my period. It's been bad. The cold hit me. The walking hit me too

I drink coffee almost everynight to stay awake after putting Junior to bed. And I did that just to believe it or not, read !!

I made the Man looked after the Junior 2 hours while I Shop at Sunway. Despite the curses thrown silently to the woman I saw the other day giving her 2 months old (sleeping two months old!) to the husband while she went to roam Jusco. Worse still it was actually window shopping. I didn't buy anything for the 2 hours he had to put up with the boy and me feeling guilty, grabbed two pairs of wacoal. Anyways.

My Master card balance had also been left unmonitored .this morning when I checked it is RM43O something ! After the RM one thousand of settlement I sometimes wonder when is this going to end- (it's when u stop swiping u silly)

I also had been a silent bitch with the mother in law. Aftershe refused tv look after Junior for a mere 3 hours I pretend to be really mad at her. I plan not to sleep over hers for at least 6 months, bad girl ain't I?

Brokeback Mountain

Finished seeing the most talked about Brokeback Mountain.

If you see it with a pre judgment, you won't get to enjoy the real juice of the movie . If sex is what you want to see, I am sorry, it's not the kind o ffmovie that will satisfy your appetite.

*oh bythe way, this is tyyped using the pda bluetooth keyboard*

I would interpret the movie in a way that I like. For me it is more like a story of a forbidden love....one is so into living the life, going all out for love.. Another one is in denial, trying to love in secret , feeling guilty to himself, to the family and to God eventually.

I asked the man what he remembered most about Brokeback Mountain. Answered the sex part. I guess for a serious thinker, that’s what u'd answered. Nottin wrong. But to me, this is the scene.

Ennis is leaving for the night and there was Jack, standing idly, fiddling with his toes, feeling sad, the kinda merajuk sad. Ennis came by from behind and softly said,

“Hey you would end up sleeping standing like a horse. That's what my mom used o say. And she used to sing me this song”

Humming softly Ennis put a smile back on Jack's face. He rode his horse away and said I see you I the morning.

I think that's romantic.

I also believe that in a gay couple , there is always the softer partner. Jack is one. While these two can fight, smoke, swear, rodeo, have kids but there is one who needs sheltering and one who tends to protect. I feel we should respect that.

While I am trying to live my life not judging (hey even He waits to the judgment day to judge) I agree that it is not appropriate to be allowed a screening Malaysia (They did not, did they?) I still believe that its not easy to prove that you love God more than the worldly possession and screening it would only encourage those who confused about the sexuality made to believe that they are left with no choice but to face t that they are gays.

God I had so much to write and words just don’t come outright.... Go watch broke back mountain, watch it with open heart and open mind.

Right Cause, Wrong Battle.

Just called kampong and there’s this sharp pain in my tummy and I just have to blog right away.

My dad, after his retirement, has chosen to live a very simple life. He spent mornings in the lands he purchased which he hopes to be our, the children, durians orchards. He came back home for lunch, and spent late afternoon around the house or at the future durian orchards. He spent Maghrib and Isyak in the old surau nearby and came home for dinner, watching F1 or football or currently AF. Except, for certain days, he and his best friend, Pak Cik Mat Som, will go out, sometimes near or far, driving the kereta jenazah to take some bodies back to our small little Lenggong.

The kereta jenazah is actually his prerogative. He worked on the Body to work on the Fund (something named Badan Khairat Kematian and Kebajikan Surau Kampung Masjid Lama Lenggong or something like that), getting the Body regularized and finally get the Fund worked out. We managed to raise some money after a few years, and he managed to secure a second hand ambulance from Hospital Kuala Kangsar. The vehicle somehow, broke down a lot, we spent more money on the maintenance. Until one day, the Tabung Haji big shot passed by the Surau, saw the kampong boys were pushing the dead kereta jenazah, of course without any body in! We then got a brand new vehicle from the Tabung Haji.

So, this is not about my dad.

My dad, at his recent trip, had been to a place further, to pick up a body from a Prison whom had just received his death sentence. If you remember, six years ago, there was this big news about al-Maunah, who took over a school over a hill and killed two people, having in their possession a mountain of army guns. These were people trained in Afghanistan, who fought in the name of God. I’m not denying any injustice or justice done to them. I just believe that it is a Battle with a good-cause but chosen at the wrong place, wrong time and wrong enemy. Wonder how big could they be a help at Labenon, fighting the Israelis, should they be still alive.

Amin, or late Amin shall I say, was raised in Jenalik, the very same kampong where the school was taken over. His father sold Apam Balik at Pekan Sabtu at Lenggong, we bought his many times with him being the sole apam balik seller. His mother organized yearly trips for Umrah. His four accomplices’ sentences has taken place few months ago, but he asked a deferment to see his mother who went for Umrah.

On the day the sentence took place, my father and pakcik matsom departed Lenggong at around 1.30 a.m. Imagine, how sayu it is, the kereta jenazah start moving when the man is still alive. He was hung ( I notice I have been avoiding to use the word hang, I pulled a sigh when I finally wrote one) right after Subuh. They told that he recited Azan and for three short seconds, the room’s light went off. The body was then taken to Hospital for verification and then my dad took him into the kereta jenazah. He was neither kapan-ed nor bathed for the family had asked to perform those themselves.

My dad was moving along the highway, three hours with him, the man who had fought for a battle he believed true, with skin around his neck melecet caused by the ropes that has taken his life.

For a split of moment, I have thrown away all the judgment. I didn’t know whether to feel sad or the feel he-deserved-so. Yes, he has taken two lives. Yes, if we want to play god, we might say that his sins have been washed away receiving such punishment and he died, clear of any. We can’t tell whether his death is syahid, neither can we telling that it’s not. It’s all His rules, His judgment, the Mighty Allah. For all I know, he must have repented for he has been given six years to do so.

And how about us? Do we have six years? Do we know?

Can’t say he is lucky to end his life that way, being given time fight for a battle he truly believed, being given time to repent. But can’t help but feeling so.

My feeling is a mixture of sad and sebak and sayu. Sometimes English doesn’t do justice to me, eh. I just can wish that if the man and his boys are still around, they’ll be jumping at the front line at this very moment at Lebanon, safeguarding the children and the women. Sad, isn’t it, to know that such valuable lives are wasted on a wrong battle.

Or was it a truly wrong one? Who am I to judge…..

Sorry

That long posting was done actually during one of the FC Meeting, where I was the secretariat. People were talking nonsense and I managed to blog !(in word of course)

I know I have been getting sloppy in blogging. I know you guys miss me! :) I miss blog hopping as well.

The Seminar, We Did It!

So, I have been silence for the past two weeks.

So, it is.

We were busy preparing for the retreat that we have yearly. I didn’t think I did very well last year, there were rooms for improvement, there were booked room left unoccupied. The boss, however, called me up on the stage, announcing to the participants on the hard work I’ve done. I was proud, and it was clearly shown how proud he was with me. It is something that I carry on forever with me, being appreciated that way. I knew he has noticed the hard work I’ve done, the commitment I’ve shown. I handled everything, I took care of the participants invitation and the VIPs’ too, with NFK’s help, of course. I handled the presenter papers and printings, with Ida’s help. I handled the hotel arrangement, with KT’s help. The only things that I don’t have my hands in is the dinner. I let the sub-committee of dinner handled everything, I was just there enjoying how good were Ena and Sob emceeing. But ShBH saw the hard work I’ve done and he appreciated it. He made sure the whole company appreciate that too. I’d be telling Azam Zikry one day, of all the hard work I’ve done, my boss made me stand on the stage and ask the whole floor to applause me.

This year SBH the Boss decided for Ida to take the lead together with PK. I think the arrangement were superb, since this is the first time they were in together. They might handled things differently, both of them were people-people. They like to be deciding the things together. I was a bit impatient with them being indecisive, but they managed to pull it through, together. I am proud.

I, however, am a little bit disappointed with INI. She didn’t take the opportunity to show people how capable she was in leading a team of people, and what saddened me most is when she said, “I didn’t even know that I am supposed to be the second man and lead the whole group”. That’s a little bit awkward, isn’t it. She was also ‘not there’ first thing in the morning to ensure everything was fine, she left it to her boss, PK. I didn’t know what’s gotten into her, she is a responsible and committed person to me. Why sucker on this one? I gotta go and speak to her one of these days.

PK, being PK, is the kinda person who sits together with all to decide on all things, from the tiniest to the largest. He wanted to make sure that everyone is happy with the arrangement he’s gonna make. He dealt with everyone and made sure that he knows about every arrangement we made. He roped in the boss in almost all the decision.

We didn’t have problem with the participants. Some were very understanding when we told that the souvenirs were not enough on the second day. (how it would be enough, the souvenirs were purchased when the list was first finalized, and the Captain decide to revisit and revisit the list). The paper quality was great, I think. We managed to pull in the authority to give their thoughts. The environment guy was there too. Three Mat Salehs were there, making it more prestigious, you know how people look at the guys with blue eyes!. The trip to the site was smooth and great. Food was fantastic. The hotel service was a bit disappointed, I think.

SBH was there as the usherette and I think he did great. He really wanted to make PK and INI feel that he is supporting their leadership, even with the smallest work, i.e. ushering.

I think MizAnoi was a real pure, born blunder. Our key note speaker is the most protocol person in the whole org, and of all the people, she chose to announce his title wrongly. I quickly went to her and calmed her down, then I asked her to apologize publicly. No, she didn’t do that. She was too proud doing that. Sorry is the last she would say.

Yes, disappointed I was with PK and INI before the event, the way they work just doesn’t match mine. But I know they will pull through together. I know they will. Because I know, they are committed to the event happening, as much as I did last year. And I have to accept the fact they have their own style of working, I bit my lip through out the time, being there whenever they needed me. As SOB recited the morning doa just before the event started, tears went down on my cheek, for the event was really happening, for the bravery I’ve shown biting my own lips all the time to let these two shine, for the commitment these two had, for all the participants who came uncomplaining about the insufficient of the course material. Alhamdullilah, I recited and had to run to the technical room just to wipe off the tears!

Silly!

Why Couldn't People Understand?

I'd like very much for you guys to read Muaz' blog (that I haven't read quite a while since the IT Dept has blocked the blogspot) at http://az95.blogspot.com/ titled Isn't Everybody Unique?

Muaz is very much, hmm a weird guy, (Sorry, my vocab just couldn't find any other words to substitute), at school. At first, he looks like a Japanese where everybody else looks like typical orang Perak, or orang Johor or other states. Then he walked differently. He looked at people like he 'stared' at them. He listened to musics that others don't hear. The only music of his that I like is of course, Def Leppard. He then wrote English not the way we wrote, simply because his vocabulary are very very much expanded than ours. He talked fast. Those made him weird.

It is true that people who don't behave like us are weird in our eyes.

But that doesn't make them good friends. Muaz was very much like one. I can't tell why, but he has very soft spot for me. He helped us the girls, during our debate season. He smiled, once he gets to know you, not like any other Form Four Baru. Perhaps he wasn't there to be the shoulder to cry on, simply because he talked fast ( I think he still do now), but he is there, we know.

When I finally found him on the IRC when we were at the States, I was thrilled. Hey, at least there are a few more of the clans in the States. He then got little fling with a good friend of mine when we were at the States. They broke up and still that doesn't change what I felt of him.

So, reading his blog, I know that he is still the weird guy. He admit his being difference from the rest of the colleagues and I quote,

I may not eat the things they eat. Eggs, durians, or whatever.
I may not listen to the music they delve in, be it '80s Malay male and female pop, or whatever.
I may not drive the "normal" cars like them. Protons, Peroduas et cetera. (oh yes he drive a Mini that I think so not cool! and he refers his Mini as Stellar)
I may not chat much about football, or anything much that they chat about.
I may not appreciate or watch certain sports or certain TV programs like them, football included.
I may have different opinions on certain things, be it similar or different from them, but then again, I do think I am entitled to voice out.
I may not dirty my lungs with cigarette smokes like they do.
I may not have the facial feature they like. (Ha? People then notice that he looks like a Japanese? I thought I was the only one)
I may not have the same dreams of owning a house or driving hire-purchase cars like they do.
I may not listen to Adam Ahmad every morning like somebody I know did. And I didn't pester people with my music (hence the headphone collection I have).
Unquoted.

I couldn't agree more. Life is so much beautiful because people are different from each other.

However, I must insist that we must respected each other's uniqueness (or weirdness)

For example.

If you don't like football, don't belittle those who woke up at 3 a.m. to watch the 'stupid game', how stupid you think that it. Don't ever mention the word stupid, just respect the game and the hobby as it is.
If you dont' like mellow soft songs, like Malay in the 80s, don't say that those who listen are simply outdated or unproductive. Respect people's favorite music.
If you think AF4 is boring, do not condemn those who waited 8:30 for the concert. Do not ever keep comparing Mawi and Faisal, that just irritates people. Keep your opinion to yourself, unless asked.
If you are not a smoker, who chose not to smoke because you want to protect your lungs and the loved ones', do not make faces when the puff people happened to make at mamak store. Unless the puff was directed to you. Similarly, if you are a smoker, choose your ciggy break spot wisely.

And ponder upon what he wrote at the end.
Quote:
I know people are unique. And they have all the rights to being that. I just appreciate the simple beauty of it.
Unqtd.

Positive Feedbacks

(Wow! I never knew that we can still access www.blogspot.com. I thought nobody read my blogs nowadays)

Went over to Zilis’ office for a legal case meeting (which I think we will win yay!) and stopped over her office to chat.

Was actually trying to ask Zilis about how she feels about Mawi’s recent hu-ha. First the fiancé and then the dad. I knew she’ll answer, she doesn’t care, she loves Mawi no matter what.

Not that I care about how the engagement will end (I kinda predicted that it will end up this way, never expected it will be such a big hu-ha for four consecutive days! It event took up one whole page of Utusan the other day!) but I felt sympathy towards him and the whole family. Imagine your whole personal life is written in all papers in the nation. Foohhh…. I don’t think I could stand that. That’s why Clipperseep is born genius who will end up as gorgeous engineer.

Many had also asked about the 5 Love Language I’ve written. You guys loved it eh when it come to words LOVE. The first one that I read is plain 5 Love Language. Kana bought it and me and The Man were fighting over to read it. Then the author wrote another one, 5 Love Language for Children.

I haven’t written about Words of Affirmation (which Zilis thinks is hers). A child whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation, answered, when asked how did she know the mother loves her, “I knew it because she always tell me that she love me, that my hair looks nice, that she appreciate I help her with the garbage”.

After all, everybody needs positive feedback about themselves, don’t we?

Speaking of positive feedback, my office had just finished an exercise of writing 5 positive values of each one at work on a piece of paper and distribute it after that. The writer should remain anynomous but hey, I kinda know everyone’s handwriting. This is the list of what I can remember most of them write:

1. My two bosses which I reported to say that I am creative. In fact, creative is the only thing my direct boss wrote! (lazy bum, he is!)
2. that I am stylish, one even write ‘celebrity’ kakakah (jangan jealous eh)
3. committed to work, just like my boss.
4. hardworking
5. MD wrote that everything about me is fantastic
6. some wrote that I am organized (looks like the act of kononnya meja teratur berjaya!)
7. humble
8. knowledgeable
9. jovial and mesra
10. mizanoi, trying not to see my other traits, wrote “You are very helpful”.
11. good mother (I love this one)
12. sob wrote that I am a good blogger (of course I know it’s you, sob, who else read my blog at work? Or who else is given the permission to read my blog but you)
13. task oriented and willing to expand to doing other things (that come from the boss, you know! Looks like he wants me to do more of other job)
14. dependable
15. responsible
16. jay wrote that I am understanding (of course, after all the shits she put up and I am still there supporting her)

Isn’t it great?

Positive feedback is like food to our souls. We can only function well if our emotional tank is full, wrote Gary Chapman. So, drop me a comment requesting one and I will write you list of positive feedbacks so that it will just make your day! (jangan le malu!)

5 Love Languanges

I read 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman about three years ago and remember the things thought in the book very vividly. Recently, Akma presented me with 5 Love Languages for Children that I recommended her to buy (which she then ordered for me, too, isn't she just sweet?) and I enjoyed this one much more.

Basically, there are 5 Love Languages human spoken and there are:

1. Physical Touch
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Words of Affirmation

This book didn't only teach me of what is my Love Language, how to find the Man's love language, but it teaches me the whole lot of story about showing love. In principal, people show love the way they wanted to be loved and that 'way' is their primary love language. There are many people who love their family to bits but their parents / spouse / children never felt it so. That is because they don't show the love they way that the family wanted.

After reading, I found out my primary love language is Physical Touch and followed by Gifts. What it means is, The Man can always tell me that he loves me but if he doesn't touch me when say it out, I won't feel it. That explains why do I never thought that his voice is romantic over the phone (as what is claimed by the Kelantan girl he had huge crush for). That explains why did I went to his door and kissed him on the cheek after he said the word sayang for the first time on the phone. That explains why did I always put on show everytime we went out together for movie or something and he never hold my hands.

My secondary language, i.e Gifts, shows that I 'see' love from people from the gifts they gave me. (No wonder I love birthdays so much!). Gifts that are wrapped shown that they were chosen with care and of course, with love. CDs that were sold at the entrance of the mall shows that they never bother to think of what to give in advance, rather they prefer to just chose what's the store is offering. Big NO! I also found myself favoring wearing the baju that people gave me (example the batik Terengganu mom in law gave) in front of them. And dressing the Boy too, at the very moment when the shirts or pants were presented to us. I can undress the Boy in a split of second and put on the clothings they just gave. It is important for me to show people that their gifts are appreciated.

The Man's primary is Act of Service followed by Quality Time. He loved it when I ironed his shirt and never forget to say thank you. He mumbles when I haven't cook for a week. He loves it when I do the ear things and can spent hours on my laps. He noticed when I spring cleaned the living room. He loves it when I made chicken soup and porridge and brought the food over to the bed whenever he was sick.

Then, on Quality time, he made sure that we spent our 29th in our own way, whether go out for a movie, or dinner. He made sure that he gets the privilege to bath the Boy so that the Boy will notice that, "Bath time = fun time = Time with Daddy!".

The book will tell you on how to find your own and your spouse love language. Go ready, it would do you lots of wonder. The most important thing is for you to 'speak' the spouse's language so that he will not feel unloved.

I made sure that how tired I was, whenever he started complaining about getting bored eating outside, I drank the whole cup of coffee to stay alert and start dinner. I gave him a massage once a while when he complained about the backache. I sometimes offer to bank in his cheques. Once I took leave and send his car for service first thing in the morning.

With children under 5, it is easy, speak all the five love languages and they will love it. The primary language will start appearing and you'll notice it. Through out life, the primary language can change.

Go read the book.

Happy Birthday Sobri!

Am early in the office to use the streamyx and to wish Sobri, a very Happy Birthday!


Clipperseep is listening to: Biarlah Rahsia by Siti Nurhaliza lingers around. Wonder whether Farhan AF4 can sing it tomorrow.

Sorry for the Long Silence

I have written about how the IT Dept has blocked all blogs, fotopages webs from being accessed within the internet facilities of this mighty company.

And you'd know on how impossible it was for me to login after getting the boy to sleep.

Tonight, I took a large mug of Tongkat Ali Ginseng Coffee just to be awake and blog!

The thing is, I am sooooo excited for tomorrow. It is our vacation to Kuching!! Yeahhoooo!!!! I packed the whole things into one big briefcase, strugling arranging and re-arranging stuff. Finally, I got all in (except for one big towel which should be used as the Boy's blanket) after spreading the diapers evenly on top of Mommy's and Daddy's shirts.

I planned this for half a year. We got the ticket KL-Kuching for RM298.00 (for two adults and one baby) during the AirAsia promotions last Decemer. Not bad huh... Then the Man spent another RM800 I think for the hotel. It isn't really fair, is it? I wanted to go, I booked the flight, then he ended up paying much more than me. But we DESERVE this vacation! Okay okay... I wanna stop thinking about it or I'll be swimming in the sea of guilt.

Hey ya I must remember to tell the Man about little AZ screaming, "A-bit" seeing the rabbit in the Honk, Toots and Swo-swoosh.

I also finally get to read the Shophalics by Sophie Kinsella and I think she's great. Gotta buy a few more of hers. I also have applied leave for next Monday and Tuesday , just to do my stuff. You know, usual stuff like roaming the mall, or doing the hair or just reading some books that I 've been wanting to read. So next Monday and Tuesday, I'll be spending ME time. The baby will be sent to the baby sitter, the Man will be attending course and I get to do all the things I've been enjoying. Of course we will try to squeeze time for any movie, if there's any the Man could catch.

Hmm... it is a bliss, isn't it, to think of how to leave work. I think work is like always, busy busy busy but with the two new bees, I get to spend more time on the report the MD was bugging. The monthly report now will be much more meaningful, useful to us, rather than just figures to be presented to the higher management.

TV Shows. I missed the finale of Grey's Anatomy (ugghh!), I missed two of Charmed but gotta see the finale last night. Akademi Fantasia, catching the diaries here and there but I missed the Prelude and the First concert. The OC is getting interesting even though I think Marissa's character is getting annoying. Don't think the girl knows how to act. (Marscha Burton or whatsoever the name was).

On AF. AZ now knows how to dance to "Menuju puncak, gemilang di hati!", exactly like what Cikgu Corrie taught. He raised his hands up above his head, put them together and swirled them around before bringing them close to his heart. Ahhh... I think that's cool. He's glued to the diaries, just like Mommy. On AF. I like Velvet the most, I think the girl is the most honest and of course, she is not fat!! I just feel like texting to the AF15 , "Screw to those who said she's FAT!". She is just chubby, but the arms are not flabby, the tummy is not bulging, and the butt is just nice. I think Farhan's butt is much bigger. On AF. Three different people I know, sitting across the state, have claimed that they thought Farhan looks just like me.

The coffee is wearing off. Hope to blog again. I miss blogging, I do, really. See ya!

Current Achievement

Current Favorite Album: DEWA, which has Laskar Cinta, but my favorite is track 12.
Current Favorite Craze: 2 x 3 SUDOKU (okay, my brain is too litle for that 3 x 3 .. I never get to finish even one of 3 x 3.
Current Spoken Harsh Word: Hangin satu badan! (spoken about a vendor who jaja keliling cerita dapat contract, padahal ntah dapat ke tidak)
Current Favorite Series: Grey's Anatomy (oh there I was speaking about MRI and stuffs)
Current Seen HBO Movies: 5 Person You Met in Heaven.
Current Most Awaited TV Show: Of course, Akademi Fantasia 4.
Current Drama Hit Me Most: Believe it or not, Salina 2... Haha.. the Kamal character is so handsomely portrayed. I fall in love within seconds.. for every move he made, every wise words he spoken.
Current Important Thing That I Proscrastinate Doing: BEM Registration! Finally get it done on Tuesday.

The Ear Story Ere!

Over Mama's place, has just put AZ to sleep. Okay, I lied... I lured him to sleep just so that I could spend sometime alone. He, had just finished his bath, was still goo-gaaing with the birds outside when he gulped down the whole 7 ounces milk. I lured him by taking a cotton bud and did both of his ears. Tak aci, kan? But that does put him to nap, I hope for another two hours.

I had a thing with the ear. I did mine with a small tiny metal kinda thing, one of the things I do daily. I had one placed on my bedside table, another one on the tv, so that I could just grab and do it every time the urge comes. When big hard wax came out, the satisfaction was beyond words.

I also had a thing with The Man's ears and AZ ears. Thee heee.... I could do them straight for minutes until my back aches or they got restless. Not until the big hard thing came out, twirling I would inside their ears.

Can't Blog From Work, Nomore!

My ever so clever IT Dept has decided to block a few websites and blogspot is one of them! :( I was hmmphfing with Gartblue / Lothloriendor the other day over her room on how unfair it is for blog maniacs like us. I did blog a few using my PDA keyboard , haven't gotten the chance to upload them yet.

I actually missed blogging so much. It is the only place where I think of whenever the ideas are flowing like river down to the sea. Haven't been blog hopping, missed reading Salman's and Muaz's and Lothloriendor's too.

A few major items has taken place.

First, the one month of On Job Training for the two newbees has ceased yesterday. They did a presentation which I didn't get to see much since vendors are collecting their Letters. Pretty much, I think the boss is proud of them, and of me for training them well. Come monday, the real juice will come out, and you'll see how panick these two could be liasing with the hard to understand Indonesians, putar belit at their own whims Koreans and of course, the funny slangs of the Aussies! I'd enjoy laughing...

Second, MizAnoi has been buddy buddy with me again... and she has been showing off extraordinarily during any of the Staff Meetings. Rumors had it that she did ask a lot of questions during a recent in house training ida organized, but all the questions are of course, crap! Even our clerk had asked better and much intelligent questions. Hmmpfhh... The newbees are noticing on where she is seated in every of the staff meeting (next to the most powerful boss in the room). I say nothing, I let them experience her by themselves.

Third, the Mega BlockBuster Sale of Metrojaya is unbelievably fantastic! You may get 50% of GUESS bags, 50% on Guy Laroche's, up to 70% of Tuscano. I bought two, was thinking of handing Ida one, since she has been carrying the knapsack to any of the meeting, but when I took a look at them again, hmm decided to keep both! I didn't get to chance to browse thru the apparel but the bags are irresistable!

Fourth, last night was Bong Chiew Ping's wedding. She, Edina, Min and me were the only girls in the Mechanical Engr class, we were housed in a same apartment. When they played the slide shows, strong gut feeling says that our picture will be there, true enough! There was me, Edina, Min and her at the Speech Day (the final day of the Communication Class, where everyone was invited to listen to the six finalist of great speakers). I was thrilled and Min, by myside, was too. She remembered us that dear! She honored the memories of us, the first Malay friends she had, the only ones she became roomate to. My eyes were stinging, happily of course.

Fifth, exactly a year ago, on this day, I was at Laban Rata preparing to sleep for the next summit ascending (where MizAnoi decided to give up at KM 8.0!) I knew it from then on, I would always be a winner in her eyes.


Clipperseep is listening to:Great White, Save Your Love
Clipperseep has read the headline today:What Security Commissions was doing??!!
Moment of day:Sipping mama's mint tea and it was surprisingly delicious.

To Buy

The Man is having his bowling game tomorrow at OU. Yay! I decided to tag along and drag AZ too. His game is at 2:30. So I guess, we can catch up with the famour japanese buffet spread. He was talking about it for the one millionth time, I think. He went on and on about how big the place was, that the spread was too big to be covered within the meal times. I imagine all the sashimi and miso soup..... slurpy!

But perhaps we won't get to eat Japanese. After 12:00 is AZ nappy time and God knows how cranky can he be when he is sleepy. Perhaps we would just settle for a bowl of noodle back home and only then go to OU.

But I got a list of things to buy:

1. My two way cake foundation by Channel was finally converted to loose powder last month. That is the only foundation that doesn't introduce itchiness on my skin. It costs around RM160 plus the casing, but I got the casing anyway.

2. I gotta shop for a big bag. The one Mom in law bought is too small to fit my wireless keyboard.

3. I need to find few birthday cards for yan, ida, mak and alang and some teacher's day card.

4. AZ, I think, needs a new pair of shoes.

See whether I can find all those with AZ along and The Man bowling.


p/s Just wanna say hi to DogGirl.


Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

Cutting Line

On the way to work, I will pass thru the Bali Commerce Leisure Square where there will be two lines of cars trying to get in front of me to get to Federal Highway. Of course, me, coming out from Mentari, tried to get infront of the people coming down from Puchong. But we were on the right lane, trying to fish for sympathy in order to get down to Federal Highway. But we were on the right lane.
However, there are some cars cutting the two lines infront of the Bali Commerce Leisure Square taking the wrong lane (they took the lane going into instead). I thought that these cars did it unintentionally.
COuld be that it was the day where they didn't hear the alarm but they had to get to work early because there is this morning meeting with the boss,
or could be that their kids got sick and threw up on their shirts, forcing them to change thus delayed starting the car,
or car had to be jump started,
or they just have to get to work fast because they simply need to poop.
You see, I was trying so hard to think of the positive side of their stories.
But , it was actually wrong!
These are the same people driving the same car, cutting the line every damn same day! They did this on purpose! They just refuse to stay to wait in line like the others!

Tantrum

Tonight is a bliss.

For two previous nights, Azam Zikry was behaving very unusual. It was like, it was not him. It was just not him. He threw himself on the bed, twisting around and screamed at the top of his lung. He constantly mengamuk tak tentu pasal when not given things that he wants, turned his head 180 degrees and plopped himself on the floor screaming. Ohh yoohh tak tahan! I kept wondering why.
1. Could it be because everybody at Kampung paid atention to chubby cheruby Baby Soleh instead of him?
2. Could something followed him back home from the reserve forest where we went to the waterfall? *spooky eh*
3. Could the fever last week lingered around his body?

Whatever it is, I tried so hard tonight not to let him start throwing tantrum. We went back home, quickly boiled over tomyam for dinner, I had my quick shower then we went to pick him up earlier than the days in the previous weeks. We carefully chose few toys that he hadn't seen for a while and started reading him books. Whenever he started to turn around and screamed, I quickly picked him up and played hide and seek or round-round-the-garden. It worked!

He took around 45 minutes to doze off, anyway, after twisting around the bed but screaming he did not and I was so thankful. At around 9:45, I could come down and blogged. ALlhamdullilah.

And I am blogging while watching this Love Chappel at Channel V and their tiny little monkey having epilepsy! macam tak ada cerita lain.....!

Oh ya I have to apologize for tilting your head sideways looking at Baby Soleh's pix. Wasn't sure which one did I upload to the blog until I look at them! Haha.. anyway, those were taken by my O2.. not bad huh?



Clipperseep has read the headline today: Member of Parliament told the Custom to let a timber smugler go!
Moment of day: Oh ya did I tell you that I had mmy hair cut short? Cool.... there I was again, washing my hair and getting it dried within seconds!

The Birthday, The Long Weekend and Baby Soleh!

Hello people.... I am blogging from kampunng11 not reallly bblogging online bbut I am typing it at my pDAA using thhe new pda keyoard bluetooth that the man gave me for mybbirthday........
Wwell which one do you want to talk first.... The pda keyyboard oor the irthday... Let's jsst talk aout the birthday.... It was my 29tth!!!!! How sad is that, haing the last irthday efore we turn 30... So to redeem the hhappiness I once felt everytime my birthdayy came since I ws little, I started the birthday celebration a day before by reminding everyone at work of my birthdaythrogh emamil. I pratiallyask all of them a kiss in the morning (off coure I expected it rom thhe girls onll)

Along thhe week I hae been reminding the man to buy me my birthday present

On the morning of 28th, I received few sms and then sent n sms reminder to eerybodywho didn''t send. it was by thewaya ery usyday I cancelled the half day I was suuupoed to tttaake to go and wath a moie. I arrieed home ar/oond 7 and then the man took me to japanese semi buffet at Sheraton's, where he ordered a hoft stone sefood and a ay ockaroach acme out from the stove... Hahaha...... He also bought me a ouquet of lilliies whih smells good!!!!

Kak ida gave me a kain to do baju kurung. None of my family members remembers (or because I was headinnng bak kampng thhe dy after)

Ssomebody emaiiled aabout ho excited we were whe were 9. People asked how old are you, are you ten ? Then you'll bbbe like,,,, yes allmost.... But then iwhen it comes to 29, if people dare asking me, are you 30? I'll be llike, no I am 29....... guee tat is what love and hate relationship between human (or girls0 and nnumber......

Anyway it's just a number... Like manysaid. .and
Here I am, being a 29 and blgoging ffrom my lblle tootfh keyboard... It's not so conevnient, many are wronglyspelt... Bt it doe its purpose.........

Now that I have cut and pasted the notes I blogged using my PDA keyboard, it sucks eh? I’ll give it a few more tries…..

Anyway, the whole team came back home. Mazian and Arris came home with me and The Man. Hamdan with his wife and the four months and 7 kgs baby Soleh picked Hidayah up from Kuantan. We arrived first at around 12:00 and then they arrived at around 15:00. Apak looked so thrilled and he went and picked up some kelapa muda an hour later. With ice, we were fed till the last drop… yummy! Sadly, The Man wasn’t there to join the hoo-la-la, he was flat, sleeping, unmoved. Ye la.. driving the new car for three hours, refusing to take pit stop will put him to that mode, surely.

We went to the Lata Kekabu the legendary waterfall on Sunday noon. Went back on Monday noon. With all the food (pulut jagung, nasi lemak, laksa, ikan bakar, sup tulang), I am confidently saying that food is the way the family shows love and affection.

Blogging Honestly

Could possibly some friendships got tarnished after one reads the other's blog?
What would some says when they read what I wrote?

I occasionally receive, "You gotta delete that, it's too sensitive", "That's so revealing about the job you do", from the Man and end up correcting.

Whilst I am very very adamant about living your life honestly, I believe that there are hearts to be taken care of, relationships to be considered.

My advise would be to maintain a separate blog where you can just write about anything. Eveytime you write an entry, write them in the normal blog and quickly publish your entry. (You won't get the best out of your entries if you do it in the Word and keep edit and re-edit). View your blog and see whether it would be "the entry" that will hurt people. If you feel it is, transfer to that secret blog you have.

Isn't it just hard to be honest?

His New City!

As I am blogging, the Man is out of the house, picking up his new Honda City!

Alhamdullilah, the other car is finally here after a 5 months hunting.

Fever's Gone

Alhamdullilah, the fever is finally gone. I don’t know what cured it at the end, the antibiotic obviously doesn’t. He was three days on that antibiotic and still no change. So it could be:
1. the wheat grass drink he sipped.
2. the other cough syrup K Endon fed.
3. the rectal paracetamol.

Anyways, I’m just glad I could see him laugh again. Suddenly I feel the sun shines down on me, again. Isn’t it a wonder to come home to a smiling kid?

Grey's Anatomy

Grey’s Anatomy

I wish you guys could see this. This series is just awesome. Did I blog about it is a combination of Scrubs( plus the humor) and ER? Sometimes it has some mysteries to solve like the one in Medical Investigation (and Medical Investigation is the combination of CSI and ER). Plus you got to see some action like the one in the Sex in the City!

Okay. The main character is Dr. Meredith Grey. Her mom is a famous surgeon, but now suffering of Alzhemeir. She and a bunch of other new surgeon are interns at this one hospital. Three surgeon at the hospital is one black woman, Burke and one hot male whom Meredith had a one night stand with. The other interns, one interesting character, I feel, is Dr. Yang, an American Korean. Her hair is like all over the place but she’s like the most keen one. Dr. Model a.k.a Bethany Whisper is a part-time model, finished paying up the USD200,000 study loan but being laughed here and there among the interns. Those three ladies are my favorite character.

You see, the intern surgeons are much much more energetic and high spirited than the New Engineers at my company. They fought for scrapping session (standing beside an operating table beside a surgeon, get to look at all the procedures done and end up stiching), waited eagerly to be called to an operating theatre and never wanted to miss a chance of witnessing a surgeon done (from a room located above the operating theatre with clear glass to see what’s going on inside the theatre).

Sometimes they have to deal with the emotional part of the job, telling the patients or the patients’ families about what and what nots. I think this part is the hardest, harder than reading numerous books on every tiny little thing inside a human’s body.

Of couse one of things that excite me is the romance building up between Meredith and her mentor.

Catch Grey's Anatomy at Star70 every Wednesday 9:00 to 10:00. Cheh macam iklan pulak!

Just Wish

Ouch That Hurts!

I just know from Sob The Rie that MizAnoi claimed that she can’t do certain work because simply she can’t get some data from me. She claimed that even the MD knows that her and I are not in talking terms!
She thinks that I feel that she’s a threat.

First, wasn’t her the first one who start the cold war?
Second, it hasn’t been smooth since she was outside the Team.

Pandai sunggu h la budak ni buat cerita… I was furious. Then thought it through and decided to just storm into her room the next day.

That is the day where she started talking to me back, simply because she need one customer’s address. She then was in the same bowling team with me during last week bowling’s match and happily giving me five everytime I hit spare.

You see, I’m tired of these acts she’s putting. Tired of living in the same office with her and let her have the power of communicating to me. I’m tired of running away, feeling hurt. I’m tired of blogging about what do I actually feel, just so that I won’t have to let all the feelings out in front of the colleagues. (reason simply because I don’t wanna be seen as the one who badmouth people at work… I draw a very thick line between personal feeling and work).. I just wish that she’s out of my life, forever, for good.

Just wish.

Welcome Back

Wanna welcome back Dayang n Ida..

Burn, Burn, Burn.

Little Azam Zikry was burning the whole day yesterday. Since last Thursday, the temperature tend to get higher at night and went normal during the days. But Sunday, he got him sitting next to him all the time.
Tuk Mama and Tuk Wan came for a visit and I got all the “You mustn’t”, “You should”, “You must”, “Cannot”.
We inserted the rectal paracetamol and he get to sleep thru the night after four previously endless nights. Endless nights filled with little arguements whether the towel shall be tepid water or warm water, whether the hair shall be dry so that he won't get flu, whether we should put on sweater or not...
..sigh...

Left Over Food

Do you eat your frozen left over?

The Man went through the freezer and was nagging all the time about all the food we froze and didn’t end up eating.
The thing is, I always hesitated serving the frozen.
Hesitated I always was, too, throwing them away.
So the energy was used to freeze to wash away the guilt of throwing away.

Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice

Went to Berjaya Times Square (LRT Asia Jaya – KL Sentral RM2.00, Monoroal KL Sentral – Imbi RM1.60, not bad at all!) to pick my Mini O2, then thought of browsing around. Saw Border’s, passed thru two times, resisted going in but went in the third time I passed the store, by the way. Got myself a Damien Rice‘ album. Thought Blower’s Daughter is the most honest song of the year. Mostly are violin and guitar. You can almost hear him cry in the song.
I played it repeatedly this morning on the way to work and the emotion linger around within me.
Aggh… can’t take my mind of you….!

Bye bye Shidah

Shidah is going to Dubai tomorrow with Harris Sazwan and Sara Umaira!
Have a nice trip!!!

Ridzuan Razaai

I probably had spent gallons of ink writing this guy's name over and
over paper: behind text books, behind each note books, in pieces of
paper, colored papers, on my arms, accumulatively since I was 7. I grew
up thinking that I love him, that he is the one I look forward to
everyday we went to school, that I will one day marry him. He is the
first guy whose lips brushed mine It was an accident, we were like
practically colided each other when we were 9 (or was it 8?), but I
regard that as the first kiss I had, aahh.. so romantic. Few aunts got
married and spent Raya away from our homes, made me think that he is a
perfect match for me since we will be coming back to the same hometown
every Raya. I grew up thinking that I will marry someone from the same
hometown! I think he is meant for me, my house number was 32, so does
his (of course, from a different kampung). In the game of F.L.A.M.E.S.,
he (his full name) is a friend to me, and I am a friend to him, and we
ended up in L: LOVE. But his firs tname and my first name has a
different story, he is an enemy to me, and I wanna marry him (God that
was so true), we ended up admiring each other. Perhaps the second run
was much correct.
We were like the closest friends at school, top two pupils at the whole
darjah, and how could I be a girflriend to a close friend? When were
11, we grew apart, he was totally in a different world (because he moved
to a different class, sounds more like he moved to a different country
eh? *chuckled*). Then we stopped talking. The only time we talked is
during the prefect meetings, or when fixing the flags on the school
poles. I was so embarassed just to walk by his class just to see where
was he seated. But I caught him staring at me few times whenever he
passed me. In a way, I miss the times when we were seated next to each
other and just fought non-sensely whether cat should be an omnivor
instead of a carnivore. Two final years of my sekolah rendah was a sad
one. Plus, he has become more popular at school. He was like the
football , volleyball, badminton and all sort of other balls STAR. Me,
being an asthaematic child, sat quietly at the canteen when people were
talking about going for a match to another school with him. I was the
shy timid girl admiring him from outside the football field when our
school was the home. I think he run the fastest and kicks the most goals
(or perhaps I didn't understand the rule much) Rumor had that he even
had a pet sister. My heart was crushed, then I vowed to myself that the
day I tell him of how I feel will be the final day I live in a country
called Malaysia. (sooooooo dramatic!) The last day of sekolah rendah, I
sat at the staircase waiting for him just to say that he'll miss me. He
never did and I was the last to leave school.
So there I was, sitting on the staircase thinking that I will never love
another. (bear you that I was 12!). I vowed to myself that I will make
sure I get myself to the States and before flying off, I'll be reaching
him just to tell how much feelings I had had for him, and never, never
set my footback hometown again!
Yes, I did go to the States seven years later. No, he wasn't there to
say good bye, neither he knew I was flying. I was, of couse, was in
between relationships (eithers is not with him). I have forgotten the
vow I made of telling him and not coming back.
Until the day I printed my wedding invitation cards (of a wedding not
with him, and either of the two relationships I was in!). That is about
20 years after I silently declared my feelings to him. The day I
collected the boxes of the cards back home, he called and we met. Turned
out to be we were in the same neighbourhood near USJ. I was nervous
during dinner and told some stupid jokes just to cover things up. He was
practically quiet. He walked me to my car, still quiet. He looked at me
opened up my door, I stared at him and neither of us said any words. I
drove away, thinking that the feelings were never get told.
Then I had it. That night, I called him up again and poured the whole
thing. I started by saying that aren't you not sad that I am getting
married? Things then started to flow. I was no longer the shy timid girl
waiting for him at the staircase. I told him about the first kiss, he
didn't remember that. But he said he remembered kicking a ball hard to
an opponent who has been staring at me outside the football field. (did
he? I couldn't remember, or more that I didn't understand football
much!). He remembered a few things he did for me, and I couldn't recall
any of those, vice versa. Turned out to be that HE ACTUALLY LIKED ME TOO!
All the crushes I have for him are sweet memories. If we would have
became an item, and broke up, all the sweet memories would become
totally the opposite.
Ahhh.. my real puppy love. A plain cinta monyet unfinished. Or was it a
Perhaps Love?

Grey's Anatomy

New series alert!!

Now, I must try had to remember, was it at Star70 or AXN17? It is tonight (Wednesday night at 8:00)

Title shall be Grey's Anatomy. It's about a group of interns posted at a Hospital and assigned to various units, but still there are some other stuffs to be investigated. So it's like a combination of ER and CSI. Like Scrubs but not as foolish as that!

And a bit of sex too! So you may expect a few of Sex in the City scenes in the Hospital!!

Knife

The heart is our garden, and along with each action there is an intention that is planted like a seed. 

We can use a sharp knife to cut someone, and if our intention is to do harm, we will be a murderer. 

We can perform an almost identical action, but if we are a surgeon, the intention is to heal and save a life. 

The action is the same, yet depending on its purpose or intention, it can be either a terrible act or a compassionate act.

Jack Kornfield

Very High Volatile Matter!

I had trouble sleeping last Friday, since I got my BIG orgies during the discussion (more of lecture session) with one of the plants, its coordinator, our Senior VP and us.

It's about a product we sent to the plant that was purchased by the group. The price is about 50% lower than the current price. But the plant is complaining on the difficulty of using it. ( For security purpose, I have to avoid using words like combustion, fuel and such, and make this seems more like a manufacturing plant).

Its coordinator had been making noise. Frequently called the high Volatile Matter person, this very old, jumpy man is making it such a big deal that he doesn't want its former plant (yes, he ruled the plant once) to run on manual and use this product. Of couse when you are using a product, you have a setting tuned to your plant and you re-set your tunning for another product. No, boy, we don't wanna do that, screamed him at the end of the table as if he represent the plant still.

The Senior VP snapped him off, told him that he no longer runs the plant, told him to let go.

I feel ashamed on behalf of him, getting snapped in front of everybody on how to behave. Half of the room are much junior than him. We witnessed him staring blankly at the wall while the lecture went on.

But 90% of me feel good! God knows how much trouble he has caused to occur.

We won!

Clipperseep is listening to: Speed of Sound, Chris Martine father of Apple's in Cold Play.
Clipperseep has read the headline today: Think I did but can't remember, all I remember was Gynewth is pregnant again!

Gone Fishin'?

Mama and papa were at London for two weeks and coming back, the hottest news they were enquiring was about MAWI gone fishing with Diana Rafar. Seems like that is the hotter news than the 9th Malaysian Plan, which focused more on Agriculture, which I tot Papa would be much interested rather than the fishing story. .. sigh...

I am not gonna write about how the fan has claimed that Mawi's life is theirs, done bitching about that when I wrote about the two professionalism-and-humanity-gotta-be-brushed Journalist camping outside of Dato' Khalid's house. No.

This is like the biggest story of the weekend, that made me wonder upon again and again whether I should be telling. Any of you readers belong to Malay community and accustomed to Malay traditions and bicara mulut, appreciate your comment very much.

Let's just say that I know someone (BIL) too well and his family too well too. His mom is one figure Mother and loved all the kids to death. Then BIL got engaged to a rich girl after serious period of dating for about 3 years. BIL was working with a company (bumiputra, of course) who seldom pay salary on time and things were difficult for him. But that serious period of dating was really a fun time for him, he came back late every night and spent weekends away from home. He always came back with bags from the Mall with new shirts or pants or just stuffs. Things were kicking in for BIL and the girlfriend until they decided to get engaged. The girl went with the mom and searched for the engagement ring and sent the receipt to BIL's mom. Then they went again to buy baju melayu and kain sepasang and, sent the receipt to BIL's mom. She hinted the dowry shall be more than RM12,000 I think and they started having arguements. I mean for a girlfriend, she can see the he can provide everything. But when it comes to real marriage, she started to see all the flaws in BIL but they carried on with the engagement anyway.

Then they stopped going out. Each phone calls were dry and tensed. BIL was working hard and got a new job but the tense has grown stronger in the relationship. I pitied the girl for being raised in a rich family and feeling afraid being poor.

Now, BIL, abandoned by the fiancee is alone and lonely. BIL's mom cried her heart out seeing the son being hurt. He spent weekends at home. No more calls that can light up his eyes.

Good look he has, we started to see him coming home with expensive gifts and chocolates. There were like one week anniversary gift, one month gift, and cards. We were happy to see him happy until BIL's mom decided that it's time to break the engagement officially. The parents (both his and hers)met and discuss but still leaving the final decision to the kids. Still, the girl was like refusing to let go. I think it's a good thing that BIL started seeing someone new and was looking forward for a day when he brings home the new girl.

Until a few days ago when a friend of mine who worked at the same place of BIL's called me and we had the kind of talk , "Oh ya you happened to know someone that I work with?". And she told me about the new girl BIL was seeing.

She, the new girl was actuall married with a son. People were talking, since they know both are alread tied to other people. People saw them in the car making out, going out for lunch.

What shall I do? Shall I stay out of it and pretend nothing happens?

What would you do if you were me? If BIL's mom is actually your mom? Wouldn't you want to know?



Clipperseep has read the headline today: two person dies in a boat crash, escape from juvenile prison.