5 Love Languanges

I read 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman about three years ago and remember the things thought in the book very vividly. Recently, Akma presented me with 5 Love Languages for Children that I recommended her to buy (which she then ordered for me, too, isn't she just sweet?) and I enjoyed this one much more.

Basically, there are 5 Love Languages human spoken and there are:

1. Physical Touch
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Words of Affirmation

This book didn't only teach me of what is my Love Language, how to find the Man's love language, but it teaches me the whole lot of story about showing love. In principal, people show love the way they wanted to be loved and that 'way' is their primary love language. There are many people who love their family to bits but their parents / spouse / children never felt it so. That is because they don't show the love they way that the family wanted.

After reading, I found out my primary love language is Physical Touch and followed by Gifts. What it means is, The Man can always tell me that he loves me but if he doesn't touch me when say it out, I won't feel it. That explains why do I never thought that his voice is romantic over the phone (as what is claimed by the Kelantan girl he had huge crush for). That explains why did I went to his door and kissed him on the cheek after he said the word sayang for the first time on the phone. That explains why did I always put on show everytime we went out together for movie or something and he never hold my hands.

My secondary language, i.e Gifts, shows that I 'see' love from people from the gifts they gave me. (No wonder I love birthdays so much!). Gifts that are wrapped shown that they were chosen with care and of course, with love. CDs that were sold at the entrance of the mall shows that they never bother to think of what to give in advance, rather they prefer to just chose what's the store is offering. Big NO! I also found myself favoring wearing the baju that people gave me (example the batik Terengganu mom in law gave) in front of them. And dressing the Boy too, at the very moment when the shirts or pants were presented to us. I can undress the Boy in a split of second and put on the clothings they just gave. It is important for me to show people that their gifts are appreciated.

The Man's primary is Act of Service followed by Quality Time. He loved it when I ironed his shirt and never forget to say thank you. He mumbles when I haven't cook for a week. He loves it when I do the ear things and can spent hours on my laps. He noticed when I spring cleaned the living room. He loves it when I made chicken soup and porridge and brought the food over to the bed whenever he was sick.

Then, on Quality time, he made sure that we spent our 29th in our own way, whether go out for a movie, or dinner. He made sure that he gets the privilege to bath the Boy so that the Boy will notice that, "Bath time = fun time = Time with Daddy!".

The book will tell you on how to find your own and your spouse love language. Go ready, it would do you lots of wonder. The most important thing is for you to 'speak' the spouse's language so that he will not feel unloved.

I made sure that how tired I was, whenever he started complaining about getting bored eating outside, I drank the whole cup of coffee to stay alert and start dinner. I gave him a massage once a while when he complained about the backache. I sometimes offer to bank in his cheques. Once I took leave and send his car for service first thing in the morning.

With children under 5, it is easy, speak all the five love languages and they will love it. The primary language will start appearing and you'll notice it. Through out life, the primary language can change.

Go read the book.