The Anniversary Card

I gave up trying to attach the scanned card to this blog.

Decide to write them instead.

10 REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU (with a heart drawn instead of writing "LOVE")

1.You are my chattin partner. I can talk about anything with you.

2. You understand me the most.

3.You pandai ambik hati orang tua.

4. You always think of me when eating something special / visiting a new place (e.g. Pulau Sentosa Safari)

5. You're a good mother. Alaywas accentuating the positive with Azam Zikry.

6. You're creative. Design your own clothes/hair.

7. You are patient with me, when I am sometimes very stubborn.

8. YOu tend to like the things I like, and dislike what I dislike (e.g. CSI, Sentra)

9. We can share great experiences together (e.g. LP52, Kinabalu)

10. You make me a happy man!

HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY LOVE!

signed AZmady and then crossed then abang 21 Dec 2006 (with 21 highlighted)

Long Friday Lunch

We get 2.5 hours for Lunch on Friday.

Long enough to take my foot to the Mall and swipe the cards on apparel and cosmetics.

However, I have found other things to do other than driving to the crowded Mall with parking oh-so-hard-to-get and coming back with few hundreds gone from my account. Here they are:

1. I could write to the store manager about the store assistant/ customer service or whomever has helped me with something. If I could write complaint letter, why shouldn't I spend some time writing appreciations? Place the letter in outgoing trays and coming Monday, that person is on top of his/her world praised by the boss.

2. I could take some scrub, mask and hot water, do an own-facial at the office. The men will go out for prayers, most the ladies are heading the mall, I have the whole office by myself! (and some good friends too!)

3. I could meet up with some long lost friends at any eatery and talk, talk, talk.

4. I, of course, get to use the Streamyx pc all by myself and blog, blog, blog.

5. Time to sort out the paid bills and to-be-paid.

6. Time to cut the hair-do or make-up I like inside my 'beauty section' scrap book.

What are yours?

Long, Longer!

a MALE friend was complaining about how long my blog is and how techical the words are (and his choice of words on his mini-car is not? duhh!).

I guess girls' blogs are long and very very descriptive. Whilst the boys try to keep them simple.

To az95, wait until you read some of the my girls' blogs. They are long, longer when they write about the kids, much longer when they write about the mom in laws! Ha ha (cynically laughing while sipping my cofee the Kakak made which simply the best in the world, hey you would say so too after listening to the suppliers from Europe or Australia or Hong Kong about the coffee. One thing they vividly remember about my office is the nice coffee, not too bitter, not too sweet.. Some even say that the Kakak is their favorite girl, I mean, hey.. look at my new hair-do, doesn't that make ME your favorite woman to see over at the office..?  Those who dropped by twice a year always comment on the different hairstyle I have everytime they drop by, one time it was long and straight, another was long and wavy, another was tiny permed with extra highlight, last month it was short and black, now it is short, curly and higlighted!!! oh that remind me the coming Raya Haji, it would end up with me staying home, i mean, how could I go out and meet all the elderlies with my hair higlighted! I think the A Cut Above highlighted it too light. Both the husband and I got the same two colors but turned out to be that the highlights in mine are much much more than his. Wonder whether I should pay them a visit again, but the stylist was nice, he cut husband's hair for free)

See how the coffee story goes?!

I rest my case.

Just the Way You Look Tonight

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

Movies I Want to See

I am a fan of Afdlin Shauki.

Not the fact that he is an LP, (yes, that too), I feel that he is one different guy who made his dreams a commitment, in other words, he is committed to making his dreams come alive. His OWN dreams.

And all the dreams are nicely portrayed in the movies, I think, which I never get to see at all! First it was BULI that I missed, then the BULI BALIK, then I just feel that I just have to catch this currently screened BAIK PUNYA CILOK. But, I can't hardly find time to drop by at the cinema nowadays. However, to show how much do I support him and his work, I think I am going to book two tickets on this Tuesday, and if we didn't get to see, at least I feel better than my two tickets will contribute to his soon-to-be Blockbuster Movie.

I am not going to miss making a difference in this one extraordinary Malay chap.

Told Ja, I am The Brain!

Ida and Murali have been requesting the insurance for the same shipment twice. With the different excel files maintained in two separate PCs, can't blame them for that!

I therefore have revamped the Access.db. They now can just open and see whether that shipment has been insured, and click "Print Today" then the request note can be printed.

Was, however, having a problem of rounding up numbers to the next million. Round([Number],2) can only rounding up 6,231,123.67 to 6,231,124.00 where what I wanted was only 6.2 million.

Reckying around, thinking hard when I decided to first divide the [Number] with 1 million then rounding up to two decimal points then mulptiply that with 1 million back.

This goes: Round(([Number]/1000000),2)*1000000.

What a smart ass!!

My 3rd Wedding Anniversary

I spent the Tuesday evening shopping for the perfect gift for the dear husband. Yes, I gave the new hair-do but just feel like that should be a present wrapped in a good paper with a card written with romantic words should come on the day. I ended up buying a blue tooth headset, after reckying around and bargaining for the best price. Tried some nice words so that I could get more discount but the bargaining stops at 220.

We woke up on the 21st with the baby slept terkangkang in between us, so we forgo the idea smooching up. We drove separately to work and I dropped the gift into his car. He romantically informed that the presents he bought is not yet wrapped, which I could find in the glove compartment. In the jam, I browse through of what he bought: two magazines, one fiction (that I have read!), one mgmt book, an Enya CD and I saw a card. All prices are nicely tagged to each items. I didn't dare looking at the card, I might end up have to be filling up the card for him!!

But he did write so many nice things inside the card that I managed to peek during lunch! I was in the AIR!!!! Will scan that and upload to the blog.

He then got home later than me, with a pair of Yoga pants and top from Elle (luckily those fit). (Since I was not allowed to write any of the humpy pumpy stories anymore, here dot dot dot hapenned). Then he got me to Windmill for a candle lite dinner. I wore that sexy purple skirt with a tube top and a wool wrap cum blouse kinda thing that I bought specially for the date.

The food was nice. The ambient temperature of the setting is slightly low. We talked on going to Singapore Night Safari when AZ reached his second birthday. For now, that's the only future thing that I could foresee.

That was how the 3rd wedding anniversary went.

Holding On to the Number

You know that 8TV Desperate Housewives is one season earlier than 70
Astro's.

I was watching 8TV last week, where it ended with Bree getting a call
from the Hospital saying that Rex has passed away. I was hoping that
call will just be a prank call, that Rex was just testing whether she'll
confess on feeding him potassium (which is poisonous to him). I was SO
hoping that this week's episode will tell me on how Rex will be
clarified on who actually poisoned him with potassioum. I mean, he could
NOT die without knowing the truth, could he?

The next day of that episode last week, Roslan passed away. Again,
hopeful I was that the call was just a prank call, that he'll be there
smiling at his pelamin when we go attending his wedding this week. That
he'll be still sending me emails of jokes this week. That we'll be
visiting his wife at SJMC when they got they first baby. I mean, he
could NOT die without firstly marrying the girl of his dream, could he?

Thing is, they could.

As I re-watched the episode at 70 Astro's, and patiently waited for
8TV's, hopeful I was again that Rex will still come back. That Bree will
be so mad to the caller but smiling gleefully at the end. (then how
pissed was I finding that 8TV this week season was simply not available!!!).

As I spring cleaned my Contact in the Microsoft Outlook while sync'ing
it to my PDA, I saw Roslan's old number which I know by heart 019 359
4246 (since it was like similarly mine 019 359 9464) and hesitated to
delete it. I looked again, then decide to hold on to. Closed Microsoft
Outlook. Then in a split of second, I opened it again, scrolled down to
"L", found Lan and deleting I was. It then asked me again, 'Empty the
Deleted Items?', I rushingly clicked yes, knowing that if I stopped to
think, I won't do it, then walked out from my workstation to the pantry
where I gulped down one mug of coffee with extra sugar.

Deep inside I know the sweetness won't wash the bitter memory away.

Where Have I Been?

An email I wrote to the circle of my uni-girls, just couldn't find the energy to write again.. ( but I do the typo check, though

Korang, sorry for the long silence.. Since late roslan passed away , i've been in and out from the office... tak sempat nak check email.. or shall I say, I just couldn't find time to organize my tot and pen down what am i feeling inside....

SATU pasal Lan... sorry, lambat cerita.. tapi aku betul betul terkejut masa tahu tu... baru pagi selasa tu aku called dia , sebab member aku kena pergi kursus, nampak ada nama dia kene pergi jugak, then aku called lan tanya dia tak pi ke, dia kata dia kene gi PD. (ye ajiji?) tup tup pagi khamis meninggal...!!
petang rabu tu, lepas dia gi ambik tunang dia nak gi makan.. pastu masa makan tu su, tunang dia perasan dia minum ais banyak, pastu dia keluarkan duit, su tanya pasal ape sikit sangat, dia jawab, eleh nak bawak gi mana pun duit banyak banyak... then dia balik rumah mak dia, mak dia kata senyap je main UNO ngan adik dia tak de bising bising....
then dia supposednye balik condo dia beli kat somewhere at desa water park (?) jalan kelang lama.... aku memang tahu dia beli condo kat situ, sebab nak kawin kan... then dia tak balik condo dia, dia gi rumah mak mentua (bakal, i mean) kat putrajaya.. dia kata kat depa dia nak tidur situ..... around 11:00 gitu adik sue ckp lah pasal ape abang lan tidur bising sangat berdengkur, dia siap cakap, jovially lagi, 'sorry!'.. cam tu lah..
dlm one o clock gitu, tunang dia terbangun nak pi bilik air nampak dada dia berombak ombak.. pastu bile tanya kenapa, dia dah tak leh nak jawab dah.. terus tunang dia ajar mengucap (strong girl budak tu, kalau aku tak tahu lah panick kot), 1:15 tu meninggal, macam tu je....!! in a split of second.......
aku dapat missed call dari hp dia dlm 3:30 gitu.. tapi ingat ke dia terdial..rupanya su yang call all the kawan kawan.. sebab masa malam tu, sebelum masuk tidur, dia siap bagi kunci rumah, kunci pendua kereta dengan tunjuk handhphone dia , all the list nama kawan kawan dia... dia kata ape ape jadi, call lah diorang ni... so su called all the friends lah, all the As first tapi aisha je lah bodoh tak angkat phone pagi pagi tu.. aidil, alice (budak kapar), azmi (budak nets)..
cuma abang zul je tak dapat nak call. then sue called aku again dalam 7:30 suruh mintak tolong cari kan no abang zul... aku call abang zul, dia dgn kak niza tengah kat kelantan, menagnis kejap abang zul kat telefon... dia kata dia baru jumpa lan, tak de ape pun....!
masa aku sampai rumah makcik dia kat kg medan tu, dah bawak balik dari post mortem putrajaya dah... result post mortem kata ada mucus dalam lung and blood test kata heart problem.. aku tak berani ckp ape dysfunctional dulu, lung ke heart.....
then kitorang tunggu kapan and bawak gi masjid, bulat is one of those yang usung keranda ... kat masjid, depa tunggu zuhur, baru sembahyang jenazah.. masa tu baru aku nampak su tu, terus su tu datang aku peluk aku.. masa tu sebenarnye aku dah tak sedih dah, tapi bile su cakap, 'kak aishah kitorang ni membilang hari je kak!", terus aku pun terasa lembek jugak kat situ...
aku menyesal sebab masa minggu lepas tu, lan nak sangat datang rumah aku ngan mady tapi ye lah, aku pun macam elak elak nak jumpa dia.. dia nak pass aku invitation card (dia nak kawin this 25th kat kelantan), aku suruh dia post or pass kat orang, dia ckp dia nak jumpa aku... !
semua budak nets aku ada... all the boys kecuali mady (sebab ada kerja kat teluk panglima garang) and a few yang kerja kat taiping, rawang... pastu diorang tanya aku, shah kau ingat tak sape yang jadi model masa kita belajar mandi kapan semayang jenazah masa kat OBS, masa tu baru aku ingat, Lan lah model nye.. tak sangka, we got to semayang jenazah yang betul untuk dia..
some chinese and indians came over too, to the masjid.. tunggu diorang sembahyang semua.... aku cam was kinda mad to myself sebab tak nak jumpa dia masa dia nak pass me the wedding card.... padahal nye waktu aku NETS dulu, when i was down, he had always been there.. he had always talked me out bile aku rasa aku useless... can't do a few things, he made me see that tak kisah lah orang tak nak ckp ngan aku pun, he still feel that i was the good person, that I was still a good friend, that money doesn't buy friendship..
ntah, tak boleh nak tulis pepanjang sini.... NETS was not really a good memory for me... but Lan,was he there for me! masa aku nak choose between nizam or mady pun, he was the one who pulled me thru! and I can't even time to find time to share his happiness of the wedding!!!! truth is, memang ada mende jadi.. jiji pun tahu, Lan tu kan biasa cepat marah sket.... and I let my anger came in between the friendship...
sebab aku bengang ngan dia, aku lupe all the good memories he made out of the NETS7 bad memory... and chose to back away from the friendship instead... now he's gone.. macammana aku nak buat so that he knew how sorry I was to back away from the friendship? i can't, can I? where 've I been when he wanted to share a bit of his happiness for the wedding? or shall i say when he really wanted to see me, mady and azam zikry, the final one, before he goes, for good?

DUA then about nary... this is the girl whom nangis nangis kat aku masa tak tahu nak pilih EE or BCM dulu... my roomate masa kat US... and she is in the middle of her life bad experience, where 've I been? sebab ada sekali aku jumpa dia, and dia terus cakap aku gemuk, sejak dari tu aku malas nak call dia lagi.. and i let her be alone masa tengah sedih sedih pasal mus sakit... tengah risau risau pasal anak-anak dia, never bother to call, sebab kut kut dia fire aku gemuk lagi.... padahalnya niat ada dalam hati nak call....
since when aku slalu biar perasaan sakit hati tu stand in the middle of one of the most fun friendship I had had? nary was alone, kalau tak kerana dia sms kita her new phone number, tak de orang tahu the problem the family is facing.... kalau dia tak start bukak cerita macammana nak pagar rumah... tak de orang tahu pasal dia... ntah ntah masa aku jumpe dia masa dia ckp aku gemuk tu pun dia dah start tahu yang mus sakit...
masa aku tulis ni, the tears are running down my cheek.. like i say, i just couldn't find time to pen down things.... it's just taking my energy to really feel what am i feeling inside, how regretful i was for not seeing Lan.... for not checking up on Nary... ordinary friends who seemed small to me NOW despite the big things they have done to me, whom I couln't be bothered to spend a few minutes of my many many minutes in the life, seeing or talking to....
how easy aisha has been taking things...
pen off, aisha

Ifs

A friend passed away this morning. I was writing about how did I know
him, things that we have helped each other, things that we've been
through together, the oppinions he offered on the guys I was dumping or
trying to date, girls who have crushes on him. He is such a good friend
that if he'd ask me to go and help him stuck in the middle of the
Federal Highway at 3:00 a.m., I'd go (in fact, I did).
Then I thought of that one incident that strain the friendship,
suddenly, I stopped writing.
Yeah we made up after that one incident, but it has deterred the
friendship. It has brought me and him way apart from each other, where
else we used to send each other jokes via SMSes.
He recently called trying to see me and passing me his wedding
invitation card (yup, he passed away then days before the big day).
Having the weekends filled up with family obligation, I nicely talked to
him about mailing the cards. Doesn't a groom got lots to think and do
that he should let Pos Malaysia does things for him? Then he warmly
insisted of seeing me and the rest of the gang, after all, we have not
been seeing each other for so long, albeit the busy busy days he is
facing. I somehow managed to make him pass the card thru another
friend. Received that yesterday.
My phone rang again on the way to work, it was his number, the
bride-to-be called me crying which from I got the whole story. He
stayed alone, in the new condominium he bought himself. Last night, he
went back to the mom's, then showed up un-expectedly at the fiancee's
place without calling. He said he just feel like spending the night
over, and who thought that was the final night of his life. At 1 a.m.,
he had this chest pain, they took him to the hospital and he was
pronounced dead. At the point of this blog is written, he is undergoing
a post mortem.
Then there I was, driving thru Federal Highway to work with tears in my
cheek, feeling so bad of not abiding his final wish to me as a friend,
i.e. just to see me. How could I have NOT noticed?
I then resumed the final task as a friend, calling anyone that I could
remember, cutting the story short (it was not really nice for the rest
of the world to know that he spent the final night at his fiancee's, our
culture doesn't allow man and woman without marriage be together in the
same house, no matter how tragically romantic I think it is).
I can't help but feeling miserably sad. If only that I have spent one
hour of my full two weekend-days to see him, if only I could have put
the thing that strained our friendship away, if... if.... Yes, life is
full of ifs. I thought I am the one who lives my life trying each new
adventure, afraid to wake up one day saying "If only I...". The fact is,
in the pursuit of all the new adventures, I have tend to make my anger
overrules a simple friendship who has nurtured

What Can I Do Now

My name is Azam Zikry. I am 1 year 2months and here is the list of things I can do now.

When Mommy carries me and says, "Manja Mommy!", I'll put my head on her chest. She loves it!

The other day mommy was telling daddy that I could be having a headache and the moment I heard she said "Kepala", I went and touched my head! They went thrilled!

"Mana mata?", then I'll show my eyes while squirting them smaller.

"Mana telinga?" then I will have my left pointing finger into my left ear.

"Mana hidung?", same goes, the left pointing finger will go straight into my nostril.

"Mana mulut?", I'll stick my tongue out a bit and rub my left palm over the lips and tongue continuously until someone says,

"Mana pipi?", then I put the left palm over my left ear where the edge of the palm will touch the cheek, a bit.

"Mana Azam Zikry?", then I put both of my palms over my eyes for a moment, then slowly take them out, enlarging my eyes and say, "Aaaahhhh".

"Siapa nama Azam Zikry sini?", then I will quickly raise my left arm up, up to the sky. I'll do that again when they say, "Siapa budak pandai sini?", "Siapa budak baik sini?", "Siapa Siti Nurhaliza sini?".

"Knock the glass window for me, please?", requests my Mommy when we are in the car and me, with the smallest knuckles available in the car, will go nearer to the window and knock! Fooh.. am I smart or supersmart or what?

When the adults are eating at the dining table, I'll go and say "nnaaaakkk!", so softly that they don't have the heart to turn me down. Daddy said that is my first real word.

I'll look up when Mommy asks, "Where's the moon?", "Mana kipas?".

The best thing I do, mommy thinks, is when she says, "Kiss Mommy", then I will lean forward (craw if she's lying down on the floor), kiss her cheek while saying, "Mmmmm uahhhhh". That will just make her day!!

What A Week!

What a week and how thin has my patience grew.

Sunday.
After the MPH tour, AZ face was turning red and I placed my hand on his forehead. Slightly warm. It gets warmer starting from 7:00 pm something. At night, he woke up crying. We sponged him, fed him Paracetamol which he gulped without much resistance. Good boy!

Monday:
His temperature coming up and down.  We came back, after mommy concluding the meeting with problematic Supplier-Wanna-Bee-who-has-walloped-the org-money and took him straight to Clinic, seeing Dr. Rahman who has obviously been working out at the gym! (I mean, from skinny to built, it must be the gym!)
Mind was distrurbed when Head of Unit called to set a meeting on Monday to discuss MizAnoi's Job Description.
AZ slept half awakely thru the night. The antibiotic and paracetamol were not working, obviously. We then use that Rectal Paracetamol. Negative, too. The fever was still high.

Tuesday:
Sent him over to K Endon's with very heavy heart. It was very hot, K Endon's said, at around 12:00 noon and she sponged him with AloeVera mix.Picked him up late evening with the same temperature. We then brought him to the clinic and was given a referal letter. Night was still spent sponging him.

Wednesday:
Had a very heaty meeting with Boss No 2 and Boss no 3 together with MizAnoi discussing her JD. Boss No 2 was looking for a way to off-load some of the operation people's burden. She bluntly refused to do ERMS postings, saying that the analysis job is getting larger and larger. I broke down, big time, after the meeting eventhough managed to put a smile through out the meeting.
Dear hubby went and got the GL from dispensary. I took half day off pm and went to pick AZ up to see Dr Ali Azman. The ever handsome Dr Sanjay Woodhull is apparently on study leave. AZ was happy playing at the mini playground at Floor 6 and behaved nicely went we into Dr. Ali's room. Dr Ali checked his tummy and with a ta-da declared that it was the tummy problem that caused the temperature to be up and down. Was given another antibiotic and also colimix.

Thursday:
Sobrock and INI chose to comfort me on yesterday's meeting when we were on the way to Kapar. Then, K Endon frantically called me at around 10:00  saying that there small red spots started appearing on his face. Both Hubby and me rushed home and brought him again to Dr. Ali. As soon as he saw me, he started putting up his weird act, screaming like he is in great agony. He refused to be carried, then when I put him down, he tossed around on the carpet, begging me to pick him up. He drew attention and people started asking, "Kenapa dia kak?". Hey if I know, wouldn't I have been resolving the roots and you don't have to see him crying? His cried his tears out that could be more than his accumulated tears since he was born. Patience was really getting thin. Dr. Ali said it was just normal for baby to getting that smallred spots when the body is coming down from a very high temperature. I bought that.
Journey back home was one long one, he kicked and screamed continuously in the car. I suggested to dear hubby to send him back to the baby sitter, for I have a tender to be evaluated. Dear hubby volunteered to look after the baby but I knew, it doesn't work that way. I mean, what kind of mother will I be concentrating on the tender evaluation paper while dear hubby wrestles with the crying and screaming baby?? I abide husband's words anyway, surrendering the fact that I have to spend the Friday morning executing the paper within one short hour! Sigh! That's me, when I failed to make the husband see things the way I see, I'll surrender and will figure out in my own brilliant way on how to deal with the mess later. You look at us and you think I am the one who's in control of the marriage? Nay, he's the hard-head one!
We tried putting him to sleep at around 5:00 something. He occasionally woke up and screamed, until he got up at 7:00, screaming still and Daddy bathed him up.  Daddy recited Kursi verses many times (and he did that , too, in the bath! haha) I then has had my time and was deciding to recite Yassin after completing my Maghrib solat until the phone rang. It was K Endon asking how AZ was, guess she was so worried hearing him scream like never before when we called her from SJMC. She suggested that we sent him back to her for at least two hours, saying that he might be throwing tantrums for the eyes of Mommy's. I happily dressed up and to K Endon's we went. He started making happy noises in the car on the way to her house and by the time he saw her, he tried to climb out of Mommy's arm happily.
Dear hubby and me then went out for dinner, went back home for a long shower, gave Apak a call and then we picked him up. He looked very very much settled, happier and made lots of funny acts infront of the girls! I clutched my teeth, sighing, glad though that he is fine. We swooped him and drove home, when he again, playing happily with Arris. Hmm. Azam Zikry hai Azam Zikry... why were you making Mommy so miserable and sad? Did you know that at times (when you screamed frantically) I feel like I am a bad mother for not knowing how to calm you down, sayang? Jangan buat macam ni lagi tau, risau Mommy!!
By the time he was asleep, I was too tired to do my paper.

Friday:
He woke up with spots getting all over the body but he slept the night thru and I couldn't feel more than glad. We sent him, and he waved with a smile. That just made my day! I spent the first two hours at work working on the paper and running around for figures like a mad woman, but that smile of his really made me go thru the day. At around 9:30, the paper was ready and submitted to MD, Boss No 1 to be signed and approved. I then chased another two Senior Managers to sign. Glad that the paper was a done deal, AZ is back to normal, and the sun, I realized, was bright again.
Thought of rewarding myself, then followed the girls to MidValley where I got myself a dress!

The Trip

24th Thursday

We took off early morning, met his parents for breakfast at Rawang where they served SUPER-DELICIOUS tosei. I had two, the chatney was nice. We went on further up north and stopped at Bukit Gantang for lunch. Little AZ was having his 2-hour-afternoon-nap when we stopped by. So Daddy went and ate first with the rest of the gang while Mommy stayed in the car reading book. Then we swapped.
Stopped at Taiping to visit Tok Su's. Then continued the journey to Parit Buntar. Arrived Tuk's place before Maghrib and bathed AZ. Was happy to see Tuk. Mama cook dinner and we had family meal at 8:00 something, with me scratching the legs bitten by mosquitoes.
(wow writing it now seems so simple, I had mental notes to blog on how much did I fight for a peaceful journey with AZ moving around the car like a lion trapped in a small cage!)

25th Friday

Morning:
We were up late and Mama chased us into the cars without visiting the nearby Mak Ngah and Mak Teh. It's her in laws by the way, I couldn't bother. Was reserving this one nice piece of shirt for AZ to wear for the visit, carefully took it off in the car.
We took the ferry which routes to were confusing (too much of construction) and berbelit belit. AZ chose no other time to poo-poo but when the car is nicely parked in the Ferry. Daddy took him to bath (and said something about his poo-poo flying around in the loo!) with Mommy waiting outside enjoying the sea breeze. Arrived Penang Island and Papa took us to Penang Road straight away. AZ chose to sleep when we were about to arrive Penang Road. We found parking space, Daddy paid the tickets and both of us bonked with our books (Daddy in his PDA).  He had full two hours nap when Mommy's book started getting boring. Mommy poked his face and lifted him into the stroller to join the rest in the so-called-best-ever Nasi Kandar. I feel that it tastes better in KL. AZ screamed and woke up when we were having lunch.
Noon:
The boys went for Solat Jumaat and Mama and I pushed the stroller to Chowrasta Market to buy some jeruk. When the boys are done, they hit the Yin&Yang boutique which I think is very pricey. They spent nearly RM400, by the way. We went to Batu Feringhi then to check in at Casuarina Hotel. A very run-down place but I chose not to say much. It was Mama that did the booking, how would she feel when the whole vacation was spent listening to us complaining? Told that to dear Husband who gleefully feel glad that his wife is a superb one.
Took AZ right away to the beach which the wave has somehow frightened him. We then took him to kiddie pool instead which he hesitated to love. We first splashed the water around and when the cold water hits his first, he gave us his first grin-to-ear smile. Then the little palms can't just stop splashing the water. He pretended jumping into the water (into Daddy's arm, as a matter of fact) and laughed all the way. I handed him over to Mama to take a dip at the 9ft deep pool. Had a few laps but was too tired then.
Night:
We went to Esplanade which has been moved temporarily. Few dishes were on the tables: laksa, kuey-teow, sotong bakar, sotong kangkung, prawn mee, rojak buah, ice kacang, fried oyster (what?). Was half full when I saw people selling Pork Intestines Satay and my tummy decided to feel weird. Came back to the hotel with AZ asleep, changed him and fed him and dozing he went again. Mama came to our room to look after him sleeping and we went out to Batu Feringhi night stalls.
Dear hubby found a Man-Utd jersey with a matching kiddie size. Swooped those. I found white flair beach pants and nice t-shirt (with the smallest imitation logo I could find). Swopped those too. Dear hubby splurged one some DVDs. Then back to the hotel.

26th Saturday

Woke up and Dear Hubby reminded on how the night went without him getting laid. I screamed, "Then why, do you think,  I asked you to move the baby to sleep on the floor last night?". Felt like I won! We however teased each other all the way to breakfast and to the beach.

AZ was still frightened by the wave. Funny to see how the he walked on the sandy beach. He moved one foott up while the foot was loosely on the ground.We first get him seated on the sand, which he refused and firmly sat on Daddy's lap.  Then we taught him how to play with the sand with the new sand-set Mommy swooped at the night stall. When he finally was happy with the sand, Daddy moved him out from the lap and he couldn't be bothered. We hid all his toes inside the sand and he grinned. We built simple castle, he swooshed them down and he grinned, wider. Daddy then took him for a quick dip in the pool.  We went up, Mommy bathed him up cleaning all the sands in between his legs, dressed him in new clothes and prepared a bowl of cereal. Mommy then passed AZ to Tuk next door to be fed. We quickly went inside the bathroom to have a quickie but then, deciding that the floor was too cold, had it in bed after locking the connecting door. Who need foreplay when the whole weekend was already been filled with teasing? It was fast but rather explosive and satisfying!! Mommy's went thumb up with the other palm on her mouth!! (the deaf way of saying OhMiGod!)

Noon:
Checked out and found out that the car battery was dead. We jump started the poor fellow and looked for a mechanic. Slept in the car while the mechanic fixed the battery. AZ was outside, playing with Tuk Wan and the uncles. When the car was finally ready, we drove again to Penang Road where AZ chose to sleep, again! We paid the parking ticket, read our books (oh God, Mommy's was a boring one!) when he finally woke up. Was a bit grumpy, wanting to be in Mommy's arm all the while Mommy's having murtabak until Tuk came and carried him away.
We hit the road after that, planning to take the bridge but never could find the road out from Georgetown. Since the Jetty was nearby, we again took the Ferry which AZ enjoyed walking in between the bikes.

Late Evening.
Arrived at Tuk's after stopping by at Pak Din's house at Bukit Mertajam.

Sunday:

Heading home. Met Apak,Mak and Alang (who had just coming back from sending Yan to Uniten) at the Restoran Jejantas of Sungai Buluh R&R. Bought them a Smartag and topped their Touch'n'Go of RM100. Least that I could do!

Back to Normal, the Rich Kinda Normal

The rain has piled up the laundry post-Penang-trip with the current ones. I spent the whole day yesterday (while watching HBO) re-heating the clothes outside and did another round today. The final pile is currently infront of me when I decided to blog, feeling that the life is back to normal! Fooh!

Yes, it has not been that normal. Have not been cooking proper food since the Penang-trip. Eating out at good places,tho, but missing husband's great tomyam, hot-and-lembek home cooked rice.

AZ is upstairs, sleeping. I sensed fever since we parked the car at the Basement2 of MidValley at 10:45 this morning. (If you think we were that early, you should hear my Perfect Hubby screamed seeing I was still bare at 10:00!). He didn't eat much this weekend.

But running he was in between the books rack at MPH. God, he loves it! He ran thru Romance then took me running too to Business Reading then through the Teen Reading. Then after Daddy went to see some friends playing Magic at MVEC, we settled down near the Toddler's reading and he arranged and re-arranged board books while Mommy picked up the best for him. He picked the little chunkies, placed them in the stroller and at the count of 6th book or so, he picked them up again from the stroller to another section of the racks. Sleek! We then went to the Toddler's where they have some Malay board books, and now, he picked the books and arranged them on top of each other in the middle of the aisle. We didn't get to buy anything though since Mommy felt that he needed change and some milk.

We strolled to the Jusco (where else, dude?) and Mommy was so relieved since it was at the same floor with MPH's (yup, mommy still had that seriously sick feeling getting the stroller down thru the escalator!). Freshly changed and contentedly full, AZ dozed off in his stroller in between the MNG and M.A.C, when Daddy called for Lunch. We decided to go to ever-full-during-lunch Food Court. We were eyeing for table when we spotted two long tables where people are eating and almost finishing. Hated doing so but hey, I gotta take the seats too, people. Perfect Hubby was standing across the walkingpath and I was at the other side. My side was almost finishing when suddenly, a Malay family obnoxiously came and got themselves seated! Cool eh, seeing the whole family taking up the whole long table without even sparing two spaces for me and hubby. I just felt like buying a bowl of hot soup and walked pass them, spilling the soup (which of course I have sprinkled cut cili padi) on top of each one of the heads!!!

We found seat, however, and with AZ still sleeping, Daddy went to buy Nasi for him and YongTowFoo for Mommy. After that, when AZ was finally awake, we brought him to see the Iguanas at the Pets' Store and the final journey was to the MPH. We bought Board books for AZ:

ABC Huruf Besar
Numbers
Nursery Rhymes
(and all those three are as big as your palm)
and one big Leo's Safari with glittering colors

Mommy, then feeling rich, swooped herself
the devil wears prada by Lauren Weisberger
tales from the arabian nights (yes, classics are the cheapest across the store)
and one
SHIFT Inside Nissan's Historic Revival

All those books made me feel rich!!

End of the journal for today.

Brother Arris has finished his finals and currently opted to stay with us for his practical. I was folding his shirt when I found one with black stains at the front side. He told me about the little accident he had, showing me the scratches on his knees but looking at the black stains, I suddenly feel the sharp pain in tummy. Can't help but being a protective big sister, can I?

walk the talk

If you are a motivational speaker , hear me out loud, please
If you are a trainer in training to become another movitational
speaker, heat me out loud, too, please.
If you ever ever think of being a motivational speaker, then think, think, think!

You see, many people are born with the gifts of the gab. Cakap banyak,organized, funny, can convince people to do stuffs, and they decided, hey.. why don't I be someone who can can motivate people. Fair enough, you may change the world with your gift. You conducts several sessions, and people always walk out from the seminar room of yours feeling like at the top of the world. You, too, feeling high, talk loftily on how many lives have you touched, have you changed. You then come back and
touch the others' lives too.

But make sure you talk and then you walk your talk.This is not one job where you can leave the uniform when you have reached home.

Don't get me wrong, I am so into these sort of CHANGES. Gung-Ho is my favorite (or shall I say, 'was'). Am trying each nights on how to intelligently use 'Whale-Done' on my 1 year old. 'SOURCING POSITIVE ENERGIES' are my main key search at Mr Google. R Covey's are my favorite books, so does 'HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE'.

There are teachers in this new era of teaching/belief/management skills/ whatever you wanna call them. True enough, when I remember the teaching, the faces of the teachers come across much often. And these faces, by God, these faces better not fail me.

One has. She does exactly 180 degrees from the teaching. I just couldn't find words to describe how it breaks my heart, the person who influence the top management on the teaching of XXX is the one who does exactly the opposite. You see, how positive she was has made her being promoted and she leads now an unit full of passionate and talented people. They are smart, they are committed to the work, and they LOVE what they do.

These are the people that she fails to lead to a greater height.

People are now being suspicious to each other. They don't work as a team any more. No sense of belonging, no pride in working. Like one writes, it is just a plain work.

She, has successfully backfired herself.

I know that she is just a plain human. Turning evil is not her fault, she may said. But responsibility shall remain. You must talk responsibly or choose not to talk at all. For it is one uniform you can't take off.

Sporting Wifey Went Out Station

After a bad purging day on Monday, I came back to work this morning with some bells ringing in my ears. The finance was screaming on the ERMS data key in when bosses suddenly dragged me to Lumut for the operating meeting! Oh shoot, how could have I forgotten?!!! I then packed the stuffs, down I ran to SobRock’s car heading to Lumut.
 
I however managed to SMS dear hubby after we were stopped by the speedtrap (yes, we kena!) that I am going to Lumut for a 2:30 meeting. Meeting will finish around 5:00, AND I’ll be safely home not earlier than 8:00 p.m., forgetting that Tuesday is Dear Hubby’s bowling league night.  I got bogus immediately, big PANIC attack. How could I forget that it is his Night and I was supposed to play Sporting Wifey when suddenly I remembered that this is work related. That I have been doing the same if it is his WORK. That this is the give-and-take thing we gotta compromise having only one car around.

We reached KL at 10:00. Brother picked me up at the office gate, went back home and both man and the son were sound asleep.

My First Futsal Team

Team was formed in 2003. I played defense most of the time. Our goallie was an auntie (Kak Nor) but God, was she good!

Team was formed for a friendly match with Transpro. We won another match before Transpro's but kalah teruk with Transpro's.

We then stopped playing after that, some got pregnant (me, too) and never continued. But the recent screening of Gol n Gincu did take me back to the memory lane.



Thing is, I was never good in sport. Was in the Karate team before but I excelled in Kata and just Kata. People thought I was very sporty, but it was another way 'round. Was never in the running team during sekolah rendah (eventhough I went for try outs), then went to a sekolah agam for secondary, of course, no girls are allowed to participate in the track event representing the schools. I was never into netball, sucked at volleyball (did play once during after SRP between classes match), hardly win any when representing rumah biru for Ping Pong tournament.

And the futsal is one. It's true, that when your team scored, the feeling is like the top of the world.

One of my time of the life. Just that.

Second Time Perming

The First Time I Permed It

Just Married

Picture Taken in 2002.

Our Old Sentra

Fella now is in the Tan Chong Workshop over Puchong. Got her written off, waiting for the cheque and the new car eventually.

GartBlue is Back

Gartblue has just converted to blogspot. Go click

http://lothloriendor.blogspot.com/ and you may say how relax my life is! :)

She revealed just that after a few grunts I made of her many-days and dead modblog. She tot no one read hers!

And brushing off the opportunity to laugh at the running-around life she has?

Big NO WAY!

(my time will come soon, soon, soon)

The Rapshody Valley

Was at MidValley during lunch, bosses were looking for 1GB memory card for PDAs and me was simply tagging to have a very sumptious lunch over Little Penang (hey I need that after all the pain I endured during that long Management Meeting!)

KZU had a bowl of curry laksa and me, the Lum Mee which is basically a mee soup with some shredded chicken. I just love the noodles with green cut chillies.

While they were browsing at IT World, I stopped by ath the Raphsody Valley nearby. Was actually looking for an adaptor for my Casio but was not really sure was it the adaptor that was broke or was it the keyboard itself. The salesman was trying to sell off their keyboards, think I what, stupid eh?

However was browsing the other instruments. Have the feeling that it's time for me to start trying new instruments.
First, the guitar. Besides F, D and G, I could never find the time to strum another chord.
Or, could it be the violin?
Or, could it be the bass guitar?
Or could it be the drum set?
I will, I will definitely try playing another. Let's have that as one goal to be completed before I turn 35 eh?

Oh oh oh.... found the guitar for kid and it was so darn cute! The size is small for one and the strings are not made from the usual stuffs they made guitar string, is a bit friendly to baby's soft skin. Can't wait for Azam Zikry's fourth birthday!

Clipperseep is listening to:Shania Twain

The Right Daddy

We got back quite early from work, went to K Endon’s and Azam Zikry has just finished his evening shower. Hmm.. does he smell good after bath. We then fed him the new Wheat plus Vegie Nestum that EMA gave at K Endon’s and then had our cuppas. We got back and Daddy lay on the floor, dozing off. Mommy then dragged Azam Zikry’s hands to the kitchen and started slicing the beef. He then got bored and started screaming, finally waking Daddy up. Daddy then continued the cooking work while Mommy ran upstairs with Azam Zikry and had quick shower while peek-a-booing with Azam Zikry in his cot. When we got down, Daddy had finished cooking his extra-ordinary okra with ketchup and eggs and we had our dinner together. Then Mommy decided that it was time to bring him since he has been scratching his eyes many many times when Daddy said that he should stay downstairs longer because Daddy hadn’t find time to play.

And he did just that!

I think it is very sweet of him to find time to play with the baby each day. Well, he didn’t have to bath him up, he knew well that I can do that, but he has been the one who does the splash thing because he knows that is the play-time. He took the trouble of undressing Azam Zikry (and himself) and laughed and played with him in the bathroom.

I have no doubt that Azam Zikry is showered and will be continuously showered with his love and attention. For that, bravo to me for choosing the right husband to father my child.

Clipperseep is listening to : Blame It On the Rain by Milli Vanilli at Channel V, reminded her of Yuza, a good friend who was crazy for Milli Vanilli and one crazy-headed girl herself!

Getting Social?

Weekend was very hectic.

We spent early Saturday packing for the coming events. Starting with Fakri's open house, Azam Zikry was being charming as always, smiling to anyone he could. Then we drove to Uncle Sharifuddin's Gasing Height and the double penthouse large windows was Azam Zikry's main attraction for the day. We then drove straight to Alamanda for the bowling tournament. Dear hubby swooped the third place and our group was the second best. We won RM50 Parkson voucher each for the group and he won RM80 for the individual score. Dear hubby agreed to split all the voucher amount equally (yay!). We headed then to Syahir's open house which cook the best Nasi Ayam around. Next stop was mama's place.

Due to that heavy downpour, we slept over at Bangi with me being very very careful on the numbers of diapers I changed Azam Zikry. We then woke up and drove back to home after breakfast with Azam Zikry in his final diaper. Finally made home safely! And he poo-pooed just half hour when we arrived home! Fooh!

At noon we made the trip to Rasah, to see Imran and his parents.

Imran was basically the same small-sized baby but mine, was he so playful!! He went up and down the couch, grabbing all the toys he could while bigger-sized Azam Zikry looked. I wonder what was in Azam Zikry's mind when he stared at Imran playing host. Azam Zikry was almost in tears every other minutes, could probably caused by the very little nap he had in the car or Imran being a very much lasak big brother or both! He cried when Imran grabbed the toy in his hand, he cried when Imran grabbed his shirt and he stood helplessly when Imran was toying around him. At one point of time, he actually roared back at Imran, with his palm almost touching Imran's forehead.

Was he a grumpy baby!

Mommy, in the other hand, was actually worried to bits seeing Azam Zikry being so insociable (apekejadah word ni!). Imran's baby sitter has a few other kids under her care while Kak Endon has none. That could be the reason. Then mommy started thinking of sending Azam Zikry to preschool kinder, just to get him socializing with other kids. Thinking hard is there such place for a baby 1-year age, Mommy started thinking whether getting a baby sister or brother could solve the problem (and then a loud thunder was heard inside Mommy's head, heh Mommy , you ACTUALLY thought about getting a new one huh?). Mommy still think that umm-ahh kissing he made to people he wanted to kiss is cute but he better be more lasak than he currently is!

Hmmphh!!! The first worry of a mother when a child finally rowing in to the real life!

The Battle with the Zits

The Troy is currently on HBO. Have seen that one, well, Brad Pitt pulled me to. I was never really interested in the Greek’s ancient, except a bit on the Aphrodite, the Zeus and the Poseidon. Never came thru Agememnon before but I guess his character has always been the one who started war, any war in the world. The greed in one’s heart, the face one can’t lose, the sins one can’t forgive, these can lead to many soldiers being murdered by the fake cause they are made to believe, to the war.

For right now, I am having a great battle with the zits. Zits! I never have problems of such since I was 14. I have lived the life as a woman who is always free with zits, of course, one or two small ones came up but it went of easily less than two days.

The battle. It started with one great zit, at the upper left of my forehead. It built up within four very long days, and each day I waited to see tip of the zit, so that I can seize the white thing out which will then end the pain I’ve endured when the skin get tighter and tighter each day.

While I went through each day with this first zit, another one rose proudly at the south west of the First. This one look the same, it went up higher and bigger but the tip was no where to be seen. Then, another small one rose at the right side of my forehead. By this time, I couldn’t hold on to my fingers anymore. I poked the First with the tiniest needle I could find and squeezing I was. After two pokes, nothing came out but blood. No white thing, I agitated!

The Second, however, could tolerate the squeeze. The white thing came out with a pop in front of the mirror and I could not help but feeling like I won! Even I know the scars will stay by all these three and the zits actually have won the war.

However, like King Priam has said, “But even the enemies can show respect”, I religiously applied moisturizer on the area where the zits reside. I feel that the skin will soften and the zits will choose to leave my ever soft and clear forehead. I, then, will stay as perempuan Melayu berdahi licin!

The war, however, can’t stop me from analyzing on why such occurrence. I thought of the way I’ve been handling my face all these since the li’l one arrived.

1. I never found time to go upstairs and wash my face coming back from work. Jacket is thrown off everytime we got home, and to the kitchen I straightly head to.
2. After the Kinabalu peak conquest, I was prescribed as having the sun sensitivity problem, which I thought was originally a panau (fungal infection on your face resulting white spots). Dermatologist Ranjit has prescribed me Cetaphil for cleansing and an EGO SPF 30 for moisturizer. Cetaphil was very mild and my skin always react differently to SPF more than 15.
3. It could be the Make Up For Professional, both the liquid foundation and the powder.
4. It could be the Facial Treatment Essence SK-II, I used that for less than a day before the First one appeared.
5. It could be the hair mousse, I might have touched my forehead after applying them on my long hair. Have solved that by cutting them short.
6. It’s the time of the month.

One of these, combined or not, is definitely the culprit.

I pray hard that this battle will end, soon.

New Hair-Do Doodle a Doo

People!

I had my hair cut short! Really really short. Have you ever seen Meg Ryan in the what angel with Nicolas Cage? Or Charlize Theron in Sweet November? Yes, that short.

Go figure.

Was at Pyramid Lane yesterday for a practice with dear hubby. Decided to walk in to A Cut Above and asked about a short and spa perm. Then the senior stylist was like screaming for me not to cut it short, he said that the curls are too beautiful! (kembang hidung!) then explained about (1) the messy morning, on the mousse I have to apply while juggling with li'l Azam Zikry nappy changing. (2)Desperate for a new style. (3) If I have to spend time applying mousse and treatment, I better spend on the short hair instead of a long ones. After minutes of defending my bold move, he took a look and decided the best style. Called the ever understanding hubby to wait up outside (poor him, while dragging the bowling trolleys). Got a quick wash and within 15 minutes , ta-da, that was the new me! He was actually impressed with the new style, said that it made me look a few years younger! Whatever, but I was already grinning from one ear to another.

Will definitely go back for two tones highlight some other time.

Stopped by at the Loaf Story and bought s'thing for K Endon's kids (for the extra time they took care of AzamZikry while Mommy playing bowling and getting new cut) then couldn't stop staring at the rear view mirror while hubby driving. I do actually look a few years younger! I infact look like a tingkatan 3 girl! (hahaha masuk bakul!)

Clipperseep is listening to: Shania Twain (GOD! I love the violin!)
Clipperseep has read the headline today: Nope!
Moment of day: Waking up this morning, deciding to wash my hair and splooosh, I was ready in less than five minutes! Like I have found freedom once again!

My Childhood Crush

The Star (Focus P29) wrote about Aaron Kwok, a Hong Kong star, being in Ipoh for a movie shot. Then there was just his picture, with a lot of grey hairs, but still looking amazingly handsome like ever.

That reminds me of the crush, write again, BIG CRUSH, I used to have for the Hong Kong star when I was little.

First was Cheung Yeung Fatt, whom Alang had great crush with. He is the first Hong Kong star I ever got introduced to (on TV). His first series was based on the 1950 scenes.

Jacky Chan was of course the most heroic one. Drunken Master was my favorite, because he was annoyingly funny and amazingly fast in the movie. Jet Li was also another kungfu star but he always as mysteriously demuring, as serious as possible. He always win a fight after get beaten so bad, and always walk proudly away from the fight scene with a bleeding forehead and lips.

Then there were Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok, you continue on the listing..

My secret crush, is not very well known. He is Frankie Lum Mun Loong, who has a round face with a crisp hair-do. He stared in Vengeance which I saw during the long break after SRP (now currently known as PMR).

Oh the slit eyes were really huge for me at that time, and I even dreamt of getting married to a Chinese. Thought they could be as cool as the Hong Kong Stars!

Then, take a look at the picture of my dear hubby and tell me what you think?

I rest my case.

Family First

Had read my many many blog written on Monday? That was done while waiting for dear hubby to pick me up.

My husband is my balance. I don't think anyone else read my blog as much as he does. He, too, has other blogs that he reads like his Magic Friends, his losing Manchester Utd. What's your favorite blogs?

I notice that my favorite blogs are pretty much the moms' blogs. There's this one by a mom of two, http://hazelinesnow.blogspot.com/ which is very lively and interesting. A friend of mine's, http://gartblue.modblog.com/ is another one you should be looking for if you want tips of raising four kids with one nursing! Of course, there is my favorite Yasmin Ahmad, but she hardly update any these days http://storyteller.blogspot.com

Today, nothing much in the headline. The Aussie, by the way, after 32 long awaited years, is finally in the World Cup. Hubby was dancing at that fifth penalty.Today, too, the Goblet Fire is screened. Think I have to wait until next week to watch.

Have made arrangement a week ago to go back to Tuk's place at Parit Buntar on the 24th and 25th. We'll move out into the highway on early 24th morning since I hate the afternoon glaring sun! However, the fellowship of my work has decided to arrange a Hari Raya Gathering for the staff on 24th morning. Was thinking that we probably could bear the sun and shoot out straight after the lunch gathering.

Then it hits me, how many times have I made personal arrangement and re-arrange that for the sake of office events? A few tenders, that PD team building (I cancelled the ticket for two to Kuching for Susan's wedding), that there was that AKP Audit. But have people really made arrangement on their personal activity based on the event that I arranged? First it was the Buka Puasa at Toh Yuen, it was pre-arranged like two weeks in advance. Then this bowling with ever precious customer, it was arranged way before Ramadan. I remembered announcing it before Ramadan in the staff meeting so that everybody'll be aware on the date. No body rejected the date or said the date was not suitable or what.

Now, however, look at the number of people agreeing to come!

Thinking of that, I don't think I want to bear the hot sun on the highway up north. Will shoot up in the morning right, and Azam Zikry can sleep soundly in the morning sun.

It's time for me to put my own family first before anything.

Kiss RJ, baby!

Mommy: Where's RJ, Azam Zikry?

Azam Zikry: (looking around, and found that big teddy bear, a present from godparents, on the couch)

Mommy: Kiss RJ, Azam Zikry.

Azam Zikry: (moving closer and the picture tells!)

Show Me Your Teeth!

Would I Give It Up?

EMA called yesterday to come over for Raya Ziarah over my place but I however, miscalculated the hours from Mama's place back to our place. EMA arrived 1 hour early and I didn't get to see both them and Imran! Felt like crying on the way home, and was hoping that when we arrived, their car will still be parked at my gate. I really really wanted to see them, first there is this backpack that we need to return, then they are going off soon to Sydney soon and plus, it's Raya for God's sake!

Dear hubby was sympathized enough that he dragged me to Sunway Pyramid where I splurged on two tops at South China Sea (both of them are black, btw). Shopping is the ultimate and miraculous soul deprivation med. Then he savoured my hunger for Penang Food.

EMA's hubby, Hilmy, is getting this opportunity to do his kinda a POST Graduate program at Padstow, Sydney (was surfing the other day to find out where Padstow is, failure received). He'll come back, teaching at a very new aviation college. The pay is awesome but for the duration of first two years, he'll be getting student allowance which is only RM500 - or so. Imagine if the household income is RM6,000 per month, and suddenly it goes down to RM3,500, what would you do? First, there are rents, utilities and car hire and purchase to be served. Then there are groceries: food, baby's items and stuffs. Then there are your needs, like lunch, clothing, and birthday gifts to people. Car maintenance. Saving. Make up.

With a reduced income, you will still survive. Take a look at any despatch or driver whose income is very much less than you, their kids get to school and be fed normal, healthy food. The lifestyle, however, is different. My question is: Would you be willing to compromise your lifestyle for your spouse's interest?

Like Gabrielle in The Desperate Housewives, she obviously can't. She still want to live in the beautiful house, buying shoes every month, having lunch at expensive diners and asking Carlos to go to jail (wow that rhymes with go to hell! LOL) and serve the punishment.

Would I want to lose my husband over my lifestyle?

Say then, I opt to lose my lifestyle. What would it mean to me?
1. I'd say no to all the colleague hang outs during lunch. Or I'd go and order plain water.
2. I'd confine myself during the weekend and avoid the Malls as much as I could.
3. I'd do the groceries shopping in bulk, scrutinizing the neccesities of every items I bought.
4. I cook every nights, totally a big NO for night eat-out (and shut the eyes off everytime the McDonald's adds are aired!)
5. I eat home-made yoghurts.
6. I teach Azam Zikry potty at very very early age and to some extend, use the re-usable clothing diapers.
7. I take train if I could, or car pool with people.
8. Totally no vacation for the whole two years!
9. I use bedak sejuk for night cream and kiss the jar of de la Mer good bye.
10. Will take breakfast at home.
11. Have to probably chose between Movie Package at Astro and Movie Night Out (twice a month) and DVD purchasing or might have to scrap all three!
12. Start sending letters to Mak instead of phoning.
13. Start running in the park and cancel the gym membership.
14. Cancel all magazine subscription and read onlines instead.
15. Buy used books instead of spluring at MPH whenever I feel rich.
16. Home-made flash cards for Azam Zikry.
17. Probably sew my own baju raya??!

And all of the above are actually doable (it sounds like do'a ble! ). Money have bought time and hardships.

Back to EMA, I pray hard that she won't have much difficulties adjusting to the new life. It will be only temporary and anytime you need me, even financially, I am a call away. Call, on anything, don't you care cutting on Imran's food. You can cut down yours, a lot, but not him!

All the best to a beautiful friend with a beautiful soul!

Me! Me!

WHERE'S THE BOY?

Mommy: Who is Azam Zikry?

Azam Zikry: Me! Me!

The Little Garden Lover Has Spoken

The Little Garden Lover Has Spoken
Today, mommy and daddy went to work, as usual, but they came back at noon. Once in two weeks time, they will come back at noon. And the day after that, they don’t go to work. Mommy said it was Saturday.

When they picked me up, they went to kedai mamak and daddy ordered mamak fried me. Mommy, while waiting for the food, took me for a walk along the sidewalk at that kedai mamak’s shop. Everybody who came across me smiled and patted my bald head. It wasn’t my fault to be that charming!!

When we got home, we tossed around the bed for almost one hour or so. Mommy was trying to get me to nap but I was too busy playing with daddy and tickling mommy’s tummy. Then mommy said to daddy that it was time to do up the garden. Mommy went down and daddy attended me poo-poo, then we laid down some more in bed. Mommy shouted many times from downstairs, asking us to go down but I was having too much fun with daddy. Mommy, can you just leave us alone?

But I’m glad she didn’t. I never thought that the gardening could be so much fun. First, daddy put my shoes on. Then I saw mommy and daddy squatting, pulling some green things (which they called weeds and rumput jahat) from the other green things (which they called their every precious pearl grass). I wanted to help but the hose kept me busy. I thought water was supposed to come out from the hose, but nothing come out. So, I kept poking the end of the hose.

Then daddy said it was time to chop down some helicornia plants at the far end of the garden for they were growing wild. Mommy went straight to squatting, took the cutter and chopped the plants down until she got tired. Then she asked daddy to take over. Daddy, being Daddy, stood around the helicornia, analyzing on either the way he should sit or how best should he chop the plants or how many of plants he should chopped. I heard him asked some questions to Mommy but at the end, Mommy yelped, “Just chop them off!”. I guess there’s nothing wrong about analyzing but I think Mommy was getting tired answering Daddy’s questions. Hmm I wonder how can she stand it when the time came for me to start speaking and asking questions!!

Then Mommy said something about re-arranging the pots. She asked Daddy to move all the tall plants (mine! They are taller than me!) at one corner of the garden and then she’ll relocate all the small ones around the tall ones. Daddy, then, stood at one spot of the garden, looking at all the plants then started doing that analyzing thingy. He was afraid that the corner is not big enough to cater all the plants. Mommy, looking at daddy helplessly, asked whether he wanted to go inside and draw the way he planned to do that pots placement or just move the all the tall plants to that side. She moved all the small pots so that daddy could see clearly and stop analyzing.

They are so busy (talking, working and quarrelling) and I thought I could be a help. I carefully stepped on the wet grass, squatted and pulled some grass. Mommy turned to me and was surprised that her son is the kind who will just squat and do, instead of analyzing. But she didn’t know that I have done more than analyzing from far! She sweetly said, “Good boy, so smart!”. Then my head and forehead started feeling itchy, I scratched them, leaving mud and pieces of grass on my head. I then decided to be me again and explore the taste of grass plus mud, when Daddy saw and screamed. He then turned the water one and shove the hose into my mouth to clean away the mud and the grass out from my tongue and throat. I was by then wet all over my body, but I love being wet!

I was about to shout, c’mon daddy, spray some water on me when daddy decided to take me inside. He then looked at mommy to find out what was the final chore. Mommy said he has to sweep the mud off the tiles and she will spray the water to help him. They quickly worked that out with mommy secretly sprayed some water to me! I loved it! Mommy then sprayed some water to Daddy too but he doesn’t love water as much as we do. At her third spray, Daddy swooped me and took me in, after undressing me at the lawn. Hey look people, I am in diaper at my lawn! Look at my body, people! I wished they could take my diaper off too, there are things too to show.

Daddy and I had shower together then they dressed me up with the new attire Uncle Kannan gave. I thought the day will end there but then they took me to Subang Parade. Daddy saw his friend, Nazrin, who is in Pop Shuvit, playing there. Then he stopped by at Hyundai sales spot while Mommy pushed the stroller around the temporary stalls (who sells some baju kurung mommy was eyeing on and hinting daddy). When I have finally slept, they went and had dinner at Chicken Rice Shop. I woke up when they finally got to the car, dozing on and off on the way home until mommy changed me to pyjamas, drank some milk and tossed around the bed like always. I then chose to sleep under mommy’s armpit because it simply smelt good!

Daddy said it was a tiring chore but I, after much analysis done, decided that I love gardening and it’s been a spectacular day!

Selamat Hari Raya from Us

Azam Zikry wrote:

On behalf of Daddy and Mommy who obviously can't find time to reply all your raya cards, I'd like to wish all of you, readers, a very Selamat Hari Raya. Thank you for all your wishes and yes, I'll make it a point for them to send you Raya cards next year!

Hear Me Out Loud!

I haven’t felt this satisfied for such a long time!!

My team was summoned for a meeting with Finance on the provisional clause on the last Financial Audit. The person who summoned the meeting on behalf of the Managing Director was none other than the MizAnoi. I slept at three a.m. preparing the slides on my team key activities, to the tiniest little details, for I know, shouting out that the work load is unbearable will get unnoticed without a proper presentation.

As I walked in to the meeting room, MizAnoi has already written on the board the agenda of the meeting. Three of them altogether. Being as ignorant as possible, I hooked up the laptop with the projector and ta-da, the light shone upon her agendas. Then Tharan came and thought the agendas was the left-over from yesterday’s meeting, rubbing them off, clean!

I started the presentation, without being asked to speak, on the key activities of my team. Highlighting the priorities of each activity, with the security of supply being the MOST IMPORTANT task in our lives, I somehow explained on why are there the backlogs of open account. I kinda let the MD juggle, which one does he prefer most, getting the accounts beautifully closed and vessels having problem being fixed thus causing the interruptions of delivery. It was then clearly shown to everybody that OPERATION is not about checking and approving invoices, closing the accounts and capturing the data, it is actually about getting the delivery process smooth and uninterrupted.

The meeting was resolved by allocating two personnel doing the back office for the operation. It is kind of a support team, don’t ask me why is it called the back office. It sounds more like a backside to me.  Anyway, I am so glad that people actually heard us this time. Thanks to my effort!

MizAnoi, like always, was seated next to MD, occasionally whispering to him and joking around. There are times where we were talking across the table on certain issues, but she, gracefully, brought his attention to what was she thinking inside! There was this time where IDA asked us to stop talking, just to let her finish with MD so that we will get his attention. Bravo, girl!

I’m so glad that:
1. People actually now understand our work better, and which task is the first priority.
2. My boss approved my presentation without me having to go thru him first, in fact he supported every details by explaining in depth.
3. People actually asked whether we had enough, even with the new two coming in.
4. My boss kept hinting for more bodies to be in the team.
5. My colleague finally spoke her mind off!
6. My power point was in color and it was beautiful!

I never felt this good about work for such a long time. Eventhough it ended up with MizAnoi volunteering nothing and do nothing but suggesting, it went well. We have made our points and Finance actually understood them. Whether the MD understands that enough, I don’t know.

Another point of satisfaction: both Finance and my team clearly saw that MizAnoi sat there, doing nothing but kissing the MD’s butt. Don’t even know where does she belongs to, her activity doesn’t appear in any of the ERMS nor the Team Main Activities.

The world is so round, MizAnoi, one day you’ll be up there and one day you’ll be down. Just make sure people are around to help you when you are down there.

I can’t stand stupidity!!

Was evaluating a tender submission which some people obviously have quoted much lower than the rest. Lots of analysis was done, risk analysis, total cost value, implication, duration of years, market outlook bla.. bla .. bla you name it.

Action sheet from the board coming back saying that the contract is to be allocated EVENLY for the people. Read: EVENLY.

What was the use of the rating, risk analysis I did?

Then the two very expensive submissions (which I have rejected in my evaluation) were asked to reduce their rates to match the lowest.

What was the use then of the tender process? You might as well ask me to invite all the players to sit down together and come out with one number.

Talking about working smart huh?

Clipperseep is currently listening to Vanessa Carlton which piano arrangement was fantastic! At least there’s one good thing of the day filled with the stupid directives.

First day at work!

After ten (read: TEN) days on leave, I’m back at work! Things going smooth this morning, clearing up some emails (which email box shows 329 unreads), sent the letter due to be sent before Deepavali, with some calculations to be fixed, got the big boss to sign the letter and started comparing the calculation of the new tender evaluation done by both my boss and I. During lunch I got to get Kak Satiah, who made the most delicious coffee in the whole Crystal Plaza, to give me her great massage.
Then I suddenly remember that the Thailand visitors are coming today and I am to chip in my energy, time and courtesy to entertain them tonight! Quickly made arrangement with wonderful husband, dropped by at the Gym to wash off the smell and feeling of Nona Roguy massage oil at my back and shoulder. Put on my makeup and went to KL Hilton pick the gentlemen up. We then went to Saloma’s Bistro which the food are so ordinary.
Saloma’s Bistro has the reason on why we picked her up. She, the stand-alone bungalow in the middle of the busy junctions in the heart o KL, has some cultural dances which are are the soul of the bungalow heart. As I watched the many different types of dances, I was lucky to be able to catch the glimpse of the bungalow’s soul. Even though she does have other section of the bungalow which entertain people differently, this soul of hers smell differently.
It smelt the courage of very few people left in Malaysia who fought in their way to preserve the country and its history. As I watched the many types of dances coming from different states, I know that my heart has fallen in love with m own country’s heritage, the beautiful dances. I couldn’t even name the dances: some of them sound like Bukish Zapin (what?) but the tiny fingers of the female dancers and the stomping feet of the males are extraordinary, at least to me.
Years ago, if you ask me whether I know where does this certain dance come from, I’d be proud to say that I didn’t know. It shows that these dances are so OLD and I am the young generation who knows only Vanilla Ice, then Mariah Carey then BackStreetBoys then Jennifer Lopez then Beyonce. I’d be laughed at by my friends if I know that the traditional dance of Perak is so so so (I am so have to find out the name of the dance! It’s killing me!!).
Tonight, however, I feel so humiliated. As I am writing the blog, I am trying to find out pieces of strength to be able to stand and call myself a Malay? What would I be leaving Azam Zikry with so that he’ll feel the dignity to be a Malay? Where is the dignity in my life if I can’t even name the dance coming from my own state?
I don’t know what has gotten into me, it could be the bungalow who obviously carried a long forgotten history in the midst of the funky musics, or it could be the beautiful music but I was trying hard to hold up tears in my eyes. Azam Zikry sweet face kept popping out and I wonder whether he’ll grow up as the kid who hate to be laughed for knowing the traditional dance name or the kid who tried so hard to stomp in between the bamboo in the Kadazan-Duzun dance.
We were then picked up by the company’s driver who happened to be serving the first lady of the CEO. I secretly whispered that if I were her, I will establish the program of “Malay Dance Perseverance” in the company. That will be my first contribution to our heritage.
And why shall I have excuses of time and name to start on the persevering steps?
Can’t think anymore, just feel like hitting the sack.

Raya Movie

I was given the opportunity to see Sembilu 2005 and Sepet (once again), during the recent Raya.

Both stories are similar, about a boy and a girl who fell in love, coming from two different races (or origin) but one is waaaaaaay much better than the other one.

Sembilu, was mainly written, I think, to suit the booming personality of Vince.

Sepet, is then, a very honest movie, beautifully written.

I got tired of the luxury shown by the houses people in KL living in in Sembilu. The house seemed rich but it looks stiff. However, Sepet's houses are normal houses (both Orked's and Jason's) but you can somehow smell the love in both houses.

So, movie makers, stop showing us all the rich people's houses but start filming the houses with love. Stop showing us all the fast cars and start filming the kapchai ridden to deliver love letter.

Can't wait for her next, Gubra.

My Son Pretends that He is Still Breastfeeding!

Weird isn’t it, he goes to sleep (be it the afternoon nap or the nighty night) while licking my shirt (in between my two breast). Try watching the way his mouth moves while his eyes doze off, you’ll laugh to his pretentious breastfeeding.

Whatever keeps you with mommy!

Went to Hamdan’s in law’s house at Kepong to give away the stroller we bought him. His mom in law cook this special mee soto that kinda brushed all the weird feeling over my throat for eating that MUCH of rendaang and ketupat (gotta spell that rendaang with double aa or word will intelligently want to spell check that to rending).

Then stopped by at Sarah’s at Bandar Utama to see her two weeks old Alisha. Baby was sound asleep and we got to meet Sarah’s mom, whom has a very strong character.

tak ada kena mengena dengan sesiapa, just a thought of mine

I strongly feel that a new mother with a newborn shall not be made to change the diaper nor bath the baby by herself, she shouldn’t be doing all those in the first place. That is why all ladies should go back to their moms’ during the first confinement. Having a baby is very challenging, plus you yourself is not recuperating. I had terrible backache due to nappy changing in Azam Zikry first weeks.

I know that moms are supposed to learn changing the nappy and bathing the baby but hey, give us a break for at least a few weeks. Wait until the back that has been bent for nine months recovered.

I hate, just hate, all those people who made the new mommies change their babies’ nappies. Bukannya kitorang tak nak change, we want, but can you guys wait until the pain of delivery ceased to let us ‘learn’ through experience?

If you mothers made us change the nappy and bath the baby, we will opt to stay at the hospital for the rest of two months and you, grandmothers, will miss the opportunity of ‘boasting around the world’ on how cute your grandbabies are!

Done bitchin.

Two More Days for the Eid

Am currently at parents’. Little Azam Zikry refused to let me out of his sight. He just wanted me, occasionally played with his Ateh and Pak Ngah. The rest, he couldn’t bother to be friends with.

Got a call from Nik, wishing Hari Raya. Knew from him that Reena, a very good friend of mine had just reconciled with the husband. The word Nik used was “Kawin balik”. I was so puzzled, that means they were once divorced at such a young marriage.

Reena and I were really close, she was the first to say hi to me when I first transferred to that school. How could I forget the days where the seniors were hitting us hard and she was there, chirping all the way. Neither could I forget the milk she made me when I was sick. I knew her parents, was there when her sister got sick. She was one of the most bubbly friends God made for me and she had this special laugh that is so different from the rest. We didn’t go to the same class and I always looked forward to hear her stories, thought that her class was like the coolest at school.

We were still friends when we graduated high school. Losing boyfriends, changing jobs, gaining weight, we were there. She then had her special circle of friends, oh who could possibly not loving her, but still I have a special spot in her heart and her in mine. She did the make up for me during my engagement day, I was there during hers. Were there for each other during our wedding days

When she decided to leave that college boyfriend, no one knows that the guy was actually abusing her. She kept that in secret, until the courage came to leave the boyfriend. When the stories she poured in, I can’t help but feeling GUILTY for not being there for her during the rough times. I mean, a good friend can sense that the boyfriend is no use, right? But Reena kept it so so well, she in fact told good stories about her Shakaze, how romantic he was, how hilarious he could be at times.

And thing happened again this time. Not the abusing part I hope, but the rough times, and how could I not be there for her? How could I not sense it? She could be so lonely at times, so angry at herself probably for choosing this path of life and I was NOT THERE for her.

Dear Reena, if you are reading this, please know that my heart went out for you. I know things are going well right now and by God, I’m so glad you guys worked it out. I respect the boundaries you have drawn between us, that it is no longer like the crush you had with the pakcik kantin, or the hatred we both felt for the spinster warden, that this is personal, that this is your life. I must admit that I feel a bit left out on your personal life but I do respect the choices you have made. Just know that I always be there, to take you out for window shopping just to make you forget certain things at home and NOT talk about it. You can always laugh the way you laugh weirdly, and I can always choose to make fun of your laugh but we can NOT talk about it. It broke my heart to know how lonely you could be at times, again, I am here for you.

Like Desperate Housewives’ Gabrielle said, “A good friend offers sympathy, but a great friend pretends nothing happens”.

So, here I am, pretending nothing happens, and you still owe me that baju you kept!

Selamat Hari Raya

Selamat Hari Raya!

The First Syawal is here, finally!

We spent four days at my parents', then driving back to home, put up a night, then spent the last Ramadan at Azmady's parents'. Azam Zikry refused to let me out of his sight, at both my parents' and Azmady's, so I didn't get to be much of a help. Mama did all the cooking by herself, poor her! But she managed to do all those by herself and still keeping the kitchen clean, neat and organized. The only thing I got to help is ironing her dining table cloth. Better than nothing huh!

SMSes came rushing in wishing Selamat Hari Raya. I have a pre-written text to reply all those but splashed in a few personal sentences to those who I think deserve it. Cool Selamat Hari Raya SMSes are spread all over the town for e.g. I got the "Sorry I baroo bar lake dairy London!" from Azrina (Manchester ex student, same org) and Boy (Smapian, MFI). I have this thought of inventing my new own SMS and how cool it'd be when it is spread all over the town during the festive and how cooler it'd be receiving it back again but then the little one always become the excuse of not creating one... Seriously, I didn't have much time to organize the words in my mind and jot them down.

Downstairs people are watching Sepet which I think is THE most honest movie I've ever seen. Can't wait for her next film, Gubra which review I have read in her blog. I got to blog since Azam Zikry has gone to dreamland (remind me to write about his new habit of getting to sleep: lick mommy's chest)

Lemme tell you about the first Eid we had. We, of course, dressed in deep red, he and Daddy in Johore's baju melayu and me with Kebaya and Batik. Mak has done some adjustment on his sleeve which then made the Johore's look so funny, macam baju kedah. Imagine this, the sleeves are so short but the badan are so labuh! Haha.. he looked cute, anyway. And dear Daddy look so ever handsome in red. After Daddy and Tuk Wan and Pak Ngah and Pak Su came back from the Surau, we did the traditional raya thing, salam and memohon maaf. Mama and Papa basically were standing when we wanted to salam them, I then dragged Mama to sit, telling her it's time for her to be a tuk (a grandparent), sit and wait for the kids to salam and minta maaf, Ma!! I kissed both of my in law's. Then Shaniza called from London, we took turn to speak to her which Azam Zikry chose to scream instead. (oh ya he is getting syiok already with his annoying scream! I am to find out a way of putting him to stop to those ears piercing screams)

We then go to visit Pak Hamzah and Azam Zikry got to play with Amir Haziq. The boy is a month older but got a lot more teeth than him. We then visit the other neighbor which house has frightened me. There were clothes, books and basically JUNKS everywhere in the house. I dared took a step into the kitchen and its image stuck in my mind until late afternoon! Whooh.... That is basically the most DIRTY house I've ever been in entire life!! But their kids are great. They are friendly, down to earth, great with Azam Zikry and drive sporty cars.

We went back then to put AZ to sleep for one hour and a half then shoot to Prof Adib's, mama's gynae at Jln Chenderai, Bangsar where I met Juli, her daughter who works with MAS. She talked about having a red book policy on procurement on all the GLCs companies and I am yet to find out.

After that, we got nowhere to go so we decided to pay a relatives' late Deepavali Visit at Jln Limau Manis. But the real reason I wanted to visit is because I haven't seen their triplet. Yes, you read me right, TRIPLET. Two girls and one boy, they are Dravid, Anushka and Marisha. When we first walked, they are seated discplinely in their dining chairs, alligned in a straight line in front of the tv, watching Aladin while having dinner. They have their own play ground, siap ada pagar, and they DO have lots of books. At the age of two, they are still closely guarded by their parents, their grandparents and two maids. Nak tinggal pergi dapur pun the mother will call the tata to come and watch one of the girls. I wonder how Shamala and the husband have their own lives. But I guess, the kids ARE their lives.

My goal, to see the TRIPLET, one of the many wonders of the world, is achieved. I came back, letting Azam Zikry nuzzled my caftan, feeling contented and so much relieved for God gave me one angel to love. I am sure three are A GREAT GIFT but for now, lemme settle for one who is more than happy to nuzzle me.

Tomorrow we gotta see Hamdan at his in laws' to hand him over his stroller.

Selamat Hari Raya. May yours be as fulfilling as mine.

WHO STOLE MY VOICE?

Flu is gone, so does my voice...!! Can't even utter a word... i was practically whispering to people all day long.

Finished up the whole day posting to ERMS at Menara Telekom. Might have to forego today's Iftar at PJ Hilton. Plus, been there like twice this month and I got nothing to talk about to people, basically (since I got no voice!). Glad that is the last Iftar invitation for the month.. shoot, got another this Friday! Aggh... I just can die from all these food.  I think I'd like to settle for a bowl of Maggi quietly with dear husband. And all the suppliers are taking the opportunity to 'appreciate' us by these Iftars.

So that was yesterday's blog got unsent.

Yesterday's suppliers' invitation was turned down by a merely very very short SMS. They gave me a call, but how do you expect me to talk on the phone voiceless? Can't expect them to turn the mute button off my lips! Dear husband dragged me to the clinic again, asked the doctor to drug me with a stronger antibiotic course. The infection has gone down to the voice-box, poor Azam Zirky waiting for mommy to say "Smart boy!" everytime he does that so-clever-thing knocking on the car's window. After the clinic, we went to SS17 Pasar Ramadan which is much much better spread than Sunway's pasar Ramadan. Price, however, is more shocking. One kuih is 50cents. I took rice, one piece of chicken and vege, that cost me RM4.50. Hello, that's not like  a Pasar Ramadan's pricing at all!! But, credit goes to the sellers, all the kuih are sedap and the lauk are tasty as well.

I got a Medical Cert for today, but a tender was closed yesterday and the paper is due to be done today. Will get that paper circulated to the Committee and by Friday, I'll get all the signatures in. Ta-daa!

Oh God! The lost voice is really killing me. Got a few friends I gotta call, since their Raya cards will not get sent until Raya but how do I talk? Would like to settle for SMSes but it will sound so ordinary. Don't friends get special calls from each other?

Better work on the tender paper now. Will blog again this afternoon, this mute world of mine has inspired me to experience things that I don't normally get to. Was given a stretch to go shopping and lemme see how do I bargain for stuffs at the shop! In case you, readers don't hear from me until the Eid, Selamat Hari Raya Eid'l Mubarak, drive safely and I hope the Pakistanis will get the blankets and roofs they need by the Eid.

The New Baby in Town!

Have I written about Hamdan, my brother?

Him and the wife are expecting soon. They have been going for check ups
and the baby just refused to show what's in between the legs. On Friday,
we went for Raya shopping and I thought of buying some girls clothing
for the baby (thinking so hard it'll be a girl) but gave them a rang
before buying anything-oh-so-pretty. (just thought I'd check for the
last time). They told that they have seen the little birdie! :( and the
poor mak long just then bought a stroller for Azam Zikry's coming cousin.

Nevertheless, Mak Long is as much as happy as she was before

Fever Fever!

Am now at In Law's house. Yesterday's fever was so bad. I was practically dragging my feet to Menara Telekom to complete the ERMS conversion and October plus September postings. Much coordination were needed since all the jobs need different password. However, how lucky Ida and I were, both the managers given us their password and we happily tested the system using theirs.

Back to my fever, coming back from Menara Telekom, Azmady and I went to the Tailor to pick up our oh-so-red Baju Raya! Azam Zikry's was a bit big, so we got her redid his pants. While waiting the adjustment, I laid down on her clean carpet, took some pillows and tried to catch some sleep. Body was feeling a mixture of cold and warm, bones feel like exploding and eyes were so watery.

Azmady then drove straight to the Doctor's at SS17 and we waited for about 1/2 hour for our turn. Then we drove home and he practically pengsan already in bed. I munched some chocolate biscotti and swallowed a big gulp of pills before putting on sweater and jumped in the bed, covering myself with the comforter (at 3:00 noon, bear you!). An hour and half or so later, I woke up sweating, feeling a lot fine. He picked up the angel from the baby sittet's, then drove straight to Bangi. I caught an early night sleep with Azmady being so much of a darling, put Azam Zikry to bed hours later.

Woke up around 3 a.m. and stared at Azam Zikry sweet face, tidur terkangkang, in between us. Felt like kissing him but the thought of the bacteria in my nose being transferred back to him prevented. Stroked his little hairs instead. When I got up to go to the bathroom, he suddenly woke up and cried, practically crawling looking for me. Poor dreamy Daddy gotta calm him down before Mommy finished off changing in the bathroom. Azam Zikry then opted to sleep on Mommy's tummy until this morning.

Hey that KWSP money is in! Surprisingly fast! We did less than two weeks. Alhamdullilah, now can get the money transferred into ASB, collecting some dividends before the new house is ready and we can splurged on furnishing!

Pak Lah's story has been three days in a row making front page. Poor old man, nak pergi baca tahlil at Wife's grave pun jadi headline. Apa nak buat, he and the whole family had opted to become part of the public.

Okay gotta go!

The Day The First Lady Passed Away

The Day The First Lady Passed Away

 

It was still a raining and cold day. (which for me a sneezy and itchy nose day, too). Somebody from work heard from the radio that she passed away after the long battle with cancer. At night, we watched the rerun of the funeral, how Pak Lah and the kids look so calm. I didn’t expect them to cry unnecessarily at the funeral, not because they are public figures and they have to put up good faces in front of the live camera, but because I know, they have expected her to go. I’m not surprised they don’t look so terribly sad. But I know, they will be, coming Hari Raya two weeks later.

 

There was a sharp pain my tummy when I saw the funeral on tv. It reminds me the cancer battle that late Along faced. While she fought her own battle, we, the people around her, fought our own, of knowing that it is a battle one can hardly survive.

 

Cancer has always been instrumental to me. When a good of girlfriend of mine knew her brother had one, I cried to sleep. I know her and the whole family will be going through the same thing mine had. How terrified we were at the moment we discovered. Then we wondered whether it was Stage 2 or 4. We remember the feeling of uncomfortable and impatience we are outside the operating theatre for the surgical to remove the whole lump, how they fasted 24 hours before the surgery.  How weak they are after going on chemotherapy. (Oh I never forget how much do I hate the chemo word!) How we cried silently whenever we tried to feed them after the chemo and they threw up. The enormous numbers of pills doctor tried to shove into their dry mouth.  We remember trying to be strong when they asked for water to wuduk and how difficult they were trying to perform solah while lying on the hospital bed.

 

We went through the days making their bed and found the strings of hair, falling from their head, on the pillow. We cried, quickly wiping our tears off whenever someone else walked into the room.

 

Then they got better. They always got better. Still the pills are like the pebbles at the shore. We went thru the days convincing ourselves that we are not losing them, that they could see we graduating, getting married, that they could see our babies being born and learn to walk. We prayed to The Almighty One that He will spare their lives until we had proved we had done enough for them and shown them how much they meant to us.

 

The day will then come, when their cells lose their own battle to the cancer. It’ll start with the normal fever, untreated coughs, then by the time you know it, they have trouble walking. We know the day had came, we just don’t know how long more they will endure their pain. Then we had our own time, praying to The Almighty One on taking their lives as fast as He could, since we can no longer bear seeing them in bed. We cried listening to ourselves talking that out loud.

 

For my Along during her second wave, was told that she might be diabetic. She came home from the clinic, announcing that she will no longer take rice, sweet foods. We smiled, knowing that it’s not diabetes, it’s just the cells now taking charge of her kidney. Then it came worse, so quick, then the next doctor meeting, he silently told us to feed her anything that she likes. I remember we made a very sweet agar-agar but soft and fed into her mouth. She was surprised, we know, that we fed her something that she vowed not to eat, but she shoved the agar-agar down her throat anyway, putting up a fake smile. The second wave was actually much much worse than the chemo, because we know it is the time. Still we tried to find cure to this Mr Cancer. We thought the traditional way might work, we prayed so hard at nights, we tried alternative healing but at the end, we just couldn’t bear putting them on the false hopes anymore.

 

We read Quran when they went to sleep, checking them every now and then between the pages. People then start to come to see her, thinking that they might want to see her for the last time. We just hate those who come and sit by her bed, trying to make she talk. We just prayed those would leave for she needed the rest. We remember walking into their room at nights, checking up whether the chests are still moving up and down, showing life signs, every two hours. We just clutched our own hands when we see how they are cleaned up, for they can no longer go to the loo. We read papers to them, telling them the daily happenings of the country, for they can no longer focus on the small printings of the dailies. We massaged their back softly when they softly cried of the back pain (of lying down so much). It hurt to know that they are in pain, but they just couldn’t locate exactly where the pain are, and we feel so terribly HELPLESS.

 

When they go, they always go peacefully. People said that the sins are washed away by the long pain they have endured. We calmed ourselves, saying that it is the best, they can no longer endure any more pain. We thanked those who came to the funeral, eventhough we can hardly match the names with the faces.

 

But coming home, we broke into tears seeing the empty room, the place where we sit to read them papers. The pills bottles, half are empty. We can still smell them as we stiffed thru the blanket and the pillows. And we just don’t want to get the room cleaned up and re-organized, for we thought we are still waiting them to come home from their regular check up at the doctor’s.

 

They fought their own battle, and we always had our own. I would say they won their battle, went peacefully, to their Creator. We? We thought we are cool, until another person we know goes. And our own battle story flashed into our grieving mind.

 

Al Fatihah to Along, to Mohd Ali Ikram* and to Datin Seri Endon. These are the real heroes, my real heroes.

 

*This is not the actual name of his. It’s just the way he liked to write during his childhood.