Holding On to the Number

You know that 8TV Desperate Housewives is one season earlier than 70
Astro's.

I was watching 8TV last week, where it ended with Bree getting a call
from the Hospital saying that Rex has passed away. I was hoping that
call will just be a prank call, that Rex was just testing whether she'll
confess on feeding him potassium (which is poisonous to him). I was SO
hoping that this week's episode will tell me on how Rex will be
clarified on who actually poisoned him with potassioum. I mean, he could
NOT die without knowing the truth, could he?

The next day of that episode last week, Roslan passed away. Again,
hopeful I was that the call was just a prank call, that he'll be there
smiling at his pelamin when we go attending his wedding this week. That
he'll be still sending me emails of jokes this week. That we'll be
visiting his wife at SJMC when they got they first baby. I mean, he
could NOT die without firstly marrying the girl of his dream, could he?

Thing is, they could.

As I re-watched the episode at 70 Astro's, and patiently waited for
8TV's, hopeful I was again that Rex will still come back. That Bree will
be so mad to the caller but smiling gleefully at the end. (then how
pissed was I finding that 8TV this week season was simply not available!!!).

As I spring cleaned my Contact in the Microsoft Outlook while sync'ing
it to my PDA, I saw Roslan's old number which I know by heart 019 359
4246 (since it was like similarly mine 019 359 9464) and hesitated to
delete it. I looked again, then decide to hold on to. Closed Microsoft
Outlook. Then in a split of second, I opened it again, scrolled down to
"L", found Lan and deleting I was. It then asked me again, 'Empty the
Deleted Items?', I rushingly clicked yes, knowing that if I stopped to
think, I won't do it, then walked out from my workstation to the pantry
where I gulped down one mug of coffee with extra sugar.

Deep inside I know the sweetness won't wash the bitter memory away.