Two More Days for the Eid

Am currently at parents’. Little Azam Zikry refused to let me out of his sight. He just wanted me, occasionally played with his Ateh and Pak Ngah. The rest, he couldn’t bother to be friends with.

Got a call from Nik, wishing Hari Raya. Knew from him that Reena, a very good friend of mine had just reconciled with the husband. The word Nik used was “Kawin balik”. I was so puzzled, that means they were once divorced at such a young marriage.

Reena and I were really close, she was the first to say hi to me when I first transferred to that school. How could I forget the days where the seniors were hitting us hard and she was there, chirping all the way. Neither could I forget the milk she made me when I was sick. I knew her parents, was there when her sister got sick. She was one of the most bubbly friends God made for me and she had this special laugh that is so different from the rest. We didn’t go to the same class and I always looked forward to hear her stories, thought that her class was like the coolest at school.

We were still friends when we graduated high school. Losing boyfriends, changing jobs, gaining weight, we were there. She then had her special circle of friends, oh who could possibly not loving her, but still I have a special spot in her heart and her in mine. She did the make up for me during my engagement day, I was there during hers. Were there for each other during our wedding days

When she decided to leave that college boyfriend, no one knows that the guy was actually abusing her. She kept that in secret, until the courage came to leave the boyfriend. When the stories she poured in, I can’t help but feeling GUILTY for not being there for her during the rough times. I mean, a good friend can sense that the boyfriend is no use, right? But Reena kept it so so well, she in fact told good stories about her Shakaze, how romantic he was, how hilarious he could be at times.

And thing happened again this time. Not the abusing part I hope, but the rough times, and how could I not be there for her? How could I not sense it? She could be so lonely at times, so angry at herself probably for choosing this path of life and I was NOT THERE for her.

Dear Reena, if you are reading this, please know that my heart went out for you. I know things are going well right now and by God, I’m so glad you guys worked it out. I respect the boundaries you have drawn between us, that it is no longer like the crush you had with the pakcik kantin, or the hatred we both felt for the spinster warden, that this is personal, that this is your life. I must admit that I feel a bit left out on your personal life but I do respect the choices you have made. Just know that I always be there, to take you out for window shopping just to make you forget certain things at home and NOT talk about it. You can always laugh the way you laugh weirdly, and I can always choose to make fun of your laugh but we can NOT talk about it. It broke my heart to know how lonely you could be at times, again, I am here for you.

Like Desperate Housewives’ Gabrielle said, “A good friend offers sympathy, but a great friend pretends nothing happens”.

So, here I am, pretending nothing happens, and you still owe me that baju you kept!