Yesterday

It is a bliss that both bosess are away, I could blog, blog , blog!

I went to SJMC to see an ENT specialist who took out a large clump of fungal-do inside my right ear. I was glad when I was pronounced 'not deaf', decided to celebrate it and went to Subang Parade, alone, determining to do things for my son, instead of for myself.

So I decided to check up Tumble Tots. Found out they do a few classes. Quite pricey, I calculated, around RM50 per class. Classes are more like phonic reading and gym toddling. I was looking for more things like drawing, coloring, craft. Decided to check out the drawing class I saw in One Utama new wing. (Have you guys seen one?)

After I have completed my motherly obligation, decided to roam for one pair of comfortable pants, since my waist line is dissapearing ( I am by now have finished my fourth month of pregnancy). Just one pair and my belly won't feel so tight when I drive. Just a little pair.

So hopped into Modern Mom, paid for two blouses, one jeans and one pair of black pants. That is around RM400! When I was sitting recording things into my CashOrganizer the Man had just re-installed to my pda-phone, I casually asked whether they have cardigan, and you just got to see their cardigan! It is way too cool, it's like a wrap, but it's a cardigan, it's warm but trendy. So I swooped one, cost around RM100.

There, half a thousand spent on one day, less than one hour.

Didn't I just do re-evaluation of my spending habits for 2007 and vowed to save more for 2008?

The Do's and Don'ts

Lots have been offered on advising me handling the new maid. Lots of them went undone.

 

1. We were advised that the market rate is RM400 per month.

But she had demanded RM450 since the sister-in-law was also paid RM450.

 

2. We were advised that the monthly salary is not to be given to her hand.

But she insisted on sending the money back home, and she had a three years old Kid who is about the same age of AZeuchry and it just broke my heart to know that her kid went unfed. So I obliged.

 

3. We were advised to keep the passport with us.

She is on her visiting visa which we are to renew on working visa later. So she is keeping her own passport.

 

4. We were advised not to let her mix with her own clan.

But she had demanded to go to her sister-in-law place who worked in Kak Ina's house at Pantai Dalam every fortnight. Kak Ina is Mai's (The Man's Technician) sister.

 

5. I was advised not to let her cook.

They said mom should cook, but she is way too efficient. When I came back, the foods are all prepared on the table.

 

6. I was advised not to let her come into my bedroom.

Did I mentioned that she is way too efficient? She mopped my bedroom floor and collect all my dirty laundry. The other day she WASHED my silk kurung in my washing machine with my detergent!

 

So lots of them went undone.

Congratulations me!

Yesterday was the day my promotion (or shall I say acting promotion) is effective.

 

I didn't notice about it until a few girls at the office come around to say hi to the new manager.

 

Smiled. Anyway.

 

Have been doing the job since early this May. Guess it takes months for the Management to give me due recognition. Better than nothing, consoled myself away.

 

So what do I get together with the promotion?

 

Pay rise of around RM400 (which all will go to hiring the maid)

Travelling by business class for overseas trips (which I don't think I want to go whilst I am pregnant nor when I am breastfeeding)

A few RM rise in subsistence allowance.

A room (which have not been properly built for me, but I don't care since I like my working station now)

and of course

responsibility,

much work,

and a few people to train/develop.

 

Congratulations to me, anyway. Like I wrote, better late than nothing.

 

 

 

My Helper is Here!

Okay.. So we decided to hire a helper once the new baby is here. BUT I didn't expect it to be soon.

She was picked up last Sunday. Seemed nice.

I , however, had some issues.

1. I didn't like going into my own house on Sunday. It seemed like somebody else's house seeing someone else mopping the floor.
2. My son took only 4 hours to warm up with her.
3. She has all day long with my son. I didn't.
4. She is to super hardworking. She ironed all clothes until there are no more hangers left.
5. She can make 'goreng pisang' which is a suprise to me!

Guess I'm still getting used on mommy is not the only woman in the house.

Co-mmu-ni-ca-tion

I never really write on how did I left my phone at the Sydney Airport. (I've come to terms that I didn't lose my phone, I had just ridiculously out of my mind leaving it there).

Two doors away, in our new 100% malay neighbourhood, lived a couple with three kids. The wife, Joned is a doctor at GH and the husband,Bo is an engineer. We knew Bo long time ago, we went to his wedding, and The Man and Bo kinda chose the house together. Not close but not so distanced.

So when we are practically neighbours, we thought it is fun to be chosing house together and our kids could grow together, and we will grow old together.

But then, the other neighbours (remind you again that I now live in a 100% malay neighbourhood where housewives chat at the playground and over the fence) started talking to me of Joned's problem. Joned apparently had visited them and told them (the women) about their marriage problem. She never came to me, but my heart goes out for them and the kids. It must be real tough raising three when you don't know who are you marrying to. I sometimes prayed that things are going smoother for them.

So Joned talked to the teacher on my left, to the laywer on my right, to the banker across the playground, but never to me. I didn't intend to talk to her about it either. When we visited her for her third new born, everytime she tried to give the impression that she was so thin because of what she went through during the pregnancy (ada masalah lah, tension lah ) I quickly brushed them away saying that I can't imagine how stressful it is working at an ER at GH.

I don't know, I just don't want to know. I however did pray for her marriage, for her solace.

Until the SMS came in. She said , out of sudden, in a text message, that she wants to divorce Bo but she thought about the kids. I didn't reply that one. She send another one within 10 minutes saying that Bo is not a kind of good husband because Bo never read the Quran. I wondered what that made my Man because Bo solat at the Masjid for Maghrib and Isyak everyday. I replied saying that reading the Quran doesn't determine a good husband. Then she said Bo used her like a hooker, and she didn't get paid.

I thought that was it.

The day after, she started forwarding me texts that she wrote for her friends, expecting me to understand.

The week after, she started forwarding me texts that she wrote for Bo, asking for money to buy something, then something about tolak duit nafkah? What?

So when I turned on my phone at Sydney airport during the transit to call up the Man, suddenly about 7 or 8 text messages appearing in my phone. I really thought they were urgent, stupidly scrolling them while trying to unzip my pants at the toilet with one hand.

That was how I left my phone at Sydney's airport restroom.

So I was furious. I still am.

I don't mind if you pour your heart out to me. However, being an adult, a married adult with a kid, I will promise you that I will be nothing but a listener. Until you give me the impression that you want me to be taking sides simply because we are both women. Then I will stop listen, I will go away. In this case, she drove me away before I was even a listener.

True enough, coming back from the Australia trip, Lisa next door , over the fence was telling me how scary it was when Joned came around 10:00 at night with Bo watching over the fence to pour her heart out. She said that both The Man and Me didn't want to listen because we are taking Bo's side. There! It's true that she thought all adults do is taking sides.

Fooh....

So people, stay away from your neighbour's marriage problem.

Why Linkin Park

Okay, numerous reason on why do I love Linkin Park to bits.

First, they write their own songs.

Then, they produced their songs.

They collaboratively worked on every songs together. Taking everyone's ideas.

Chester is totally a rock star, Mike emerged from hip hop-rap-kind a thing but put them together, it is awesome.

Their songs are all about expressing anger, which is good because it let you find an avenue to let the steam off.

They are one of a kind. There was never a band combining rough-low-then scream songs with raps before.

Most important thing, after all this time, they stay on together.

And together is what important. Together makes you feel that they are loyal to each other, and make you loyal to them.

I just hated it when they claim it's Hani-AC-and-Kieran on ERA the radio but you can actually calculate how many times do they actually appear in that combination. Most of the days, one of them will not be around, and the most sad thing shall be when there's only one out of three. So called good marketing huh.

Lois, You are an Angel!

My Stylist (Lois, at A Cut Above Sunway Pyramid) is totally a granny. He won't let me have style that I want. When I wanted it permed, he said it'll be a total mess because I need to apply gel daily and knowing that the Kiddo at that time had just started crawling, he was actually right. When I wanted it short, he refused saying that it'll frizz up and I have to come by a lot to touch up the root. He NEVER abide what I wanted.

That is because he knows my hair more than I do.

So when I really want it short this time, (shorter from the shortest he had allowed me), I practised hard on what to say to him. It goes like, "Lois I'd do everything that you want me to do, I can come by every month to touch up the root if that's what required, I religiously will not skip my home treatment just let me have one short hair".

When I actually saw him at the new re-do saloon, I said Lois come here and sit, I need to talk to you. He actually smiled and said what you want? (of course, the old man knew). I told him I really want it short this time, and he simply smiled and said, "of course, cannnn...."

He let me have it short!!

Of course he chucked the idea of the boy-cut. He never stopped being a granny.

The Head, The Hands, The Feet and the Spine

You know that I have not been posting much about my pregnancy, eventhough the morning sickness (or shall I say the all-day sickness) hit me bad almost everyday. I have also not been telling around much. There's something in between everything-can-happen-during-the-first-trimester and what-can-peed-on-stick-really-tell-of-what's-in-my-womb.

So, the week we got back to work after Eid-el-Mubarak, I randomly picked a day and decide that day to be the day to see Dr. Christina Tai at SJMC. My appointment was at 12:10, we went late, around 12:00, got in around 1:30. As she rubbed the cold thing on my tummy, it was clear on the monitor! As clear as the white cloud during the clear sky. We saw the head, the hands, the feet and the spine! Both The Man and I wondered whether we really saw the Kiddo when he was in my tummy because we never really see the fetus as clear as this one.

It hit both of us to know that it is actually alive in Mommy's womb!

People, I am pregnant! Really....!

Orient the Watch

Syclone wrote and yes, it was actually Orion's Belt i/o Orient's (as in the watch). You see when you have been humiliated by your own dream, you tend to try to forget everything about it.

I was thinking to start reading star gazing again.

Dream On

How many of you remembered what you filled up for your ‘cita-cita’ (ambitions) when you were standard 1?

I remembered mine vividly. I remembered the feeling of trying to fill up the three lines when they asked to rank them. It was exciting, much more exciting than walking up the stage to get the best student prize. I never filled them up honestly.

My dad, who is an ordinary secondary school teacher, was not born as an ordinary thinker, I think. When I haven’t started schooling, he bought this encyclopedia about star gazing and everything else up in the sky. He then sat down with me during cloudless, clear sky trying to make sense of the constellations on the sky to match ones in the book. His favorite, which is then mine, is the Orient’s Belt, three stars lined up perfectly. Of course we got to see them only less than half of the year. Once we could locate Orient’s Belt, we could easily find Taurus the Bull (which by then I didn’t know it is my zodiac), the Plaeideus (seven princess who actually are not really seven), the Zeus and his wife, two Orient’s dog which resides two Ursula (major and minor, which I think the minor is brighter than Ursula major, weird huh?)

Orient’s Belt remains my favorite, till now. You could only see them from October onwards in Malaysia. Orient’s Belt still be the reason of me gazing out to the sky on the cloudless clearly. Orient’s Belt is still the reason me falling in love with the stars.

So there I was, a seven years old girl, dreaming about owning a real telescope just to see the stars clearer. Dreams of owning a real telescope developed more each years, rapidly. Gazing made me wanting to see more, wanting to experience more, to go up there and see how’s it look like.

The last chapter of the book, which has already lunyai (‘meshed up’) by the time I turned 10, was about the adventure to the space. I always read through that very quickly, for I know it won’t be true for me. But from star gazer, I grown to like astronomers, then astronaut, then by the age of 12, I really thought I would settle for astrophysicist. I asked a relative who studied astrophysicist and bluntly he said, there is no job prospect for that in Malaysia. Fine enough, being rejected by the first guy I had crush with since I was seven, I thought I might wanna migrate to the States and stay there forever, mending my heart while working my ways through to NASA.

I read about the space more. I had Valentina Tereskova, the first woman to space, as my idol, secretly signing little V in my signature. When I was 15, I then fell in love with Physics which then I think I want to be an aerospace engineer. Anything to do with the space. I figured out that to get my way to NASA, I at least have to have two degrees, then one master then join their training for an average of three years. So I thought of having degrees in Mathematics, then Aerospace Engineering, then Physics, then Astronomy (okay, so that’s four, figured out that I can do two at one time), then a Master in Astrophysics, then three years of training, by the time I am 29, I should be able to pass the training at NASA and ready to go to the space.

I thought hard about the job prospect thing. I though hard about not leaving Malaysia since the puppy love doesn’t turn out to be the real love anyways. Thinking that Malaysia would never set up a space center, by the time I sat for my scholarship interview, I had settled less to an aeronautical engineer. Flying to the space is not gonna be a reality, then flying or assisting with flying a plane might be good. The scholarship gave me a mechanical engineering degree, which I did with so not flying color. The case study about the O-ring failure of a rocket back in 1990s which then killed a kindergarten school teacher then confirmed that I am not ever going to the space.

So here I am, a mechanical engineering graduate who dreamt of going to the space, who then settled down as a fuel procurement manager doing commodity trading and contract at the age of 29. Funny enough, when I was 29, the aerospace program was introduced in Malaysia. Many applied, a few went through when they managed to settle down for 2 candidates. I bit my teeth browsing through the papers, pretending not to be interested whilst in my heart, I thought about the dreams I had all these years, the Orient Belt, the Astrophysicist degree, the NASA and how stupid the dreams felt like a few years ago, and how stupid am I today to let go of the dreams.

When Dr. Sheikh Muzafar’s Soyuz blasted off, I prayed hard that his O-ring went well, then he will finally see the earth from the space, then he’ll see things that I never get to see. I still bit my teeth with jealousy but deep inside, I know I was the one who killed my own dreams. If only I stayed on dreaming, I know I’ll be the one who celebrated Hari Raya in space.

I never shared this with anyone, not even The Man, the dreams about going to the space, the passion about star gazing (except with my dad who then thought that I have grown up getting bored of the Greek’s Gods History), about how I killed my own dreams. I guess it was embarrassing to be wanting to be out to the space, but it was more embarrassing to let people know that big dreams were crushed by the very own dreamer.

But would I wanna go back in time to change what I have now? Guess I wouldn’t, looking at the li’l Kiddo playing with my parents, I’d rather have Hari Raya here with them. But one thing stays, I would let li’l Kiddo know that never crush his own dream, for one day, it might come true.

Perhaps I’d really go out and buy the telescope. Back to star gazing, yeah.

Should I Not

We had Iftar with a supplier, which is a good friend (because he went to Kinabalu with us) at Toh Yuen Restaurant. It was nice.  The Man was there too.

 

However, we spoke about Brucelee. More like gossiping. Nothing detrimental to the business because we didn't talk about his stupid decision or his market unintelligence.

 

When we came back, I somehow felt that it was not proper for me to talk bad about our own boss, how bad our own boss is, especially in front of a supplier. Eventhough character gossiping doesn't somehow damaging the business.

 

I should not talk bad about him, anymore.

27.7.2007

I was around! I was around!

 

Been busy running the yearly retreat. I wrote about that two years ago, I wrote about another one last year. This year, I think, is the most efficiently organized.

 

I wrote Sihin a speech for dinner. In the dinner, I made him thank Ida. Both were thrilled. Ida was thrilled. I think she deserved that.

 

I look fabulous during Dinner! hehe.. Ajin came over to do make-up for Ena and I joined in afterwards. She only spent like, twenty minutes, on my face and voila! I looked different. Everyone stopped (even the VIP table) talking and looked at me when I came in. I think I look too white and my hair was funny. Enjoyed it, anyway.

 

Jalilah (not a real name) was a realy bitch to us. First, she didn't help at all. Then, she didn't allow her staff help. Then she made us do that stupid 5S meeting and urged us for a minutes of meeting to be delivered to her on Friday, the day where we ran like cicak kudung making sure all the papers are organized accordingly into the folders.

 

Hodilay Villa Hotel (not a real name) was also a real pain to us. First, they told us that there will be a wedding a night before the conference. I always spent the night rearranging the laptops and wires and testing the AVs and all, but told my guys that we'll start at 11 pm after the dinner is over. However, at 9pm, we realized that there wasn't any dinner! I didn't want to fume much, we started right on and stopped at 2:30 something. I made everyone rehearsed and went through the programme over and over again.

 

I thank God that it went smooth, anyway.

Most Sad Thing of the Year

Visited nurinjazlin.blogspot.com and broke down several time. I broke down on the day of the funeral too. Was driving back to Lenggong while listening to Aznil on ERA. He totally was at loss of words.

 

Anyway, it's a sad thing. It's the most sad thing of the year.

 

I urged the police to expedite the investigation. I have a few theories though:

 

1. Killer is definitely wealthy. He can afford to keep her in a house where nobody knows or can hear, must be a bungalow.

 

2. Killer definitely an educated man, who watched CSI too much because he knows how to clean. He is definitely an Astro subscriber.

 

3. Killer knows how to cut hair. I bet he cut her hair the very day he kidnapped her. He knows how to make her hair curls (by the way of cutting) whilst the original hair is straight.

 

4. Killer is also hygienic because he has some spares plastic / rubber gloves around. He used the gloves while handling the body.

 

5. Killer lives alone. And operates alone.

 

 

Whomever he is, I prayed hard that God will reveal him. I know that if it takes more than 2 months to catch him, chances are he'll still be around. So, cops, move your butt and catch the fella before he flees off and hurt another innocent girl!

Harry Potter : THe Deathly Hallows

I have just finished Harry Potter the 7th Book after someone got for us for a mere RM30! Lucky eh..

 

Anyway, this is what I thought about the Deathly Hallows!

 

Awesomely written! Brilliant!

Ending is like always, is as expected. The Man has always been saying that I spoilt few movies too much, that I knew the endings too soon. He emphasized on enjoying the journeys than the endings, but I laughed. But this is one book whose journey I enjoyed reading.

 

We knew very well Harry will live and marry Ginny. We knew Ron will Hermione. We knew very well that Snape is actually a good guy eventhough he appeared bad (and at the same trying to appear bad) since Book 1. That is the ending, people, you knew it since Book 3. But read Deathly Hallows and it is much more than the ending that you are seeking.

 

Technically, Rowlings presented us two to four chapters of the kids being idle, then one chapter full of battle. The constant ups and downs of the battles between the good and the evil are beautifully mixed and climaxed at just the right time. Made you feel the way you feel when you first started reading The Sorcerer's Stone a few years back.

 

I sort of gave up on Rowlings after Order of Phoenix and worst, Half Blood Prince. For me, Half Blood Prince (that I paid more for being in the waiting list before the pre-release) was badly written. None of it made sense. Little things happen didn't get to be explained towards the end. But the Deathly Hallows explained it all. Deathly Hallows even made me wanna read Half Blood Prince all over again, even so I despised Half Blood so much before.

 

Rowlings does get her claws back!! And I have no surprise that people will ask her to write for more.

 

(For you who are not the fan of Harry Potters, this is the list of the series)

 

1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (or some titled it the Philosopher's Stone) - movie made but go read the book. It is less than 1 inch thick but it is the most wonderful book. Made you think of sekolah asrama for those who have been to boarding schools.

 

2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - movie made but I still like the book

 

3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. - movie made, thickness still less than an inch

 

4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - thickness start coming in, I did start getting bored

 

5.Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. - still thick, more boredom, movie made, not yet seen

 

6. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - like I said, the worst of all

 

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - i'll write as how Rowlings ended it, All is well.

What's Happening

I know. I know.

I know I didn't get time to blog about the vacation in Sydney, the work I did in Brisbane and both Newcastle outback.

I didn't even blog about whether I think Terengganu was ready for 2008 Year of Visit Terengganu.

There have been so much things happening around, with work, with bosses, with my family, with me. I'll list them down on point form, just to keep you in the loop, you know.

1. The shortage of fuel had made me work up to midnight at the office together with my boss. I basically cramped up all the things I've planned to do within 3 months into two weeks. Days were filled doing meetings, and the only time we can work is after 6. It was crazy, but it worth every effort. Things going on smoothly.

2. Bruce the Big Boss is totally losing focus of the time. He choses to chill out at Jakarta doing work that is supposed to be done by people three level lower than him, instead of staying here in the office completing a few more negotations. I wonder, what made him want to travel that much. It is sickening.

3. I figured out that I didn't have my sinus when we were in both Sydney and Brisbane. Think the air is much cleaner. And obviously, KL air is polluted.

4. I have 15 more days puasa to qada. I know. The number was 30 before, than I manage to reduce them to 15 just before I figured out that I am two weeks late!!

5. I did home test yesterday and figured out that, yes, I am pregged!!!!

There. Quite a news to you, eh..?

Happy Ramadhan.

Kudos to Sydney Airport!

Was away for two weeks working trip at the Down Under. Was at Brisbane for 5 days, then last week was at Sydney (travelling into the bush in between the cities' stay)

The flight to BNE transitted at SYD, which we were forced to go out to the transit lounge and underwent the tight security check. That was when I lost my mobile (not really, I 'll write about how I lost it next entry).

When I was taking the flight back to SYD, didn't get to check the Lost and Found cause I flew domestic.

Then, on the day going back to KUL, we plopped into Lost and Found at Sydney airport Level 3. Went in, the girl checked the computer and went into the store and came out with my Mini O2!!!! Don't know whether I'll find it again in another countries.

She was too busy then afterwards attending to other people. I didn't get to ask her who found it but to whoever found it, many thanks! To Sydney Airport, kudos!

What A Journey

First, I lost my passport. Didn' tknow where I put it.

Lodged a police report, then went to immigration, got the commission of oath thing, then found out that immigration needs my original cert berth. Which i misplaced, too.

Went back. Next morning searched for my birth cert. I found my passport. Cool.

Flight to Sydney then Brisbane. Strip searched at Sydney, lost my hand phone there!

I am homesick. It's no fun traveling alone. :(

And maybank credit card sucks! I ask for a temporary credit limit of a top up of RM7000, which means from RM5K to RM12k, and the girl had nicely put it as new credit limit is RM7k...

Penning off now..!!

My Weekend

The Man is gone for two days badminton tournament. The boy is down with fever. He screamed when I wanted to turn to NTV7 for my weekly, my only show, my 1:30 pm Grey's Anatomy. I only get to see it at 2:00, when his lids finally closed.

I switched on and Meredith was already taken out from the water by McDreamy. He fought for her life, then she was shoved into the ER. (So, you always get to be pushed out the ER when it is the one you loved inside there0 All the best guys were there, Chief, Bailey. Burke came a bit late with Shepherd's ex wife, while McDreamy was totally out of control until the steamy-Mark-Sloane came and held his shoulder, then he cried. Totally sad! But the men look steamier when they were sad.

I cried when Alex pasted on the board all the picture of the deads and the family broke down when they could ID them. It was overwhelming.

Chrstina didn't get to tell Meredith that she was finally engaged, that was why she was so sad. I immediately rememebered a special someone who wrote that one day when we were old and watching our grandkids playing, we will find out that we will regret things that we didn't say more than the things we did. Lebey kurang lah. Then I remember from the My Best Friend's Wedding (that still remain my favorite all time), "Say it, say it right there, or the moment will pass".

The doctors are also forgetting the war of the Chief-post. Shepherd is totally accepting that Burke is the best (which I agreed that Burke is the smartest and the best) when Burke came in to him knowing that Meredith is in the ER.

"She's in there".
Shepherd was silence, nodded his head. God his eyes were so sexy!
"What do you need ?", Burke.
"I need you to go in there".

This time, it ended as Meredith in a room with Denny Dequette (which Gartblue finds sexy and I cannnot really understand why) and the bomb guy. Tapi sure tak mati punyalah!

See you guys sometime.

10 Things I Hate About The New Boss

1. He showed his watch to us and said, 'This is not a real rolex, this is lolex only'. Everybody knows he doesn't buy cheap stuff.

2. He stayed away from us when we ate the durians claiming that it is making him nauseatic.

3. He said, "I want to instill the spirit of excellence performance in your mind" the very night we stayed up late just to welcome him after the BOD meeting and do his stupid post mortem.

4. He walked away when he is supposed to be the open forum panel. Takut la tu orang tanya pasal contracts! Penakut.

5. He walked away when he is supposed to be the open forum panel and told us that he just got to be there for a meeting with Legal. Everybody knows that the Legal dept is not CEO whose meeting can't be rescheduled. Penakut and ingat pandai.

6. He treated our VP, whom he had just found out that is the same grade of him, very badly. He didn't sit with him on the bus, he walked away freely macam tu je without properly escorting the VP. Kesian pulak tengok Dato' VP jalan sorang sorang.

7. He loves overseas trips. He tries to arrange as many that he can. Be it the 'fact finding mission' or the stupid FIDIC. People in procurement told me that he's been trying to arrange for overseas trips for FIDIC which is not neccesary.

8. He, after his 100th day, still didn't request for us to brief him explicitly of all the contractual terms. What he knows then?

9. He berlagak pandai in the price negotation meeting. Then bile kena hentam with suppliers on some facts, he stumbled.

10. He made us do 5S but look at his room, boxes laying around unpacked.

But when I looked at his face that was in pain, and thought of his lonely live without kids, I immediately feel the pang of sympathy in my heart towards him. Kesian gila tengok dia. Lonely, in pain and most apparently, not likeable.

Tough eh!

This Year Coal Retreat

I was around! I was around!

Been busy running the yearly retreat. I wrote about that two years ago, I wrote about another one last year. This year, I think, is the most efficiently organized.

I wrote Sihin a speech for dinner. In the dinner so-called-appreciation-speech, I made him thank Ida. Both were thrilled. Ida was thrilled. I think she deserved that.

I look fabulous during Dinner! hehe.. Ajin came over to do make-up for Ena and I joined in afterwards. She only spent like, twenty minutes, on my face and voila! I looked different. Everyone stopped (even the VIP table) talking and looked at me when I came in. I think I look too white and my hair was funny. Enjoyed it, anyway. Gartblue is the only mom-of-four who came and she looked like she was enjoying herself! Yang perempuan lain, tak nampak muka.

Jalilah (not a real name) was a realy bitch to us. First, she didn't help at all. Then, she didn't allow her staff help. Then she made us do that stupid 5S meeting and urged us for a minutes of meeting to be delivered to her on Friday, the day where we ran like cicak kudung making sure all the papers are organized accordingly into the folders.

Hodilay Villa Hotel (not a real name) was also a real pain to us. First, they told us that there will be a wedding a night before the conference. I always spent the night rearranging the laptops and wires and testing the AVs and all, but told my guys that we'll start at 11 pm after the dinner is over. However, at 9pm, we realized that there wasn't any dinner! I didn't want to fume much, we started right on and stopped at 2:30 something. I made everyone rehearsed and went through the programme over and over again.

I thank God that it went smooth, anyway.

After All These Years, I'm Still In Love With

Vince

He is the first winner of Akademi Fantasia.

His every concert in AF was absolutely fantastic. His voice, his dance, and most of all that I like is he enjoyed every bit of it. That is sincere. That is the true entertainer.

Amazingly, his video clips are even more enjoyable. There are stories in every of the clips. I know, the stories are lame, but it is better viewed rather than the clips where singer stood around a lake and sing or shake her booty.

After all these years, I'm still in love with him. Simply because I enjoyed the way he shows his passsion and his true soul. Bring me another winners, but everytime I watched his video clips, I still melt.

I Wish I Could Blog More Often

I am watching The Lake House while blogging.

I didn't get to finish the blog about Terengganu trip and how I thinnk they are not ready for Visit Terengganu Year 2007.

Well, I am actually amazed by the way GartBlue blogs. She is the one who actually dragged me to the whole idea of logging in to the net and write. Bitch, almost most of the time. But she blog almost everyday. And she had four kids! Read Four Kids!

I got one. Yeah I know.

Perhaps she blog in word doc first and cut n paste it later. But I don't like cutting and pasting. It's like, cheating, for me. I feel that I will be cheating the readers, not telling them what is going on in real time kinda way. It doesn't flow nicely from my fingers onto the keyboards. when I do it in word doc, I got time to reread it, adding here and there, correcting my spelling, trying to write more beautifully than what I am capable of. To tell my readers that I am not a better reader is a cheat. Unless I really do write beautifully like Gart.

Back to what I wish.

I wish that the internet connection is there whenever I logged into blogspot.

-- a caption from The Lake House---

"There was a boy before your dad"

"How come you didn't marry him?"

"So that you can ask me this question one day"

---

I wish there's a PC that doesn't take so long starting up.

I wish there's internet cafe at every floor of my favorite mall (Midvalley, Subang parade, Sunway Pyramid) so that I can just go in and write about the nice blouse that I just saw or a hefty price tag attached to one ugly skirt.

I wish.

My Pulau Kapas Trip

Next year shall be the visit Terenganu year.

I didn't know that until the cab driver picked us up at the Airport which was still under construction for upgrading. It was under construction as well when I went for the short trip in 2006. I wonder whether they will be ready for 2008 is speeding in six months time.

The cab driver dropped us of at a small, looks like a family run business, motel at Pantai Batu Buruk. I personally like the hotel. The pool is well maintained, the scenery of Beach stretched behind our room eventhough the coffee house is the simplest every facing a rows of Semi-Ds in construction. It's not that I hate chain hotels (after Paris Hilton got into jail), but this motel was special. It made me felt at home (with not so clean wall), comfortable and cozy.

Thursday morning was spent trying to go to the beach but at 9:00 at Terengganu, the sun is just eating you down at the beach. So we spent the time at the nice Pool which the kiddo didn't want to get in. We took off to Marang, booked the ferry and found a small gerai that served excellent Sotong bakar.

We took the boat ride quite shakily. It was fast, and the jacket was not properly fastened to the Kiddo. He was scared, I hold his chest and his heart was pumping heavily. I prayed hard and held him tight.

In fright we were until the boat reached the sandy long beach of Pulau Kapas. Have been there before so it was not a surprise to me, but The Man was. We checked and Duta Puri (known before as Tuty Puri) was a total frustration. It pissed me off to think how bad it was until it made me decide to defer my blogging post for now. Till later....

What's Happening

Last week.

Took thursday to friday off. To Pulau Kapas. Will write at length about that.

Last weekend.

Saturday touched down from Terengganu.
Sunday Saw Shrek3 with the Man.

This week.

Monday finished late. The Man got the Kid and brought him looking at me sealing the tender files into the box.

Tuesday. Was on my feet the whole day. Morning was spent photocpying the tender submission. Afternoon was spent photocopying some action sheet for submission.

Wednesday. Decided to spend morning helping Sihin got the documents signed. Afternoon, was computing the Rate but then saw that the figure was incomplete for Sept for one station, so got held up and waited until ida came back to finish up Sept and i knew she'll be adjusting the July and August figures as well. The date line, was however on Wednesday, too , but I figured out that I could only do that efficiently once her figures are well adjusted. Much correct, that way.

Thursday. Dropped the Kiddo at Tuk Mama's House and he refused to go down from my lap. Until Pingu started.
At the conference room at Residence Hotel with one Station. The Procurement guy was one hour late, held up everyone. Finished up at 4:30.
Arju made a good chairman, his persuasion power is different from Baie but still , had impressed me to bits.
Quickly drove through Sg Besi Highway fleeing back to office and got the refined figures from Ida. Fine tune the rates, making sure that all the rates are fine and the supporting documents are properly numbered, wrote the letter to let the boss sign. Drop a few notes for despatching and Ena to help me photocopying. It was hard, i know, without a surat menyurat clerk but we survive so far.

Friday. Again at the Residence hotel. Knew today would be the toughest. Had fiery discussion with manj but concluded before lunch. Again, thanks to Arju. Fooh...
Baie called, (the boss apparently nowadays check up on us on daily basis), and I casually said it was done and I'm going home to sleep. He said go take a break. Cool eh, when your boss pat your back that way!
Took two hours sleep before went back to Tuk Mama's place to pick up AZ.

Spent 20 mins checking on my Maybank2u and surprised to see that I hvn't checked for 1 whole months. Was fined RM5 for late payment to Visa, the account I direct debit for Touch N Go Zing Card. I knew direct debiting would create problem but decided to sulk in anyway since I was more afraid to reload the Touch n Go at the solemn quiet ATM.

Now I am back home, blogging at the Man's PC in AZ room, on his new table, with him playing his new Play-Doh, and surprisingly, letting me blog freely! I think we are slowly grooming him to be independent. He fumed just now when the daddy refused to change the DVD (of stupid CIA movie with hot sexy angelina jolie's sex scene with matt damon) to cartoon. The Man is apparently now do not abide to the Kiddo's wishes. He does what he wants to do, and let the kiddo knows who's 'da boss'. Well, Mommy , on the other hand always lose to the Kiddo and abide, anyways, with, "Yes son, you win!".

Gotta go play that orange Play-Doh after constants, "Mommy, mommy main la yang ni, please". I melt with that magic word.

My Prime Minister is Getting Married

Apparently, the most eligible bachelor in the country is taken.

His wife passed away a few years ago of breast cancer. She was worshipped as real fighter of the cancer. I wrote a blog on her.

So this new wife is very much like the old one. She's pettitte, a mixed blood, looks like she speaks english very well.

I 'd rather wait to see

1. how she would take the power off si Rosmah, the Deputy PM who is running the show on all social events.

2. how would she lead the nation as the first lady.

More is yet to see. Of course I want to see more is done beside promoting the local kebaya.

Other than that, my heartiest congratulations to the Prime Minister and I hope he finds his happiness.

Linkin Park’s Minutes to Midnight

This one is a bit different. It takes a while to fall in love but once you have fallen in love, you’d find out that the strength of this album, like the other albums is the fact that each of the songs is totally unique, arrangement-wise, vocal-wise and instrument-wise. It took me three rounds to fall in love and when I took time to really look at the lyrics and sing together, that’s when I realized that this one took a while to fall in love.

My favorite for the moment is the current hit single : What I’ve Done. Love Chester’s voice, love the piano. Then I love Chester low tone in In Pieces. The bridge’ guitar was fantastic, a bit 60s-ish turning to soft to medium rock but mellowy. Surprisingly, me, being and always being the Chester Benington’s girl, had fallen in love with Mike’s rough-but-smooth low vocals in In Between. This song is unlike other of Mike’s. I love Shadow Of The Day’s bass and when the violin hits towards before the bridge, it was awesome, almost like the climax of the album if any album would have a climax. I love the acoustic guitar (remind me of the kampong boys’ guitar kapok) in The Little Things Give You Away. They finished the song after coming back visiting New Orlean’s left over of Katrina’s.

The emotions carried through the whole album were very much different from the previous albums. Very little anger but a lot more frustration, pain and disappointment.

The album cover was a bit dull, I guess, but each of the pages are just like the songs, unique, different, but in harmony with each other. Lovely. Seemed that LP wanted to remind me a lesson long forgotten, never judge a book by its cover i.e. never judge our music by our cd cover.

With this, I pledged to remain as Linkin Park’s girl for quite a while.

It Gets Ugly When You Say It's The Mightiest

Remember high school when there are bunch of girls who had boyfriends and constantly talk about nothing else but the boyfriends?

They compared boyfriends, what they do to them, what present they got for the girls, what present they wanna get for the guys. When they went for a soccer match, their eyes were on their guys, and when they hit back the dorms, they just couldn't stop talking about the cool thing the guys did during the match, or whether their guys winked to them or not, or whether they caught their guys flirt with girls from other school.

When they opened their eyes on weekends, where there is no room check, and it's the boys outing day, they would just lazying around in their beds and started to think whether their guys will bring them a bar of Cadburry's for them. If by end of the day, the bar of Cadburry's were passed to them by a junior, they will call the other girlfriends, happily, and eat together.

It gets ugly when one of the guys dumped one of your girlfriends and they, away from the girl who just got dumped, gossiping around. "My Nik won't do that, he's too nice and couldn't afford to lose me". "My KDY (another favorite thing to do, nick name your guy) the other day send me a note saying that if a girl is selfish and concentrate too much about her and her only, he'll leave the girl". "My Jon (another favorite thing, naming your guy by your NKOTB's favorite), is better, he said that politics will determine what kind of girl he wants to date, and that's why I'm stick to the current state government".

It gets uglier. "How could he? My Nik won't judge a girl by her political interest. It's absurd". "You know what, my KDY is better, he loves the girl as she is".

When the word better, greater, nicer, much caring, much loving got spread around, people tends to defend their crushes and start competing to each other on how lovely can their crushes be.

I guess that is how the war of religion started.

Sad, isn't it, that when people start fighting in the name of God but God in the first place, had never created war and hatred.

Nice Weekend

Took Thursday off and took parents to Mines Lake Tour (was supposed to be Jalan TAR's visit but the crying Azeuchry called us back).

Friday. Visited my grandmother's little Sister. Both husband and wife are now on Severe Stage of Alzheimer. They stayed with their two single girls. They can't remember faces. They remembered old stories. The wife apparently still can talk but the husband had lost his talking skills. Both had lost the basic skills like going to the loos, asking when they are hungry and of course, loving.

I pitied the girls much more. The youngest one, especially. She is my age. At the age of 30, I could go out and buy things that I want, I have a husband to hug and hugs me back, I have a kid to love and loves me back. God! I have so much more than Ateh Ya has. She doesn't even watch TV. The time is occupied cleaning up after the parents, cooking for them, cleaning up the mess they purposely created. Other than that, she just had to look at them sitting on the sofa not talking to each other.

All of us were overwhelmed with various feelings.

After the parents gone back home, the Man decided to cheer me up and drove to Genting. We arrived around 3:00, bought tickets for Outdoor park and dragged Azeuchry around. I counted and towards the end of the day, we had four rides altogether: The Ferris Wheel (mommy, daddy and Azuechry), Teacups, Jumbo and Train.

Saturday. We stayed home and Mommy cook delicious mee soup.

Sunday. Ironed the weekend's shirts. We did up the garden a bit and went to Kamarul's son's wedding. Came back and saw TV.

I must say it is rather a nice weekend because I got ahead of all the chores. It is nice to be finishing the chores and do nothing on Sunday but relaxing.

Nice weekend.

Recent Dewan Ulama

Read Utusan front page on the comments made by Perak's PAS representative on the recent Dewan Ulama PAS.
(Note: Dewan Ulama PAS is like the Perhimpunan Agung Umno where people of their parties talk speak out. It is always held annually)
(Note: PAS is the one of two opposing parties favored by about 30% of Malaysian populations. An acronyms of Malaysia Islamic Party, the members are all highly Islamic educated. The recent movement had seen the professional such as doctors, lecturers whose degrees didn't come from either Mesir nor Arabian Countries but have some sort of strong Islamic education)
(Note: These notes are the personal opinion of the writer)

I couldn't agree more of what was opined by Perak's PAS representative.

It is true that what PAS had been fighting for are all the wrongdoings by UMNO politicians, in reality, what of are the other governments in the world. Things like bureaucracy, autocracy, bribery, corruptions, cronies-conquering-the-must-lucrative-pots; diseases normally known to the society.

Through time, there's nothing different about PAS from the other opposing parties in the other regions.

What I feel PAS should be doing is actually highlighting to the society on the other issues that is more alarming. Like, the recent arguments about Internet Investment. Are they halal? Then, the ectassy pills. Have some sort of same pills existed in Rasullulah's time and what had Rasullulah said about them?

You see, PAS are not opined to state whether these are halals or not but highlighting to the people is something that they can do because they have all the expertise in house. Plus, they have the Harakah, the post that are purchased by not only members but also nons.

Instead of going on and on about how inappropriate for the government to grant licenses to these night club operators, they could talk about the similarities of ectassy pills with the alcohols.

Instead of going on and on about how cruel the government to allow these interest-fixed bank to operate, they could highlight to the people of the characteristics of riba' and how close or far the Internet Investment is.

It is sad to see how people use Islam to talk bad about the current government and do nothing to suggest the way forward of making things good. Our Malaysian Politics is unique of the others. Unlike the Democrat and Republics of the States, they very much fight for the same way but PAS has the advantages: the strong headed, Islamic background, clear faith and highly, very highly educated members.

Unless they change the way they are politicking, i.e. do nothing but condemning, they are not in the position of being unique.

Just my thought.

This Year Team Building

Day 1

We took off to Cameron Highland for our team Building this year. No spouses allowed but the new MD brought his, anyway. We took off right away after the so-called Seiri Activity for the Store.

Stopped by for a site visit which I enjoyed just because the Man's Nikon DSLR abilities and endurance were tested.

Ida drove slowly. Not like her normal-self.

Checked in. Had dinner, served, because buffet cannot be organized for a below 30 guests. Slow. Too much black pepper. Ate anyway.

The first session, the MD walked out and let us asked his wife questions. Only the kaki bodek did ask serious questions. We didn't bother. Among the answers which can bring your hair stand straight.
"He doesn't like children".
"He, like me, think alike. We don't like wet market. We've stopped going to market 15 years ago"
"We don't like people who talk aloud in hypermarket"
"We don't like children. They are humiliating. They are high maintenance. They are embarassing"
"We like other's people's children. We like playing with them. When they are dirty, we can just chuck them out to their own parents. But who do we chuck our own children to when they are dirty?"
I immediately walked out after that.

Then a few games kicked in. One I like is where you pasted a piece of paper at your back and people will take turns writing about what they feel about you. We did to others as well.

I got, "Helpful, sexy, sexy mom, gatal (what?), idea bernas, angelina jolie, hardworking , humble, playful, very dedicated colleague, good leadership but moody, baik hati, nakal ( i think the new MD wrote that), happy go lucky , fun, caring".

Ida got as much but among a few that we can't stop laughing is, "keras, suka belanja makan, suka tolong orang, lawak".

The Snobbish Cobbish Dick got, "Garang, garang tak bertempat, fussy, suka bodek boss".

I wrote, "Weird but fun to new MD".

The Lazy-TapiMauNama-Manager got, "cakap banyak , cakap tak serupa bikin , banyak plan, tak fokus".

We ended that night at Ida's room talking until 2.00 a.m. about the new MD, Snobbish Cobbish Dick and the Lazy-but mau nama-Manager and thought that they three have most of the things in common.

Day 2

True enough. There was a management test where they divide people by 16 categories and those three fell under one common box. I was alone, so did Baie. The rest of the group stand way opposite the three-stooges common box.

I thought we were super-duper brilliant in assessing people.

The girls spent the night at karaoke lounge whilst the men watched the ManUni humiliated by Chelsea. It was cheap, though, RM30 per hour. We sang our hearts out.

Day 3.

It went so fast because I got nothing to write. I couldn't wait to go home.

We stopped by to buy sayur, strawberries. I bought lilies (RM20 for almost 38 stalks) and roses (RM10 for 24).

The lilies were arranged in one vase, blooming steadily.The pink roses look pretty in another vase. Both are at the new work stations.

At least, there were good things to remember this year team building by.

Poem

A few crappy poems written when boredom visited during one of the Seminars attended. Fooh....

Empty Sky

Sometimes I feel the wide bright sky is empty
Sometimes the grey sky makes me happy
How are you?
Have I loved you enough?
Is there any room in my heart for you?

My heart turns away when you are there, waiting, loving
I feel that the eyes are still on me
The eyes are on me
Come towards me and hug me
Embrace me in your arms
I just want to close my eyes and sleep there




Ignorance by Anna Zahara

How come I'm not here
Mommy don't you hear?
Don't you want me?

Confusion
Thought people wait for me
What's stopping you, mommy?

Am I in plain ignorance?
That you are not prepared
Nor preparing

I will wait with love
For you to want me
cause I have faith you will




Plea

Do you hear me when I call you?
Do you hear my plea?
As my heart feel heavy from loving you
I plea that it will open its door to loving you
How could I forget such amazing first love
Come, shine on me
Pour rain on me, so I'l remember the feeling

How could you open my heart to him, not to you?
Are you asking me to plea? Hmm?

Shouldn't you be the one I love greatest?
Should you be the one in my mind?
The name I scribble most?

Come, love me so I'll love you
We should be together
I want to surrender myself to only you

Please stay..
My heart bursts open now
It only needs you to fill it up
How can people always talk about you with such punishments?
They deter me away from you
Where you should be the most loving one
I must stay away from the world
Whose perception is so wrong about you

Guide me
I only hear to you
Do you hear me when I call you?
Show it in the sky
I want to love you




Sifu

When you want to teach me wisdom
Instead I picked up patience
You might want to teach me speaking
Instead I picked up listening
When you want to teach me the meaning of urgency
Instead I have picked up wise thinking

What have I learnt
What have I become, what is me
I am thankful you are with me





What's The Fuss

My love
How come we have stopped holding hands
But I realized
We rarely do so before
So what's the fuss

My love
How come you have stopped
Buying me flowers
But I realized
You rarely do so before
So what's the fuss


Yield

Come
Sit by my window
Look out the grass outside
Do they smell?

Peep in
The carpet I have inside
What color do you see?

Yield to me
I want to love
The hero in my sky

The Devil Wears Prada

The book was among the first few I read. It was not really interesting, I thought. The ending was torturing, slow and dull. The bits about Jimmy Choos, Blahnik, Lagerfield, Channel was the only ones that keep me interested. (Me, being woman, of course)

So when they published the movie, I wasn't keen, at all, to go and see. However, when putting my booking fees for the latest Linkin Park (which is released today! yoohoo!), I grabbed a copy of the CD. Then I watched it on Sunday late afternoon, after Azeuchry finally settled to his nap.

I would give better better rating to the movie compared to the book. It is either I read the wrong version of the book, or the movie is awesomely brilliantly written.

The characters personalities remains, except for Emily whom in the book was 180 degrees nicer and much helpful.

Storyline was altered totally. Okay, at least 87% of it. Some of the powerful scenes were retained. For one, Andy lived with the boyfriend, but in the book, she Lily instead. Nate, the boyfriend, was very much existed via phones in the book, but he played a major role of you-are-sinful-for-being-workaholic in the movie.

And yes, Miranda Priestley, her character is the most powerful, most enticing and courageous. The book had her ended as the ever-evil woman but the movie justifies her Snow-Queen personalities, her judgement. The movie also portrayed her as a good mother, a wife seeking attention and she had a soft spot for Andy, unlike in the book.

The final scene, where Miranda Priestly stood waiting for her car was actually the most powerful one, a complete turn around from the book's and the movie's. The book had Miranda stood in proud and arrogant, the movie had Miranda stood in proud, arrogant and winning-look given to Andy.

Meryl Streep is totally totally snow-queen, a lioness in the corporate world.

Complete turn around. I loved it, anyway.

Attention Seeker

The Prime Minister was caught dizzy when having function at the ever hot Lumut.

The previous Prime Minister then got sick a day after that.

Isn't attention the best possesion ever?

What CDs are Currently in My Car?

1. Newly purchased Chris Daughtry. It’s Not Over is my favorite but I am yet to listen to the whole CD. Rating pending review.
2. Newly purchased Gwen Stefanie, Sweet Escape. Yet to listen.
3. My Chemical Romance (The Man’s). Hated the group, hated the vocal, the unharmonic strings but saluted the video clips and few songs. Cancer is actually my favorite.
4. Dewa 19 – Title can’t be recalled. An Indonesian groupie, they have actually the best arrangement through out the whole album. My favorite is Selimut Hati, which has superb piano. They made me think hard on how few Malaysian’s album can be that amazing and satisfying. My appetite has never be satisfied until I listened to Dewa 19.
5. Ungu – another Indo groupie, few of their numbers are being played on the radio on daily basis but I am hooked with a few ones.
6. Of course, THE album of all, Evanescene. Loved it, loved it, loved it! Eventhough I love the last album more, but this album too is not disappointing. My favorite is Lithium, you can actually listen to it until your hairs stand straight and you can almost feel the pain in your heart. Fabuloso!
7. Cinta The Original Soundtrack – My favorite is Anuar Zain’s Kehilangan (told you I am a piano-only-freak!). You listen to it without watching the movie, you’d feel something. You listen to it after watching the movie, you’d feel the world. There is another happy number by Shahnon, (title can’t be recalled) which was chirpy, a bit like 60s, absolutely creative, and like my son called it, ‘happy song’.
8. You’re Beautiful Compilation – just so that I could listen to Daniel Powter’s Bad Day on any bad days, and Shakira’s Hips Don’ Lie everytime I need to shake my boddyyy.
9. Another compilation which has Azeuchry favorite’s number, Shayne Ward’s No Promise. Don’t ask. He could listen to it over and over again all way from Sunway back to Bangi through the LDP hectic jam. Sigh. However, it has Beyonce’s To The Left which I kinda love cause it is so catchy, lyrics are in-denial and vocal is of course so booti-licious-ful.

I am Bored with my Own Blog.

Was talking to dzilizs yesterday, whom one if my favorite blog visitor. Telling her that perhaps, I should write a fantasy blog.

I’m getting bored of writing the same old things about my life. (Another sign that I am actually bored with my own life?). The same ol things, the work which undoubtedly I love, the long travel from home to work, what happened daily, how I feel towards things daily. I can’t write about the organization much, the Man was scared that somebody will find out and report it off. I was scared, too, if the media found out what is actually going on in my organization and the share price will drop like crazy. Just for one blog! Haha. I can’t write about my sex life, it’s too private. I can’t write about what I feel about certain religions.

So, I thought of coming out with a fantasy blog. Whatcha think?

It can be about a superstar or a famous actress who was married to the same people in the same industry but found out that her love actually belongs to someone else. She secretly is loving that person, admiring that person from far but still being a good wife. Everything was fine until one day she found out that the person was actually in love with her too. Then the drama starts to happen. She risks her career, her children, her wealth.

Or I can write about a prime minister’s daughter who was in love with her own bodyguard. Err… plot sounds familiar! Chuck out! Chuck out!

Or I can write about three friends who went to high school together, then living lives separately but keeping each other informed on each other’s activities, hopes, dreams, frustration, whom they vote during election, everything else under the sun.

A normal life is too common. I need drama.

*sigh*

Not long after I turned 30, few major things happen:

The manager post promised to me had to be given away based on seniority eventhough the person is new to the department.
A friend whom I really looked up to hopped to a new job and he was shocked to find out that I am underpaid! I was shocked as well!
All these happened on the week that my contract with the organization ceased, meaning I was given choice to leave.

So what is the universe trying to tell me.

That friend was really really supportive. He mailed me a posting from Jobstreet the very next day, signalling that he really wanted me to move, to try new things, to get paid accordingly. He had been saying the same things for very long time.

I thought that through.

And after good consideration, I decided to stay.

He'll be furious. He'll be furious knowing that I am comfortable where I am. That I am still loyal to the company who underpaid me, that am loyal to my boss who decided to give that post to a new person, that I dare not stepping out from the box.

*chuckled*

Spidey

We saw the Spiderman-3 last Friday. I had to say that after the 10th minute, I got really really bored. Then it sorta kick off in its own way.

Peter (Tobey McGuire) character is very much the same, the nerd who then revenged for his Uncle Ben’s death. However, in Spiderman-3, Peter is very much famous compared to MJ, unlike in Spidey-1. The fame has taken away his time with Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) along with his judgment. It then, with the help of that thingy from outaspace, made him a different person, kinda bad person.

It’s funny though when people portray Superhero as noble, he who can’t do bad or feel bad things and to justify his wrong-doings, we must blame it to an external factor, i..e in this case, an alien possession. I clearly remember what an old friend told me that he doesn’t believe that Satan exist, (btw, where are you now Vanan?), that satan is just created in human’s minds to justify all the wrong doings they have done. It’s like, hey I didn’t mean to hurt you but Satan whispered something to my heart that made me do it. I somehow bought over, not to the idea of inexistence of Satan because they were mentioned in all the holy books, but to the accountability man can put off when it comes to their own wrongdoings.

Back to the Spidey-3. I feel that Harry Osborn (James Franco) character can be polished a little bit more. His behavior when ‘woke up from the amnesia’ is drastically changed and unlike his Father, he tends to sway away from one mood to another that easily. Not really smooth.

But I like the idea that all bad guys turn bad for reasons. The trauma they had when they were small, the Shame Attack at work (eventhough for Spidey-3, it is not really a big deal), the misunderstandings over friends or family, the poverty, etc. However, towards the end, there are always choices to make, whether you want to stay bad or you want to clear things up and be good again. Even Super-Bad-Guy (the inverse of Super-Hero) had reasons, and had choices. This Spidey-3 explained that in the clearest way I’ve seen so far.

In short, things I’ve learnt from the Spidey-3:

1. Forgiving ourselves is very much harder than forgiving others. Once ourselves are forgiven, we could somehow forgive others that easy.

2. A husband has to put his wife before himself. Likewise, I think, in any relationship, we gotta put that someone before ourselves, then it will be a meaningful relationship.

3. Revenge is just a poison killing no one but ourselves.

4. Work will always got in a way of a relationship. Especially work that comes in the forms of telecommunication i.e. cell phones. *chuckled*

5. When troubles come in a relationship, people work things out instead of walk away. Unless you are forced by the Goblin Junior.

6. Love to the children can be the highest form of love on earth.

7. Proposal, should and must be done, in a proper way venue with a proper way thought properly (remind me to teach Azeuchry this when he has a girlfriend). And saying that it is not Asian Culture is a definitely a No-No.

So long!

7th Year and I am a FREE bird!

Today marked the 7th year of me working at this organization, and guess what, it marked my cease of working contract!

I am now free to go, whenever I like, no string attached, no monies to pay back.

Happy Birthday To Me

My birthday was on 28th April. Yes, the big three o.

People this year celebrated it earlier or much later.

The office celebrated it four days earlier. I had my ice cream anyway.

The Man celebrated it two days earlier. We went to see a movie, then had dinner at Chillies. It was fun.

Ex boss is throwing me a birthday bash 5 days after at TGI Friday PJ.

Exactly on my birthday, I met my parents over my aunt's housewarming-do. Didn't get much wishes that day. Plus we were busy with the lunches.

I feel old.

The Man got me a birthday card purchased at memory lane, exactly the same one he got me last year. Proved that he is loyal. He got me a book, "Honk! If you are a Malaysian". He bought me my weekend bag, after the one I used for four years can no longer be fixed.

A Hero In My Sky

So, JFC is finally transferred, he'll be at the new department for a few months before he finally retired. The new department, is apparently, more like a Cold Storage, the kind of department where people create to place people whom are no longer needed.

We knew that he won't be given a proper retirement party. We then decided to throw him a hi-tea, which was last Friday.

It was indeed, a good one.

Firstly, me and The Man had been working on two weekends on getting the pictures converted into video file, zooming out or in, then The Man cracked his head in getting the whole video files into one movie. We added Evanescene's My Immortal and My Chemical Romance's Cancer. I cried many times, even when choosing the song.

So the video started with his name and titled, A Hero in Our Skies. What was his achievement, his passion (mountain climbing and all the other outdoor activities), the team building activities (Jeram Besu, Sungai Perak). What he is known to us, a person who inspired a balanced life i.e. he is the first MD who introduced Personal Goals in KPI, you declared what you’ll achieve personally in that year and rated yourself at the end of Fiscal Year. Then I had each of our photos, including the one that had moved out, with what their think of him, some of us didn’t need the opinion statement to be printed out next to their pixture, I put Baie as the person who holds the fort when JFC was in trouble.

Then, he gave his speech. First he thanked us for the video, he said as usual I never fail to made him cry. Then he talked about what was his journey in the organization (told you, he knew there’ll be no retirement party for him, thus he took this opportunity), he even thank the organization for letting him grow. Then he mentioned a few names that has made this subsidiary, the first MD, the Lady Manager who was efficient and somehow set the working culture here, Baie and Nooras for being knowledgable, and surprisingly, my name. He mentioned that I am the soul of the company. I laughed.

The he talked about the long, painful Domestic Inquiry. He mentioned the names that worked for him, days and nights and again, my name being mentioned again. He paused, many times, before the reservoir broke. Many of us broke, too. Even the guys. He cried, and said, “Clipperseep, I don’t intend to embarrass you but your tears are actually your strength”.

We cried.

Then we ate, the Singgahsana’s laksa was divine. We took picture, which then The Man came to become the photographer. Towads the end, each one of us lined up and shook the departing MD’s hands. We hugged and laughed, and it actually felt good to end it with laugh.

As we end our journey in any organization, we will want to end it with high note. Don’t think this is the case for JFC. But, personally, I think he had been a good friend, an inspiring leader and a strong soul. He has taught me many things that life offered.

Good bye JFC. You are a hero in my sky.

Growing Old and Growing Wiser

These are among the events Clipperseep remembers that made me wiser:

• The fight with Lynn. Eventhough she started it, eventhough she was the one who came in and stormed right to my face, I always believe that if I didn't yell back, she will still be talking to me. I've learnt to control my anger, to remain calm and to just listen to the opinions offered. That was why when an old clerk, the then-Mizanoi came right to charging me stuffs, I remained calm.
• Along's death. I've learnt that chemo hurts, and it hurts the people around too. I've experienced of being helpless seeing someone who has done much to you suffering in pain. That was why when Ikram, Jiji's brother was sick, I couldn't bear to just go there and talk to her. She was in much pain, just like the brother's.
• Amat. I've learnt that friendship between two men can be broken over a girl. The girl was me. I sometimes wondering what'd happened if I chose Amat over Nizam. Would I end up with the Man, too, whom I met after I left Nizam?
• Ever-controlling Alang. I've learnt that I can't help my mom much if she choose not to do anything with the situation. That my role is just there to listen, not to improvise things. That's why when Yan came over me telling how she has fallen in love with someone else, I choose just to listen. And listening, I am, until now.
• Joe-whom-didn't-watch-his-back: I've learnt a lot. First, you can only knew the true friends once you are in deep shit. Second, the friends who still love you will be very much 'panas telinga' when people keep talking about you and your fault (by this I mean the Finance and Audit people, so that I will not be misunderstood). Third, if you hang on to God, you'll be safe.

These are among the major events, from 1997 up to 2007.

Feathers

A famous story goes like this.

A girl has told rumours about many people to different many many people.
She then was asked to carry a bag full of feathers and place the feathers in front of everyone's door. Like the rumours she used to tell, she obediently place the feathers at all the doors.
She then was asked to collect all the feathers.
When she came back, all the feathers were already gone, swept by the air, passed from other door to other door, stuck to anyone's shoes and brought over to other town.

Just like rumours, or wrong perception. It gets to all people. By the time you knew that you have spread the lies, it was already too late. No professional damage control can be done. No more.

I am reminding myself to always check the source before spreading the rumours.

Farewell CD

The Man did one for Sob's before.

Joe's farewell party is coming soon. So, we've spent last weekend going through each pictures to make a the farewell video.

Songs we choose are:
firstly, My Immortal by Evanescene.
then, Cancer by My Chemical Romance.

Cancer, I think, best described my feelings towards what's going on.

It was written about a guy who's dying of cancer, where the hairs have abandoned his body, and his body was soggy from chemo (n, a long enduring pain, forcing someone to go through the pain knowing that it might not work at the end).

"The hardest part of this is leaving you"

Boy and Girl Conversation

Girl: Gosh! The washing machine just doesn't work. The oil was too oily. I got pimples. The newspaper was rained on. The boss doesn't see me. I was invisible. The CD player was broken. The car started making noise.

Boy: *listen hard*

Few minutes later.

Girl: *lying down, tired face, hardly smile*

Boy: Why Girl? Something bothering you? Are you tired

Ughh!!!!!!

Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

Tercipta Untukku

(Yan's current lovesick song. I, on the other hand, really think the piano arrangement is excellent)

by Ungu

Menatap indahnya senyuman di wajahmu

Membuatku terdiam dan terpaku

Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah

Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku


Banyak kata yang tak mampuku ungkapkan

Kepada diriku

*violin here*
Aku ingin engkau selalu

Hadir dan temani aku

Di setiap langkah

dan meyakiniku

Kau tercipta untukku

*drum only came here*
Aku ingin engkau selalu

Hadir dan temani aku

Di setiap langkah

dan meyakiniku

Kau tercipta untukku

Memo

Dear
all personnel from the departments who think they are better than anybody else in the organization.

I don't care if your job is to find people's fault.

But I am sick if your attitude is to find people's fault!!

C'mon. You carry your heads above your body, smiled arrogantly to people whom you barely know and hissed like a snake when they walk out from the lift. Simply because:

1. you know that their boss had screwed something

2. you assume everybody else in the same department are screwing the organization's rules

3.you think their operation is in the mess, that they are not organized, and they do not know what they are doing.

4.you think their business is easy, that you can do a better job.

5.you don't think they could produce evidences whenever you ask for ones.

6. you don't trust these people. even if they told you that they have donated blood or fought in a war, you would still seek for evidence.

Hello!!! Even the nation is moving to a trusting nation, they no longer need the proof of book receipts and all when submitting income form. We are accusing the Governemnt as slow, full of red tapes and all, but hey.. my organization is worse, man!

'They' have reported that we are formidable, you know. 'They' have reported that there's no one better to do this job but us. 'They', who sit outside of the company. And you, the so called brothers, are so negative. You know what 'they' say, 'they' say that the only thing stopping us from getting the cheapest is because of the red tapes.

You see, if you keep behaving this way, 'they' will ask an equity of our department and we'll be free from all these red tapes.

Just watch this space!

Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

Weekend

We had a long weekend.

Friday was the first. We spent the day emmm lemme try to remember, at home. I cook sup daging for lunch and a baked macaroni for dinner. I substituted the usual frankfurter with real beef, and added in some asparagus. Bolehlah... the Man liked it, that's the most important.

Saturday was spent at the Man's relative gathering. Needless to say, being called fat said it all.

Sunday was home anyway. We woke up early for aerobic at Tamen Tasik Cempaka, and Azeuchry was a bit cranky. I cook Mee Rebus for lunch (and in bulk so that I can cook for dinner), sent some to Yan at Uniten and watched the torterous (sp?) AF5 concert. The only good vocal I think was si Ebi.

Now, can someone tell me on why didn't Azeuchry afternoon-nap during all these three precious, supposed-to-be-relaxing days?





Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

Akademi Fantasia

So now it is already AF5. I didn't follow the Prelude Concert, and by the time I knew it, there were already 4 kicked. Sweet..

Tonight, along with Maulidur Rasul, they invited Mawi and Nazri of ex Raihan to come over and celebrate. I thought it was nice, to be reminiscing of home and the way we celebrated with the orang masjid with pulut and ayam rendang.

I notice that the non Moslem girl was taken out when Nazri did his usrah and Mawi sang his nasyid songs. I would do the same, requested to be taken out if someone preached about their religion. Or else the parents will go mad the next day.

Oh ya.. I think I personally loved Ogy. She is, as always, over reacing but she is straight forward, sincere and didn't use words like Simon Cowell's " just out from the jungle" "unbelievably horrible".

Am I That Visibly Fat?

I was dumbfounded at a family gathering when The Man's cousin touched my hips and commented that I should lose some, before my second pregnancy.
Another reason why I hate family gathering.

I decided to list down the people who have told me that I am fat:
Ida: Once, Sob commented something on me in a positive way, I was so sure it was the way I combed my hair, and she bluntly laughed it off and said I was fat. Fat is exactly the word she used. She also made remark on all the clothes I wore practically every day.
Baie: He now called me by the name Sponge Bob.He dashed in the room and shrieked, "Mana Sponge Bob?" whenever I was not there.
The Man's Cousin, Ayu, who Did My Wrought Iron Gate and Messed the Color: Brilliantly gave me the ideas to lose some weight before pregnancy. Err. She was also the same girl who commented how fat I when Azeuchry was inside my womb. Can't blame her though. She is an Olive Oil, the Popeye's Girlfriend.
Alang: Who else would pinch my cheeck but her everytime we come home?
Raymond: He kindly didn't say it in front of me, but in front of Ida who made it the joke of the week.
Bakar and the bunch of guys from Bin Power: They thought I was pregnant and kindly said congratulations. Blluuhhh

There are also people who never said that I am fat:
Of course The Man: He however supported me everytime I announced that I am to go on diet.
Alfifa: She realized that I gained weight but never said it out loud. She even encouraged me to go on diet just after I mentioned it.
Syima: A good friend never said it out loud. She is just the one.
Yan: Went down to JB to see her but she didn't say a word. Perhaps because she is, too. *Sigh*

I fumbled upon what Ayu said and ate the Indomie Goreng The Man just made. Slurpp... and now is 11:00 p.m.


Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

My Will

A few had commented on why did I write such thin in my previous entry , My Will.

Thing is, I don’t know what triggered me.

It could be the palm.

I know it is wrong to believe the palm reading. My palm was read when I was 15 by a Chinese karate-do friend. It is said that I didn’t live long.

Recently, my palm was read by an Indian palm reader. (that sounds like PDA). She was shocked to see that I am still alive to now. She said that according to the lines, I should have gone when I was 28.

I didn’t believe in those two. Yet,, didn’t it occur to you that you could go when you are 28. What’ll you do if you know?

It could be the organ donor.

I am arranging an organ donor campaign, which specify that your organs will be disseminated to those who is in much need. So, what if I go now? Will they delay my funeral ? what’ll The Man feel knowing that he should wait for my organs to be distributed to bury me?

It could be the prayers answered.

Early this year, I prayed hard to Almighty that He’ll show me sign that I need to feel closer to Him. Perhaps, this is the sign. Perhaps, by thinking of death made me think of Him more.

It could be ‘the friend’.

You see, I had a friend whom I really treasured but work in a ‘competing division’. ‘Competing’ is not really the word but if I reveal more, he’ll know. He is one of who I respect most for his wit, his generosity , the one who introduced me to blogging. He has been complaining about his boss, who have been kicking around unpleasantly. We both agreed that the boss is an arse, until recently he turned his back on me and join his boss kicking us. I couldn’t just believe it. I couldn’t deny that I feel that I am backstabbed. I couldn’t. I don’t know why, but it hurts me deep now that he has done it. Least thing I could do is believing that he knows what he is doing. So what is that get to do with dying? Thing is, that really put me down, I feel so disappointed to the points that I nearly cried. Perhaps my mengada self was thinking that if I die, will he know that he has made me sad?

Okay. Enough reasons.

Thinking about it, when we were in boarding school, everytime we were about to go home for semester break, everytime that I wait for the 5:30 bus to come and pick us to Puduraya, I will always think that how if I die on road? Thus, you may find a letter in my locker to my family and friends, saying how sorry and much I love them, that little things they do for me are valuable. Two reasons : One I really believed that I might die on the road. Second, the whole hostel seemed so quiet when everybody has gone home except for the North and East students. The whole quietness always seemed to bring my thought to death.

I know a few of you do not like it when my blogs seems gloomy. You guys like funny stories, the cutu things that little boy did, the hot gossip, the bitching.

We’ll have a lot more than that.

My Will

Don't know why but I feel that I must have a will written. Not excatly a will but something that will prepare The Man if I am gone suddenly.
Why not gone suddenly? Roslan passed away a week before his wedding. Roslina passed away about four days before Aidilfitri.
I just pray that mine will be quick and peaceful, that I will go without much trouble to people around me.
Material wise, I have two insurance. One shall cover my Mak Lang's medical expense. Another one is Azeuchry Education Fund.
My saving is only in ASB, which I believe will fall under Abang's care. After settling some of my debts, if there's any, it should be divided to four, to be distributed evenly to Arris, Yan, Ida and Azeuchry.
Azeuchry has an account at Tabung Haji. Abang should dedicate each month to this account.
My KWSP is 50 Mak and 50 Abang. I think so.
My car is for Arris, should Hamdan is back and want to use his car back. Meanwhile, Ida or Yan can use them.
My jewelleries are not much. Half of it is Abang's gift, which abang can decide whether to give to either of my or your sister, or keep for your next baby girl. Except for my wedding ring, which shall be passed down as Engagement ring for Azeuchry when he wants to propose to the girl he loves one day. Of course, the name can be erased...
Those that are not abang's gift, shall be passed to Mak, she'll know what to do. Except for my newest pair of earing, can you pass it down to Yan at JB for Yana when she grew up. Yan has one pair too.
My perfume bottles, if there 're much in it, shall be passed down to Kak Ida. She is fanatic when it comes to perfume.
All my make up shall be passed to either Yan, Ida (like they need it!) or ena and kana at work.
It is important that all of my items are discarded. Most importantly are the clothes. The kurungs and scarves can be passed down to my sisters and Jaja. All of other clothings must be discarded, thrown away or given away, inclusive of shoes. It is important, abang, that you get the wardrobe cleared. Trust me that you won't feel like doing it, but the sooner you do , the better it is for you. Please promise me that you'll clear things out.
I have a few possession which are others. Books (lit chic) are all Dayang's. Please return to her with a bunch of lilies.
Some have owed me RMs. Please just halalkan for them.

Please promise me that you'll take Azeuchry back home to my parents. When he know what school is and what flag is, please ask Apak to take him to my old school and show him the flag pole. Ask Apak to tell him a story about me and the flag.

There's another picnic spot , Lawin, that I never got chance to bring you. Please go whenever you can. It's different from Lata Kekabu but you'll enjoy it. :)

And abang, do whatever you want to do at the house. I am no longer there to stop you from doing anything, then you shouldn't stop yourself from doing things that you have always wanted to do, like buying the carpets you like. But one thing, please keep the garden clean and tidy. It's one place the we both build together and it is my favorite place. You may wanna rearrange the plants or discard some but promise that there'll be grass, always. Do not be afraid to move to a new house, if you want to do so. I shall not be mad or anything. It has been a life we shared, now that I am no longer a part of it, why should I refrain you from doing anything else.

Azeuchry should not be forced to remember me, but when he is big enough to say prayer, please teach him how to say a prayer to me, so that all my sins will be forgiven. Only his prayers are answered, other than my amal jariah and ilmu yang berguna , which I don't have much.

One day Azuechry will get to confusion, that he is suppossed to remember this woman called Mommy but he couldn't remember any part of the past about her, tell him not to worry. That it is okay for him not to remember me. I just want him to be happy, and seek no entanglement from him. There are few movies that I want him to watch, Stepmom and Cinta. I'll come out with a few list if I have sometime.