Honesty in Blogging

Who Actually Read This Blog and Why Do I Care?

My hubby was wondering whether a blog that I wrote about his friend
finally got to the friend's attention. I'm sure someone will get hurt
reading my blog.

That brought me to my own issue. The initial intention of having a blog
is so that I will have an online journal / diary that I can easily write
to, it's there anywhere I go (I mean, I don't have to bring the whole
thick diary with lock and key and pen to the jungle of Kalimantan when I
have an online blog) and I can chose the friends whom I like them to
read with (remind me to write about a bestfriend of mine, Yan, with whom
I exchanged diary when we were 14 and found out that we actually liked
same guy! Hahahaha)

SOMEHOW, I sometimes found myself scrambling for words that can present
my thoughts or my feelings a lot nicer that what I actually
thought/felt. It was like I tried writing and being careful of not
hurting some people at the same time. Can it work? I don't think I can.

So, I've decided to put away of what people think of my entries and put
my Feelings and Thoughts first. After all, it is my blog, isn't it? To
prevent people from being hurt, somehow e-assaulted over my blog, I will
only reveal this blog to those who I can be really really frank with,
who understands somehow or rather why do I feel crappy about some
stuffs. Let's see who will be in the list..?

First, it would be ( or not?) my husband, who is nowadays is my
bestfriend. He is there to listen to when my Windows gave me problems
consistently. But, that will stop me from writing about guys I had crush
with, (or currently am having crush with ? hahahaha), memories I
treasure with the ex boyfriends.

Second, it surely be Yan (provided she has an easy internet access,
she's not really an IT savvy, that girl). Who else I am much comfortable
with other than the girl whose diary I once exchanged with?

Then it came Syima, the high school friend whom then was my roomate. My
god, she and I, we have been thru thick and thin. We've been thru the
pain and joy together, pain of losing, changing jobs, jumping in between
relationships. There's no one in this world she trust more than me. We
also share the same history, getting the hair rebonding at the same time
and same saloon, learning swimming at the age of 25 (!) together.

Next in the list will be Edina, whom was my classmate (sometimes the
only girl friend in the whole four years of Mechanical Engineering
program), my roomate and my shoulder to cry on when we were in college.
We went thru the first pregancy together, sharing the bitterness of hers
and joy of mine. She was there on my wedding, taking all the important
pictures, arranging them nicely in the album. One thing with her,
Edina, is her honesty. If you are looking for a friend who won't say
things you actually need to hear, she's the one. She is really , really
frank and straight forward. Kinda girl who pulled me up when I felt that
I was at the end of the world.

Surely no one at work will be in the list since I wanna talk sincerely
and honestly about how I feel on certain stuffs over work.

But Rohana, a lady whom I used to work with, shall be in the list. She,
God, she is what I want to be , how I wanna grow old like. I never heard
she cursed even how mad she was. She was understanding, was there
anytime I need someone to talk to. She's also GORGEOUS and beautiful,
the kinda of person who guys can never take their eyes of. An efficient
worker, the kind who is neat, smart, hardworking and very very
organized, just the kinda boss I want to be, one day.

I think that 'd be all. All the girls whose friendship I treasure most.
Lemme see whether there are more and will write once a name pops up.
Meanwhile, I can start writing honestly in my own blog. I mean, really ,
really HONEST.

Hmmm.. I am yet to decide whether the husband shall be in the list. :)