if you see a toddler eating an icecream or drinking his milk, would you be staring at him for hours?
but if you see a baby drinking his mom's milk, you would be, right?
why?
because the element of boobs is there.
how discreet the mom would be in nursing her baby, as long as it is done in public, the look is there. people, man and woman, elderly or teen, would cast at least a minimum of two glances.
if a mom manages to nurse and camouflage her doing in a very stylish manner where nobody would realize what's she doing, no stare, no.
but if a baby dozes off in mom's lap, and people passing by kinda guess that mom is nursing, then the heads will turn to catch the second look.
while i agree that showing off boobs in public is totally a no-no, i also realize that in order for one to nurse, she can expertly hide the flesh, the black aerola, and the tits from view of others. so why the stare? (so that you can catch a glimpse of the flesh? or the tits?)
its not that the mom is running around without bra and shirt.
i guess boobs always and will always be a sex object. i was in a room with 20 or so guy friends, asking around whether they are the boob or ass guy, only two say they favor the ass rather than the boobs. the rest, mostly malaysian with all the races available, prefer boobs.
men drool over boobs. small or big.
women, too, can't help but looking at other women's boobs, for comparison sake, i assume.
but when you are using your boobs to feed your child, and you feed him lovingly, and you know that the first six months is crucial for the child to drink ONLY from your boobs, you no longer see your own boobs as sex object.
therefore you feel that nursing in public is not a crime. especially when you can hide the flesh and the whole action expertly.
its not like you are trying to seduce the man who sat across the restaurant with his wife and three teens
its not like you are trying to stop the lorry driver in the middle of the pack-non moving federal highway.
so, shame not mommies, you are just delivering the babies the best thing in the world. that's the real reason why God created boobs in the first place.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Expressing Myself in Expressing Breast Milk
Adik Adam now drinks 4 oz per session. That makes it 24 oz requirement daily (DAY only). And mom here is panicking since mom now produces around 4 x 4 oz. Two frozen stocks are taken daily.
Weekends are now spent with DIRECT feeding to stimulate, but Adik Adam dozes off very quickly on mom’s boobs.
Looks like two-year exclusive breastfeeding is the major challenge for Mom.
Weekends are now spent with DIRECT feeding to stimulate, but Adik Adam dozes off very quickly on mom’s boobs.
Looks like two-year exclusive breastfeeding is the major challenge for Mom.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
My Interview (to climb up the corporate ladder, I guess)
The interview session last Friday was something that I want to remember. Herewith were the questions asked by the panel.
Z is my new boss.
S is the boss for 10 years.
R is totally a person who doesn’t know me.
R: So why you apply for the job? (please forgive me, but her English is bad. B A D, okay)
R:What you meant by career progression?
R: So if there is another post opening for Senior Manager in another unit in this organization, would you go?
R:This JD is prepared by this unit itself. Are you telling me this JD is wrong?
R: What do you mean by a Senior Manager’s main task is for more strategic direction of the business?
R: IF you have all these initiatives planned for the business, why don’t you carry them all in your current position? Why must you wait until you get this post to carry all those initiatives?
R:You know who applied. Of all these four candidates, tell us why we should choose you?
R: You is (she really said you is, I almost laughed looking at Z’s face) the one who has the most experience. What do you think is the biggest challenge of us choosing you?
Z: In terms of your performance, how do you think you’ll be at your current job if we don’t choose you? Will you be demoralized?
R: You know there is one candidate who is already doing the job, how do you think it would be if you get the post and he will be your subordinate?
S: You have gone through the mills. Operationally after these 10 years. Non operational tasks like the leadership and managerial are something you learnt by experience. Senior Manager is a different level of post. (And what is the question there, again, sir?)
S: Tell us how the others describe you. Precise and concise. (and just when I was about to open my mouth). Precise and concise. If the Committee (higher up) asked me who is this clipperseep, what should be my answer. Not what you want to be. But who you are. Are you the kind of person who listens. Do you have the guts to say NO. Do you have the guts to say NO politely. Are you a subject matter expert. How are you in terms of communication and interpersonal skills. (At this point of time, I really feel that he is answering the questions himself. Hahaha.. so that is who HE is. Determining what is my direction, what is my attitude.. huh)
S: There is no probation period for the Senior Manager post. You have to be there and perform the minute you are given the task. You talked about your challenge of handling elder subordinates. Why the lack of confidence? (I was about to answer, it is you , sir. I really feel that for the past six months, no , eight months, no ten months, it is really him who has pricked my confidence with all the criticisms and high expectations and no-more-pats-at-the-back-s)
S: How to make people work for you?
S: What drives where you are today and tomorrow? Is it position? Is it money?
R: In order for you to survive in this organization, you need to have something more than passion. I was myself at procurement division before, it was my passion. (really? I don’t need to know haha) but when I am transferred to HR, I was really demotivated. You have to have an open mind. You cannot have a closed mind by telling yourself that this is your passion. That will kill you one day if you need to survive in this organization. (and I answered,” if you catch the drift, my passion is the industry, not the organization, that is what I have been saying for the past 20 minutes or so”)
R: What is your plan in handling the more senior, in term of age, subordinate?
S: Sometimes it is good to be outside of the unit for a while and then come back to the unit. Where do you see yourself outside of this unit? (at this time I really thought he know what my plan is kakakakah orang bersalah selalu terasa , who eats the chillies have the burnt tongue kakakah).
R: You really think you are underpaid? What is your benchmark when you said that?
R: Well I don’t have any questions for you now. What is your question to the panel?
Z is my new boss.
S is the boss for 10 years.
R is totally a person who doesn’t know me.
R: So why you apply for the job? (please forgive me, but her English is bad. B A D, okay)
R:What you meant by career progression?
R: So if there is another post opening for Senior Manager in another unit in this organization, would you go?
R:This JD is prepared by this unit itself. Are you telling me this JD is wrong?
R: What do you mean by a Senior Manager’s main task is for more strategic direction of the business?
R: IF you have all these initiatives planned for the business, why don’t you carry them all in your current position? Why must you wait until you get this post to carry all those initiatives?
R:You know who applied. Of all these four candidates, tell us why we should choose you?
R: You is (she really said you is, I almost laughed looking at Z’s face) the one who has the most experience. What do you think is the biggest challenge of us choosing you?
Z: In terms of your performance, how do you think you’ll be at your current job if we don’t choose you? Will you be demoralized?
R: You know there is one candidate who is already doing the job, how do you think it would be if you get the post and he will be your subordinate?
S: You have gone through the mills. Operationally after these 10 years. Non operational tasks like the leadership and managerial are something you learnt by experience. Senior Manager is a different level of post. (And what is the question there, again, sir?)
S: Tell us how the others describe you. Precise and concise. (and just when I was about to open my mouth). Precise and concise. If the Committee (higher up) asked me who is this clipperseep, what should be my answer. Not what you want to be. But who you are. Are you the kind of person who listens. Do you have the guts to say NO. Do you have the guts to say NO politely. Are you a subject matter expert. How are you in terms of communication and interpersonal skills. (At this point of time, I really feel that he is answering the questions himself. Hahaha.. so that is who HE is. Determining what is my direction, what is my attitude.. huh)
S: There is no probation period for the Senior Manager post. You have to be there and perform the minute you are given the task. You talked about your challenge of handling elder subordinates. Why the lack of confidence? (I was about to answer, it is you , sir. I really feel that for the past six months, no , eight months, no ten months, it is really him who has pricked my confidence with all the criticisms and high expectations and no-more-pats-at-the-back-s)
S: How to make people work for you?
S: What drives where you are today and tomorrow? Is it position? Is it money?
R: In order for you to survive in this organization, you need to have something more than passion. I was myself at procurement division before, it was my passion. (really? I don’t need to know haha) but when I am transferred to HR, I was really demotivated. You have to have an open mind. You cannot have a closed mind by telling yourself that this is your passion. That will kill you one day if you need to survive in this organization. (and I answered,” if you catch the drift, my passion is the industry, not the organization, that is what I have been saying for the past 20 minutes or so”)
R: What is your plan in handling the more senior, in term of age, subordinate?
S: Sometimes it is good to be outside of the unit for a while and then come back to the unit. Where do you see yourself outside of this unit? (at this time I really thought he know what my plan is kakakakah orang bersalah selalu terasa , who eats the chillies have the burnt tongue kakakah).
R: You really think you are underpaid? What is your benchmark when you said that?
R: Well I don’t have any questions for you now. What is your question to the panel?
Monday, August 02, 2010
Walking Away, Step by step
Dear SBH,
This is perhaps the darkest hour of my life, where the toughest decision has been made and I choked myself everytime I bring myself to even start telling you.
You have always been the leader that I have high respect, admire and love for. Whenever you are in the boat, I would just close my eyes and jump right in. Since ten years ago, you have never failed to develop me. You are in the inspiration of anyone, of all lives that you have touched. I was lucky to spend the first ten years of my career life being mentored by you. You have never demanded the best of me but whenever you are the leader, I am always compelled to do my best, to supersede my strength. I always want to do my best, and did the best all the time. You allow me to explore my own strength, and further utilize my skills to get what I wanted. You let me be responsible of my own action, which outcome are always satisfactory results. And at the end, you are always there to pat my shoulder.
Like I said, I was lucky to spend the first ten years of my career life, mentored by you. I matured and learnt to grow my inner potential. It is a precious learning curve. I learnt to deal with difficult people, sensitive people, old people. I learnt to write. I learnt to make fast decision. I learnt to organize. I learnt to lead. I learnt to control my temper since you said that you lose the power of negotiation once you lost your temper. I learnt to always be true to my own words. I learnt that giving my 110% is just the right thing to do since the result is just fantastic. I learnt to enjoy my own result. I learnt to let other people to lead, in order to grow them. I learnt to let go of people, when they are happier at some other place. I learnt to manage without people, to make do of what I have. I learnt all these from you.
Other than those, I also learnt from you that… there are other things more important that work. There are family, parents, and health. I learnt from you that children are just the greatest rezki, gift from the Almighty.
However, through times, I have come to points that perhaps, despite the best that I have given, I have failed to be your best. I have failed to make decision like what you want me to make. I have failed to write the way you wanted me to write. I have failed to lead people who are older than me. I have failed to convince the opponents. I have failed to avoid mistake. I have failed to be diligent, to be careful. 8 or 9 years ago, I would always traced back the steps I made, analyzed where have I gone wrong and rise back to the occasion. I have always tried again and again. Until I won your approval. Until I made you feel proud.
Somehow, making you feel proud has always been my goal. Whenever you are the leader, I will never say no to any challenges that you have thrown. That is my strength, and true enough of what people said, our strength is always our weakness. . I have the weakness not being able to shut off and concentrate on my other responsibility. I have the weakness of exceeding your expectation as the priority and shutting of the rests.
My inefficiency have made me fail to juggle between doing my best and my other responsibility. And these next couple of years are the most crucial time for me to concentrate on my other responsibility.
I decided to walk away. And I have initiated a few steps that I can’t erase. I have used a few names that will be tarnished if I turn myself ‘round. Waiting for few phone calls. Once I am in, there is no turning back.
Somehow I feel that I am stabbing your back.
This is perhaps the darkest hour of my life, where the toughest decision has been made and I choked myself everytime I bring myself to even start telling you.
You have always been the leader that I have high respect, admire and love for. Whenever you are in the boat, I would just close my eyes and jump right in. Since ten years ago, you have never failed to develop me. You are in the inspiration of anyone, of all lives that you have touched. I was lucky to spend the first ten years of my career life being mentored by you. You have never demanded the best of me but whenever you are the leader, I am always compelled to do my best, to supersede my strength. I always want to do my best, and did the best all the time. You allow me to explore my own strength, and further utilize my skills to get what I wanted. You let me be responsible of my own action, which outcome are always satisfactory results. And at the end, you are always there to pat my shoulder.
Like I said, I was lucky to spend the first ten years of my career life, mentored by you. I matured and learnt to grow my inner potential. It is a precious learning curve. I learnt to deal with difficult people, sensitive people, old people. I learnt to write. I learnt to make fast decision. I learnt to organize. I learnt to lead. I learnt to control my temper since you said that you lose the power of negotiation once you lost your temper. I learnt to always be true to my own words. I learnt that giving my 110% is just the right thing to do since the result is just fantastic. I learnt to enjoy my own result. I learnt to let other people to lead, in order to grow them. I learnt to let go of people, when they are happier at some other place. I learnt to manage without people, to make do of what I have. I learnt all these from you.
Other than those, I also learnt from you that… there are other things more important that work. There are family, parents, and health. I learnt from you that children are just the greatest rezki, gift from the Almighty.
However, through times, I have come to points that perhaps, despite the best that I have given, I have failed to be your best. I have failed to make decision like what you want me to make. I have failed to write the way you wanted me to write. I have failed to lead people who are older than me. I have failed to convince the opponents. I have failed to avoid mistake. I have failed to be diligent, to be careful. 8 or 9 years ago, I would always traced back the steps I made, analyzed where have I gone wrong and rise back to the occasion. I have always tried again and again. Until I won your approval. Until I made you feel proud.
Somehow, making you feel proud has always been my goal. Whenever you are the leader, I will never say no to any challenges that you have thrown. That is my strength, and true enough of what people said, our strength is always our weakness. . I have the weakness not being able to shut off and concentrate on my other responsibility. I have the weakness of exceeding your expectation as the priority and shutting of the rests.
My inefficiency have made me fail to juggle between doing my best and my other responsibility. And these next couple of years are the most crucial time for me to concentrate on my other responsibility.
I decided to walk away. And I have initiated a few steps that I can’t erase. I have used a few names that will be tarnished if I turn myself ‘round. Waiting for few phone calls. Once I am in, there is no turning back.
Somehow I feel that I am stabbing your back.
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