Testing

Whether this works!

Lampe Berger

In the attempt of getting calm and composed, I have been sold a Lampe Berger and two bottles of its fragrances.

It's actuall an aromatheraphy thing, at very high end. One thing or things I like is

1. you no need to mix the oil with water

2. you no need to change the candle.

3. the oil won't spill because it's in container.

4. it smells bloody good!

I lit it up for about 20 minutes and the whole house smell. No kiddin!

So I've been trying to strike conversation(s) with The Man on how much does it cost, actually. However, the time never comes. And I don't blame myself for not telling him the real cost. Well, not telling doesn't mean I'm LYING. Plus, I got him his favorite, Citronelle, which smells more like buah limau busuk. I return it today and get myself a full bottle of Euclyptus, which is good for the sinus. Plus plus, the Man is caught with terrible flue every morning and didnt' that make me a good wife of trying to alleviate his pain? *kipas bontotku*

*phuuuwarghh*

*smirky face, I have*

The Verdict

So, the verdict of the 'wrongdoings' for the two bosses is out and the verdict is none other than guilty.

F**k!

They said the 'judges' read through their report, words by words and it sound just like the words coming from the Turkey Attorney. (Turkey as in the flabby old haggard chicken).

F**k!

I cried and cursed tremendously. If the judges made their judgement based on their own findings, I forgive them. BUT if they were ever under even a slightest instruction, I will not forgive them. I pray hard that they will be where the bosses be, and their children's will be experiencing the same, and their children's children.

The whole gang froze when they heard me curse. Some even tried to say, the bad things happen to this generation might be caused by the older generations. WTF!!

I think they froze because I didn't sound like me. I sound more like an old spinster stuck in a house full of cats who eats nothing but fresh fishes and the whole house smells that made nobody come to screw her.

So give me a few days to forgive. Or to become me again, the ever charming and demure Clipperseep who smiles a lot and has a heart as strong as steel.

What's Happening

I am bloody sleepy.
Am tuning up a Tender Document, and after two hours, I could just take my eyes out and let them swim in a cup of Nescaffe.

Today I am wearing a beautiful baju kurung, silk bought at Kota Baru.
I put my eye make up on. Think I look good in ash color.

Do you guys like kopi kampung? My favorite is Kopi Che' Nah. But couldn't find any either at Carrefour, Giant, or normal kedai ubat or runcit near Sunway. Hidayah went back kampung the other day and I ordered two from Mak.

The favorite series in TV now is definitely Grey's Anatomy. It is aired on Tuesday 8:30 on NTV7 and the late two or three episode is aired on Starworld70 on Wednesday 9:00. But still think I am not getting enough dose of Grey's. But I just have to write this, the Mark Sloane (sloch or however it is spelt) is actually so HOT and GORGEOUS and STEAMY! Steamier when he confess that he loves Allison, that all before are not just a big bang hot steamy sex. No wonder Shepherd's wife committed adultery. He is like a combination of Leonardo DiCaprio (a matured one) and Brad Pitt. What more can a girl ask for? *Sigh* Who he is anyway? I haven't got time to google him but anyone of you do, please tell me.

Desperate Housewife is getting boring with more and more mystery coming out which will then end up with 'la ini ke yang kau sebuk sebuk kononnya great big mystery'.

One Tree Hill apparently ended up. I didn't get to watch the finale. *sob*

And the irritating House is ending. Thank God! Don't understand why was the Man and Gartblue were so into it.

I was also fed with daily auditions of American Idol which is getting more and more inhuman.

Other than TV, weekdays life is all just that. We left home before sunrise, and reached home around 8:00. Five days in a row dinner shall either be at Mamak, one of the Malay Restaurant and I try to limit once-a-week Fastfood. Therefore I have vowed to cook for the whole weekends. Which I had.

Cerita Kacang

This is the Great Kiddo’s favorite bed-time story.
Is all about getting him, and the parents aware of the fact that he is G6PD.
Plus, getting him aware of the purpose of kacang and their inspirations, to be consumed and become taik.


THERE IS A PACKET OF KACANG INSIDE THE SHOP.
THEY ARE KACANG PARANG, KACANG TANAH, KACANG HIJAU, KACANG BOTAK (ETC)
ONE DAY AZAM ZIKRY WALKED IN AND BOUGHT THE PACKET OF KACANG.
ALL KACANG WERE HAPPY BECAUSE SOMEBODY WILL FINALLY EAT THEM.
WHEN SUDDENLY KACANG PARANG REMEMBERS THAT HE IS DANGEROUS TO AZAM ZIKRY.
SO HE SHOUTS. AZAM ZIKRY DON'T EAT ME.
BUT HE IS SO TINY, AZAM ZIKRY CAN'T HEAR HIM.
SO HE ASKED THE OTHER KACANG TO SHOUT TOGETHER.
BUT OTHER KACANG SAID, IF YOU TELL AZAM ZIKRY, YOU WON'T BE EATEN AND LEFT ALONE HERE.
KACANG PARANG SAID, NEVER MIND AS LONG AS AZAM ZIKRY IS SAFE.
SO THEY SHOUT TOGETHER, 'AZAM ZIKRY DON'T EAT KACANG PARANG, HE IS DANGEROUS BECAUSE YOU ARE A G6PD BOY'.
AZAM ZIKRY HEARD AND SAID, THANK YOU.
SO AZAM ZIKRY EAT THE KACANG TANAH, KACANG HIJAU, BLA BLA.
KACANG PARANG IS LEFT ON THE TABLE, FEELING HAPPY.
SUDDENLY DADDY CAME IN AND SAID, HEY BOY MAY I EAT THE LEFT OVER KACANG PARANG?
SURE DADDY, KACANG PARANG IS DANGEROUS TO ME AS WELL AS NILA, SALICYLIC ACID AND UBAT GEGAT.
SO DADDY EAT THE KACANG PARANG AND FINALLY KACANG PARANG IS HAPPY BECAUSE HE'LL BE SHIT AS THE OTHER FRIENDS.
THE END.

A Son's Blessing

The son was taking picture of his father during the nikah, his father remarry after the mom passed away.

I wanted to focus to the dad and the son and blur out everything else. But this is the best I got.

The Day I Finally Took Out My IUCD

So I have been deferring it for few months. First, I didn’t think I was ready to love another baby as much as the Great Kiddo. Then, with moving house, I didn’t think I want to be pregnant while rearranging potted plants and heavy albums. But most importantly, I still remember the pain I had when they jacked the IUCD up to my uterus and I had cramps all night long which prolonged to the day after. That was why I skipped the first year check up.

Today, however, I decided that I have to embrace the fear. Dr Delaila went for Hajj so her clinic was closed. I decided this morning that today might be the day, plus I am on my fifth day of period so, rang up SJMC during breakfast and made appointment with Dr Christina instead. Finished up my Monthly Report and asked Kamarul to send me to the hospital at 10:45. Waited with fear of pain until 1:10, prayed so hard that the pain will be that muc, then everything happened so fast afterwards. Without I even know it, the equipment was out and I was a free woman!

I did embrace my fear.

1 Goal down. What they say is true, once you tackle one goal down, the world seems like yours and the sky is the only limit you see.

Respect

How many times in a day that you sit down and think through of ways to make other people RESPECT your boss more?
I have that thought everytime I prepare a letter for him to sign.
I bolded his name, sometimes capitalized the whole thing, just to give the impressions to the receiver that he is still here, he is still worth to the company and he is a man who earns the respect.

New Yeah!

New Year passed me by.

Time has really passed me by, leaving me hunting them like ghost. In between moving house, wedding anniversary, Raya Haji, Hamdan leaving for Perth, and kenduri doa selamat time really flew through my whole body cells.

I am still adjusting to the long distance traveling and the early morning wakey session. The Kiddo enjoys the morning traveling, it seems. He opens up his eyes every time we carried him down and starts pointing to cars and lights and towers. Ugghh.. imagine that in the weekends.

The Man and I had a great anniversary celebration. We managed to send the Kiddo away and skipped to the nearest hotel for a dinner for two at Equtorial Hotel, Bangi who served us smashed glass (which they claim plastic) in the mashed potatoes. I got him a Tag Heuer and he got me a nice bracelet with white, red and yellow gold from GoldHeart. He also bought a pair of matching towel for both me and him. I think that’s sweet.

So the New Year really passed me.

People, in and off air were talking about Azam (Resolutions) for the New Year and I jokingly said that I have a great one (the Kiddo’s First name is Azam). As a matter of fact, I try so hard to find some quite time to think about it. I always take some time off for myself to first reflect on the achievement of last year and what more can I improve for the next year. Surprisingly, the time wasn’t on my side this year.

So I’ll do another way round.

Let’s first list on what have I achieved and not last year.

I managed to move house! That is a tough job, man, with the Man trying to possibly bring all things together and keep re-assessing the garbage I’ve thrown.
I managed to, shall I say, successfully guided the three new execs in the Operation Room. They are all fast learners and I am very proud of them. What I didn’t manage is to get the Manager’s tasks rolled down to them. Will tackle that this year.
I didn’t manage to lose weight. I did lose some and gain back.
I patched up with previously-known-as-Miz-Anoi. The whole office seems more bright and positive. It didn’t mean we are close as buddies, but we are okay, working together. I started to see her contribution to the team.
I got through the hard times of facing the Financial Year Audit. I stood by the Finance, however painful they are.
Three large debtors settled their outstanding which has accumulated since 2000. Two more are being chased. Will tackle that this year.
My hair is finally tamed eventhough I missed the curls. It is a lot more softer and easier to handle. My face, however, is getting over-reacting to sun, UV as well as soap. Will get the face treated this year.
This is the roughest year so far with The Man. He had just been promoted and has been super busy. I had sometimes felt neglected and ignored. We had some rows. There were few occasions where he went out-station and I didn’t even try to budge or say no. Didn’t miss him when he was away. But we did sit down and talk about it. I’ve learnt that it takes effort to keep the love burning and it takes a lot more effort to rekindle. I’ve also learnt that if I go for a few days without saying I love yous or hugging him, the next time I wanted to do or say something romantics, it’d feel weirdly odd and funny.



Then what I want:

I want more time in a day. I want to spend time blogging in the mornings, meditation at nights. I want to spend time putting Kiddo to sleep and get back to my own work, reading books or listening to great music.
I want to perform solah with the feelings of really close to Him. Some says, manis beribadah. You know, like when we fall in love with a guy, (preferably your husband), how we think of him whenever we go, and we crazily wrote his names on the note books, I want to be feeling the same kinda of love, if not more special, to Him. I don’t wanna perform Solah blindly, like they say tonggeng terbalik, days and nights but not getting the juice of it. I don’t know, this might sounds crazy, after all these years of sembahyang, chants are just chants. I wanna get deeper.
I want to read more books, mostly romance.
I want to have more sex. It’s odd that the noon after I put this thought on writing, someone told me that women at the age of 30-35 have the highest intensity of wanting sex a.k.a. the horniest. I guess so.
I wanna hang out with good friends and listen to good live music. And most importantly, I want the Man to be there too.
I want to have more time talking to the Man.
I want to start teaching the Kiddo stuffs like abc and 123 and nursery rhymes.
I want to conceive. I want a girl but another boy is fine too.
I want to keep the house clean and tidy, always. I want every inch of the house to be livable and
I want to cook more for the Man and the Kiddo.
I want the Operation becomes much simpler and organized. I want the Customers to understand the Market and the Industry more and oblige the Contractual terms. I want to be wiser with have much patience with them. I realize that the work load this year will be more on the long-term projects thus I gotta be more disciplined in allocating time each day in getting a bit of it done day by day instead of concentrating on the urgent tasks like when I was in the Operation. I also realize that most of the tasks unloaded to me will be connected with pushing others to produce results, I just hope that my leadership qualities shine through.
Oh wtf, yes, I hope to lose a few more kgs. Most of the bras are no longer comfortable, I constantly have bruises whenever I got my period, my feet hurt when I stand for too long either cooking or cleaning up or shopping, waist band of most pants cut me whenever I sit. Losing weight is now for comfort , no longer for beauty.
I want to spend time in the morning more on getting ready. I wanna appear at work with clean and pressed suits, smart and crispy with make-ups on.

Thus, the Resolutions for Year 2007 shall be around that.

Happy New Year!

Coming Back to the Game

A friend had decided and repeatedly announced that he'll be abandoning Clipperseep.blogspot. Apparantely he still feel betrayed that I make peace with used-to-be-Miz-Anoi that easy. He said I melted down so fast after all the nasty things occured between me and her just because of one nice email.

As frustrated as I felt about him, I have to respect that everybody is entitled to his/her own opinion. I leave it all to him. He will admit one day that he and I were close not because we share the same experience of being hurt and stabbed by the same people, but because we were there for each other. Hugs were given whenever we needed, we cried together when one of us is hurt and we cooled each other down. Of course, our friendship is more meaningful than just a session sharing the bitterness felt towards one person.

So, I was screaming and so negative yesterday. Mindworks said that everytime you feel that there is no hope for you, that is the time where you start 'asking' (praying) harder. You may start by listing down all the blessings granted to you. It'll calm you down and 'force' your right brain to clear up all the negativities. So here it is:

1. I got two nice tops at Cat Whiskers (the boutique where AmyMastura shops, which explain why all the sizes were mainly M and S. Idiot! Idiot! What do they think of Malaysian women? Famine instead of feminine? Idiot! Ops.. negative thoughts! Yellow card myself!!)

2. The Man insisted of spending time with the Boy after knowing that the Boy was cranky the night before. I love him more each time he shows effort that time is the best remedy of 'lack of love disease' (penyakit kekurangan kasih sayang).

3. The Man constantly giving clues that he is thinking about the anniversary which is a few more days away.

4. The Sister agreed to look after the Boy and I got time to do the laundry and cleaning up the kitchen.

5. The Man and I enjoyed myself for the furniture browsing. We will get some good deals. I found myself the dressing table which I love and it is so cool! We are talking about sliding mirror with hidden compartment. Cool!

6. I found the dark purple curtain finally that will suit the sheer I bought at Macy for the Master Bedroom. Found it at Tewah the Mines and a lot cheaper than Macy's. Fabric is nicer, and unlike Macy, they have stock!

7. There were rumors about the Bonus for this year and believe it or not, I'll get three months!! Yeahoo! Eventhough the share price is dropping but the bonus definitely will help calming myself down.

With the list, I thank God for the opportunities.
Therefore this is the list of things I want to achieve for these coming few days. I play here the EndResultVideo.

1. By this Friday, 15th, (which is tomorrow!) the Contractor will finish up doing the kitchen cabinet and the three wardrobes. The workers have recovered and the woods are dry by now. The wood color is nice and cool. We'll be moving in by Sunday, with the movers and lorry available.

2. BGL will agree to my comment which will be sent by end of this week. The Debit Note will be raised and they'll pay us by end of December.

I program my right brain that these are achievable and I will let the Universe work things out.

Ciao!

Ooops!

It took so long to post. I pasted my best.

Later will come.

CupidWorks

These are some shots I took during a wedding at Ipoh.

I am proudly announcing that this couple met because of me!

See ? There are other reasons God sent me to Earth other than having that fantasy doing it with the Man dressed in Santa Clause in the Elevator of Parkson Grand Subang Jaya. (how come nobody ever request the details of it? helllllo people!!!)

So, It's Been 30 Days..

When I went to Mindworks course 30 days later, they asked me to set two targets and they guarantee (money back) that it will be achieved. Today is the end of the 30 days.

My targets were:
1. To settle the outstanding disputes with three evendors (back from 03 cases) and finally get paid by 13 Dec (today)
2. To lose 5 kgs (from 55 to 50)

Lemme see whether these are achieved
1. Yes, disputes with two vendors have been settled, but money was not in as per yesterday. One vendor has been stubborn, staff taking leaves and such, and I just got their comment back last Thursday, which I was so busy to look at.
2. I still weigh 55kg!

Look what have I done to achieve those two targets:
1. I've chased like a mad woman, sending emails, warning via fax, I even suggested them to come down from Australia and sit with me but 'their company policy' prevents that.
2. None. I cut rice but piled up whenever at in law's or when Mak coming over. Not a single work-out.

But that is besides the points. Mindworks say the 'do' does not matter, what matters is each morning I sit down to do 'My Daily Programming' which is a sort of meditation cum prayers, then each night I do 'My Daily Cleansing' which is a sort of meditation cum relaxing. Lemme see whether I have done these two rigiously.

1. Daily Programming: I did this religiously after coming to the office. I found quite place to do and follow the instruction exactly. I was a bit sloppy during weekends.
2. Daily Cleansing: None. In 30 days, I might have done around 8 or 9 times. It's hard, u know, to find time to do with the boy around.

If I ever go to Mindworks today and ask for the money back, they'll shoot me down. Aghhh!!! The whole ideas are making me wanting to curse like mad!!

So, in Mindworks too, we learnt that there are times that you won't believe it works and you do this yellow card to your own brain. I know this is the moment where the yellow card is supposed to be flashed to my brain but let me be a victim for a while.

The boy has been cranky yesterday. He cried, refused to let me even take a shower.
The sister who stays with me didn't help much either.
The Man was galavantingly having his own bowling night.
The contractor, despite the large sum of deposits we paid, had not done up the kitchen cabinet. So the 'end result' of me going to work from Bangi by 13 Dec washed down the drain.
The house is in the mess, with boxes around.
The Man and I constantly have arguments about the new house: when to move, whether to clean up the floor before or after the contractor doing work, whether it is safe to let the curtain while contractor doing their job (takut lah contractor curi curtain yang senget tu).
My fridge door (yang sebelah ice tu) was giving way.
It is raining almost every day and all the clothings didn't get dry up.
The friend who move to the HQ is behaving so childish-like. Thrown things back to my face, and refused to understand/listen to our problem righ there.
The Man forgot to place my mobile and wallet into my bag today, despite the few minutes I've asked him to temporarily placed them in their wallets.
I didn't get to blog last weekends. The Man was so busy helping the brothers around.

The whole world is against me!

There you go.
Yellow card later.

For now, I have a staff meetinga t 8:15 and let's just kick and scream to some asses.

Beta!

Yeahoo!!

Thanks to beta, now I can blog again from work.

The ever-so-clever IT department has blocked http://blogger.com, I can't edit nor paste anything from the website.

But since changing to Beta, now the web has been changed to http://beta.blogger.com/ and I can blog, again!

With this I thank GOD for the opportunity.

I am Mad

Can someone just respect my space?

Or at least have the courtesy to say sorry for not being able to afford respecting my space.

Seriously

Seriously, I need my own PC, my own internet connection, my own space!

An Itch and Blogging

God! I had so much things to write... now the mind is all filled with anger and frustration. All ideas are gone, it irked me! The feeling that there are so much more to let go yet there are so much limited time / feeling are fucking irritating!

I just need to blog whenever I wanted.

Couldn't it be entertained?

It's just like the itch that can never be scratched! The feeling stays here , and it is just to bothersome.

Do Not

Do not deter me from posting whenever I have the flows of ideas, because
1. the baby will wake up and need the attention
2. the ideas will stop flowing.
3. the mood'll be gone.

Do NOT!

Second Chance Seconded!

Wow!

I've never received so many reply on any of my postings before.

 

Guess you guys were thrilled and somehow shocked to see that she (previously called MizAnoi) read my post and reacted nicely and humbly to it.

 

You weren't even thrilled to know about my fantasy of doing it with The Man dressed as Santa Claus at the elevator of Subang Parade / Midvalley Megamall. *chuckled*

 

Anyway, a few replies received telling me that you guys were shocked.

 

A few replied giggling that I am finally kantoi! 

 

Quite a few of you were pissed with the fact that I 'bent' so easily.  That her finding the blog had 'server her right'. One almost knocked me out of my car saying that he'll abandon my blog from now on, since that I've bent down so 'much' to her. He said that she has done him the same, and whenever he read my blog, he felt some sort of satisfaction that someone actually know what he is going through.

 

As glad as I feel that there are actually loyal readers of my blog, who understand what I wrote, who believe that what I wrote is true (plus the Santa Claus fantasy), I believe on the second chance.

 

I know I have been mad. I know I have cursed like mad. I know things were not going smooth between me and her.

 

But you guys should take a look at the way she behaves now. She is more composed, more matured.  She is still the same old her, bubbly, talks a lot, jumps in the conversation every now and then, loves talking out loud. But she uses words like sorry every time she jumps in the conversation, she smiles every morning instead of walking through like you are a ghost, and I notice, in a big meeting room, she tried her best not to be seated next to MD. You see, she put effort to become likeable. Doesn't that need a reward? So c'mon, people, reward her for her effort, reward her for being so humble, and reward her, please, with a second chance.

 

I thought that through and figured out that there are lots of factors contributing to it. One, things have calmed down at home. Second, she is now reporting to SBH and SBH is someone whom I respect so much, I look up dearly. SBH is such a big influence to me. He moulded me to become more patient.

 

The other day when we walked into Fitness First, the lady just refused we in just because we didn' have any appointment (despite the calls I made earlier). I could feel the blood boiling and rising up past my ear, when I heard SBH's voice telling me  , "Everytime you lose your temper, you lose your power of negotiation". I remembered the look at his face when he said that, and automatically, I could feel my tense loosened up, and manja-manja, I bent down on the counter, "But adik, can you just please hellppp meeeee...?". It worked. Ena was granted a month free of membership because of that. Should I just shout back at the lady, telling her to fuck the rules of because I called twice that morning, wouldn't think Ena would be granted that free membership.

 

You see, SBH is such a great influence. The way he carried his work, his commitment,  the way he handled people make you wanna be just like him. And that is what ex-MizAnoi turning to.

 

Rohana once told me that she found out that it is true, that your character, your style of working is very much influenced by your boss.

 

I'm glad I have a great character influencing me. And her. (And remember that if you are a BOSS! Yes, BOS, I'm talking about you).

 

Yes, too, I will not call her JazzyJazz or SmirkyFace for now. I guess you readers (after a few replies I received) are not ready to reconcile with her, yet. (Oh what have I done!).  I respect your oppinion and your feeling, and yes, you do have the right on the character-naming in my blog!

 

Second chance, anyone? I seconded!

 

P/s: Isn't anyone interested with the Santa Claus in the Elevator thingy?!!

 

When You Thought Nobody Reads...

I blogged freely. Yeah.. not so freely, there are fantasies about doing it with a husband dressed as santa clause in the Elevator of Parkson or Jusco were never written.
But, I do blogged freely.
All the frustrations, angers were released , that was why I created the Blog in the first place. And I used a webname, The Man also got a webname, the Child however not.

I cursed like mad when I blog.

It occured to my mind many times, how about if someone that I cursed read my blog? What would he/she feel if he/she knows that I was mad at them? Would they be much mad? Would they be suing me? But I blogged anyway

Till yesterday, I received an email from MizAnoi titled, "I am sorry." It started with , "I read your blogsite. I realized that I am MizAnoi".

My heart dropped. The first thing I imagine was, how would she be feeling when she reads all those.

She was so humble. She apologized, and explained certain things. She never knew that certain things she did was hurting me.

I was stunned.

Then I realized that for the past few months, she had never irritated me. She smiled everytime we bumped into each other. The past sometimes resurfaced, but I can't afford to be mad at her because she was nice to me.

I realized that she has changed. Or perhaps I have changed. Or perhaps the MindWorks!

I went to see her afterwork and gave her hug, I deeply had hurt her and I can't help but feeling bad. But she said, it is not a coincidence that I wrote that, that she bumped into my blog, or else she never knew what she did wrong. She explained things happened at home.

We both agreed that we hurt each other that bad because we were close to each other before.

I had admitted that she's brilliant in what she's doing now.(heey puji your enemy was hard).

She happily agreed that she won't buat buat masam to us everytime she was mad and buat us sakit hati.

We both agreed that we can't patch things up and go back to where we started, but the friendship remains.

You see, sometimes, someone you thought is the enemy of your life, suddenly apologizing to you, you somehow have forgotten why were you mad at them in the first place.

She is no longer my MizAnoi. I am yet to find a name. I used to call her JazzyJazz before. Then I chucked that ou. Now, perhaps, SmirkyFace? Cause I think she smirks sweetly.

I just feel so much better. Feel that my sleep is much calmer. Feel that the office smells sweeter.