Honesty in Blogging

Who Actually Read This Blog and Why Do I Care?

My hubby was wondering whether a blog that I wrote about his friend
finally got to the friend's attention. I'm sure someone will get hurt
reading my blog.

That brought me to my own issue. The initial intention of having a blog
is so that I will have an online journal / diary that I can easily write
to, it's there anywhere I go (I mean, I don't have to bring the whole
thick diary with lock and key and pen to the jungle of Kalimantan when I
have an online blog) and I can chose the friends whom I like them to
read with (remind me to write about a bestfriend of mine, Yan, with whom
I exchanged diary when we were 14 and found out that we actually liked
same guy! Hahahaha)

SOMEHOW, I sometimes found myself scrambling for words that can present
my thoughts or my feelings a lot nicer that what I actually
thought/felt. It was like I tried writing and being careful of not
hurting some people at the same time. Can it work? I don't think I can.

So, I've decided to put away of what people think of my entries and put
my Feelings and Thoughts first. After all, it is my blog, isn't it? To
prevent people from being hurt, somehow e-assaulted over my blog, I will
only reveal this blog to those who I can be really really frank with,
who understands somehow or rather why do I feel crappy about some
stuffs. Let's see who will be in the list..?

First, it would be ( or not?) my husband, who is nowadays is my
bestfriend. He is there to listen to when my Windows gave me problems
consistently. But, that will stop me from writing about guys I had crush
with, (or currently am having crush with ? hahahaha), memories I
treasure with the ex boyfriends.

Second, it surely be Yan (provided she has an easy internet access,
she's not really an IT savvy, that girl). Who else I am much comfortable
with other than the girl whose diary I once exchanged with?

Then it came Syima, the high school friend whom then was my roomate. My
god, she and I, we have been thru thick and thin. We've been thru the
pain and joy together, pain of losing, changing jobs, jumping in between
relationships. There's no one in this world she trust more than me. We
also share the same history, getting the hair rebonding at the same time
and same saloon, learning swimming at the age of 25 (!) together.

Next in the list will be Edina, whom was my classmate (sometimes the
only girl friend in the whole four years of Mechanical Engineering
program), my roomate and my shoulder to cry on when we were in college.
We went thru the first pregancy together, sharing the bitterness of hers
and joy of mine. She was there on my wedding, taking all the important
pictures, arranging them nicely in the album. One thing with her,
Edina, is her honesty. If you are looking for a friend who won't say
things you actually need to hear, she's the one. She is really , really
frank and straight forward. Kinda girl who pulled me up when I felt that
I was at the end of the world.

Surely no one at work will be in the list since I wanna talk sincerely
and honestly about how I feel on certain stuffs over work.

But Rohana, a lady whom I used to work with, shall be in the list. She,
God, she is what I want to be , how I wanna grow old like. I never heard
she cursed even how mad she was. She was understanding, was there
anytime I need someone to talk to. She's also GORGEOUS and beautiful,
the kinda of person who guys can never take their eyes of. An efficient
worker, the kind who is neat, smart, hardworking and very very
organized, just the kinda boss I want to be, one day.

I think that 'd be all. All the girls whose friendship I treasure most.
Lemme see whether there are more and will write once a name pops up.
Meanwhile, I can start writing honestly in my own blog. I mean, really ,
really HONEST.

Hmmm.. I am yet to decide whether the husband shall be in the list. :)

the finale episode of LOST

The Finale of LOST

Damn! I know it will have no complete ending!

Last night, we saw the finale episode of LOST back to back. Like what I
expected, they'll still got stuck on the island, no one came to rescue
them, something will be so wrong to the boat and the main character stay
ALIVE (Jack, John Locke, Kate, Claire and the baby, the junkie, Danielle
the mad French woman, big fat Hugo, Sayid and new girlfriend (Boone's
sister), Sun the Korean and the husband, Walt and his father, Sawyer ),
at least now. These people will not die and IF they die, they will die
with drama (like Boone).

Remember when Boone died? Compare the scene with the death of Arntz, the
school teacher. Boone died with last sentences uttered for Jack, even
with great difficulty and Arntz died with a kaboom, while he was
talking. A big unfair there, isn't it?

However, LOST is still a story of its kind. It reveals the truth about
how people turn bad and it'll open your eyes that being bad, being
criminal is not one's choice. There are reasons behind it and only
strong character can remain 'good' towards the end. It is sad to know
why one turns bad, why one does things that is totally unacceptable to us.

The most tragic story, for me, is Sawyer's. His mother was killed and he
was made to believe one guy down in Australia did it. Towards the end,
after the murder, he found out that he was CONNED by somebody, that the
guy was the not the one who did it. Sad, isn't it, to commit a crime for
a reason we strongly believe but the truth was revealed when we have
finally done it.

Second I like best was Locke.

Kate's story was so so for me. I mean, how important a plane toy to her
as portrayed in the series failed to show me how strong was the love
towards the ex boyfriend.

Jack's stories mostly remained unrevealed. LOST 2 will open up a bit
more than what was done in LOST.

(Is there a LOST 2, by the way?) I patiently wait for LOST 2, meanwhile,
let me enjoy the Desperate Housewives. Aggh.. a friend emailed me the
website of the full story (and the ENDING) of Desperate Housewives. I am
so tempted to open....

Donation: where it'd go to?

We always read about some misfortunes of people, citizen of Malaysia. At
the bottom of the long, solemn article, there will be sentence like,

"Donations can be made THRU the some-fund- at Maybank account no:
xxxx-xxxx-xxxx".

I always question, do the money really go to the needies? How long it'd
took for the fund raising foundation to channel the money to the
needies? Will it ever get to the needies a.s.a.p?

And I have found myself stop donating thru the maybank2u.com where the
money goes to the fund raiser. Ask me about the Tsunami victims, none of
my cents went to any of the fund raiser . But my clothes were.

This 'don't trust the fund raiser' started when I happened to work,
voluntarily for a fund raising foundation. Towards the end of the work
then only I found out that the foundation is actually entitled for a
certain percentage of the total donation received. No doubt, they used
their facility in getting the donations coming in (faxes, printing,
telephone) but in getting the whole accounting auditted properly, it 'd
be too late for the needy people.

I sometimes, too, doubt that the money really go for the needies.

Guess I now have a heart as cold as a stone huh

Influenced by me? Hmmm :) I now remember what my dad used to say, no
matter where the money goes, your deed counts (pahala) the moment you
poured the coins into the donation box. Let the fund raisers be
questioned by God and God only. If God waits to the very end of day to
question them, why should you now?

And the needies, dad?

They'll manage, for there is God in every air they breath.

But I still hold on to my coins everytime I went to MacDonald's. God helps!

The Haze is Gone!!!

Somehow, the wind blew the haze away from Klang Valley. I can breathe again! I never thought of feeling so happy seeing the sun.

Thank God that the baby is not very affected by the Haze. He coughed a bit and runny nose at nights, which I think is good to protect the dust from getting into his little nostrils.

Enuff about the Haze. Let's talk about friend in need and friend in dire need.

Once, my hubby was in need of borrowing something from a friend, B. He drove all the way to B's office, got lost a few times, and finally, when the car is parked at the basement, B said that he forgot to bring the item to the office. A day after, B didn't pick up the cellphone to indicate when is he available. We have to postpone a few activities during the weekend so that my husband can get hold of B just to borrow that thing.

Last weekend, B called to borrow something from my husband, instead. We were about to leave the house. Azmady said that he'll leave that thing in front of the mailbox. We left and came back that night seeing that the item is taken. Without even a text message to thank, not even a phone call to say thank you.

Have you ever had a friend like that?

The one who will call you in the middle of night to get something from you?

Then never was there when you were in need of something from him/her?

Lemme see whether I had one.

There was this guy friend who called me up in the middle of the night to go to the police station and bail him out. It was 3. 00 a.m. and I gotta drag my roomate for they needed another person to bail the girlfriend out.

When I was doing a project between my department and his, he sometimes didn't pick up the phone when I need to talk to him. He didn't submit to me things that he was supposed to submit. Once, he literally raised his voice over the phone when I repeatedly asked for the items.
I kept the anger inside. Never said anything about that 3.00 a.m. bail out thing. For me, I did wake up at 3.00 a.m. answering his call just because he is my friend, not because I want something out of him (the project idea was never existed during that distress call).

I feel conned. What value was a friend to him?

Then a few months later he needed someones to be there at the court. He called me and had the gut to expect me taking the half day leave to be there at the court. It was not my intention to pay back what he has done but I really had something going on that day.

He never call me, again.

Haze in Klang Valley

Oh I feel so crappy!!

It has been days driving back home with visibility getting reduced and
reduced each day. I can't help but feeling that the END DAY is near. The
world that I used to see with brigh shinny sunshine now seems fading and
fading away. I wonder whether I would see the bright clear sky again?
The glaring sun?

What would you do if you know that the END DAY is near?

I would wanna go back to my parents' place, spend the days with them.
Tell them things that I did when I was small. Eat things they love to
cook. Eat together. Go for a picnic at the stream nearby. Let my baby
spend the hours with the grand parents. Show my baby the place we played
hide and seek, the spots at walls I secretly scribble on.

Take a walk at the neighbourhood and try to remember how many kids this
person has, what are the kids names, where are the kids now. Take a swim
at Sungai Perak.

Take my husband for a walk around the town. Show him the kindergarten I
went, the school, where I used to have my meals, where I used to hang
out during breaks, where my classes were before. Who are my favorite
teachers, the stair case to the classes which I always sit to wait for
my crush to pass by. Pay my crush a visit, ask him on how did he
actually really feel about me. (I'll sure my husband will pinch me then!)

Visit the other relatives nearby. Phone the ones far away. Draw a family
tree. Locate where is who, and who is where.

Design cards and color them, like I used to do. Send the cards to all
the old friends. Friends from kindergarten, from school, from high
school, the uni friends. Friends I met along the way. Extract the leaves
I hid between the Dictionaries' pages and pasted them on the cards to
the special friends.

About.How.Younglings.Of.MYORG.Look.At.The.Elders.

Thisiswrittenafewmonthsago(ohwhateverhappenedtomyspacebar!!).Found.it.in.one.of.the.file.

My husband, who is also the same org' staff was telling me about his ‘work at day’ on the way home. He just had a presentation to a new General Manager of an area whom he highly spoken of. The first word that came out from his mouth is, “Very diplomatic”.

He told me the details about how this new General Manager interrupted a conversation his friend, K, was having at the corner of the meeting rom. Other people might find K as very rude, talking in a big room with a GM presence. But this GM was humbly asking K to momentarily hold on to his idea, saying sorry more than few times while expressing the need of him to concentrate to the other’s words. He again said sorry before adjourning the meeting. My husband told me that this GM has been seconded to another government agency. I asked him for a name, and when he mentioned his name, Mr. I, I know exactly whom was he talking about.

My bosses and I had experienced working with Mr. I few years back when he was still with the government agency. True enough, I found that every words of what my husband has spoken of him is true. Thru my experience, Mr. I has a very strong but pleasant personality. He showed respect to me, as a very young Executive, as much as he shown the other more senior staffs. He joked with others with me around with jokes that are pleasantly spoken in a presence of a lady, funny but incredibly ‘sopan’. He never failed to show up in any of the event we had. He made effort to thank each one of us who organized the event, from my Number One right up to the dispatch boy who did the running around.

Could it be that his experience working outside the org has molded him into this pleasant human being? Or could it be just him?

I can’t really tell. But, before we reach home, I asked myself, could any young Executive of org in the future, be speaking of me as high as my husband and I have been talking about this Mr. I? I think that would be a very MUCH bigger achievement than the handful of ‘pension’ money I bring home.

The truth is, as any family, the young executives are actually looking at the more senior managers pretty much the same like a kid looking at his parents. We are the Younglings and you all can be either the Master Jedi or the Sith Lord. (Apology, still having fever of the Episode III of Star Wars). We look up at you, the way you speak and handle crisis. We tend to be influenced in every little aspects you sit and stand, from the way you dress to the way you handle the other human being.

If you are the Master Jedi, we speak very highly of you. The donation you asked one to raise for the cleaning makcik whose house was burnt down by fire and the thumb finger you chose to point towards the reception desk to the DHL guy when he mistakenly entered your meeting room. We bragged to our friends about you. We wrote in our journals that you are just what we want to grow up like. If you are the Sith Lord, we will be speaking about getting a transfer but still, some of your favorite spoken ‘words’, the files you chose to throw away outside a board room or the way you effortlessly shutting off someone’s ideas will somehow remain in our attributes, our character, our colors.

At the end of the day, we are still the kids looking up for the best models to live our career world. Yes, we may change the culture of a company, but the company’s future is pretty much in the elders’ hands. I hope many, including me, would be wise enough to distinguish between the Jedi and the Dark Lords and further guide the company so that I’ll be speaking highly of thirty years down the road.

When I looked into my wardrobe, true enough, the most color I can find is the same color I saw my previous female boss wore most. Do my character color resembles hers as well? Well, I’m proud to say that I, with great effort, withdrawing my forefinger and point to the pen dropped by the mail man,using.my.thumb. at the entrance.

Movie,"Hitch"Review.Written on 20th April.

Recently saw the movie, “Hitch”. We were having lunch when the thought of a movie came. Went to buy the ticket and the next available movie was Hitch which has already started about 5 minutes. We missed the preview which husband enjoys watching so much.

Hitch starred William Smith, Eva Menden (who’s this woman, anyway?), that fat guy from one sitcom at StarWorld and a few others. If there is a movie you want to have a good laugh at, this is the one.

The story line is very simple, a guy and a girl who doesn’t believe in love, or afraid of a commitment, found each other, fell in love without realizing, then hated each other but like any Hollywood romantic comedies (except My Best Friend’s Wedding), end up together (and like they always write, live happily ever after). Typical. But it cannot be categorized hilarious, because it is simply EXTRA HILLARIOUS!.

Something Hitchen (William Smith) was a male image consultant, dating expert, psychologist who was dumped during his college time.

Eva Menden (again, who is this woman?) looks more like Hispanic. Skinny but curveous with beautiful bottom. Wore heels (I think at least 3 inches) and no earings. You may notice that no-earrings from the first scene she appeared

That fat guy was a junior accountant with a big firm wearing nice suit, sloppy at meal times fell in love with a very rich girl whom is a client.

Story happened in New York, a beautiful part and warm season of New York (without the rats, shootings, old abandoned building, homeless hovering around). Both the leading parts live alone in a big windows second floor apartment with pleasant street views. (And I love BIG windows). There were fruit groceries, florist and delis downstairs and along the street they are living. They walked to work with taxis easily available all around them. They got everywhere fast and safe, with no typical New York massive jam. There were also scenes at Hudson River (the part of water you can get to Statue of Liberty). Too much beautiful with no jam, no dirt streets and no busy trains until you start asking, is this really New York.

But I think those are all balanced with the normal down to earth make up and costumes of the female stars. The three significant females were wearing not so posh clothing with simple make up like the Bobby Brown way. Freckles were effortlessly left uncovered.

Tuesday 1st August 2005: The date Pak Long Zul passed away.

Mak Long Bada and Pak Ngah Sharan are my father's cousin. Their mother passed away and ever since, they have been living with my grandmother. That made they more like siblings rather than cousins to my father and my Alang. When they grew up and married, their children are more like cousin rather second cousins.

Mak Long Bada got married to Pak Long Zul and their children: Laila, Deydey, Adah and Akah grew up literally with us. They came back for Raya to our home every year. Laila went to the same high school with me and she always made me feel proud. She is one of the coolest junior we had. Deydey is the only boy in the family. Adah went to the same college with my sister, Yan.

Pak Ngah Sharan got married to Mak Ngah Kamariah and blessed with four daughters Shaniza, Fira, Ina, Iyap and the final prince, Iqbal. They too sometimes came back for Raya to our home. They were there during my wedding and (my brother) Hamdan's wedding.

Pak Long Zul was diagnosed with colon cancer about a month ago (or more than that, we don't know). Mak Long has been keeping that a secret from the rest of the family. Deydey, however, was the one who broke the news to us. I didn't get the chance to see Pak Long Zul. I got the call from Alang about two hours after he passed away, at the Hospital of Kubang Kerian. He went away with Mak Long by his bedside.

I couldn't really digest the news anyway. We, Azmady and I and the baby, drove all the way to Grik, Perak the next day. I know I won't be able to see the body but it was the cousins that I really wanted to see. WHen we arrived at the their house, they have already taken the body to the cemetary. I took the opportunity to let Azam Zikry bonded with the rest of the aunties stayed guarding the house. Still, I couldn't really feel the sad air surround the house.

The sadness kicked in right away after the cousins came back from the cemetary. I saw each of their faces and the red eyes each one has. I can't imagine if it my siblings were at their place and they at ours. I turned to my dad and hugged him, hoping that he'll know I'm not ready to let him go yet.

May God grant them strength. May their love to each remain stronger thru these thick and thin days.

Akademi Fantasia Season 3 Final

Hey! The final night is finally here.... No doubt the winner will be Mawi. But my question is, will he win with Dignity? Will he show that he has put hard work and deserve the champion title?

Yazer last week was really going all out. He sang beautiful. He played the guitar fantastically when accompanying Felix. He rapped (yes, the Mawi also rapped) flawlessly during Kefli's performance. I would say that he was kicked out with dignity.

But will Mawi win with dignity?

Astro, on the other hand, is not showing the percentages of votes since Monday this week. I didn't get chance at all to see any of the diaries shown every night and morning. Heard from Azmady that Felix is not really happy with the song he got "Kudaku" or something. Marsha I though got her hair colored and I'm sure it did look beautiful.

My favorite is always Mawi but I have not spent a single cents to AFUNDI him. I feel that he doesn't deserve my money as Vince had. It is so hard to find a talented, hard working, brave and natural singer like Vince. No body, again, NO BODY, in this season performed outside his/her box. Every performance is very safe. No body tried out like Vince did in the first season. I wanted to see people 'modififed' songs, one thing neither of this season's students succeeded doing. Talking about hardworking, I never seen anyone from previous season 'forgetting' lyrics at the second last concert. Cikgu Siti Hajar was right, none of these students got 'it' right.

Vince remains as the benchmark.

I would also like to see the voting processes got audited. I mean, there are lots of these spectaculations about the votes were prefixed. I mean, if you are given the opportunity to play with people lives and getting money out of it, wouldn't you want to twist the 'storyline' here and there if you know that you'd get more money of doing so? Be transparent with the voting. I never feel like trusting Astro unless this system is audited and announced publicly.

Anway, I can't wait for tonight's performance. Let see how Mawi wins it.

On 2005 Retreat

On the ORG Coal Technical & Business Retreat 2005
It is the second time organized by The-Org Fuel, my company which comprises of twenty two people. All the 22 were involved.
JFC as the MD and SBH as the Head of the Committee have been more than supportive to me. Shaiful called me up on the stage to thank me, in front of the participants. JFC insisted that I sat next to him during the photo session. Well, being appreciated by your bosses is actually much worthy than the $$$ you are getting! (and I do love the $$$, too! *smile*)

This is my appreciate notes I wrote for them. Last time I took the effot to write on cards for each of them separately.

Dear you all,

Last year, I did write to each one of you one a piece of card but I guess I won’t have time to do so with the li’l fellow crawling around the house. Here goes my appreciation:

Firstly, to Mr Joe and Shaiful, thank you for your love and trust.

The big thanks go to:

The backbones of the event: Ena, Kana and Ida. You three have given me more what I expected, more than what you can give at any other time.

NFK, the participants’ invitations was the hardest work, you did it without any complaint. Your patience was very much tested when people call to change or didn’t bother to call at all. You’ve done your best to minimize the no-shows. We couldn’t never have done it without you.

KT, I know that I can always trust you and your judgement. You too have done the best in getting the cost as low as you can. The event went smoother this time for you have made sure the tiny little details are well taken care of. I know that this year, I don’t even have to meet the hotelier. You took care of everything and it made me feel so secured. You set an example of being ‘calm thru the storm’ like last year and I, everytime something chaotic happened, always remind myself to be just like you. Thank you, thank you and thank you for giving me your 200%.

INI, the perfectionist side of you was really shown. Look at how the printings were done! I know there were times you felt so lonely working alone arranging the paper without any help but I could say, one thing I admired is the smile and jokes that never leave you thru the hard time. Chasing the presenters soft copies were hard, I know, but you did it with your normal sense of humor. Thank you for the nice yellow t shirt you bought the committee members. Thank you too for keeping me calm all the time. I can never love you enough.

You three are angels.

SOB when I heard you said, “Orang puteh kampung mana ni.. tak reti buat dalam power point. Meh sini I buatkan presentation dia dalam power point!”. – referring to Peter James’ OHP transparencies – I vowed to say that I can kick anyone who dare giving me the impression that you are not committed (as others) to the event’ excellence. I admire you for saying that, and I have always known that you will never fail to give us any support. The fact that you are a Senior Manager yet you are willing to turun padang to be with us, has earned so much respect from me.You are a living example of a true leadership.

PK your presentation was excellent. Thank you for doing it such a late notice. You spoke like a pro and it was clearly shown that you deserve the post. Remember to belanja me when your promotion is finally confirmed. You were there too supporting me emotionally. Thank you for the leading the repertory session and the beautiful forms you prepared for the repertoire. Thank you for taking Pak Dian back to KL. Hey.. you won ‘best dressed’ award for the first night - dinner buffet we had!

NAS, you are such a good sport during the gala dinner! I can’t stop laughing at your act. Thank you for your amazing sense of humor. Thank you too for chairing the first session.

ABS, I would say the award of the coolest Senior Manager goes to you! Look how relaxed you were, posing underneath the pokok kelapa while we were playing volleyball. Thank you for the beautiful speech you wrote for key note opening.

AKO, the “Fly Me to the Moon” video clip was fantastic. Thank you for taking care the IT part of the event. Thank you too for the effort of uploading the picture of all the delegates into the Laptop and flashing it out on the second day. I’m sure the delegates were proud seeing the pic on the screen. The buses were okay too. Above all, thank you for maintaining your normal self (the joker of all) and keeping me in the fun spirit of all time. You are my anchor.

Chief and MU, you two were never kedekut chipping in your help here and there. From golf, to logistics and equipment, every items were safe transported to and back to office. I feel safe with you two around, taking care of the items. Your work have always been genuine, non self-profiting. And Chief, your “Widuri” was entertaining! You two are more than my pillar of strength. (Tiang kekuatan saya ?? haha!!) Murali, I really appreciate your support eventhough you are so busy planning for your wedding. You are a bestfriend God sent from heaven.

AZ, saya berharap dapat diberi lebih banyak peluang menyaksikan hasil kerja dan kepimpinan AZ yang makin tergilap dari dulu lagi.

DD, I hope by now you know how closely knitted (Spelling?) we are as a family. Thank you for the beautiful song you played. Welcome to the family and I hope you will grow with us and learn the meanings of trust, love, patience, cooperation and support.

MSMY, you were always there and I can always count on you. I believe the picture were amazing. One thing I like about you is the spirit of “I Can Do” you portrayed in each of the task I need volunteer for. I am so proud of you and the attitude you showed through out the retreat journey made me respect you much more… hah let me put it in a more complex sentence – the attitude you showed thru these days made you look much composed than other people of your age. Sobri and I feel so proud.

CBPMS, we missed you so much when we were there. Thank you for looking after the office. I enjoyed the laughter you made us while arranging all the printings into the seminar folders. It was not the same without you around.

ADura and AKO, the retreat program was smart and crispy. Thank you.

ADura and Jay, the name tags were beautiful. The registration went so smooth with you two around and I didn’t worry a thing. Thank you, Kak Jay , for leaving the kids behind to support me thru out the event.

WONG, I know repertoire is a boring job but you said yes, anyhow. Thank you and I appreciate you being there. I hope to join you for your next golf flight.

Jazzy, you made the dinner beautiful and sovery well organized, just like you. I am so glad you are on board of this journey for I need the bubbly part of you for the dinner. You are one leader I would blow any balloon for. Thank you for allowing other MC talents to be developed. You made the first day event so relaxing (and fun too!). It went so smooth. Thank you.

JFT, many thanks for commenting on our group song. We missed you and your drum.

Ladies, you all looked amazing in the floral batik. Ena I think was the most outstanding and beautiful with the ala bienda scarf she wore. (that woman definitely loves RED!)

And guys, you were amazing in the Reject Shop shirt!

To all pool laptop caretakers, many thanks. We the committee has done the best to ensure that your belongings are well taken care of. Hope they are intact. Please do tell me if there are things missing from your laptop bags.

On behalf of the BATUBARA Team, we can never thank you enough for your support and your spirit. I can’t find words to show how much we appreciate your work and your being. Thank you for just being you, for being a ‘Fuel’.

At the evening when the event is over, and the li’l baby and his dad were asleep, I took a walk around the hotel and saw the empty secretariat and seminar rooms. Suddenly, there was this emptiness I felt within me. I was glad that the event was finally over and it was a success, but it was your companionship that I missed most, I guess. I wonder, would there be a chance where I can experience such strong support and love like you all shown to me? Would there be any other group who could be working so hard like you all? Would there be such trusting Directors like Mr Joe and Shaiful? Sikap kerjasama dan tolong menolong kita sebagai anggota kerja Fuel adalah sangat menonjol dan membuatkan saya terharu. Seminar itu sebenarnya adalah kerja yang sukar tapi anda semua membuatkannya nampak mudah dengan tawa riang dan sikap suka membantu anda.

Or is the ‘time of the month’ hitting me? Else, I wouldn’t be this mushy!

Thank you for letting me in your space. You guys are the best.

Much love, more than always,
clipperseep

Finishing Half Blood Prince!

I did manage to finish up the Half Blood Prince last night after li'l
one doze off and it has a very very SAD ending!!! If you think the
death of Sirius Black is sad, this is much sadder!!!

Talking about the happier note, Harry at last fell in love with the
newly attracitve Ginny Weasley. Ron and Hermione are like going
somewhere. Tonks, one of the members of Order of the Phoenix, is
actually having feelings for Lupin (the old Professor, remember). Fleur,
the French witch is going out with Bill, the Weasley's first son. I
guess J K Rowling was really trying hard to attarct the girl readers.

There was this great battle between the Orders and the Death Eaters
inside the Hogwarts itself (and you can guess where the Death Eaters are
coming from based on my last blog).

Oh alright, I'm telling! Dumbledore was killed! and guess by who?
Snape!!! But I think this was going very easy, why did Snape turned
himself against Dumbledore who has trusted him so much? Could he be
under the Imperius Curse? There will be an explanation in the coming 7th
book ( I thought the Rowling woman is finishing up with the 6th?) of why
Snape did so. I believe Snape is still the good guy, he could have done
all these due to the Unbreakable Vow he made with Draco's mother.

Draco's character was evolving majestically. There is still good side
inside of him, his action was purely based on the love he felt for both
of his parents.

I enjoyed 'Won-won' and 'Lav-lav' very much while reading however can't
wait to get to the ending of the Ron and Hermione, which was never
happened, fully, towards the ending.

Dumbledore death was the saddest and the turning point of Harry's
teenager-into-adult life. Dumbledore was the closest to him, he
introduced Harry to the magical word, the wizardry school and the
history of James & Lily. He has always been the 'father' of Harry's and
the protector of the good side of the magic world. His death is like
the end of the good side, I feel, for Lord Voldermort will become much
stronger and uncontrollable.

The ministry was still very much hated by the witches and wizards
adoring Dumbledore. Percy character is sort of died but his loyalty to
the ministry remains eventhough the minister has been replaced.

Enough of this Harry Potter. Azmady and I took Azam Zikry to McDonald's
last night and he was so excited seeing all the bright color inside the
restaurant. He has just been fed and changed before we went, I kinda
enjoyed taking him outside without having to pack formula and nappy
changing kit! I feel that he's a big kid now!

Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince

Saw the 6th of the Potter books the other day at Carrefour. It was cheap
RM79.90 (for the first two days) compared to MPH's price of RM99.90.
HOWEVER, Azmady and I decided to hold on on purchasing since we won't
have much time to read with li'l Azam Zikry around, anyway. The
thickness , I guess is nearly 4 inches.

However, the boss was asking me to go for a business trip which I know I
would have much free time without li'l one around. We ran to the nearest
Carrefour (which the price has increased by RM10.00) and got me a copy!!
I spent most of the time in the Business lounge reading.

By the end of the trip, I have finished 400 pages out of 600 something.
Not bad huh.. As any 'Arry Potter book, it started with all sort of
details and explanation about all the herbs they planted, creatures they
met, teachers they don't like etc etc. It is not by the 2/3 of the way
then the details start falling at the right places.

Professor Dumbledore briefed Harry a lot ( I mean A LOT) more than what
he has done accumulatively in the previous of five books. There was
this explanation on why Lord Voldermort was so mortal. Draco Malfoy was
also more than a mere cheeky classmate. Snape opps Professor Snape is
even more suspicious this time.

Ron and Hermione were also acting like the other seventeen teenagers.
There were also lots of smooching and kissing around. Guess the writer
was trying to attract both boys and girls attention to the plot.

It's 5.00 and I better go home to finish off the other 200 pages!

My Company, that is a Government Linked Company, works very 1st and 3rd Saturdays. Recently, there is a rumor going on abolishing this working Saturday completely.

Now, let me think of the good things I see working on Saturday:

• I get to dress up in Jeans and Shirt since Saturday is a casual relaxing working day. This is the day to flash the new jeans or the attractive top!
• I get to see others in Jeans and shirt.
• Very very few calls come in, means I get to look at the planner and see what has been achieved, what else is to be done on certain project. I also get to clean up my table, organize and re organize some stuffs.
• We always sit down on Saturday to eat breakfast together in the conference room as a whole company and share a few laughters here and there.
• I get to drive to work relaxingly, without the jam and the traffic.

Of course, there are many things I can do on Saturdays instead:

• I get to go to dentist whom I haven't seen for almost 5 years!
• I get to spend more hours in bed, spend some time with kid and husband.
• I get to go back to in law's and probably to my hometown, too, back to my parents. Kid get to spend more time with his grand parents and do more of the bonding stuffs.
• Shopping! Catching up with friends! Movies!
• Of course a lot more stuffs that I do on weekends.

Of course I love weekends but I would miss all the stuffs I could do on Saturdays at work, without any interruptions. Where else can I find a day at work which is so relaxing, peaceful and fun?

My trip to Kinabalu Summit

I didn't get much chance to write about my climbing trip to Kinabalu
summit, the highest peak in South East Asia (blame it to the limited
time I had access to the net to establish my own blog)

I'll write more about the whole training and the climbing journey.

The highlight of the climbing however, is after the Sayat-Sayat Hut,
where the land is almost plateux. Oxygen was less, climbing was a bit
slippery. The closer I am to the peak, the more tired I feel. At times I
feel like stopping and sleeping. However there are two says that keep
ringing in my ears.

One is from my Managing Director, Joseph who is the head of this
climbing madness. He said, "There are many excuses for you to turn back".

One is from my good friend, Murali who said, "Lagi cepat mau sampai atas
aaa, lagi kita rasa mau berenti!", (The closer we are to the peak, the
louder the voice asking us to stop).

These two, and the willingness of my husband to walk by my side, has
inspired me to the top.

I've conquered the Highest Peak in South East Asia!

Desperate Housewives

Last night (on Starworld 70), I finally got to see my long-awaited
series, the Desperate Housewives. It has been promoted by Oprah in her
show (which is another one I couldn't miss).

My hope is that Desperate Housewives can replace my favorite show,
Charmed. But going thru the first episode, I probably should wait for a
few more episodes to finally judge the series.

Desperate Housewives is about a story of women (married / divorced)
living in Westeria Lane. Some of them are maried, one is married with
kids, one (Teri Hatcher, ex Superman woman) is divorced with a cool
teenager girl. It's a comedy drama with an element of mystery & murder
(Great! Or else we will be forced to watch the swapping sleeping partner
in Melrose Place, or fighting for any love in Beverly Hills 90210).

Let's wait for next week episode.

Journal Day 1

Yeahhh!!! I can now blog from my email.

Hmm.. don't know how long have I been wanting to do this: setting up my
own blog that allow me to blog from my email. Since the little baby
arrived, I didn't have much time to login to the net and type. But I
have sooooo much things in my mind to write about!

I spent two hours yesterday (while the dear hubby went out to play
badminton) after work just to surf for the right blog and Blogger is
actually the 3rd one I chose. It practically allow me bloging from my
email. They also have this moblog thingy which you can blog from your
mobile. I'll see how that is done later ya!!!

Can't tell how happy and excited I am!!

Alright, back to the subject of the baby! Gosh.. I never know it can be
so demanding. He is now 9 months old. Since he arrived, I never had time
to read daily paper at home (yeah like I have time to read one at work!)
I have enjoyed reading so much, but I can never finish one short article
in the Reader's Digest. The other day, I saw the latest Reader's Digest
at my mom in law's and the story was about this cello player who went to
play for the teenager inmates in one of the prisons. I practically
rushed to the last page of the story just to know what happened at the
end before the baby crawled to the nearest cat bowl! However, feeling
that I don't have much time to read does make me feel guilty. Does a
good mother (RETYPE:: good responsible loving nice mother) allow herself
to feel that the baby doesn't allow her to have much time by herself?
Doesn't a good mother supposed to live happily with the new arrived
baby? How important a 'time for herself' is compared to this tiny little
human who constantly need her attention? 'Time for herself' vs 'cute
little baby' in the boxing ring!!!!! And spectators will start booing
for the "Time for herself" to surrender!

Gynewth Paltrow was right (on her Apple) We, mothers, can feel guilty of
about just everything!

testing

Hi.. I blog this from my email.

Testing

TESTING.

THE FIRST ENTRY.

WONDER HOW DO I BLOG FROM MY EMAIL?