We took the kids to Berjaya Times Square today (minus little Adam) since Mom will start working next week and thought of savoring all the free time we had.
Anna could only ride on four rides.
Azeuchry could have 8. But he got hooked on the bumper cars.
On his like 5th ride of the bumper car, Dad somehow went up to take a look at another ride and took up some official calls. Azeuchry finished his 7th ride and found out that Dad is gone. He went around the park looking for his Dad.
Dad went back to the bumper car alley and came back to Mom who was sitting with Anna at a bench. "Azeuchry tak ada!" We panicked and searched him all over. Mom carried Anna and walked all over screaming Azeuchry's name while Dad membisu sahaja mencari. Susah nak tengok Dad's face so panick, that was a few of the moments in his lifetime. This lifetime.
Dad asked the security and they found him, budak pakai baju ultraman ni kan, downstairs. He was back in Dad's arm, holding back tears.
*akulah isteri Mithali, laki hilangkan anak pun saya masih cool*
Alhamdllilah.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Losing the Kilos
Losing the Kilos.
After about 7 weeks of child labor, I have lost a total of 17 kilos. (pelanggan setia dari Bangi, Puan Clipper telah pun memenangi hadiah dari SlimmingZoo. Berat sebelum, 72 kg. Berat selepas, 55kg).
Wah.. that looks like a lot to brag.
Except for the fact that:
1. 10 kgs consist of the baby, the water, the placenta and some tissues were lost during that painful child labor.
2. another 2 kgs was lost within a week after child labor. I read Adele Puhn’s book, it is still the tissues or something which were holding the womb.
However 5 kilos was what I really deserve the credit for. I was back to my pre pregnancy weight. Ehm.. pre third-pregnancy weight, to be exact. My target was to get to 50kg, which is my pre first-pregnancy weight, but figured out 5 kilos is really a big deal thus I need to celebrate.
Let me take this moment bowing to all the credits thrown at me. Even the Man’s mom a.k.a. my mother in law bragged to the whole family on how comel I look now (agh.. malu la saya.. hahaha). Just let me enjoy this moment, before I am back at work and start piling up some more kilos.
Jadi Puan Clipper, bagaimanakah cara Puan Clipper kembali langsing seperti sebelum mengandung dulu? How do you manage to stay back in shape? Apakah petua petua yang boleh dikongsi bersama? Okay pembaca setia blog saya, ini hadiah untuk anda.. (eik nak termuntah pulak aku). See whether these work for you, in fact I wouldn’t really know which one is the real cause of losing weight.
1. Pakai bengkung for 30 days and nights with some slimming lotion. You may get the Halia mustajab or mujarab something. Orang dolu dolu use the kapur and some lime squeezed to it, sekarang ni senang, get the slimming lotion. I got two pairs of bengkung yang ikat cam tali kasut, costs around RM35 each. Di waktu bibik tak ada balik kampong, kekadang satu tu pakai sampai dua malam. The first few days lepas balik hospital, suruh makcik urut tu yang ikat bengkung. Aku sedap pakai bengkung sebab bila nak batuk ke nak jerit ke nak gelak ke, abdomen tak rasa pedih sangat. And bengkung tak sama effect dengan girdle. Ada satu hari tu aku malas nak ikat bengkung and opted for girdle instead. Dua tiga hari lepas tu I felt like the womb is pressing downwards, ngilu siyot..
2. Water. Water. Water. I drank like two glasses of water before each meal and another two after. I drank in between the nursing. Bila dah pakai bengkung tu, you can feel macam penuh gila perut, thus you will eat less.
3. However, jangan makan sulam air. Ini petua Boy, laki si Syima. Don’t know whether that works but aku follow je.
4. If you can get a masseur who knows the lympathic nodes for slimming purpose, you might wanna get one. My makcik urut kononnya boleh urut pecah lemak. So the first two sessions lepas balik spital tu, she urut untuk lembutkan urat yang tegang meneran baby, but the sessions after tu, she bantai kuat kuat untuk pecah lemak. I am not really a believer in the massage for slimming purpose but perhaps that works. I got a total of 9 sessions spread out through the whole 8 weeks. (sebenarnye I booked for 10 tapi makcik tu makin lama makin kuat dia urut, sakit.. wa tak tahan!)
5. Portion control. Mak aku, mak lang aku, bibik aku semua bising kalau aku tak makan nasi. Pagi pun kadang kadang kena makan nasi. Kalau tak diorang kata nanti perut masuk angin and baby senang nak kena colic. So makan je la dua senduk gitu pagi, petang and malam. Tapi bila aku rasa nak bantai tu, bantai jugak.
6. Don’t write off the whole week. Maksudnya kalau kau dah bersemangat nak control makan hari isnin, tapi hari tu lauk sedap kau bantai makan banyak, hari selasa pun cam tu gak jadinya, jangan give up and ingat nak start next week Monday je. start je the immediate day, or better still, the immediate meal time. The best time to shed those pounds is really waktu berpantang, the moments you are confined at home dan pandangan tak luas sangat kearah restoran mamak, Tony Romas, buffet buffet hotel, kenduri kendara dan cendul tepi jalan. Nanti bila dah naik kerja, banyak gangguan, stress lah member ajak lunch lah, kenduri lah. So take this golden opportunity real good.
7. After my second child, aku rajin buat sauna kat spa. For 10 mins. Itu memang cepat aku rasa all the water retention menghilang. Pastu aku rajin buat sendiri kat rumah. Air panas (kalau tengah mengada, daun serai wangi) taruk dalam baldi, stand over the baldi with your legs spread, get an old bedsheet and wrap around your body. 10 minutes cukup. Ini aku tiru idea si Fuzet, makcik urut dia buatkan beranggang untuk dia. Hot charcoal with daun semalu and stand over the hot charcoal with the old bedsheet wrapped around your body. Tapi aku malas nak cari charcoal charcoal ni and di samping nak mengelakkan unsur unsur Coal dalam waktu rehat ni, aku invent sendiri lah itu baldi and air panas.
8. Mandi air wangi wangi. Recipies keluarga aku for air mandi is daun serai wangi, daun capor and daun ganda rusa. Kalau tak de, daun serai wangi tu je pun boleh. I don’t think it contributes to the weight loss but after mandi tu memang rasa segar je. So in a way it calms you down during berpantang ni.
9. 40 days without coke, ice lemon tea, the tarik Boleh buat? Mesti boleh punya. Milo pun aku buat milo kosong. Sampai kalau la ni aku minum milo yang taruk gula, mesti rasa manis teramat sangat. the only thing yang aku minum ada gula is kopi-o. itu pun ration nye once in two-day time.
10. Minum air akar kayu. Or in my case, my mom ambik air kulit kayu ada beberapa jenis. air ni rebus pagi and biar je satu periuk tu sepanjang hari. Bila nak minum campur sket dengan air panas so that it’ll be warm. To be frank, I don’t know the medicinal properties of these stuffs but yang aku tahu, setiap kali lepas minum, my body berpeluh peluh. Kalau dah tahan minum tak rasa nak muntah muntah lagi, gulp this down in replacement of water masa nak breastfeeding or meal time. Tapi tengok jugak baby, macam Anna tak berapa tahan perut dia bila aku minum kayu kayu ni, so I stopped at around 10th day. This third baby Nampak okay so sampai 54th day ni aku bantai. Stop if you feel this kayu kayan buat badan panas , you’d know bila tekak sakit and mulut pecah pecah. Or water down. The trick is, kena minum waktu dia suam, baru badan berpeluh Kalau air kat periuk tu dah sejuk, campur air suam waktu kau nak togok. Tak de le kau bagi alasan air dah sejuk la camne nak minum.
11. I took ikan haruan for the first 10 days, nothing else. Ikan haruan, sayur sawi + carrot and nasi. Itu je. Bila dah boring sket, substitute ngan ikan tenggiri. But selagi tak habis ikan haruan dalam freezer tu, selagi tu lah kena makan. I asked them kalau nak tumis pakai sesame or sunflower oil, only for my cooking. For fruit I took apple, oranges and pear. After 10 days boleh dah aku nak makan chicken ke daging ke. Must take all these chicken or daging sebab these are your protein sources. I took calcium and sangobion/obimin as supplement.
12. Bertungku. But I don’t think this contributes to the weight loss. People said it helps to contract the womb. I am a bit skeptical about that but aku suka the feeling of the heavy warm batu on my abdomen. It calms me down. And the smell of daun daun yang diorang balut the batu tu pun is very nice and relaxing. and bila batu panas tu kena perut, mesti angin keluar.. ikut mulut pun ada ikut bawah pun ada..
13. Breakfast. I eat breakfast banyak gila,lunch in moderation and dinner kalau boleh sket. Susah sebab The Man came back only for dinner, so i tend to eat banyak sebab duk berborak time dinner. nak ratah ratah sayur pun cepat benor rasanya aku perabihkan sup sayur tu. So kena control. But breakfast memang bantai banyak. After feeding yang subuh 5:30 tu, i always went down and gulped a glass of Milo with 4 slices of bread. Bread aku try toast without butter. Dalam dua tiga hari rasa dah used to the feeling of empty toast. Then 8 a.m. bantai oat dengan milo taruk nestum, kalau ada nasi goreng ambk la dalam semangkuk. I must make sure that my tummy is really full for breakfast. somehow it boosts the metabolism, i think.
14. Breast feeding. Ini memang aku rasa the main cause of weight loss. I read “How to Lose Weight While Breastfeeding” and she said about 700kcal is lost per day during nursing. Breastfeeding takes up a lot of kcal out from your body but it also increases your metobalism which can make you hungrier. masa my first kid, I reached out for chocolate cookies every single time after nursing. Hence little weight loss.
The trick aku buat kali ni is, masa baby dah uwek uwek nangis nak susu, cecepat gulp down one or two big glasses of water, baru feeding baby. lepas feeding, another two big glasses. Masa feeding pun kalau nak minum, aku galakkan sangat (provided your water refilling fairy ada la mengisi botol air kau). So you won’t feel the hunger sebab perut dah penuh. I have tall big bottles in all rooms.
Itu je lah yang saya buat. 5 kilos within 7 weeks? Boleh punya..
After about 7 weeks of child labor, I have lost a total of 17 kilos. (pelanggan setia dari Bangi, Puan Clipper telah pun memenangi hadiah dari SlimmingZoo. Berat sebelum, 72 kg. Berat selepas, 55kg).
Wah.. that looks like a lot to brag.
Except for the fact that:
1. 10 kgs consist of the baby, the water, the placenta and some tissues were lost during that painful child labor.
2. another 2 kgs was lost within a week after child labor. I read Adele Puhn’s book, it is still the tissues or something which were holding the womb.
However 5 kilos was what I really deserve the credit for. I was back to my pre pregnancy weight. Ehm.. pre third-pregnancy weight, to be exact. My target was to get to 50kg, which is my pre first-pregnancy weight, but figured out 5 kilos is really a big deal thus I need to celebrate.
Let me take this moment bowing to all the credits thrown at me. Even the Man’s mom a.k.a. my mother in law bragged to the whole family on how comel I look now (agh.. malu la saya.. hahaha). Just let me enjoy this moment, before I am back at work and start piling up some more kilos.
Jadi Puan Clipper, bagaimanakah cara Puan Clipper kembali langsing seperti sebelum mengandung dulu? How do you manage to stay back in shape? Apakah petua petua yang boleh dikongsi bersama? Okay pembaca setia blog saya, ini hadiah untuk anda.. (eik nak termuntah pulak aku). See whether these work for you, in fact I wouldn’t really know which one is the real cause of losing weight.
1. Pakai bengkung for 30 days and nights with some slimming lotion. You may get the Halia mustajab or mujarab something. Orang dolu dolu use the kapur and some lime squeezed to it, sekarang ni senang, get the slimming lotion. I got two pairs of bengkung yang ikat cam tali kasut, costs around RM35 each. Di waktu bibik tak ada balik kampong, kekadang satu tu pakai sampai dua malam. The first few days lepas balik hospital, suruh makcik urut tu yang ikat bengkung. Aku sedap pakai bengkung sebab bila nak batuk ke nak jerit ke nak gelak ke, abdomen tak rasa pedih sangat. And bengkung tak sama effect dengan girdle. Ada satu hari tu aku malas nak ikat bengkung and opted for girdle instead. Dua tiga hari lepas tu I felt like the womb is pressing downwards, ngilu siyot..
2. Water. Water. Water. I drank like two glasses of water before each meal and another two after. I drank in between the nursing. Bila dah pakai bengkung tu, you can feel macam penuh gila perut, thus you will eat less.
3. However, jangan makan sulam air. Ini petua Boy, laki si Syima. Don’t know whether that works but aku follow je.
4. If you can get a masseur who knows the lympathic nodes for slimming purpose, you might wanna get one. My makcik urut kononnya boleh urut pecah lemak. So the first two sessions lepas balik spital tu, she urut untuk lembutkan urat yang tegang meneran baby, but the sessions after tu, she bantai kuat kuat untuk pecah lemak. I am not really a believer in the massage for slimming purpose but perhaps that works. I got a total of 9 sessions spread out through the whole 8 weeks. (sebenarnye I booked for 10 tapi makcik tu makin lama makin kuat dia urut, sakit.. wa tak tahan!)
5. Portion control. Mak aku, mak lang aku, bibik aku semua bising kalau aku tak makan nasi. Pagi pun kadang kadang kena makan nasi. Kalau tak diorang kata nanti perut masuk angin and baby senang nak kena colic. So makan je la dua senduk gitu pagi, petang and malam. Tapi bila aku rasa nak bantai tu, bantai jugak.
6. Don’t write off the whole week. Maksudnya kalau kau dah bersemangat nak control makan hari isnin, tapi hari tu lauk sedap kau bantai makan banyak, hari selasa pun cam tu gak jadinya, jangan give up and ingat nak start next week Monday je. start je the immediate day, or better still, the immediate meal time. The best time to shed those pounds is really waktu berpantang, the moments you are confined at home dan pandangan tak luas sangat kearah restoran mamak, Tony Romas, buffet buffet hotel, kenduri kendara dan cendul tepi jalan. Nanti bila dah naik kerja, banyak gangguan, stress lah member ajak lunch lah, kenduri lah. So take this golden opportunity real good.
7. After my second child, aku rajin buat sauna kat spa. For 10 mins. Itu memang cepat aku rasa all the water retention menghilang. Pastu aku rajin buat sendiri kat rumah. Air panas (kalau tengah mengada, daun serai wangi) taruk dalam baldi, stand over the baldi with your legs spread, get an old bedsheet and wrap around your body. 10 minutes cukup. Ini aku tiru idea si Fuzet, makcik urut dia buatkan beranggang untuk dia. Hot charcoal with daun semalu and stand over the hot charcoal with the old bedsheet wrapped around your body. Tapi aku malas nak cari charcoal charcoal ni and di samping nak mengelakkan unsur unsur Coal dalam waktu rehat ni, aku invent sendiri lah itu baldi and air panas.
8. Mandi air wangi wangi. Recipies keluarga aku for air mandi is daun serai wangi, daun capor and daun ganda rusa. Kalau tak de, daun serai wangi tu je pun boleh. I don’t think it contributes to the weight loss but after mandi tu memang rasa segar je. So in a way it calms you down during berpantang ni.
9. 40 days without coke, ice lemon tea, the tarik Boleh buat? Mesti boleh punya. Milo pun aku buat milo kosong. Sampai kalau la ni aku minum milo yang taruk gula, mesti rasa manis teramat sangat. the only thing yang aku minum ada gula is kopi-o. itu pun ration nye once in two-day time.
10. Minum air akar kayu. Or in my case, my mom ambik air kulit kayu ada beberapa jenis. air ni rebus pagi and biar je satu periuk tu sepanjang hari. Bila nak minum campur sket dengan air panas so that it’ll be warm. To be frank, I don’t know the medicinal properties of these stuffs but yang aku tahu, setiap kali lepas minum, my body berpeluh peluh. Kalau dah tahan minum tak rasa nak muntah muntah lagi, gulp this down in replacement of water masa nak breastfeeding or meal time. Tapi tengok jugak baby, macam Anna tak berapa tahan perut dia bila aku minum kayu kayu ni, so I stopped at around 10th day. This third baby Nampak okay so sampai 54th day ni aku bantai. Stop if you feel this kayu kayan buat badan panas , you’d know bila tekak sakit and mulut pecah pecah. Or water down. The trick is, kena minum waktu dia suam, baru badan berpeluh Kalau air kat periuk tu dah sejuk, campur air suam waktu kau nak togok. Tak de le kau bagi alasan air dah sejuk la camne nak minum.
11. I took ikan haruan for the first 10 days, nothing else. Ikan haruan, sayur sawi + carrot and nasi. Itu je. Bila dah boring sket, substitute ngan ikan tenggiri. But selagi tak habis ikan haruan dalam freezer tu, selagi tu lah kena makan. I asked them kalau nak tumis pakai sesame or sunflower oil, only for my cooking. For fruit I took apple, oranges and pear. After 10 days boleh dah aku nak makan chicken ke daging ke. Must take all these chicken or daging sebab these are your protein sources. I took calcium and sangobion/obimin as supplement.
12. Bertungku. But I don’t think this contributes to the weight loss. People said it helps to contract the womb. I am a bit skeptical about that but aku suka the feeling of the heavy warm batu on my abdomen. It calms me down. And the smell of daun daun yang diorang balut the batu tu pun is very nice and relaxing. and bila batu panas tu kena perut, mesti angin keluar.. ikut mulut pun ada ikut bawah pun ada..
13. Breakfast. I eat breakfast banyak gila,lunch in moderation and dinner kalau boleh sket. Susah sebab The Man came back only for dinner, so i tend to eat banyak sebab duk berborak time dinner. nak ratah ratah sayur pun cepat benor rasanya aku perabihkan sup sayur tu. So kena control. But breakfast memang bantai banyak. After feeding yang subuh 5:30 tu, i always went down and gulped a glass of Milo with 4 slices of bread. Bread aku try toast without butter. Dalam dua tiga hari rasa dah used to the feeling of empty toast. Then 8 a.m. bantai oat dengan milo taruk nestum, kalau ada nasi goreng ambk la dalam semangkuk. I must make sure that my tummy is really full for breakfast. somehow it boosts the metabolism, i think.
14. Breast feeding. Ini memang aku rasa the main cause of weight loss. I read “How to Lose Weight While Breastfeeding” and she said about 700kcal is lost per day during nursing. Breastfeeding takes up a lot of kcal out from your body but it also increases your metobalism which can make you hungrier. masa my first kid, I reached out for chocolate cookies every single time after nursing. Hence little weight loss.
The trick aku buat kali ni is, masa baby dah uwek uwek nangis nak susu, cecepat gulp down one or two big glasses of water, baru feeding baby. lepas feeding, another two big glasses. Masa feeding pun kalau nak minum, aku galakkan sangat (provided your water refilling fairy ada la mengisi botol air kau). So you won’t feel the hunger sebab perut dah penuh. I have tall big bottles in all rooms.
Itu je lah yang saya buat. 5 kilos within 7 weeks? Boleh punya..
Knock Me!
Knock Myself
I want to drive a two-tonner coal hauling truck and knock myself over and over!
I know I have been saving some money aside since my second trimester just to splurge after the 40-day-after-labor delivery. Splurging is what I deserve after carrying the ever growing bulky tummy for nine months. Splurging is what I deserve after refraining myself from drinking coffee at the frequency I needed. Splurging is what I deserve after pushing three times to get the 3.6kg human being out from my 10cm dilated vagina (really? it was 10cm?!)
So I did splurge.
Splurge I did. Over splurge, more like it! Aghh.. *knocking head* The thing with shopping frenzy attack is, once you do it, you can never stop. The plastic card is not helping you either. You list out the items you bought and the prices of each. That wasn’t helpful for me. At last, announcing to the world wide web and making yourself look stupid is the last trump card. So here it is, my confession.
I got myself two hair treatments and a hair cut from a hairstylist I have been wanting since 5 or 6 years ago. Why two? Because I never though the Brazilian keratin treatment is finally here in Malaysia and My credit card was offering a 20pct discount on the day I went for the treatment. (okay enough justification. you are writing with the purpose to be ashamed of your own doing, not to justify).
I got three pairs of Thomas Chan shoes and another pair from Charles & Keith. And oh another pair from Reebok for my running activity (which is when? where?)
One pair legging from Isetan (its denim okay, and it makes my legs looks longer). And one pair of skirt. (in grey eh but I tot I already have grey skirt?). and one over the top cardigan that personalshopping.com says will look nice on people with my body shape. (note: this one has 20 pct discount)
two tops from MNG with the same design (okay, I figured out I was missing the whole 9 months fashion, was already too late for summer stocks and fall is too early for malaysian market, therefore simple spaghetti strap tops with blazer or jacket or cardigan is the safest bet to stay classic)
went to sunway pyramid and got myself another two pair of leggings (of course half the price of Isetan’s), one top in magenta, another top in turquoise (they will look a like in the eyes of my color-blind husband), one in grey and one top in avocado. oh yes another one simple spaghetti strap top that will add on to my line of that classic safe look. and to justify that these are requirement but I was still a smart savvy shopper, the bill of all these equal less than one top at Isetan.
oh yeah how could I forget the calf length black fancy skirt?
and the two bottles of shampoo and conditioner each (that is over RM100 per bottle)? (which has no sodium chloride that is harmful to the keratin treated hair)
and the spanx panty I order from the State? (gulping)
and 9 series of post natal massage.
Are these too much?
See? I didn’t get myself any perfume because I still have two bottles from my birthday present. No make up, since all my crème, and liquid, and stick foundations are still half way used. No eye color, no lippies. See? See? Am I a good girl or what?
Got myself justified. Figured out its my money anyway. Except for the fact that I might have to forget the brazilian wax, the digital perm, the ultimate perfect series of facial cleanser from Elken, the permanent hair removal for the legs and armpits, another Coach bag, a pair of red shiny pumps that are kind to feet and sexy to look at..
ooh the things a girl dreams do not mean the things a girl needs, right?
It harms me not to dream the other stuffs I want, as long as I don’t spend the next four available days roaming another mall!!
(ingatlah, semua ini harta dunia dan hanya sementara…eceh!!)
I want to drive a two-tonner coal hauling truck and knock myself over and over!
I know I have been saving some money aside since my second trimester just to splurge after the 40-day-after-labor delivery. Splurging is what I deserve after carrying the ever growing bulky tummy for nine months. Splurging is what I deserve after refraining myself from drinking coffee at the frequency I needed. Splurging is what I deserve after pushing three times to get the 3.6kg human being out from my 10cm dilated vagina (really? it was 10cm?!)
So I did splurge.
Splurge I did. Over splurge, more like it! Aghh.. *knocking head* The thing with shopping frenzy attack is, once you do it, you can never stop. The plastic card is not helping you either. You list out the items you bought and the prices of each. That wasn’t helpful for me. At last, announcing to the world wide web and making yourself look stupid is the last trump card. So here it is, my confession.
I got myself two hair treatments and a hair cut from a hairstylist I have been wanting since 5 or 6 years ago. Why two? Because I never though the Brazilian keratin treatment is finally here in Malaysia and My credit card was offering a 20pct discount on the day I went for the treatment. (okay enough justification. you are writing with the purpose to be ashamed of your own doing, not to justify).
I got three pairs of Thomas Chan shoes and another pair from Charles & Keith. And oh another pair from Reebok for my running activity (which is when? where?)
One pair legging from Isetan (its denim okay, and it makes my legs looks longer). And one pair of skirt. (in grey eh but I tot I already have grey skirt?). and one over the top cardigan that personalshopping.com says will look nice on people with my body shape. (note: this one has 20 pct discount)
two tops from MNG with the same design (okay, I figured out I was missing the whole 9 months fashion, was already too late for summer stocks and fall is too early for malaysian market, therefore simple spaghetti strap tops with blazer or jacket or cardigan is the safest bet to stay classic)
went to sunway pyramid and got myself another two pair of leggings (of course half the price of Isetan’s), one top in magenta, another top in turquoise (they will look a like in the eyes of my color-blind husband), one in grey and one top in avocado. oh yes another one simple spaghetti strap top that will add on to my line of that classic safe look. and to justify that these are requirement but I was still a smart savvy shopper, the bill of all these equal less than one top at Isetan.
oh yeah how could I forget the calf length black fancy skirt?
and the two bottles of shampoo and conditioner each (that is over RM100 per bottle)? (which has no sodium chloride that is harmful to the keratin treated hair)
and the spanx panty I order from the State? (gulping)
and 9 series of post natal massage.
Are these too much?
See? I didn’t get myself any perfume because I still have two bottles from my birthday present. No make up, since all my crème, and liquid, and stick foundations are still half way used. No eye color, no lippies. See? See? Am I a good girl or what?
Got myself justified. Figured out its my money anyway. Except for the fact that I might have to forget the brazilian wax, the digital perm, the ultimate perfect series of facial cleanser from Elken, the permanent hair removal for the legs and armpits, another Coach bag, a pair of red shiny pumps that are kind to feet and sexy to look at..
ooh the things a girl dreams do not mean the things a girl needs, right?
It harms me not to dream the other stuffs I want, as long as I don’t spend the next four available days roaming another mall!!
(ingatlah, semua ini harta dunia dan hanya sementara…eceh!!)
Monday, July 12, 2010
One More Week
One More Week
one more week and I’ll be back at work.
its funny that when you tried so hard not to remember things that happened just over your long holiday, you would drive along the highway and try very hard not to look at the building where you work.
i tried not to think of what is waiting for me at work, and how would I react knowing things that I worked on before my long leave is exactly at where I left them of.
other than that, the Man’s masters program is starting this week, today more exactly. he seemed excited, going over all the subjects that will be his favorite and subjects that he thinks are not relevant to him. I guess when the assignments start pouring in, the excitement shall be gone.. but for now, I enjoy seeing him excited stepping outside his usual limited box. I guess changes are always good for people, it made their brain work extra active and imagine more. Not knowing whether we can pull things through and juggle all the things existing around is exciting huh.
therefore, what is the change I need?
would i be the same ‘ol, same ‘ol?
would I dare stepping out the same usual box that I have been living within the past ten years? or would I be excited to be back to the same box, doing the same things with new challenges?
knowing that things went through the same when I wasn’t around made me think that perhaps, the place can survive without me. no, not perhaps, the place SURVIVE without me. Therefore I allow myself to be given the credit to. what I want to accomplish, has been accomplished.
perjuangan sudah selesai. what more to achieve?
I have one more week to think things through.
one more week and I’ll be back at work.
its funny that when you tried so hard not to remember things that happened just over your long holiday, you would drive along the highway and try very hard not to look at the building where you work.
i tried not to think of what is waiting for me at work, and how would I react knowing things that I worked on before my long leave is exactly at where I left them of.
other than that, the Man’s masters program is starting this week, today more exactly. he seemed excited, going over all the subjects that will be his favorite and subjects that he thinks are not relevant to him. I guess when the assignments start pouring in, the excitement shall be gone.. but for now, I enjoy seeing him excited stepping outside his usual limited box. I guess changes are always good for people, it made their brain work extra active and imagine more. Not knowing whether we can pull things through and juggle all the things existing around is exciting huh.
therefore, what is the change I need?
would i be the same ‘ol, same ‘ol?
would I dare stepping out the same usual box that I have been living within the past ten years? or would I be excited to be back to the same box, doing the same things with new challenges?
knowing that things went through the same when I wasn’t around made me think that perhaps, the place can survive without me. no, not perhaps, the place SURVIVE without me. Therefore I allow myself to be given the credit to. what I want to accomplish, has been accomplished.
perjuangan sudah selesai. what more to achieve?
I have one more week to think things through.
Friday, July 02, 2010
curik curik blogging
bangun pukul 5:00 pagi for Adam's second feeding of the night... then turun bawah pump sebab dia minum sebelah je.. mom's boob macam nak pecah je rasa sebelah kiri ni... naik atas, eh ternampak pulak pink laptop ni yang dah sehari tak terbukak... eh terblog la pulak pagi pagi ni.. rajinnya....
my new king sized bed rasa seperti kecil sahaja... ada tak rasanya double king sized bed? semua nak tido atas bed ni.. abang Azeuchry dahpandai dah, nak dozing off je tido atas ni, pastu daddy angkat tido atas tilam kat atas lantai tak naik naik dah.. si princess Anna ni, dah angkat tido atas junior cot dia, pandai pulak malam malam kerabat (panjat naik) katil ni.. padahal junior cot tu kitorang dah turunkan satu pengadang, rapatkan dengan katil mom and dad...
si Adam memang sepanjang malam tido bawah ketiak mommy.. mommy nak pusing kiri tossing kanan pun susah lah.. alahaiii.... rasa macam nak jadi kucing je, pakai tendang je anak sendiri...
berapa tahun lagi mau ini macam?!
hmm bila anak anak semua nak privacy, i'll miss all these fun ek...
i told Abang Azeuchry that nanti there'll be times where abang dah tak nak kiss mommy, tak nak hug mommy.. a few weeks ago lah aku cakap ni.. tup tup semalam dia cakap, "mommy kenapa mommy kata one day nanti kite tak nak kiss mommy, tak nak hug mommy, kenapa?" aku pun tak tahu nak cakap ape... then i said, "there'll be the time,sayang.. as for now, kiss and hug mommy as much as you want, okay".. then dia tanya lagi soklan tu... hehe.. then mommy pun dah tatau nak cakap ape...
my new king sized bed rasa seperti kecil sahaja... ada tak rasanya double king sized bed? semua nak tido atas bed ni.. abang Azeuchry dahpandai dah, nak dozing off je tido atas ni, pastu daddy angkat tido atas tilam kat atas lantai tak naik naik dah.. si princess Anna ni, dah angkat tido atas junior cot dia, pandai pulak malam malam kerabat (panjat naik) katil ni.. padahal junior cot tu kitorang dah turunkan satu pengadang, rapatkan dengan katil mom and dad...
si Adam memang sepanjang malam tido bawah ketiak mommy.. mommy nak pusing kiri tossing kanan pun susah lah.. alahaiii.... rasa macam nak jadi kucing je, pakai tendang je anak sendiri...
berapa tahun lagi mau ini macam?!
hmm bila anak anak semua nak privacy, i'll miss all these fun ek...
i told Abang Azeuchry that nanti there'll be times where abang dah tak nak kiss mommy, tak nak hug mommy.. a few weeks ago lah aku cakap ni.. tup tup semalam dia cakap, "mommy kenapa mommy kata one day nanti kite tak nak kiss mommy, tak nak hug mommy, kenapa?" aku pun tak tahu nak cakap ape... then i said, "there'll be the time,sayang.. as for now, kiss and hug mommy as much as you want, okay".. then dia tanya lagi soklan tu... hehe.. then mommy pun dah tatau nak cakap ape...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Between One Kid and Another
I breastfed li'l Adam, let him sleep with my tit in his mouth. I did that to Azeuchry, too. They said boys are like that. They dozed off, mulut ternganga cam buaya, then only I could let my tit out and slept straight on my back. They slept, woke up and cried, and I switched boob, again, tit in the mouths.
With Anna, once she was asleep, my Maid took her and let her sleep somewhere else, mostly in the endoi (buaian). She woke up and cried, and my Maid took her back to me to nurse.
Lately I have been feeling that I have not been fair to Anna. She is the only girl, doesn't she deserve a lot of attention, hugs and kisses?
Last night on the way to back to Kampung, she was at the back with my Maid and abang Azeuchry. When it was only Anna and Azeuchry, Azeuchry sat in front with Mommy. And now since Adam is the littlest one, Anna had to give in and sat at the back. It is such a pain, i felt, as i held Adam closer to me at the front seat. (yes i know it was dangerously against the law but that is what breastfeeding mom do who has a maid, takkan Maid aku nak duduk depan dengan laki aku kot?) It is a pain to long to hold one kid but the other kid is requiring my attention.
I guess I understand the middle child syndrome a little bit better. With the first one, she always have to give in because Abang is always screaming for attention. With the littlest baby, she always have to give in because mom needs to give the boobsies to Adik.
I want to be fair. God help me to be fair.
I should pay more attention to Anna. She is big enough to understand that she is not being paid attention to. The least I want to hear when she grows up is Mom always hug and love the boys more, both Abang and Adik.
With Anna, once she was asleep, my Maid took her and let her sleep somewhere else, mostly in the endoi (buaian). She woke up and cried, and my Maid took her back to me to nurse.
Lately I have been feeling that I have not been fair to Anna. She is the only girl, doesn't she deserve a lot of attention, hugs and kisses?
Last night on the way to back to Kampung, she was at the back with my Maid and abang Azeuchry. When it was only Anna and Azeuchry, Azeuchry sat in front with Mommy. And now since Adam is the littlest one, Anna had to give in and sat at the back. It is such a pain, i felt, as i held Adam closer to me at the front seat. (yes i know it was dangerously against the law but that is what breastfeeding mom do who has a maid, takkan Maid aku nak duduk depan dengan laki aku kot?) It is a pain to long to hold one kid but the other kid is requiring my attention.
I guess I understand the middle child syndrome a little bit better. With the first one, she always have to give in because Abang is always screaming for attention. With the littlest baby, she always have to give in because mom needs to give the boobsies to Adik.
I want to be fair. God help me to be fair.
I should pay more attention to Anna. She is big enough to understand that she is not being paid attention to. The least I want to hear when she grows up is Mom always hug and love the boys more, both Abang and Adik.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tidurlah Adik Adam..
Been feeding since 10:30 p.m. Letak je, uwaa balik. Ni dah pukul 12:30, letak, setiap kali baby Adam tried to uwa, i stroke his hair. Perhaps the stroking, or perhaps he pun dah tak larat nak uwa uwa dah dekat dua jam ni.
Baby boy orang kata jangan bagi nangis banyak sangat. Nanti sakit pasang. Hernia. With Azuechry pun pernah ada history hernia operation, mommy pun malas nak bagi Adik Adam nangis lama lama. Tapi bila mommy pun dah dekat dua jam mengendong, menyusu, mommy pun naik pening dah niii...
But reading the blog by Sharulniza, at http://mayyonnizz.blogspot.com , made mommy aware that i am thankful to be given that 2 hours of non stop rocking-feeding-rocking-singing-feeding. At least Adik Adam sihat dengan mommy. Thinking that we almost lost you made me appreciate your presence more. Jadi nangis lah lagi sayang, mommy ada nak menyediakan 'pacifier' semula jadi yang adik Adam suka sangat ni...
Baby boy orang kata jangan bagi nangis banyak sangat. Nanti sakit pasang. Hernia. With Azuechry pun pernah ada history hernia operation, mommy pun malas nak bagi Adik Adam nangis lama lama. Tapi bila mommy pun dah dekat dua jam mengendong, menyusu, mommy pun naik pening dah niii...
But reading the blog by Sharulniza, at http://mayyonnizz.blogspot.com , made mommy aware that i am thankful to be given that 2 hours of non stop rocking-feeding-rocking-singing-feeding. At least Adik Adam sihat dengan mommy. Thinking that we almost lost you made me appreciate your presence more. Jadi nangis lah lagi sayang, mommy ada nak menyediakan 'pacifier' semula jadi yang adik Adam suka sangat ni...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Cerita Maid Aku dan Isteri Penghulu Yang Terlampau..
My maid has been telling me that she would want to have a one month off toward end of the year. So it puzzled us when she asked to go back in May. I mean, my EDD is in May, it is the most important month of the year, why leave us? But we gave her the benefit of doubt when she said that there were troubles at home. She also had stopped asking me whether she’ll get a payrise once the new baby is born.
Her flight back here was on June 2nd. Two days before that she called up saying that she wouldn’t be coming back since the husband has just been hospitalized. We gulped the news in. I was still hoping and berangan that all these are just dreams and she’ll be on that flight coming back. At last we allowed her another two weeks leave.
A week after that, when we know that the husband has been discharged, we wanted to call her up to talk about the flight arrangement. We couldn’t get her and several times, the husband said she was out.
I was napping around 4 yesterday when she called me up. Crying. I really thought the husband is dead. So dengan perasaan sedihnya aku bertanya whether the husband is okay. She said okay. Then she said she is already here in Malaysia. That she is working with someone who has loaned her money (of RM2,500). I worried that she borrowed monies from along and she is forced to work in a ‘bad place’. You keje dengan China ke? You keje tempat tak elok ke? Diorang pukul you ke? Are you okay? Itulah ayat ayat kerisauan seorang employer terhadap maidnya.
Then she said a neighbor of mine. That neighbor of mine is the wife of the pengerusi persatuan penduduk my section, kira macam penghulu. My maid was sent to her daughter in Cheras.
I was like, what? Bukannya neighbor aku tu tak Nampak I was carrying this bump in my tummy, and know that I could deliver any time. With a little baby and another two kids, I would greatly need the maid’s help around. And she does what? Steal my maid away to be given to her daughter who apparently is NOT pregnant.
My maid I think was feeling very very guilty to me, compounded to the fact that her Cheras employer doesn’t allow her to mix around with the persatuan bibik bibik di taman itu, seperti aku yang baik hati ini. She confessed everything to me but her story kept changing. I didn’t believe 100% of her story but I didn’t have to listen more to know the real truth.
My neighbor, yang patutnya menjadi the most respected elderly, KakPuteri (bukan nama sebenar) had lured her into borrowing monies from her, persuaded my desperate-for-money maid to go back in May, coming back here and work for her daughter. They knew very well that it was the Man’s name in the Permit to Work yang laki aku baru renew few months ago and will be valid until end of the year.
Yang maid aku pun bodoh, tak de saving nak balik buat ape? What to eat there? Aku la macam orang bodoh hari tu advancekan gaji dia satu bulan supaya she has some monies to spare. Idiot, rupa rupanya she had RM2,500 to spend and berjoli sakan while me here, while eating any good meal, teringat ingat lah ape yang dia makan agaknya kat kampong Indon tu.. The RM2,500 was given in return that my maid, upon her return must first lie to us saying that she cannot come back, second call KakPuteri to go and pick her up dekat LCCT (return ticket booked by us tapi seb baik guna duit my maid) and three go to work at KakPuteri’s daughter’s house. After few days, finding out that the daughter is not as kind as me, (uwek), dia sudah rasa bersalah, calling me back menangis nangis. I accepted her back, for the sake of the kids (and ketidaktahan melihat unwashed dishes in the sink and unironed shirts). She confronted the new employer, who then conveniently chased her away from the house, and took a cab to Bangi.
After she is safely home with us, lots of calls coming in. Apparently KakPUteri wants her monies back. Dekat phone aku pun there were like three missed calls from an unknown numbers. I didn’t pick up. Strategizing with the Man on what to say. We decided to put on hold any action until this weekend. I mean, we were cheated and were so much in anger, any action done can damage the relationship and peace of the neighborhood.
The next day, KakPuteri came to see me. Tak bagi salam, terus masuk pagar rumah aku. She called out my maid, scolding her not picking up the phone. Pastu , eh ini lagi best kalau aku buat script untuk tatapan korang. Macam ni eh;
Me: Kenapa KakPuteri?
Her: tak de le, akak nak duit akak balik.
Me: Kakputeri pun tahu mana la bibik saya ada duit banyak itu. Gaji dia pun atas sikit dari RM500. RM500 je lah dia boleh bayar kat akak skrg ni.
Her: Abih tu, kalau dia tak boleh bayar, kenapa dia pinjam duit akak dulu?
Me: (innocently, oh my face must have looked so sweet at that time) La.. abih tu , kenapa Kakputeri bagi dia pinjam banyak tu skali?
Her: (Terkedu) dah lah. Yang dah lepas kakputeri tak mau cakap dah..
(aku menjemputnya masuk di kala ini, dan duduk di depan tv sambil Anna menonton SnowWhite bab Snow White suruh the dwarfs pergi basuh tangan)
Her: Kamu tak boleh ke bayarkan untuk dia?
Me: (in my head, ‘bukan aku yang berhutang ngan kau, silly’, tetapi di mulut, yang terkeluar adalah: ) saya dan suami dah berbincang, kami tak de ape nak pegang dia kalau bayarkan penuh. Kami berbincang, jalan terbaik potong gaji dia tiap tiap bulan. 29th tiap tiap bulan dia dapat gaji, kami akan bagi dia cash untuk dia bayar kakputeri. RM500 sebulan, 5 bulan habis lah hutang dia kat kakputeri.
Her: Mana boleh. AKak bagi dia penuh, dia bayar bulan bulan.
Me: Akak boleh charge interest pun kalau akak nak. (was about to suggest klibor rate at the day of negotiation, ataupun bank Negara rate, tak pun maybank rate)
Her: Eih tak de le akak nak charge charge bunga ni. Berdosa. Kamu takkan tak de duit nak bayarkan dia? Akak nak pakai duit ni bulan ni. RM1000 pun jadilah.
Me: Kalau saya ada duit pun saya tak kan bayar kak. Apa saya nak pegang dia lepas ni? Kalau saya bayarkan, esok dia lari macammana?
Her: Kamu pegang le passport dia.
Me: La. Passport tu, kaalu dia nak lari, dia lari je tinggalkan passport dia. Nak nak kalau ada orang memang dah nak gajikan dia. (cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical, tetapi dia tetap mati kering tidak mengakui kesalahannya… aduhai geramnya saya)
Her: Itule kamu, gaji tu rendah sangat . Dia dah dua tahun tu, boring la tu kalau gaji rendah.
Me: Nak buat camne kakputeri, itu je yang saya mampu gajikan dia. (at this time I was paying her RM550 per month, dengan janji nak naikkan gaji bila baby baru ada). Kalau dia dapat offer lagi bagus, saya tak boleh nak halaang dia pergi. Cuma kena cakap le kat saya kan, sebab dalam passport tu nama husband saya tertulis sebagai employer. Ada enam bulan lagi permit dia tu nak tamat. Apa apa jadi kat dia, husband saya kena bertanggungjawab.
Her: (Diam. Tidak mampu berkata ape)
Me: Kami kena ada cash kakputeri. ANak saya baru tiga minggu. Dua orang lagi kakak ngan abang tu kecik lagi, tak leh kalau tak ada maid. Kalau maid saya lari (masih cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical dikala ini, oh aku orang yang baik uwek!), kalau maid saya lari lagi, memula kami kena pergi immigration nak apply maid baru, kena bayar denda RM2,500 .. pastu nak apply yang baru mau lima enam ribu abiss, pastu bukan waktu tu jugak boleh dapat, bebudak ni kena la antar nursery sana day care sini, dah berapa ratus dah abis.
Her: (Long silence). Iye, iye, kakputeri tahu semua process process tu. (dalam hati aku, dah tahu process apapasal tak apply maid ikut tatacara yang betul, nak pakai ambik je maid aku yang permitnye masih valid). Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak de?
Me: Kak Puteri, kalau saya ada pun, saya tak boleh nak bayarkan.. (tersenyum panjang, tanda menghormati)
Her: Tak de le. Kita ni kumpul duit , masuk dalam saving account, tetiba je hilang macam tu saja.
Me: Ha’ah kakputeri. Saya paham. Kita kerja teruk teruk , balik rumah malam baru jumpa anak, kumpul duit, tetiba je sedebuk hilang gitu je kan duit kita. Masa nak ambik dia dulu pun 4 5 ribu jugak hilang macam tu je. Hujung hujung tahun nak renew permit dia dekat seribu ha habis… sedebuk je, kumpul bulan bulan, hilang macam tu je kan.. saya paham kakputeri (abih tu, kau senang senang nak ambik maid aku tak paham paham lagi?!)
Her: (masih diam)
Me: Saya minta maaf lah mende ni jadi kat kakputeri. Mesti menyusahkan kakputeri, kan. (kau tu yang lagi banyak nak menyusahkan aku). Saya dengan suami pun tak tahu macammana nak tolong kakputeri. Semalam kami dah Tanya pendapat immigration, police semua. Indonesian embassy je masih belum kami Tanya pendapat. Nanti saya nak tanyakan lawyer saya yang based dia kat Jakarta nanti, ape nak buat. Perlu ke nak lodge report supaya ada bukti dia pernah lari? Kami ingat sabtu ni lah nak gi jumpa kak puteri dan cikgubedul (bukan nama sebenar) nak explain yang maid kami memang tak de duit banyak gitu nak bayar. Yang mampu dia bayar bulan bulan je..
Her: Tak payah. Cikgubedul kata dari dulu dia tak nak masuk campur hal ni.
Her: Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak boleh bayar.
Me: (senyum).
Her: Okaylah kak puteri balik dulu. Kamu bersiap ni nak gi mana?
Me: Oh nak gi kedai depan jap beli mee kuning, sat gi tengahari lawyer Indonesia tu nak dataang, takde pe nak jamu.
Her: (keluar rumah aku lepas salam ngan maklagn aku)
I tot I missed out all the fun negotiating at work, but this is indeed, much fun! Hahaha… My maid came running to me after that, I just told her that if she needs to go for a better offer, I understand, but please inform us earlier. Sian anak anak aku. Berdrama kejap lah aku. Dia pun menangis nangis, si ajin and yati akan cakap ini air mata crocodile.
For now, I’m having fun leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink. But I know that trust I must not to this maid of mine.
Kepada Allah aku berserah, Kau maha Penentu, pada tangan Kau aku serahkan nasib anak anak aku dan harta bende aku. Maka peliharalah anak-anak aku dan bumbung tempat kami berteduh. Sesungguhnya kau lah maha Memelihara. Itu memang doa aku pagi pagi masa pandang muka maid aku tutupkan pagar masa aku start kereta nak pi kerja. Itulah doa aku yang akan dataang.
So, ape pendapat korang?
Her flight back here was on June 2nd. Two days before that she called up saying that she wouldn’t be coming back since the husband has just been hospitalized. We gulped the news in. I was still hoping and berangan that all these are just dreams and she’ll be on that flight coming back. At last we allowed her another two weeks leave.
A week after that, when we know that the husband has been discharged, we wanted to call her up to talk about the flight arrangement. We couldn’t get her and several times, the husband said she was out.
I was napping around 4 yesterday when she called me up. Crying. I really thought the husband is dead. So dengan perasaan sedihnya aku bertanya whether the husband is okay. She said okay. Then she said she is already here in Malaysia. That she is working with someone who has loaned her money (of RM2,500). I worried that she borrowed monies from along and she is forced to work in a ‘bad place’. You keje dengan China ke? You keje tempat tak elok ke? Diorang pukul you ke? Are you okay? Itulah ayat ayat kerisauan seorang employer terhadap maidnya.
Then she said a neighbor of mine. That neighbor of mine is the wife of the pengerusi persatuan penduduk my section, kira macam penghulu. My maid was sent to her daughter in Cheras.
I was like, what? Bukannya neighbor aku tu tak Nampak I was carrying this bump in my tummy, and know that I could deliver any time. With a little baby and another two kids, I would greatly need the maid’s help around. And she does what? Steal my maid away to be given to her daughter who apparently is NOT pregnant.
My maid I think was feeling very very guilty to me, compounded to the fact that her Cheras employer doesn’t allow her to mix around with the persatuan bibik bibik di taman itu, seperti aku yang baik hati ini. She confessed everything to me but her story kept changing. I didn’t believe 100% of her story but I didn’t have to listen more to know the real truth.
My neighbor, yang patutnya menjadi the most respected elderly, KakPuteri (bukan nama sebenar) had lured her into borrowing monies from her, persuaded my desperate-for-money maid to go back in May, coming back here and work for her daughter. They knew very well that it was the Man’s name in the Permit to Work yang laki aku baru renew few months ago and will be valid until end of the year.
Yang maid aku pun bodoh, tak de saving nak balik buat ape? What to eat there? Aku la macam orang bodoh hari tu advancekan gaji dia satu bulan supaya she has some monies to spare. Idiot, rupa rupanya she had RM2,500 to spend and berjoli sakan while me here, while eating any good meal, teringat ingat lah ape yang dia makan agaknya kat kampong Indon tu.. The RM2,500 was given in return that my maid, upon her return must first lie to us saying that she cannot come back, second call KakPuteri to go and pick her up dekat LCCT (return ticket booked by us tapi seb baik guna duit my maid) and three go to work at KakPuteri’s daughter’s house. After few days, finding out that the daughter is not as kind as me, (uwek), dia sudah rasa bersalah, calling me back menangis nangis. I accepted her back, for the sake of the kids (and ketidaktahan melihat unwashed dishes in the sink and unironed shirts). She confronted the new employer, who then conveniently chased her away from the house, and took a cab to Bangi.
After she is safely home with us, lots of calls coming in. Apparently KakPUteri wants her monies back. Dekat phone aku pun there were like three missed calls from an unknown numbers. I didn’t pick up. Strategizing with the Man on what to say. We decided to put on hold any action until this weekend. I mean, we were cheated and were so much in anger, any action done can damage the relationship and peace of the neighborhood.
The next day, KakPuteri came to see me. Tak bagi salam, terus masuk pagar rumah aku. She called out my maid, scolding her not picking up the phone. Pastu , eh ini lagi best kalau aku buat script untuk tatapan korang. Macam ni eh;
Me: Kenapa KakPuteri?
Her: tak de le, akak nak duit akak balik.
Me: Kakputeri pun tahu mana la bibik saya ada duit banyak itu. Gaji dia pun atas sikit dari RM500. RM500 je lah dia boleh bayar kat akak skrg ni.
Her: Abih tu, kalau dia tak boleh bayar, kenapa dia pinjam duit akak dulu?
Me: (innocently, oh my face must have looked so sweet at that time) La.. abih tu , kenapa Kakputeri bagi dia pinjam banyak tu skali?
Her: (Terkedu) dah lah. Yang dah lepas kakputeri tak mau cakap dah..
(aku menjemputnya masuk di kala ini, dan duduk di depan tv sambil Anna menonton SnowWhite bab Snow White suruh the dwarfs pergi basuh tangan)
Her: Kamu tak boleh ke bayarkan untuk dia?
Me: (in my head, ‘bukan aku yang berhutang ngan kau, silly’, tetapi di mulut, yang terkeluar adalah: ) saya dan suami dah berbincang, kami tak de ape nak pegang dia kalau bayarkan penuh. Kami berbincang, jalan terbaik potong gaji dia tiap tiap bulan. 29th tiap tiap bulan dia dapat gaji, kami akan bagi dia cash untuk dia bayar kakputeri. RM500 sebulan, 5 bulan habis lah hutang dia kat kakputeri.
Her: Mana boleh. AKak bagi dia penuh, dia bayar bulan bulan.
Me: Akak boleh charge interest pun kalau akak nak. (was about to suggest klibor rate at the day of negotiation, ataupun bank Negara rate, tak pun maybank rate)
Her: Eih tak de le akak nak charge charge bunga ni. Berdosa. Kamu takkan tak de duit nak bayarkan dia? Akak nak pakai duit ni bulan ni. RM1000 pun jadilah.
Me: Kalau saya ada duit pun saya tak kan bayar kak. Apa saya nak pegang dia lepas ni? Kalau saya bayarkan, esok dia lari macammana?
Her: Kamu pegang le passport dia.
Me: La. Passport tu, kaalu dia nak lari, dia lari je tinggalkan passport dia. Nak nak kalau ada orang memang dah nak gajikan dia. (cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical, tetapi dia tetap mati kering tidak mengakui kesalahannya… aduhai geramnya saya)
Her: Itule kamu, gaji tu rendah sangat . Dia dah dua tahun tu, boring la tu kalau gaji rendah.
Me: Nak buat camne kakputeri, itu je yang saya mampu gajikan dia. (at this time I was paying her RM550 per month, dengan janji nak naikkan gaji bila baby baru ada). Kalau dia dapat offer lagi bagus, saya tak boleh nak halaang dia pergi. Cuma kena cakap le kat saya kan, sebab dalam passport tu nama husband saya tertulis sebagai employer. Ada enam bulan lagi permit dia tu nak tamat. Apa apa jadi kat dia, husband saya kena bertanggungjawab.
Her: (Diam. Tidak mampu berkata ape)
Me: Kami kena ada cash kakputeri. ANak saya baru tiga minggu. Dua orang lagi kakak ngan abang tu kecik lagi, tak leh kalau tak ada maid. Kalau maid saya lari (masih cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical dikala ini, oh aku orang yang baik uwek!), kalau maid saya lari lagi, memula kami kena pergi immigration nak apply maid baru, kena bayar denda RM2,500 .. pastu nak apply yang baru mau lima enam ribu abiss, pastu bukan waktu tu jugak boleh dapat, bebudak ni kena la antar nursery sana day care sini, dah berapa ratus dah abis.
Her: (Long silence). Iye, iye, kakputeri tahu semua process process tu. (dalam hati aku, dah tahu process apapasal tak apply maid ikut tatacara yang betul, nak pakai ambik je maid aku yang permitnye masih valid). Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak de?
Me: Kak Puteri, kalau saya ada pun, saya tak boleh nak bayarkan.. (tersenyum panjang, tanda menghormati)
Her: Tak de le. Kita ni kumpul duit , masuk dalam saving account, tetiba je hilang macam tu saja.
Me: Ha’ah kakputeri. Saya paham. Kita kerja teruk teruk , balik rumah malam baru jumpa anak, kumpul duit, tetiba je sedebuk hilang gitu je kan duit kita. Masa nak ambik dia dulu pun 4 5 ribu jugak hilang macam tu je. Hujung hujung tahun nak renew permit dia dekat seribu ha habis… sedebuk je, kumpul bulan bulan, hilang macam tu je kan.. saya paham kakputeri (abih tu, kau senang senang nak ambik maid aku tak paham paham lagi?!)
Her: (masih diam)
Me: Saya minta maaf lah mende ni jadi kat kakputeri. Mesti menyusahkan kakputeri, kan. (kau tu yang lagi banyak nak menyusahkan aku). Saya dengan suami pun tak tahu macammana nak tolong kakputeri. Semalam kami dah Tanya pendapat immigration, police semua. Indonesian embassy je masih belum kami Tanya pendapat. Nanti saya nak tanyakan lawyer saya yang based dia kat Jakarta nanti, ape nak buat. Perlu ke nak lodge report supaya ada bukti dia pernah lari? Kami ingat sabtu ni lah nak gi jumpa kak puteri dan cikgubedul (bukan nama sebenar) nak explain yang maid kami memang tak de duit banyak gitu nak bayar. Yang mampu dia bayar bulan bulan je..
Her: Tak payah. Cikgubedul kata dari dulu dia tak nak masuk campur hal ni.
Her: Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak boleh bayar.
Me: (senyum).
Her: Okaylah kak puteri balik dulu. Kamu bersiap ni nak gi mana?
Me: Oh nak gi kedai depan jap beli mee kuning, sat gi tengahari lawyer Indonesia tu nak dataang, takde pe nak jamu.
Her: (keluar rumah aku lepas salam ngan maklagn aku)
I tot I missed out all the fun negotiating at work, but this is indeed, much fun! Hahaha… My maid came running to me after that, I just told her that if she needs to go for a better offer, I understand, but please inform us earlier. Sian anak anak aku. Berdrama kejap lah aku. Dia pun menangis nangis, si ajin and yati akan cakap ini air mata crocodile.
For now, I’m having fun leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink. But I know that trust I must not to this maid of mine.
Kepada Allah aku berserah, Kau maha Penentu, pada tangan Kau aku serahkan nasib anak anak aku dan harta bende aku. Maka peliharalah anak-anak aku dan bumbung tempat kami berteduh. Sesungguhnya kau lah maha Memelihara. Itu memang doa aku pagi pagi masa pandang muka maid aku tutupkan pagar masa aku start kereta nak pi kerja. Itulah doa aku yang akan dataang.
So, ape pendapat korang?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
the labor story. the final labor story.
I owe you BIG.. The story of my labor. .Without induction. Without epidural the drug.
I am not against epidural. In fact I believe it is a wonderful creation kinda drug to calm down the moms which also means calming the baby. But one, I was itched to know how the real labor is and two, I want to eat my pain killer right away after the labor. Taking the epidural means you can only take something orally (food, water, anything) two hours after they have taken the epidural and the pain of the womb contracting AFTER Labor (they called it Rengat in Malay) is something that I couldn’t take, therefore having the epidural off means I could deal with the Rengat (hopefully) easily after the labor.
So I bled in the morning of Monday. Blood is always my show. I had it for both Azeuchry and Anna, and went into the labor room straight away. This time, I waited until late in the afternoon, until the Man finished his first day of bowling tournament organized by the Headquarters. (Two B I have hated : the Badminton and the Bowling). It is a big tournament, involving the five regions held biannual, so it is important for him, right, right, right? (Seperti biasa, akulah isteri yang memahami dan paling best di Dunia, uwek)
So we went in to the labor room in the late afternoon, stopped Dr Delaila from going home and asked her to poke me. It happened that it was only 1 cm. (it it always 1 cm when the blood come out, it was 1cm too for Anna and Azeuchry). I asked to go home, told her straight in the face that I am trying to do this one without being induced and without epidural. She nodded. Weird she didn’t give me that option during my first two. Kenapa ya.. mengingatkan aku pada grey’s anatomy where all surgeons are trying to defy the gravity, the rules of God. Haha..
So we went home, sempat lagi pergi singgah kedai perabot nak book new shoe rack menggantikan shoe rack aku yang dah tertonggeng, screamed happily seeing the kids faces and slept through the night hugging Anna and savoring the thick memory foam mattress feeling, knowing that my nights after that night will never be the same hahaks.
My first contraction started at around 12 midnight. Sharp pain behind and lenguh lenguh kaki. It was like once in one hour time. Mild. Manageable. Come subuh it was already once in 30 minutes. I remember to time myself and to breathe deeply everytime the contraction comes. ‘Facebook’ed asking around how exactly the contraction feels. Why mine hurting my back more than my tummy? And you will ask, “dan ini anak ketiga kau?” Haha..
Tried to sleep in between the contraction. It kinda went away around 10 in the morning. Then around noon, it was like once in twenty minutes. That it went quietly, nada, none, from 3 – 4. The Man was back, feverish, after two-days of bowling. He went to the clinic. At around 3, he called said that the clinic wanted to ward him for the fever might be dengue. He requested for iV Drip and that would take two hours. At around 5, my contraction is around 10 minutes duration. I was panicking between remembering to breathe deeply, to look at the watch to time myself and to recite some Zikr. He came back around 5:30, sempat lagi tu mengecheck emailnya kat PC nya, I was trying very hard to stay calm. HE went solat, and off to SJMC we went.
By the time I got into the car, at around 6:30, the contraction is around 8 – 10 minutes, at times it was 5 minutes per. He sped through the Sungai Besi tolls, and took NPE, just to be caught in the flowing traffic from kL going to kuchai lama and/or sungai besi town. It was 7 o’clock and I recited syahadah non stop, the pain somehow eased off when the Man was busy maneuvering the traffic. We were about 45 minutes stucked at the head of NPE.
We finally reached SJMC around 7:50 and a big contraction came in as I wanted to go out from the car. A lady offered the wheel chair but I don’t think sitting would help. Tried to walk calmly to the labor room at Fourth Floor while the Man went and parked the car. A guy asked whether I was okay in the lift and I said, holding on with a big smile to him. His wife might already be in the labor room. My eyes searched for a mid-wife, finding one, handed her over my appointment card and said, “every 5 minutes now”. She shoved me in, checked me out and said, ‘8 cm already’. No time for epidural. That was a relief.
Quickly told her that I was strep B positive before and got a shot of antibiotic. Was taught to use the gas mask. Doctor came to get the water broken and went out. Then the contraction frequency is uncounted. I inhaled the gas deeply everytime it came. It was not bad. I have been praying for a fast and easy labor, hoped so hard it was given to me. Then the doctor came. They asked me to push hard, this time without the gas, just to break the 9cm to10cm. Then I could feel the bulging feeling. Then another push, came out the head. I could not take any break anymore, since the bulging feeling is naturally force my body to push the baby out. The third and final push, the whole body came out and the bulging feeling is gone. (oh yea while I was still hoping it was a girl, the first thing that was flashed to me was his testis) There I was thanking God for the fast and relatively easy labor, the most importantly the baby was safe. The doctor asked me for the final push, which was not painful, to take the placenta out. The Man was asked to cut the cord, and finally, my baby boy was taken away from me, from a life hanging to mommy’s womb. My baby boy was free. And he was free safely.
While the Man snapped the baby’s picture away when the nurses cleaned him up and azan to his little crumpled ear, the doctor and my midwife was busy pushing lots of blood clots from my tummy. They squeezed my tummy hard, I could feel lumps of solid coming out. She finally stitched me and again, found out that the lumps keep coming out. Again they squeezed my tummy. When they took me down to my room, I found out that the lumps were still coming out heavily and again, the nurse squeezed and massaged my tummy downwards. At first I was like, sakit la you idiot, then I was like, get me my pain killer. Gulped down a big glass of Milo and then the two ponstan tablet. My ‘tumpah darah’ was not that bad, but told the Man, this is our final final. Period. Feverish body later that night. Compounded by the cold a/c, I had sleepless night.
The pead monitored the boy for three nights, since the Strep B virus might be giving him effect but it didn’t. Get him circumcised on Day 2. He started latching properly on Day 3. The Man was with me. The first night he was a hero, The second night he was whimpering and whinning in his sleep, the third night he went back home and finally I had a peaceful night. He came picking us up, got the bills and off to home!
The two kids back home were not allowed to the Hospital, so they were so happy seeing mom’s face. Azeuchry kept asking me about the new baby everytime I called home.
That was 25 days ago and mom finally regain the strength and faced the PC again. He was named on 14th Day. Adam Zulqarnain. The first man on earth and a leader’s name. the cord stump dropped at Day 17 and the ring over the little penis on Day 16. The Man bathed him and once he started working, I took over. It was awkward at first but I got the hang of it by Day 8 or 9 I think. Haha.
I am not against epidural. In fact I believe it is a wonderful creation kinda drug to calm down the moms which also means calming the baby. But one, I was itched to know how the real labor is and two, I want to eat my pain killer right away after the labor. Taking the epidural means you can only take something orally (food, water, anything) two hours after they have taken the epidural and the pain of the womb contracting AFTER Labor (they called it Rengat in Malay) is something that I couldn’t take, therefore having the epidural off means I could deal with the Rengat (hopefully) easily after the labor.
So I bled in the morning of Monday. Blood is always my show. I had it for both Azeuchry and Anna, and went into the labor room straight away. This time, I waited until late in the afternoon, until the Man finished his first day of bowling tournament organized by the Headquarters. (Two B I have hated : the Badminton and the Bowling). It is a big tournament, involving the five regions held biannual, so it is important for him, right, right, right? (Seperti biasa, akulah isteri yang memahami dan paling best di Dunia, uwek)
So we went in to the labor room in the late afternoon, stopped Dr Delaila from going home and asked her to poke me. It happened that it was only 1 cm. (it it always 1 cm when the blood come out, it was 1cm too for Anna and Azeuchry). I asked to go home, told her straight in the face that I am trying to do this one without being induced and without epidural. She nodded. Weird she didn’t give me that option during my first two. Kenapa ya.. mengingatkan aku pada grey’s anatomy where all surgeons are trying to defy the gravity, the rules of God. Haha..
So we went home, sempat lagi pergi singgah kedai perabot nak book new shoe rack menggantikan shoe rack aku yang dah tertonggeng, screamed happily seeing the kids faces and slept through the night hugging Anna and savoring the thick memory foam mattress feeling, knowing that my nights after that night will never be the same hahaks.
My first contraction started at around 12 midnight. Sharp pain behind and lenguh lenguh kaki. It was like once in one hour time. Mild. Manageable. Come subuh it was already once in 30 minutes. I remember to time myself and to breathe deeply everytime the contraction comes. ‘Facebook’ed asking around how exactly the contraction feels. Why mine hurting my back more than my tummy? And you will ask, “dan ini anak ketiga kau?” Haha..
Tried to sleep in between the contraction. It kinda went away around 10 in the morning. Then around noon, it was like once in twenty minutes. That it went quietly, nada, none, from 3 – 4. The Man was back, feverish, after two-days of bowling. He went to the clinic. At around 3, he called said that the clinic wanted to ward him for the fever might be dengue. He requested for iV Drip and that would take two hours. At around 5, my contraction is around 10 minutes duration. I was panicking between remembering to breathe deeply, to look at the watch to time myself and to recite some Zikr. He came back around 5:30, sempat lagi tu mengecheck emailnya kat PC nya, I was trying very hard to stay calm. HE went solat, and off to SJMC we went.
By the time I got into the car, at around 6:30, the contraction is around 8 – 10 minutes, at times it was 5 minutes per. He sped through the Sungai Besi tolls, and took NPE, just to be caught in the flowing traffic from kL going to kuchai lama and/or sungai besi town. It was 7 o’clock and I recited syahadah non stop, the pain somehow eased off when the Man was busy maneuvering the traffic. We were about 45 minutes stucked at the head of NPE.
We finally reached SJMC around 7:50 and a big contraction came in as I wanted to go out from the car. A lady offered the wheel chair but I don’t think sitting would help. Tried to walk calmly to the labor room at Fourth Floor while the Man went and parked the car. A guy asked whether I was okay in the lift and I said, holding on with a big smile to him. His wife might already be in the labor room. My eyes searched for a mid-wife, finding one, handed her over my appointment card and said, “every 5 minutes now”. She shoved me in, checked me out and said, ‘8 cm already’. No time for epidural. That was a relief.
Quickly told her that I was strep B positive before and got a shot of antibiotic. Was taught to use the gas mask. Doctor came to get the water broken and went out. Then the contraction frequency is uncounted. I inhaled the gas deeply everytime it came. It was not bad. I have been praying for a fast and easy labor, hoped so hard it was given to me. Then the doctor came. They asked me to push hard, this time without the gas, just to break the 9cm to10cm. Then I could feel the bulging feeling. Then another push, came out the head. I could not take any break anymore, since the bulging feeling is naturally force my body to push the baby out. The third and final push, the whole body came out and the bulging feeling is gone. (oh yea while I was still hoping it was a girl, the first thing that was flashed to me was his testis) There I was thanking God for the fast and relatively easy labor, the most importantly the baby was safe. The doctor asked me for the final push, which was not painful, to take the placenta out. The Man was asked to cut the cord, and finally, my baby boy was taken away from me, from a life hanging to mommy’s womb. My baby boy was free. And he was free safely.
While the Man snapped the baby’s picture away when the nurses cleaned him up and azan to his little crumpled ear, the doctor and my midwife was busy pushing lots of blood clots from my tummy. They squeezed my tummy hard, I could feel lumps of solid coming out. She finally stitched me and again, found out that the lumps keep coming out. Again they squeezed my tummy. When they took me down to my room, I found out that the lumps were still coming out heavily and again, the nurse squeezed and massaged my tummy downwards. At first I was like, sakit la you idiot, then I was like, get me my pain killer. Gulped down a big glass of Milo and then the two ponstan tablet. My ‘tumpah darah’ was not that bad, but told the Man, this is our final final. Period. Feverish body later that night. Compounded by the cold a/c, I had sleepless night.
The pead monitored the boy for three nights, since the Strep B virus might be giving him effect but it didn’t. Get him circumcised on Day 2. He started latching properly on Day 3. The Man was with me. The first night he was a hero, The second night he was whimpering and whinning in his sleep, the third night he went back home and finally I had a peaceful night. He came picking us up, got the bills and off to home!
The two kids back home were not allowed to the Hospital, so they were so happy seeing mom’s face. Azeuchry kept asking me about the new baby everytime I called home.
That was 25 days ago and mom finally regain the strength and faced the PC again. He was named on 14th Day. Adam Zulqarnain. The first man on earth and a leader’s name. the cord stump dropped at Day 17 and the ring over the little penis on Day 16. The Man bathed him and once he started working, I took over. It was awkward at first but I got the hang of it by Day 8 or 9 I think. Haha.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
day 21
weight now 60 kg.
Weight before labor 72kg
Lost 10kg during labor i think
Weight week 1 : 62 kg
Weight before labor 72kg
Lost 10kg during labor i think
Weight week 1 : 62 kg
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Day 12
day 12 and barulah boleh saya mengupdate blogku ini dengan news that baby adam zulkarnain is finally and safely delivered. Weight was 3.61 kg and i did it without epidural... Hahaha.. Alamak baby dah uk ak uk ak... Gotta go
Sunday, May 16, 2010
41-week
Went for my ob/gyn check up last Friday when I was 39-w-1-d. She said the baby's head is not yet enganged (into the birth canal i assume) therefore if mom can carry without much difficulty, she'll wait until 41-week.
Wow.. 41 weeks. that'll mean about 3 months away from work.
I never did this without the feeling of guilt and sin.
But i did this, anyway!
Yay!
Wow.. 41 weeks. that'll mean about 3 months away from work.
I never did this without the feeling of guilt and sin.
But i did this, anyway!
Yay!
Friday, May 07, 2010
Gratitude
I am also grateful for those who have prayed for me and those who have given me the kindest words, those who have not shut me down and let me cry over things, those who listen.
Those who understands.
Those who are true friends.
Thanks.
Those who understands.
Those who are true friends.
Thanks.
Responsibility
As a blogger, i have the responsibility to update the blog whenever a problem is solved, so that readers won't feel that this blog is all about negativity, problems and cursing.
So, here it is.
The recent test result came out negative. I am a negative strep B virus now! Alhamdullilah praise to Allah the healer and the kindest.
After two more weeks waiting, the ob/gyn today confirmed that IT's ALL GONE! HOwever, for precaution, she'll put me on antibiotic treatment during labor. From what I read, I am still a carrier, it's just that the virus is temporarily fought off.
We also saw Anna's paed (which might be Little Adam/Ali paed as well or not) and was told that the baby might or might not get it. The Man shook his head and said, it didn't mean anything! We asked (this is actually a conversation outside an elevator, not really a consultation session in his room) whether he might want to treat the baby on IV drip of antibiotic, he said with a look like mulling over on whether clueless or telling the parents the truth, maybe yes or maybe not, depending on how the baby responded after it is delivered.
So there are more than one school of thoughts on how the virus is affecting the baby during labor. I can read on and research more, few doctors we met, specialist or not gave different opinion. An ob/gyn at newzealand said if the virus is found in the urine traces, it means that the population is bigger rather than if it is found in a vaginal swab. Which makes sense.
Conclusively, there is no standard treatment since the effect of the virus to the newborn varies.
HOwever, if 30% of the death of the newborn due to lung disorder is caused by this virus (well, gotta think, which site i found said this huh?) shouldn't this virus appearance in the medical world be much more significant than this? People in UK is signing petition urging the hospital to start testing preggy moms on this Virus. My ob/gyn is saying its airborne and its becoming much common now.What caused it to resurfaced in a Mom's body? Low immunity ? Stress level ?
Is it the same case as the virus causing chicken pox that resurface as Herpes Zoster whenever one's immunity is low due to stress level?
So many questions unanswered. Macam x Files lah pulookk..
Whatever the treatment is for my newborn, i believe that it will be born safely. I'm praying for the best, 24 hours monitoring and we can go home. Amin.
So, here it is.
The recent test result came out negative. I am a negative strep B virus now! Alhamdullilah praise to Allah the healer and the kindest.
After two more weeks waiting, the ob/gyn today confirmed that IT's ALL GONE! HOwever, for precaution, she'll put me on antibiotic treatment during labor. From what I read, I am still a carrier, it's just that the virus is temporarily fought off.
We also saw Anna's paed (which might be Little Adam/Ali paed as well or not) and was told that the baby might or might not get it. The Man shook his head and said, it didn't mean anything! We asked (this is actually a conversation outside an elevator, not really a consultation session in his room) whether he might want to treat the baby on IV drip of antibiotic, he said with a look like mulling over on whether clueless or telling the parents the truth, maybe yes or maybe not, depending on how the baby responded after it is delivered.
So there are more than one school of thoughts on how the virus is affecting the baby during labor. I can read on and research more, few doctors we met, specialist or not gave different opinion. An ob/gyn at newzealand said if the virus is found in the urine traces, it means that the population is bigger rather than if it is found in a vaginal swab. Which makes sense.
Conclusively, there is no standard treatment since the effect of the virus to the newborn varies.
HOwever, if 30% of the death of the newborn due to lung disorder is caused by this virus (well, gotta think, which site i found said this huh?) shouldn't this virus appearance in the medical world be much more significant than this? People in UK is signing petition urging the hospital to start testing preggy moms on this Virus. My ob/gyn is saying its airborne and its becoming much common now.What caused it to resurfaced in a Mom's body? Low immunity ? Stress level ?
Is it the same case as the virus causing chicken pox that resurface as Herpes Zoster whenever one's immunity is low due to stress level?
So many questions unanswered. Macam x Files lah pulookk..
Whatever the treatment is for my newborn, i believe that it will be born safely. I'm praying for the best, 24 hours monitoring and we can go home. Amin.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Do'a Mommy
Mommy doa semua anak mommy sihat.
Yang telah tengok dunia
Atau pun yang akan lihat dunia.
Mommy doa mommy ada kekuatan untuk bimbing semua
Untuk sayang semua
Untuk selalu ada
Mommy doa mommy selalu diperingatkan
Bahawa anak anak mommy yang wajib didahulukan
sekiranya mommy alpa
Mommy doa anak anak mommy selalu ada masa
untuk selalu bersama sama
suka atau airmata
Jadi sekiranya katil king sized bed ini terlalu kecik
untuk kita semua berhimpit
satu hari kita akan tidur atas lantai!
Yang telah tengok dunia
Atau pun yang akan lihat dunia.
Mommy doa mommy ada kekuatan untuk bimbing semua
Untuk sayang semua
Untuk selalu ada
Mommy doa mommy selalu diperingatkan
Bahawa anak anak mommy yang wajib didahulukan
sekiranya mommy alpa
Mommy doa anak anak mommy selalu ada masa
untuk selalu bersama sama
suka atau airmata
Jadi sekiranya katil king sized bed ini terlalu kecik
untuk kita semua berhimpit
satu hari kita akan tidur atas lantai!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Jotting down here and there
Friday 23 Apr 2010
Yesterday, a phone call from my gynae's office totally drop a bomb on my whole sweet life.
Was it my stress level that cause me to be so immunely weak?
Why did i allow myself to be in the situation? Was I that irresponsible to my own unborn child?
I am on antibiotic treatment to kill the virus for 7 straight days.
Saturday 24 Apr 2010
Called a friend in GH and the response come blunt. C section might can avoid the virus from getting to the baby. I might opt for that. The treatment over GH of the Strep-B affected babies are five days on antibiotic treatment. I thought of the small little fingers curled in pain everytime the needles are poked into the tiny little body and broke down anc cried.
Then decided to do something else.
I spent yesterday focusing ‘out’, instead of ‘in’. Went to the florist just before my trip to the hospital and arranged for two nice flower bouquets for the birthday girls. Delivered on to Rohana secretly and met Edina for very late lunch after my hospital trip. Both girls were happy. I was happy making them happy. They texts of appreciation did made my day. I am done thinking of the IV needles. With all the drugs in the world, they will make him recovered and alive. God helps.
By night, I am done. Done crying. Done blaming. I recouped my strength and figured out that early labor and/or ruptured membrane and/or more stress is what i have to avoid now. Gone were the unfinished contract negotiations, rescheduling or worries about whether Q3 shipments are secured. My focus now is to get the unborn infant safely delivered. Which can’t happen now because ruptured membrane while the virus is still in my body is fatal to him.
Will talk to the bosses on Monday to take things slow. I also wrote down things that might have stressed me out, in a context of replying comments, but have not decided whether to send them out. Well, people can stress me out, but I am yet to decide whether I am to do the same. Remember that don’t do others what I don’t like them to do unto me. Who said that, anyway?
Monday 26 Apr 2010
Talked to both my boss and boss's boss about taking it easy at work. I want to take leave whenever I feel the body is not up to it. I gulped down and chewed my own words in from of them two. One looks like he wants to pass out, one looks convincingly confident that God will help.
Then texted the boss's boss's boss who was on leave and he replied that there is other thing other than work.
I cried.
Tuesday 27 Apr 2010
A few meetings got cancelled thus I spent the morning waking up late. Went for lunch meeting with the Lawyer and came back thinking of how can they get the negotiations done without my presence. Spent the whole afternoon tossing around that worry instead of sleeping. Agh.. I should have left it to the lawyers.
Worry, please go away.
Wednesday 28 April 2010
My 33rd birthday. And my third child’s fate is still unknown.. at least to me.
Spent the whole day negotiating contract with a supplier that I thought could be difficult. But he seemed to agree to our terms and conditions. I felt good eventhough the almost 5-hour meeting really drove me mad. Had a few contractions during the meeting. Baby please don’t come out so soon, at least until Mommy is well treated.
But it was my birthday and I deserve some treats, did I. Handsome husband ferried me to work, after shoving in a big bottle of perfume (notice: all parfums he gave always smell good) into my purse. He self deliver a bouquet of my favorite lilies to the office. He took me out for dinner, which he ate almost all the dinner since the baby is taking up all the space. He ended up with a great birthday card before we went to bed.
That was number one joy. Azeuchry also drew me a card and that is actually above the number one joy. He drew himself, Anna and the small baby he expected to love in a few days more to come. I shed tears looking at the small naked bald baby on the card.
Rohana came down early in the morning to give me books. Ida gave me a box of chocolate. A few others came to hug. We went out for breakfast. Sai delivered me a cheese cake, which is really a surprise!
It was a fruitful day, tiring but a contented one. By the time we walked out from the diner, the Man is practically dragging my feet to the car.
The moon was a beautiful one, anyway.
Thursday 29 April 2010 – the final day
Figured out that the meeting yesterday really took up my energy and decided to wake up late. Sent Azeuchry to school and continued napping until at least 10:30! Went to a meeting with customer and then spent the whole afternoon sitting down with team strategizing Q3. I let them take the lead and made decision. The boss’s boss came over to explain the job rotations on the team. I decided that this is the team that is the best to do the work. Threw them a KFC bucket for dinner before sorting out all the outstanding task. They stayed back until 10:00 and helped me carried two laptops, one flower bouquet, two kerepek packages and two books with sex as the title (haha) to my car.
Friday 30 April 2010
I know I needed good night sleep but that is what missing in my life for now. At least I am comforted to know that is not the worry that keep me awake, but rather then 7 or more kilos of weight on my tummy.
Went for my hospital trip again. The Man had his regional meeting so I went alone. Did the fetal heart rate and within 30 mins, there were two contractions. His heart rate is fine. Dozed off during the fetal heart rate test.
I was then stripped down waist and below for about 20 mins waiting for my gynae who had to run for a case. Tried to doze of but anticipation and the hard bed killed me. Saw the testis.
Talked further to my gynae on the strep B virus. Thought Azeuchry got one when his lung was infected the moment he was born but she said that was in 2004 when they have not had the procedure of Strep B test on the moms before delivery. Said that the virus is air borne (puzzled, why none of the website mentioned this) and because my immunity was low, I got them FOC! She said that it is becoming very common now.
I asked how many patients were completely treated before the labor and she said only three were not. I rather not ask what happen to those babies. She said not to worry that we still have time to get it treated. I asked whether C Section can prevent the virus from getting to the baby, she said yes it would but wait until I am cleared. (The website mentioned otherwise)
By the end of the meeting I went out abruptly without saying thanks, holding up my tears and rushed up to the restroom.
Waited for The Man who took me out for an Italian quick lunch. Drove back home alone.
Put the kids to sleep and Azeuchry was so thrilled when the baby moved and the big brother could feel the little one kicked his palm upwards! I told story about a big brother who had restless night spending time with a small little brother and a toddler sister, but still the big responsible brother played with them both fairly and put them to bed and did his homework after that.
Realized that if God wants to take any of my kids, He can just take them anytime, any how. Little Ali (my choice) or Little Adam (Azeuchry’s and his dad’s choice) is the most responsive one in mom’s tummy. If he is to go, I am grateful enough that God has given me those 9 months carrying him in mine, and two full months of kicking and twirling and responding to the brother’s lullaby and mom’s loud radio in the morning!
Decided to get all the accessories for the breast pump to prepare for Little Ali/Adam . He will be born and he will love both my boobs and how wonderful the milk taste.
The clock has passed 12:00. Happy Birthday darling Anna, mommy’s little princess.
I love you three.
Yesterday, a phone call from my gynae's office totally drop a bomb on my whole sweet life.
Was it my stress level that cause me to be so immunely weak?
Why did i allow myself to be in the situation? Was I that irresponsible to my own unborn child?
I am on antibiotic treatment to kill the virus for 7 straight days.
Saturday 24 Apr 2010
Called a friend in GH and the response come blunt. C section might can avoid the virus from getting to the baby. I might opt for that. The treatment over GH of the Strep-B affected babies are five days on antibiotic treatment. I thought of the small little fingers curled in pain everytime the needles are poked into the tiny little body and broke down anc cried.
Then decided to do something else.
I spent yesterday focusing ‘out’, instead of ‘in’. Went to the florist just before my trip to the hospital and arranged for two nice flower bouquets for the birthday girls. Delivered on to Rohana secretly and met Edina for very late lunch after my hospital trip. Both girls were happy. I was happy making them happy. They texts of appreciation did made my day. I am done thinking of the IV needles. With all the drugs in the world, they will make him recovered and alive. God helps.
By night, I am done. Done crying. Done blaming. I recouped my strength and figured out that early labor and/or ruptured membrane and/or more stress is what i have to avoid now. Gone were the unfinished contract negotiations, rescheduling or worries about whether Q3 shipments are secured. My focus now is to get the unborn infant safely delivered. Which can’t happen now because ruptured membrane while the virus is still in my body is fatal to him.
Will talk to the bosses on Monday to take things slow. I also wrote down things that might have stressed me out, in a context of replying comments, but have not decided whether to send them out. Well, people can stress me out, but I am yet to decide whether I am to do the same. Remember that don’t do others what I don’t like them to do unto me. Who said that, anyway?
Monday 26 Apr 2010
Talked to both my boss and boss's boss about taking it easy at work. I want to take leave whenever I feel the body is not up to it. I gulped down and chewed my own words in from of them two. One looks like he wants to pass out, one looks convincingly confident that God will help.
Then texted the boss's boss's boss who was on leave and he replied that there is other thing other than work.
I cried.
Tuesday 27 Apr 2010
A few meetings got cancelled thus I spent the morning waking up late. Went for lunch meeting with the Lawyer and came back thinking of how can they get the negotiations done without my presence. Spent the whole afternoon tossing around that worry instead of sleeping. Agh.. I should have left it to the lawyers.
Worry, please go away.
Wednesday 28 April 2010
My 33rd birthday. And my third child’s fate is still unknown.. at least to me.
Spent the whole day negotiating contract with a supplier that I thought could be difficult. But he seemed to agree to our terms and conditions. I felt good eventhough the almost 5-hour meeting really drove me mad. Had a few contractions during the meeting. Baby please don’t come out so soon, at least until Mommy is well treated.
But it was my birthday and I deserve some treats, did I. Handsome husband ferried me to work, after shoving in a big bottle of perfume (notice: all parfums he gave always smell good) into my purse. He self deliver a bouquet of my favorite lilies to the office. He took me out for dinner, which he ate almost all the dinner since the baby is taking up all the space. He ended up with a great birthday card before we went to bed.
That was number one joy. Azeuchry also drew me a card and that is actually above the number one joy. He drew himself, Anna and the small baby he expected to love in a few days more to come. I shed tears looking at the small naked bald baby on the card.
Rohana came down early in the morning to give me books. Ida gave me a box of chocolate. A few others came to hug. We went out for breakfast. Sai delivered me a cheese cake, which is really a surprise!
It was a fruitful day, tiring but a contented one. By the time we walked out from the diner, the Man is practically dragging my feet to the car.
The moon was a beautiful one, anyway.
Thursday 29 April 2010 – the final day
Figured out that the meeting yesterday really took up my energy and decided to wake up late. Sent Azeuchry to school and continued napping until at least 10:30! Went to a meeting with customer and then spent the whole afternoon sitting down with team strategizing Q3. I let them take the lead and made decision. The boss’s boss came over to explain the job rotations on the team. I decided that this is the team that is the best to do the work. Threw them a KFC bucket for dinner before sorting out all the outstanding task. They stayed back until 10:00 and helped me carried two laptops, one flower bouquet, two kerepek packages and two books with sex as the title (haha) to my car.
Friday 30 April 2010
I know I needed good night sleep but that is what missing in my life for now. At least I am comforted to know that is not the worry that keep me awake, but rather then 7 or more kilos of weight on my tummy.
Went for my hospital trip again. The Man had his regional meeting so I went alone. Did the fetal heart rate and within 30 mins, there were two contractions. His heart rate is fine. Dozed off during the fetal heart rate test.
I was then stripped down waist and below for about 20 mins waiting for my gynae who had to run for a case. Tried to doze of but anticipation and the hard bed killed me. Saw the testis.
Talked further to my gynae on the strep B virus. Thought Azeuchry got one when his lung was infected the moment he was born but she said that was in 2004 when they have not had the procedure of Strep B test on the moms before delivery. Said that the virus is air borne (puzzled, why none of the website mentioned this) and because my immunity was low, I got them FOC! She said that it is becoming very common now.
I asked how many patients were completely treated before the labor and she said only three were not. I rather not ask what happen to those babies. She said not to worry that we still have time to get it treated. I asked whether C Section can prevent the virus from getting to the baby, she said yes it would but wait until I am cleared. (The website mentioned otherwise)
By the end of the meeting I went out abruptly without saying thanks, holding up my tears and rushed up to the restroom.
Waited for The Man who took me out for an Italian quick lunch. Drove back home alone.
Put the kids to sleep and Azeuchry was so thrilled when the baby moved and the big brother could feel the little one kicked his palm upwards! I told story about a big brother who had restless night spending time with a small little brother and a toddler sister, but still the big responsible brother played with them both fairly and put them to bed and did his homework after that.
Realized that if God wants to take any of my kids, He can just take them anytime, any how. Little Ali (my choice) or Little Adam (Azeuchry’s and his dad’s choice) is the most responsive one in mom’s tummy. If he is to go, I am grateful enough that God has given me those 9 months carrying him in mine, and two full months of kicking and twirling and responding to the brother’s lullaby and mom’s loud radio in the morning!
Decided to get all the accessories for the breast pump to prepare for Little Ali/Adam . He will be born and he will love both my boobs and how wonderful the milk taste.
The clock has passed 12:00. Happy Birthday darling Anna, mommy’s little princess.
I love you three.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Strep B
Group B Streptococcus
* Group B streptococcus, or group B strep, is a bacterium that causes life- threatening infections in newborns. Group B strep can also cause disease in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses.
* Many people carry group B strep bacteria in their bodies without developing infection or illness. However, the bacteria can become deadly to people with weakened immune systems.
* Pregnant women can transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Group B strep is the most common cause of blood infections and meningitis in newborns.
* Most cases of group B strep disease in newborns can be prevented by giving certain pregnant women antibiotics during labor.
What is group B streptococcus (group B strep)?
Group B streptococcus (group B strep) is a bacterium that causes life-threatening infections in newborn infants. Group B strep can also cause serious diseases in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses. The letter "B" refers to a classification of bacteria in the genus Streptococcus according to the makeup of the organism's cell wall.
What kinds of illnesses does group B strep cause?
In newborns, group B strep is the most common cause of sepsis (infection of the bloodstream) and meningitis (infection of the lining and fluid surrounding the brain) and a common cause of pneumonia. Group B strep disease in newborns usually occurs in the first week of life ("early- onset"). Babies can also get a slightly less serious "late-onset" form of group B strep disease that develops a week to a few months after birth.
In adults, group B strep usually causes no symptoms. However, in rare cases, it can lead to serious bloodstream infections, urinary tract infections, skin infections, and pneumonia, especially in people with weakened immune systems and other health problems, such as diabetes.
How do people get infected with group B strep?
Group B strep bacteria are different from many other types of bacteria that can cause disease. People can be "colonized" with group B strep. This means that they carry the bacteria in their bodies but are not infected and do not become sick. Adults can carry the bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract, genital tract, or urinary tract. About 10% to 30% of pregnant women are colonized with group B strep in the genital tract.
Colonization with group B strep is usually harmless. The bacteria can become deadly, though, if something happens that allows them to invade the bloodstream. In adults, weakened immunity resulting from cancer treatment or a chronic illness can prompt an infection. More often, pregnant women who carry the bacteria can unknowingly transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Newborns can acquire early-onset group B strep disease either before or during delivery. The cause of late-onset disease in babies is not well understood.
How is group B strep infection diagnosed?
Group B strep infection is diagnosed by a laboratory test of blood or spinal fluid.
Who is at risk for group B strep infection?
Adults with illnesses that weaken the immune system, such as diabetes or cancer, are at risk of infection with group B strep.
An infant born to a woman who is carrying the bacteria can also be at risk. Some pregnant women are at more risk than others of having a baby who develops group B strep disease. A pregnant woman is at high risk if she:
* Has already had a baby with group B strep infection
* Has a urinary tract infection caused by group B strep
* Becomes colonized with group B strep late in pregnancy
* Develops a fever during labor
* Has rupture of membranes 18 hours or more before delivery
* Begins labor or has rupture of membranes before 37 weeks ("preterm")
What complications can result from group B strep infection?
Group B strep infection is fatal in about 20% of infected men and non-pregnant women and about 5% to 15% of infected newborns. Babies who survive can be left with speech, hearing, and vision problems as well as mental retardation.
What is the treatment for group B strep infection?
Group B strep infections in both newborns and adults are usually treated with antibiotics given intravenously (through a vein).
How common is group B strep infection?
Group B strep causes disease in about 18,000 people in the United States each year. Of these, about 8,000 are newborns. Group B strep is the most common cause of blood infections and meningitis in newborns and is a frequent cause of newborn pneumonia.
Is group B strep infection an emerging infectious disease?
Yes. Since 1970, group B strep infection has become the leading bacterial infection causing illness and death in newborns in the United States. Cases in adults are also on the rise. The number of adult infections nearly doubled during the 1980s and continues to increase.
How can group B strep infection be prevented?
Most cases of group B strep infection in newborns can be prevented by giving certain pregnant women antibiotics during labor. Antibiotic treatment before labor does not prevent group B strep infection in newborns.
Any pregnant woman who has already had a baby with group B strep infection or who has a urinary tract infection caused by group B strep should be given antibiotics during labor. Pregnant women who are colonized with group B strep should be offered antibiotics at the time of labor or rupture of the membranes. Colonization with group B strep can be detected late in pregnancy (35-37 weeks' gestation) by a special test of secretions from the vagina and rectum.
Unfortunately, some babies still get group B strep infection despite testing and antibiotic treatment. Vaccines to prevent group B strep infection are being developed.
This fact sheet is for information only and is not meant to be used for self-diagnosis or as a substitute for consultation with a health-care provider. If you have any questions about the disease described above or think that you might have a bacterial infection, consult a health-care provider.
* Group B streptococcus, or group B strep, is a bacterium that causes life- threatening infections in newborns. Group B strep can also cause disease in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses.
* Many people carry group B strep bacteria in their bodies without developing infection or illness. However, the bacteria can become deadly to people with weakened immune systems.
* Pregnant women can transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Group B strep is the most common cause of blood infections and meningitis in newborns.
* Most cases of group B strep disease in newborns can be prevented by giving certain pregnant women antibiotics during labor.
What is group B streptococcus (group B strep)?
Group B streptococcus (group B strep) is a bacterium that causes life-threatening infections in newborn infants. Group B strep can also cause serious diseases in pregnant women, the elderly, and adults with other illnesses. The letter "B" refers to a classification of bacteria in the genus Streptococcus according to the makeup of the organism's cell wall.
What kinds of illnesses does group B strep cause?
In newborns, group B strep is the most common cause of sepsis (infection of the bloodstream) and meningitis (infection of the lining and fluid surrounding the brain) and a common cause of pneumonia. Group B strep disease in newborns usually occurs in the first week of life ("early- onset"). Babies can also get a slightly less serious "late-onset" form of group B strep disease that develops a week to a few months after birth.
In adults, group B strep usually causes no symptoms. However, in rare cases, it can lead to serious bloodstream infections, urinary tract infections, skin infections, and pneumonia, especially in people with weakened immune systems and other health problems, such as diabetes.
How do people get infected with group B strep?
Group B strep bacteria are different from many other types of bacteria that can cause disease. People can be "colonized" with group B strep. This means that they carry the bacteria in their bodies but are not infected and do not become sick. Adults can carry the bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract, genital tract, or urinary tract. About 10% to 30% of pregnant women are colonized with group B strep in the genital tract.
Colonization with group B strep is usually harmless. The bacteria can become deadly, though, if something happens that allows them to invade the bloodstream. In adults, weakened immunity resulting from cancer treatment or a chronic illness can prompt an infection. More often, pregnant women who carry the bacteria can unknowingly transmit group B strep to their newborns at birth. Newborns can acquire early-onset group B strep disease either before or during delivery. The cause of late-onset disease in babies is not well understood.
How is group B strep infection diagnosed?
Group B strep infection is diagnosed by a laboratory test of blood or spinal fluid.
Who is at risk for group B strep infection?
Adults with illnesses that weaken the immune system, such as diabetes or cancer, are at risk of infection with group B strep.
An infant born to a woman who is carrying the bacteria can also be at risk. Some pregnant women are at more risk than others of having a baby who develops group B strep disease. A pregnant woman is at high risk if she:
* Has already had a baby with group B strep infection
* Has a urinary tract infection caused by group B strep
* Becomes colonized with group B strep late in pregnancy
* Develops a fever during labor
* Has rupture of membranes 18 hours or more before delivery
* Begins labor or has rupture of membranes before 37 weeks ("preterm")
What complications can result from group B strep infection?
Group B strep infection is fatal in about 20% of infected men and non-pregnant women and about 5% to 15% of infected newborns. Babies who survive can be left with speech, hearing, and vision problems as well as mental retardation.
What is the treatment for group B strep infection?
Group B strep infections in both newborns and adults are usually treated with antibiotics given intravenously (through a vein).
How common is group B strep infection?
Group B strep causes disease in about 18,000 people in the United States each year. Of these, about 8,000 are newborns. Group B strep is the most common cause of blood infections and meningitis in newborns and is a frequent cause of newborn pneumonia.
Is group B strep infection an emerging infectious disease?
Yes. Since 1970, group B strep infection has become the leading bacterial infection causing illness and death in newborns in the United States. Cases in adults are also on the rise. The number of adult infections nearly doubled during the 1980s and continues to increase.
How can group B strep infection be prevented?
Most cases of group B strep infection in newborns can be prevented by giving certain pregnant women antibiotics during labor. Antibiotic treatment before labor does not prevent group B strep infection in newborns.
Any pregnant woman who has already had a baby with group B strep infection or who has a urinary tract infection caused by group B strep should be given antibiotics during labor. Pregnant women who are colonized with group B strep should be offered antibiotics at the time of labor or rupture of the membranes. Colonization with group B strep can be detected late in pregnancy (35-37 weeks' gestation) by a special test of secretions from the vagina and rectum.
Unfortunately, some babies still get group B strep infection despite testing and antibiotic treatment. Vaccines to prevent group B strep infection are being developed.
This fact sheet is for information only and is not meant to be used for self-diagnosis or as a substitute for consultation with a health-care provider. If you have any questions about the disease described above or think that you might have a bacterial infection, consult a health-care provider.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Update
1. I am on my 35th week? (Or so)
2. My maid is requesting for one month leave when I am on my 38th week. Great.
3. I finally get to watch Lipstick Jungle on Star World.
4. The Man has not finalized whether it is Adam or Ali or something else.
5. Blogging has hurt a few. I am lying low for a moment.
6. Some relationship is really a one-sided one. Sometimes it crosses over. At this hormone level, I can't afford another sleepless night. I left some messages unread. I need to survive in denial.
7. Tax is done. Great, hubby. I wonder where all my monies go. Highway? LRT?
2. My maid is requesting for one month leave when I am on my 38th week. Great.
3. I finally get to watch Lipstick Jungle on Star World.
4. The Man has not finalized whether it is Adam or Ali or something else.
5. Blogging has hurt a few. I am lying low for a moment.
6. Some relationship is really a one-sided one. Sometimes it crosses over. At this hormone level, I can't afford another sleepless night. I left some messages unread. I need to survive in denial.
7. Tax is done. Great, hubby. I wonder where all my monies go. Highway? LRT?
Monday, April 05, 2010
Last Published Entry
Was on 18 Feb.
Almost two moons.
What's happening?
Work has taken over my days.
4kg weight on the tummy has taken over my nights.
Grumpy boss has taken over the glory morning.
I should..
shop more and spend more monies (i have excess every month! can you believe it?)
put on more color on my face
Gosh i can't wait to get out
Almost two moons.
What's happening?
Work has taken over my days.
4kg weight on the tummy has taken over my nights.
Grumpy boss has taken over the glory morning.
I should..
shop more and spend more monies (i have excess every month! can you believe it?)
put on more color on my face
Gosh i can't wait to get out
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