Fever Fever!

Am now at In Law's house. Yesterday's fever was so bad. I was practically dragging my feet to Menara Telekom to complete the ERMS conversion and October plus September postings. Much coordination were needed since all the jobs need different password. However, how lucky Ida and I were, both the managers given us their password and we happily tested the system using theirs.

Back to my fever, coming back from Menara Telekom, Azmady and I went to the Tailor to pick up our oh-so-red Baju Raya! Azam Zikry's was a bit big, so we got her redid his pants. While waiting the adjustment, I laid down on her clean carpet, took some pillows and tried to catch some sleep. Body was feeling a mixture of cold and warm, bones feel like exploding and eyes were so watery.

Azmady then drove straight to the Doctor's at SS17 and we waited for about 1/2 hour for our turn. Then we drove home and he practically pengsan already in bed. I munched some chocolate biscotti and swallowed a big gulp of pills before putting on sweater and jumped in the bed, covering myself with the comforter (at 3:00 noon, bear you!). An hour and half or so later, I woke up sweating, feeling a lot fine. He picked up the angel from the baby sittet's, then drove straight to Bangi. I caught an early night sleep with Azmady being so much of a darling, put Azam Zikry to bed hours later.

Woke up around 3 a.m. and stared at Azam Zikry sweet face, tidur terkangkang, in between us. Felt like kissing him but the thought of the bacteria in my nose being transferred back to him prevented. Stroked his little hairs instead. When I got up to go to the bathroom, he suddenly woke up and cried, practically crawling looking for me. Poor dreamy Daddy gotta calm him down before Mommy finished off changing in the bathroom. Azam Zikry then opted to sleep on Mommy's tummy until this morning.

Hey that KWSP money is in! Surprisingly fast! We did less than two weeks. Alhamdullilah, now can get the money transferred into ASB, collecting some dividends before the new house is ready and we can splurged on furnishing!

Pak Lah's story has been three days in a row making front page. Poor old man, nak pergi baca tahlil at Wife's grave pun jadi headline. Apa nak buat, he and the whole family had opted to become part of the public.

Okay gotta go!

The Day The First Lady Passed Away

The Day The First Lady Passed Away

 

It was still a raining and cold day. (which for me a sneezy and itchy nose day, too). Somebody from work heard from the radio that she passed away after the long battle with cancer. At night, we watched the rerun of the funeral, how Pak Lah and the kids look so calm. I didn’t expect them to cry unnecessarily at the funeral, not because they are public figures and they have to put up good faces in front of the live camera, but because I know, they have expected her to go. I’m not surprised they don’t look so terribly sad. But I know, they will be, coming Hari Raya two weeks later.

 

There was a sharp pain my tummy when I saw the funeral on tv. It reminds me the cancer battle that late Along faced. While she fought her own battle, we, the people around her, fought our own, of knowing that it is a battle one can hardly survive.

 

Cancer has always been instrumental to me. When a good of girlfriend of mine knew her brother had one, I cried to sleep. I know her and the whole family will be going through the same thing mine had. How terrified we were at the moment we discovered. Then we wondered whether it was Stage 2 or 4. We remember the feeling of uncomfortable and impatience we are outside the operating theatre for the surgical to remove the whole lump, how they fasted 24 hours before the surgery.  How weak they are after going on chemotherapy. (Oh I never forget how much do I hate the chemo word!) How we cried silently whenever we tried to feed them after the chemo and they threw up. The enormous numbers of pills doctor tried to shove into their dry mouth.  We remember trying to be strong when they asked for water to wuduk and how difficult they were trying to perform solah while lying on the hospital bed.

 

We went through the days making their bed and found the strings of hair, falling from their head, on the pillow. We cried, quickly wiping our tears off whenever someone else walked into the room.

 

Then they got better. They always got better. Still the pills are like the pebbles at the shore. We went thru the days convincing ourselves that we are not losing them, that they could see we graduating, getting married, that they could see our babies being born and learn to walk. We prayed to The Almighty One that He will spare their lives until we had proved we had done enough for them and shown them how much they meant to us.

 

The day will then come, when their cells lose their own battle to the cancer. It’ll start with the normal fever, untreated coughs, then by the time you know it, they have trouble walking. We know the day had came, we just don’t know how long more they will endure their pain. Then we had our own time, praying to The Almighty One on taking their lives as fast as He could, since we can no longer bear seeing them in bed. We cried listening to ourselves talking that out loud.

 

For my Along during her second wave, was told that she might be diabetic. She came home from the clinic, announcing that she will no longer take rice, sweet foods. We smiled, knowing that it’s not diabetes, it’s just the cells now taking charge of her kidney. Then it came worse, so quick, then the next doctor meeting, he silently told us to feed her anything that she likes. I remember we made a very sweet agar-agar but soft and fed into her mouth. She was surprised, we know, that we fed her something that she vowed not to eat, but she shoved the agar-agar down her throat anyway, putting up a fake smile. The second wave was actually much much worse than the chemo, because we know it is the time. Still we tried to find cure to this Mr Cancer. We thought the traditional way might work, we prayed so hard at nights, we tried alternative healing but at the end, we just couldn’t bear putting them on the false hopes anymore.

 

We read Quran when they went to sleep, checking them every now and then between the pages. People then start to come to see her, thinking that they might want to see her for the last time. We just hate those who come and sit by her bed, trying to make she talk. We just prayed those would leave for she needed the rest. We remember walking into their room at nights, checking up whether the chests are still moving up and down, showing life signs, every two hours. We just clutched our own hands when we see how they are cleaned up, for they can no longer go to the loo. We read papers to them, telling them the daily happenings of the country, for they can no longer focus on the small printings of the dailies. We massaged their back softly when they softly cried of the back pain (of lying down so much). It hurt to know that they are in pain, but they just couldn’t locate exactly where the pain are, and we feel so terribly HELPLESS.

 

When they go, they always go peacefully. People said that the sins are washed away by the long pain they have endured. We calmed ourselves, saying that it is the best, they can no longer endure any more pain. We thanked those who came to the funeral, eventhough we can hardly match the names with the faces.

 

But coming home, we broke into tears seeing the empty room, the place where we sit to read them papers. The pills bottles, half are empty. We can still smell them as we stiffed thru the blanket and the pillows. And we just don’t want to get the room cleaned up and re-organized, for we thought we are still waiting them to come home from their regular check up at the doctor’s.

 

They fought their own battle, and we always had our own. I would say they won their battle, went peacefully, to their Creator. We? We thought we are cool, until another person we know goes. And our own battle story flashed into our grieving mind.

 

Al Fatihah to Along, to Mohd Ali Ikram* and to Datin Seri Endon. These are the real heroes, my real heroes.

 

*This is not the actual name of his. It’s just the way he liked to write during his childhood.

A Different Kinda Cold

It's been quite cold lately. My a/c was 24C but still I woke up
sneezing. Azam Zikry's ears felt cold in the middle of the night. Feet
and body, I can cover but his ears? Would look weird if my son went to
bed with that big ears cover eh....

Azmady has been doing all the housechores for two nights in the rows.
Thank you, darling. The plumber came last week to fix the piping which
has leaked that caused our water bill RM360 last month compared to the
normal RM5, RM7 or at most, RM10. When the plumber is gone, the water
supply to our area was cut somehow (due to some water work) then we
couldn't test whether the piping was okay. Night after then only we
realize that the main tank lever was having problem adjusting itself.
Water poured down to the main bathroom and we gotta shut the main valve
off (which affects the kitchen sink and we are forced to leave all the
dishes unwashed!) Now we gotta wait for the nominated plumber to come
back again this week. And the ever so co-operative landlord doesn't want
any other but his nominated plumber. Can imagine how messy my kitchen is?!

On top of that, Azmady got one parking ticket. Gotta spend some time
looking for Postal Order to pay the ticket.

And oh ya.. that microwave of mine chooses no other time but now to
refuse servicing us. Then the rice is cooked stove top, which kerak
gotta be washed thoroughly at the kitchen sink, which water supply gotta
be turn on at the main valve outside the house, which rain will happily
get yourself a shower if you go out!

Aggh! I just feel like refusing to breath for a few days until all the
problems are solved. Until Azam Zikry's temperature rising few nights in
a row. Poor baby! With the buka puasa invitation almost every other day,
I juggle between choosing which supplier to go to and getting Azam Zikry
to bed early. He now sleep with head on my left arm, twitching everytime
I tried to move. The twitching then will be shortly replaced by long sob
and I technically have to wake him up, telling him that I was there all
night long with him. Mommy then gotta doze off hugging him, occasionally
trying to hide Mommy's face between the pillow whenever Mommy wanna sneeze.

Thank God the goody goody husband was there to clean up the kitchen and
putting the clothes into the washing machine.

On a happy note, weight now is 55kg! It means BIG improvement for a five
weeks puasa in a row (remember that I started fasting before 1st Ramadan
to make up the last year's confinement).

At least there's something to be happy with.

(Felt like it is the hormone talking! Due for the time of the month
anytime soon)

NOTIFICATION

Five days had been without blogging.

Puasa, alhamdullillah, went well. Weight, however, refused to go down further from the 57kg. I had achieved 3kgs before , as the result of two weeks puasa (without sahur). Could it be the sahur that prevented the scale from moving further down?

Have poured my energy on presenting the basket price for the other department to view. Getting tired of being questioned on transparencies. When people move forward with their own perception (and what they want to hear), I can't do much of explaining. Tired, of being questioned on how do I get certain stuffs written on my spreadsheet. You had doubts in my calculation, you questioned the accuracy of my figures, you demand the calculations to be copied to your thumb drive! You might as well do the job, wahai audience yang bijaksana. And this audience (except for one or two whose work I really really appreciate) never really wanna try reading the contracts and understanding the business. Some (most) of them can't even see the connection between energy, weight and $$$. My head could almost blow up!

Above all, what pissed me off is my own boss questioning the accuracy of my formula in front of these so clever people! The old brain seems to forgetting the session where we presented to him before we present to these people. The old brain with the old body had also chosen to come to the meeting with such emotion in his soul.

Whatever!

Yesterday e-conversation-of-the-day.

Her: I was the one who put the service up to your area.

Other Her: Hey gheeezzzzz, thanks a lot!

Her: Yes, it was a tough work (the vendors are not cooperating, sun won't shine, wires were cluttered, snow came down in Florida, the whole China were in black out, Rafidah cried for the seventh time, bla bla bla) and I did it anyway.

Me: Hey her, you seemed so proud of your work. I'm very honored to have a friend like you (who has the sense of pride of what she's doing). Being proud of your work make you getting up from bed with high enthusiasm and good spirit, be ready to go thru the jam to work and contribute to community!

Her: Of course I'm proud.

Me: (hey ask about my work! ask about my work! I got something to be proud of too!)

Her: It's my work and I did it.

Me: (ask me! ask me!)

Her: I'm very proud of myself.

Me: (gave up telling the so-called-best-of-friends the sense of pride over work which I sometimes find crappy) Anyeone else who has the same kinda sense of pride? (at least I ask the others!)

Other Her2: Yes, I did.

Other Her3: Not really, being unappreciated sucks.

Her: (quiet)

All: (quiet, matter is closed)

Me: (quiet too, my work is too big to be announced over the net for these so-called best-friends, consoling myself)

Her: (probably, my work is the biggest of you all)

Me: (quiet, feeling that she must be feeling that the other's jobs are too little to ask for, ye lah, siapalah kitorang ni, tak de le sebesar engkau sangat contribution to the community, to the nation, to the world)

Me: (that's it, out of my chest! lega)

Me: (teruk ke aku kutuk kawan sendiri?)

Wow! That Kacip Fatimah coffee really does work! I 've been up since 4:30, took the cuppa around 5:00 and can't sleep until 6:30. Great thing though, been missing Solat Subuh on time since Ramadan started.

Yes, the Ramadan is here! Azmady and I talked about how we forget the feelings of buka puasa and sahur together since it has been two years we didn't do that together,alone, just two of us, in our own house, with our own cooking and drinks. Last year, he spent Ramadan alone over mama's place while I was at my mak's, confining myself to the newborn Azam Zikry.

Talking about the little cookie monster, he is already one!! My god, how time flies. His birthday makan-makan was a success (was about to type GREAT success, but throw the word away remembering the little fight almost happened between me and dear hubby just before the little party). Kak Endon and family were there, Kamarul dropped by with Ida, Mama and Papa came with roti jala and chicken curry (which turned out to be the main dish for the night, thanks Ma!), Charlie drove all the way from work thru the Federal Highway Ever-Well-Known Jam and went and bought some additional mee goreng, Rohana and John were there too. I felt so proud with Azam Zikry when he pointed at RJ whenever we asked, "Where's RJ?" infront of Rohana and John. (RJ is that big bear Rohana and John gave during his zeroth birthday. One his first birthday, they gave him a 'cat from the bag with very big eyes'. Hmm Rohana, time to start thinking that AZ is really a boy and stop giving him girls' stuffs! hahaha)

Azam Zikry, however, despite the four days of birthday song training, was not smiling nor clipping nor the eyes were sparkling when the real song was sung on the real blow-the-candle moment. (He however, splashed the cake with his little palm, like what I wrote, silly mommy for sourcing) His face was sour almost all the time, with very little dancing (or shall I say butt moving) with PlayHouseDisneyChannel(PHDC) being played. Could be that he was mad at me for not turning up at 6:30 as usual to pick him up? (He instead came home together with Kak Endon at 7:45). When everybody has gone back, and then only he started grinning and clapping. Hmmm....

Ten minutes to 7 and I better wake the husband up!

Points to ponder.

Have you ever had this so much respect and admiration on somebody who could be so efficient and/or so smart and/or passionate about his/her work that you are overwhelmed of that much respect and admire until you don't know what you are truly feeling for him/her? You can't define what you're feeling but you find yourself constantly thinking of that somebody, whether you have seen him/her today or what that somebody will do if he/she is in your shoes? You start feeling kinda a weird thing going in your system and you still find the way the define the damn feeling. Is it respect? Is it GREAT admiration? Is it a crush or is it love?? (Yes, darlings, the big L)

When your mind has crossed the thought of that big L thing, then you start feeling guilty for she/he is already married with two kids, and you are dating the greatest woman/man on earth and she/he could be your boss/co-worker whom trust you so much/subordinates or WORSE she/he could be dating one of your greatest and closest bestfriend. Then you started having him/her as the main character in your dreams that left you feeling guilty everytime you woke up. After that, you started thinking on what IF you and her/him met earlier before you guys are involved in anybody else. Then, for the whole night, you kept staring at your partner's sweet soft face in bed, feeling guilty of what you are feeling towards that somebody else. You shook your head (hard) and tried to pull yourself together.

Then you start to ponder, whether you are gay to be feeling that kind of thing towards the same gender? (laughing hysterically!)

Still you peep thru your window to see whethe she/he is in the office today!

happy birthday to me

My name is Azam Zikry. Yes I know how handsome my name sound like, wait
until you see my face!

Mommy said that I'll turn one tomorrow. I don't know what does that
mean, guess it means one more tooth is coming out. Or could it mean that
I have more things to eat other than carrot + chicken porridge!

Mommy said turning one is such a big event. I can eat fish by the time
I'm one. The ever handsome Dr. Shanjay has been telling mommy to hold on
feeding me fish until I turn one or else my eczema will be worse. I
don't what's that too, but I guess it got something to do with the itchy
spots I have underneath my chin, my knee and my ankle if mommy stop
applying that sticky Eucerin! Mommy please don't forget to apply that
Eucerin, I know I look uneasy everytime you apply that on me but I am
MUCH MORE uneasy when the itchiness start kicking in!

However, mommy has been cuckoo these days. She has been singing "Happy
Birthday To You" for the last four days! She made daddy sang that too. I
don't know what that means either but the song did made me happy. It
feels so personal compared to the Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star, Old
MacDonald's or Rock-a-Bye Baby. Mommy said my eyes sparkle everytime I
heard the song sung. I clapped at the end of the song (each time she
sang to me) and grin so wide that my lips can be extended up to my ears.
Now she asked me to practice blowing candle at the end of the song. It
goes like this, make an O out of your lips, take deep breath and let the
air out heavily!! I don't know how to do that but I guess it will make
the small fire at the tip of the candle go away. Then I'll just use my
hand tomorrow to shoosh the fire away. Just kiddin! (or else I'd love to
see them scrreaaam when I do that! then I can easily put up my crying
act tomorrow to get that big hugs and kisses)

Daddy just weigh me yesterday and he said that I still weigh the same
8.5 kg. Daddy looked worried, turning one and still weigh the same for
the past two months might not look good for him. But hey daddy, I've
used all the calories to walk like a robot and crawl like spider when
mommy wanna tickle me! Later, I'll use more calories to run up and down
the staircase. Don't you worry, Daddy, I'll be just fine. You should be
worrying since you have put up some more kgs at a much faster rate these
few weeks!

Lemme tell me about the staircase over my house. It is made of wood, it
made sound everytime I patted my little palms (they are not so little
anymore, excuse me). I love the sound so much and I enjoy making them
even more. Sometimes the staircase is there, sometimes it's not, I don't
know how it happened, it just didn't appear to be there. Weird, isn't
it? The other day I heard mommy asked daddy to remove the chairs
blocking the staircase so that he can move in between the chairs. I
guess the chairs are the two big things which took the view of the first
step of the staircase. Yesterday, when they got busy mopping the floor
(after all the hard work I've done swiping the dust with my palms and
putting them into my mouth!), the chairs were somehow removed and
taa-daa.. the staircase was wide open for me to climb. When I was about
to fnished the 12th step, I heard mommy shouted my name, looking for me.
Here I am mommy, waved myself with one hand and one more palm on the
wooden step. (the kinda triangular one that MakSu Mariah had twice fell
from) She came running and swooped me out, giving me a big hug and few
kisses planted on my cheek! I 'd just love that!

Anyway, I'm sure the two big chairs won't be there anymore and I am free
to climb the stair whenever I can tomorrow. Mommy and Daddy are having
Kak Endon's family coming over for dinner tomororw and they'll surely
need the chairs! I love Kak Endon and the whole family, they take VERY
VERY good care of me whenever mommy and daddy go to work. The kakaks and
abang love playing with me. I heard Tuk and Tuk Wan will come over too.
And I heard Daddy talked to Mommy about getting a cake on the way back
home. I guess a cake is something for me to splash splash my little
palms on, and smashed my face and so-little-hair on my heads with while
they sing that so special Birthday song!

I just can't wait for tomorrow, where I'll turn one, whatever it means!

Well, enough of ballooning my own head up!

RockStar INXS is done with JD as the winner! I was for Jordis and Nick (the Aussie guy) but Jordis was the fifth to left and Nick, they took him out tonight. Then Marty and JD performed ( I personally feel that Marty is cocky, eventhough he is GOOD). Then Nick's defeat is very much justified with JD beated Marty. Happy however, I am.

One Tree Hill, by the way (been following it since the last three episodes) was as usual, sedih and like there's no ending. Peyton ( I loveeee her hair! ) and Lucas are still not together (or else the thril won't be there, anymore) and somehow Brook found out. I just love the thrill of the secret Peyton and Lucas tried to keep, and could almost feel the warmth in my hand everytime they tried so hard to be together. (aggh what was Peyton's real name???) They however decided not to be together so that Brooke won't hurt and don't think they would be next week. (tak pe lah.. I like it that way) Can't wait for next week's episode!

Yawning (big one) and better hit the pillow now!

My First Paper

On Wednesday, I presented a paper at one of the workshop where we were supposed to be the shooting target. Wasn't really scared since I know that the bosses were around to answer. I've gone thru the presentation with Shaiful once and I know which part will be the hit target.However, I wrote a manuscript, just in case. Practiced about three times the night before and was spending the time waiting for my paper dragging around Azrina to beg her revamping my database.

Came my turn, which people told it's gonna be the hottest paper, I remained calm. They told me to wait since the biggest boss has not arrived and she is very much interested in the subject. When she arrived, I took my place and told the audience that the delay was because I just had to go and redo my hair!

The slides went smoothly and I managed to slip in a few jokes (which I think silly). Questions came, and I asked from the MD the permission to answer that myself. When the biggest boss finally spoken, I turned for the talian hayat of my bosses which then came to my rescue with me standing at the rostrum clicking slides.

Not so much things done huh.... But when I stepped down, I heard 'well dones' from some people. Shaiful smsed me after that to congratulate too. I was like, okay, you guys were there to answer the questions. There isn't so much opportunity to portray how well I am with the subject (which I don't think I am very much!).

But today, it only hit me that I was actually GOOD! (haha masuk bakul angkat sendiri). My slides somehow had enlightened some people's confusion. Azrina told me that if it's somebody else who presented, he/she'd be shot (and I wasn't). Sobri personally told me I did good and a few other people. I am so floating! Ballooning up!

Not bad, Aisha, for a first timer!

My Access.db project

Fooh! Gotta lot to do on my access dbase..

1.First, I gotta delete all the relationships. To do that, I gotta first
save all the raw data into excel. Do all the data key in in the forms.

2.Then I gotta arrange the column to add for ERMS PO and PR number.

3.Due to the current financial audit where my finance can't tie up the
total amount due to which shipment, I gotta arrange a table for vendor's
no and amount separately. We can do this by letting db to check the
invoice total.

4.Final project will be adding Despatch Demurrage calculation to the db.

Busy, busy, busy bee..... and I blame all these on Azrina for getting me
excited on db!
aisha

What a weekend!

Had a bowling tournament on Friday night at Midvalley Cosmic Bowl with KEV, EPU and NLDC. Got the chance to see Azrina's chubbiest kids alive and he is so sooo cool! Won the third best group (which I don't know how since I scored an average of 150 for three games!) Saw Bobo's girl for the first time and she's so adorable. Zue was there too, decided to say hi to her anyway. And of course it'll always be me who tegur first, kan she is with the greatest crony on earth whose greatest enemy is Aisha? I gave her a 'four' (at a game we played during management course) and I wish to maintain that way (depending on my hormones! haha)

Went back to Lenggong on Saturday morning. The new road is almost completed. Had nasi lemak this morning and my favorite asam pari for lunch! Yummy... Hopefully I will not gain back the 3 kg I lost! :)

Last week, they said that the share has dropped. I didn't know by how much, didn't care lesssince I wasn't offered any lots. However, there have been some misfortunes over Melaka where some factories were somehow 'not receiving' electricity and some Free Industrial Zones tenants over Kedah experiencing a 1.5 hours of black out. The Melaka thingy was worst, I guess, since Melaka is the C.O.E (center of excellence). There was then this government function where it was attended by Johor's rep instead of Melaka and that Johor's rep can't answer much on the incompetency of Melaka's team, then chose to simply answer, "No budget!". That guy will kena teruk one!!

Anyway, that Johor guy, I feel is talking out of his personal experience. Rumors have spread that for the new Financial Year budget, all maintenance and project budget have been cut drastically by the new management team. (Ermmm.... that's what you got when you don't jaga hati your people so well.) That guy was speaking his heart out, his project must be one whose budget has been cut.

Ethically, you can't talk bad about your company no matter how frustrated you feel over work. We are human, by the way. There are number of times where I feel like writing to MG Pillai or some major paper when I feel so 'bogged' down over stuffs at work. Stuffs involving integrity that recently have been talked about so much, but didn't it bother you to know that the same people who have been going all out about integrity is among ones who have just released that big projects without any tender exercise? Pushing one big company who have been internationally well known as liar to be awarded a contract novation? Instructing one local company to be awarded one spot contract just because the director of that company has helped the Prime Minister up? (ooo have I been talking much!)

You guys must be relieved to know that I didn't go and write. I still have this positive thoughts in my mind that these instructions must be obeyed and it'll somehow benefiting the company, in other way round. Plus, who am I to judge them? Hormones must be right to be having all these positive things in my mind ! (or else?)

I think i better stop writing now or else all the details will spill like beans from the beanie bags! Going upstairs...

Weight Today

Weight today is 57kg (thanks Mr Scale) after two weeks of Puasa. Total
weight loss is 3 kg.

Be ashamed, Man Uni fans, coz the Man City boys are here!!!

The Despatch(DD) Demurrage Issue is Back!!!

My heart has been dreading about this, since 2001. It is an account where we supposed to collect money from some people after paying to some people. It’s back to back account but we’ve been paying more frequently than we collect.

It starts when we first started. At first, when there were not so many shipments, one person can handle DD while doing operation. Then when there are more than 40 shipments in a year, more than 18 vendors to collect from / pay to, things started to go haywire. Each time we tried to settle one shipment, and pay them, it somehow gone unrecorded of which shipment it belongs to in the Finance. Finance pushed that back to us, saying that it is our job to do. I’ve been trying to collect from some parties when I started learn about the system, but by the time I wanna do the collection, I found out that we actually owed them a few shipments back a few years. Went back to find the documents, it simple wasn’t there. While trying to settle the late shipments, few shipments coming like meteor rain and we end up with more back log.

Thing is, in other companies that I visit, there is a dedicated person doing this and only this. Some Australian companies even hire a company to do this for them. I’ve been screaming this to the management, either dedicate a person to do this and only this or get us more people so that the operation goes smoothly.

Kana then helped to sort some old documents and a spreadsheet is created so that all data is consolidated under one file. Eventhough we sometimes bite each other on who first to use the file at any one time, things went smoother. But still, the issue is unsettled. Issue then got noticed by Auditor in FY 04 audit. That was when the top management decide that we need more Accountant. Kadir came along and he did a splendid job breaking all the money we’re received and we’ve paid (few years back). He even created a more reliable Access dBase, dug old files and managed to chase the Auditors away. Then what were left is us to settle the backlogs while the new shipments keep coming.

With Ida joining in, it should be easier for Murali and I. I concentrate on Supplier, Murali concentrates on Owners and Customers, and Ida is just picking up the beat. We know that it was hard, keying in is another thing but negotiating with the owners and suppliers on disputes are actually taking much more time. I asked Kana for help, again but Murali didn’t agree. He said, why bother to ask other people to help? Few months down the road people will start boasting around about how we have tortured others to do our own work. I said, fine, let’s do this ourselves and see how much we can get done. Meanwhile, we screamed again on having more people inside the logistics room.

Kana is one efficient staff. She is superb with data and excel files. But we need more than keying data, we need people to be able to converse with the suppliers, chase the agents to submit Statement of Facts for both ports, and chase them for laytime confirmation and not fussy to change the amount of Debit / Credit Notes. Murali could be NOT comfortable asking Kana to do so. Probability is, the chasing and the changing, Kana will get us to do for her and that is actually the biggest part of DD calculation. The thing is, I don’t think Murali is comfortable enough to ask Kana to do so. I abided Murali’s concern, furthermore I am afraid if I ask Kana to join in the team, Murali will be offended and I need his expertise since he has been around long enough.

Then there were only three of us, Me, Murali and Ida. We three indulged ourselves with the DD while managing the operations, contract signing, spot tenders, long term tenders, invoicing, insurance coverage, customer meetings, customer survey, Coal Retreat, ERMS data conversion, ISO audit, AKP audit, not forgetting the normal reports to be produced weekly: coal delivery schedule, vessel itinerary, coal yard status, KPI, updating cost monitor, monthly report. By the time Ida got the hang of it, the FY 05 Auditor came.

And I was called in to answer, are these amount recoverable?

Yes Auditors, it is recoverable provided you give me more time, meaning you stop the current operations and let us concentrate clearing the back log or you give me more people.

So, God, there’s no one can help me on this anymore but you. Please, please, let the Auditor walk away with this year issue. I promise that I’ll get three of us to settle the old shipments. I’ll hand over the new FY shipments to Kana (there are three so far) and I will speak to her about the importance of chasing the people, for Statement of Facts, for confirmation. There will be 4 DN/CN for each shipment, which will be named by number(a),(b),(c) and (d). It might creates more job for her but it is a good way for both Finance and us to monitor who to chase. She’ll then mail these DN/CN to the parties attaching the calculation. If the parties agree, they’ll pay (or at least hit their book) according to the DN/CN. If not, they’ll come back with their calculation, and kana had to go and check the contracts, see whether their argument is correct and subsequently changed the DN/CN amounts. I know she’ll scream to me when she couldn’t find the contracts (some of them are not available yet, we have to refer to the tender documents) but one thing, I know she’ll get things done.

So, God, I’ve laid out the plan for next FY. Please, please, let the auditors walk away and please guide me. Grant me strength and perseverance to settle this.

Oh I am such a sissy!!

The Appraisal Season Has Begun.

Everybody has rated everybody. The bosses have been rated by the MD. I and Ida have been rated by Asihin, in rush, last Saturday after I ‘proved’ that I have been doing work until late morning for five straight days! Azmady had done all his technicians.

What happened after everybody is rated? Basically, the Competencies will determine the salary increment and the Key Performance Indicator (KPI) will determine the bonus. You’ll be rated either 1 (very bad) 2 (average) and 3 (very good).

But for some people, it is not the money that counts. It is the feeling of ‘being appreciated’ by your own bosses weighs much more. And I have witnessed a lot of UNAPPRECIATED feelings going on and it just bogged me down. The list has been out and one idiot had somehow managed to ‘circulate’ the ranking (and marks) around the office. Since then, there are so much negativity in the air that I breathe that made me wanna take leave tomorrow (if Cemtex Orient has been released from her detainship)

I will tell you what the appraisal system has done to the people.

Ones who have been staying up after 5:00 now go back exactly at 5:00. No more staying back to receive an overseas fax. I guess that means no to coming to work during weekends just to make sure the certificates get to customer before vessel arrival. Pity the company, she’s so talented and so hard working. These are the kind of people whom will be snatched and whatever happened to the statement, “Our human resource is our greatest asset!”

Those who get to be interviewed by the big boss and can prove that he/she deserve a three, will get a three. Be late in scheduling the appointment with the big boss, eventhough you work your hard ass out, you’ll be told, “Sorry, I can’t afford to give so many three’s in the company”.

The guy who came in so early, went back so late, have clustered table is the benchmark. You came in earlier than him, you went back later than him, and if your table are messier than him, you might stand a chance to win a three. Please note that I am not saying the clustered table doesn’t deserve a three.

There are also naïve bosses who was taught that if you rate your subordinates three, that means she/he doesn’t need any training. Therefore, these bosses will rate you one instead of two or three considering that you need much more training. For me, training will improve you but it’s the hard work that you put on your work that needs to be appraised.

Hey I just found out that the Desperate Housewives is on at 8TV. And it is one episode earlier than 70. Daa!

on mommy...

Last night, daddy went to bowl. Mommy, at 10:00, after RockstarINXS,
bathed Azam Zikry up, fed him and shut the light off. He tossed around
the bed, grinning and laughing whenever he can. Mommy was trying to be
very very quiet, so that he'll go to sleep. Occasionally pulled him when
mommy thinks he was about to fall off from the bed. When mommy's
patience was going thin (and mommy gotta go down and make that kuah mee
rebus for tomorrow), mommy picked him up and hugged him. He, lying on
his tummy, put his chin on mommy's chest and dozed off.

Mommy said nothing no more and stroke his back. The two slept that way.

And the kuah mee rebus is gone.

Sunday Entry

Sunday

 

What a weekend!

 

I spent last Saturday starting from 12:30 a.m. on the Tender Evaluation. Presented it to the committee on Saturday morning, for the fourth day. The idea that they decided (on how to go about the paper) on Wednesday  was revisited and it turned out that I have to redo the paper all over. Why oh misters why… Why is such that you want to make my life difficult? You know, for sure, that the Board will decide anyway….  The oil I burnt on Saturday early early morning felt so wasted and I haven’t altered the paper yet. I’ll do that just before the meeting tomorrow. If they decide to revisit the decision, I’ll get them write the paper themselves.

 

Knowing that how hard I worked, my Immediate Manager (ImMgr), by the way, appreciated it. (WOW!) He was flying to Australia on Sunday morning and the appraisal gotta be done before he went (since the due date falls in the week that he’ll be in Australia). He quickly sat down on my computer, login to the PMS (Performance Mgmt System, izit?) and quickly ran thru four of my KPIs.

 

The largest weightage I have on my KPI weighs 50% and there are SOOOO many things I felt I have not achieved in that particular KPI. Despatch Demurrage for one, I never got the time to clear the hutang hutang. The big boss decided that I should concentrate on that. Then I haven’t gotten the CPC signed (for one supplier, the four CPC just got signed days before the appraisal). When my ImMgr hit “3”, (the highest point one could ever give) on my 50% of KPI, I just felt thrilled. I explained to him that there are things I haven’t settled and was about to show the evidence but he said I have burnt the night oil for this tender evaluation and that matters most to him. Relieved.. somebody at last appreciate my work. He never really praise me for stuffs  but he did, last Saturday. I couldn’t feel more thankful.

 

Saturday I fasted, the 17^th day. Then I got 13 more days to go plus 5 more days plus 3 more days for Nazar.  Weight by the way has gone down 1kg, say office’ scale.. But I guess after Saturday’s BBQ (on papa’s and azam zikry’s double celebration), Nik’s best macaroni pie in town (so pedass… sedap gile.. it’s Malacca Macaroni Pie, I’d call), Mama’s lamb dal on Sunday lunch, I think it’ll go back to 60kg!. I’ll ask Mr Scale tomorrow.

 

Azmady went for his two hours bowling training at Sunway Pyramid. I dragged Azam Zikry along and he fell asleep at Esprit. I was hopping from Esprit to MNG, to G2000, to a few others, then he woke up at Parkson, where I found lots of good top. Hmm mommy gotta come back to review the tops (Mommy gotta buy!!). He then refused to sit in the stroller. With him on the hip, we went back to the bowling alley with mommy making few stops to check on whether there are better offers than Parkson's. Daddy, but, still wanna continue with one more game which permission was first denied, but so kesian tengok his face, I decided to let him play one game more. Brought Azam Zikry to the aquarium and he was so thrilled, making some ‘oh oh’ at the aquarium. So cutee…..!Had dinner at Kenny Rogers, since we tak larat to go down to where all the other eateries are, and Azam Zikry refused to eat porridge Tuk Mama made. He instead walloped our Mac n Cheese, Banana Muffin and Baked Beans. Sedap, kan baby?

 

Just seen the finale of Apprentice 3 which the other episodes we never had chance to watch. I feel that the Tanya was very very defensive, very vocal and not the kinda of boss I wanna work with. Asyik melawan je keje, and melawan in a way that will put the bosses’ faces down. Attitude was not good, I feel.

 

Then saw Oprah, the rerun of interview of what the name, Mike Tyson’s ex wife. The woman was so emotionally and physically abused but who am I to judge on why Mike did so. Even Allah wait the Judgement Day to judge people, why should I do one now? My heart, by the way, went out for her. It must be difficult to be living in a house that was supposed to be filled with love but instead with all the anger, jealousy, kicks and punches. Feel so glad and proud I have Azmady who never leave me alone to wash Azam Zikry butt when he did that big business.

 

It’s one and I better sleep. Daaa…

at Projet Bangi

Guess where I am now?

 

Projet, Bangi! Waiting for Azmady to pick me up after Sob dropped me off. Don’t ask! (had a meeting at HQ and nobody was to send me back to Office, might as well I take a lift from Sob and asked him to drop me where Azmady can easily pick me up, there my answer goes!) Guess having ONE car is really troublesome, but still I can manage to live. Just have to be a sikit tak malu lah, asking lift from people and stuff. And deal a bit with the baby sitter to come back late. (Remind me to buy some kain or something for her, this month banyak sangat balik lambat picking up Azam Zikry)

 

By the way, the guy who hit us has been summoned by the PJ Police. Meaning, he is proven GUILTY. It’ll be easier for us to process the insurance, Papa’s NCB won’t be affected and we’ll get a new car!! The list shall be: Toyota Vios 1.5 (but the back seat are to small for me and hubby to humpy pumpy! Hahaha) next is Honda City but heard so much bad review. Then the Chevrolet Optra (but the re-sale value is not too good, people said). Azmady is also eyeing Kia Spectra but I’m not too keen. We are NOT going for an MPV, definitely! A big NO NO! For me, owning an MPV is like telling the world, hey look at my body, I’m chubby since I have many kids to fit in the MPV!!  Tak glamour langsung! Lainlah if I have body like Amy Mastura, driving an MPV will be a pride.

 

Anyway, talking about body, the MR Scale (both at work and home) still shows the same, 60kg! Despite the five consecutive days of fasting, Sendayu Tinggi (for two weeks) and Yoga at nights, I’ still the big fat 60kg.

 

Still reckying for that Food Diary to be installed to my Mini O2.

 

And still have  a Tender to be evaluated. The committee will sit for the fourth time tomorrow, and all thanks to one person who is so meticulous (how the spelling is, btw). My patience is tested but keep myself reminded that it is his signature to be printed in the evaluation paper. Of course he must me comfortable putting down his signature.

 

An old Chinese couple is sitting behind me. I better sign off. Am writing in Word by the way ( I typed WORLD instead of WORD hahaha.. MAWI WORLD!). Will cut n paste into Blogspot which I have changed name into clipperseep.blogspot.com instead of that weird name + birthday. Gotta run!

Missed Blogging :(

Wow! Just finished writing the third draft of my Board Paper to be presented to the committee. Wonder how would that go tomorrow.  

 

I actually missed blogging. Can’t really find the time to pour my thoughts, can’t really find time to think for myself, actually.  

 

The week has passed by with me BERJAYA fasting for 4 consecutive days. I got another 15 days to go. Weight doesn’t really go down, by the way. Both weight scale (over home and work) shows the big 60, refusing to move towards its left. (Why Mr. Scale, why??!) It also had been almost two weeks with Sendayu Tinggi. I think I give another RM96 a shot. (I am so in AF fever!!) 

 

A boss over work, Sob, had just lost his mom. He came back to work today, I saw him in the office and gave him a big hug. He was obviously in tears whenever he was alone. He must be attached (sooo attached) to his mom that God let him be there by his mom’s side when she passed away. Thought whether God will serve me the same. Then quickly called home, but mak wasn’t around. Talked to apak, instead. Told him the plan of buying a new sofa set for kampong. Asked him to recky. At night, mak called to reconfirm. Hehe.. those two never reconcile over stuffs involving the kids’ monies. 

 

Anyway, came back to Sob, I just hope that he’ll recover soon. It broke my heart to see him walking around with swollen eyes. I’m sure he has done enough for the mom to feel loved and cared but, how enough can one feel?   

 

She, by the way, is going to Australia for a coal conference (hey, I’ve never been to Australia). Syahir, who is outside the coal team, but always worked for us compiling the data for the purpose of record, was supposed to go to Japan but his application as somehow rejected due to incoherence of certain procedures. (We were supposed to get the CEO permission before reserving any seats for overseas training, but by the time we finally get the permission, it will be waaaaaaaaay over the date line) I just hope Syahir will get the chance to go to Japan, pity him, he worked for Coal Team more than She did. (In fact Ida has never been overseas) Don’t let me start how come She is given so much opportunity inside Coal Team. Rumors said that she’ll be joining the team, soon, but not starting from Coal Operation. I mean, if someone honestly wants to learn about the Coal Business, Operation is where you should start, where you’d learn who’s who in the business, the vessel queues during high market time, the customer’s requirement (and hassle of dealing with them). Anyway, who am I to talk? (or shall I write, how blue are my eyes to talk such things about the blue eyed girl).    

 

What have I been reading about office politics is coming to life. Welcome to the real life, mommy, where the sweet talkers and coffee makers got all the advantages! 

 

On the happier note, li’l Azam Zikry now is getting cuter (mommy thinks). Have small plan for his birthday (which falls just a day before 1^st Ramadan). Will be inviting his baby sitters (and the family) and a few friends who live nearby. Would just order some mee goreng or mee what-ever and buy a bucket of KFC for Kak Endon’s kids. The other night, I thought I heard Azam Zikry said thank you. Hmm. Imran, baby of Edina, can now pronounce ‘ayah’ so clearly. I am so excited over his development but not pushing Azam Zikry though.  

 

It’s almost 12:00. Better go up and sleep before dear hubby merepek repek about me staying up late for almost every night now.  

 

PS Azrina, if you read this, I was about to write. instead of the real name! Hahaha.. kau punya pasal, I’.!

2nd Day Puasa

After a long cuti (period), today is the second day puasa. So
mengantukzzzz..... I had 30 days to pay (thanks to Azam Zikry for going
out before 1st Ramadan), so far I've done 12. (BIG 12, okay!!!)

Yesterday breaking fast was at Penang Street (wow can't hardly open my
eyes) at Sunway Pyramid. Azmady had KueyTeow Soup and me what else, Char
Kuey Teow. Li'l fellow followed around and we fed him the chicken in the
kuey teow soup (of course after daddy chewed them down)! The owner of
the shop was obviously had fallen in love with Azam Zikry. She even
called him, little angel. I had my favorite Golden Lime Juice before
tummy cried out in pain. Could be gastric. Azmady made me chewed two big
Gelusil and Azam Zikry tried to imitate the way I chewed. Cutezzzzzzz!

Colleagues stormed out from the office to go to Ikan Bakar Masjid
Negara. Hah.. I lorrrrvee the ikan bakar there, simple Kembung will do.
Ordered to tapau two kembungs and one pari for tonight buka puasa...
(omigod! eyes are really not cooperative)

Azam Zikry went to bed early last night, around 9:30. After a few rounds
of tossing around, up and down mommy's tummy, he felt asleep in the
middle of our bed. I went down to do some yoga while Daddy was at his
laptop doing some reports. I heated up Friday's Spaghetti, was walloping
them with Azmady when we heard a loud thud followed by a cry. We thought
he must have fallen out from bed, but he actually had hit the edge of
the bed where the kayu is. Poor mommy'sh baby! Daddy calmed his down
while Mommy went down to make some milk. He drank and dozed off.

10 more minutes to 1:00 before I dash off to Server Room for my
afternoon nap. Oh what the heck, I might as well go now. Futhermore,
I've punched in at 7:40 what!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Access dB

havin' complex problem (not so ah!) with my access db

i need the access to store value as dd-mm-yyyy hh:mm format
but Access don't allow me so!
it'll allowa dd-mm-yyy and hh:mm but not those two combined together...

then i should be able to make calculation with the new format of
dd-mm-yy-hh:mm = Time1 and so for Time2
I need to store value of Time1 - Time2 = in hh:mm format..

makin' any sense?

7956-9221

Finally Got Mawi's CD!!

I finally got one copy, at RM21.00, ORIGINAL!!!

It has all the 12 songs Mawi sang during the concert (from Prelude to Final)

There was this letter written to Utusan Malaysia by an angry buyer of
this CD. He thought this album is a re-record of all the songs, nobody
warned the poor guy that it was just 'cut n paste' from the concert
before he took out RM21.00 from his obviously thinner wallet.

If I was given the chance to buy either the 'cut n paste' version and
the 're-record' album, I would buy the cut n paste version. Cut n paste
version (titled Best of MAWI World) recorded all the errrr, all the
lalalala replacing the real words, the claps and wooo by the crowds when
he hit high notes. Most importantly, it remind me of the moments where I
start to fall in love with him. Listening to Intifada, I remember how I
leaped from my chair (over in law's house) , moving closer to the big
screen tv to see how this BEAUUUUTIFUL and MANLY voice look like. I
remember how terrified I feel when he sang Dari Kekasih for Kekasih (by
Hattan), praying so hard that he will not forget the lyrics like he did
with the Jamal's song before. Yet when that happened, you can hear how
serak his voice turned out after that, yet you'd admire his courage for
finishing the song with such attitude and beautiful high notes. Yup, he
screwed up but the courage he has is what made me fall in LURVE with!!!

This is a true example of a talented boy who has no knowledge but give
it a 100% try, no matter what. Like a 7 years old Palestinian who knows
nothing about how the war started nor how to operate a gun, throwing a
stone to the enemies with such passion and courage in his heart. Mawi is
just like that!

My favorite are Pupus and Seroja. My hairs went so meremang at the third
verse of Seroja where that Sham Kamikaze did AMazinGGG arrangement.
Nour'el Ain and Aduh Saliha were never my type of songs, anyway but
liked the way Mawi sing, BTW. Aduh Saliha was a hard song to sing,
there were the rap verses and he had to hit the high note right away
after that.

I am a proud of owner of such cut n paste album. 15 years down the road,
when Azam Zikry played Mawi's World 15th album, I'd proudly say, "Son,
listen how this man rise up" and play this cut n paste album.

Gotta email Zilis to see what happened on 4 Sept, Gathering of Mawi's FC.

done with the tailor

I'm done with the tailors!!

Since I gave birth, all my working suits were obviously and reasonably
tight. KETAT giler!!! Going to every outlet, I have to wear M jacket
with and XL pants (with the XL pants length are sweeping the floor,
nice!) I mean, what's wrong with KL girls' waists?? Don't you girls have
rice to eat????!! (Envious me talking)

Then I found a tailor near Central Market.(Talking about driving there,
I know!) I patiently made some trips there by LRT. First two suits, one
was completely a failure. The design was out, and funny. I gave up not.
I sent another three, and two turnt out as my favorite. They charge
RM100 per suit. I had a few blouses done there. Then I gave up with the
LRT trips.

Found out another tailor near work. She charged RM140 for a lining suit.
I sent three. Only one suit my eyes. The others were completely
failure!!! One pin striped suit were too big, when I sent back to
kecikkan, the stiches were a bit better than a Form 1 boy learning ERT!
A big!! I went ballistic! and rampage! Took the car to MidValley
straight away and head into Edmunser and spent RM520 on a suit! The
satisfaction was there, I silently justifying myself.

I Felt Asleep in Yoga Class Because It Was So Susah and Tiring

Yoga Class today was , I'd say, rather intensive and damn SUSAH! I think
I like the old male teacher better than this Gabrielle-look-a-like
teacher. But she is good actually. If she is granted to give grade to
us, I think I'd be the only one with big F, there are other new comers
to, two Minah Salleh who obviously got a lot more attention from the
Gabrielle than me, would get A- and the rest of the class will score A+.
(the jealous me talking)

Gotta seriously look whether I prefer Yoga over treadmill. Think I give
the Gabrielle (her name is Jean, btw) another few classes before
deciding to drop Yoga all the way.

1st September - The New Financial Year where the Punch Card Era starts!

Saw a male colleague running towards the lift today and wondered why. He
said that the punch card thingy will start today. I laughed, yeah.. like
we are going back to the old days. Turned out that it's true!!

The punch card is located at the door of my MD's room. There are list of
cards displayed and I scrambled to look at my cards. Found and I safely
punched my card at 7:57. 3 more minutes and I will receive a love letter.

Guess I will go back right at 5:00 since people care so much on what
time do I come in. No more staying back, no more work at home to meet
the deadline.

what a merdeka

My hands were so itchy to snatch the thumb drive and bring it home on
Tuesday evening but my brain so no! 31 Aug is the time I should spend
time with my baby and his father instead of gluing my head into the
laptop over that long never ending tender evaluation.

Guess I was wrong.

We went back to his parents place and put up for the night. I nicely
woke him up early morning to give him that special session so that he'll
feel, what a day! Fed the baby, played with him for a while and pat his
back so that he'll sleep again. We then woke up at 10.30, breakfast and
got busy with the baby. 12.00 is my rerun of desperate housewives that I
missed watching the night before. That was the time he came down with me
and the baby, the rest of the day was spent in front of his PC,
downloading and transferring his MP3 files into his new mini O2!!! Guess
I should have brought that thumb drive home huh.

I know how excited he was with the new handphone but gosh!! getting
stuck with the clingy baby was the least thing I had in mind to fill up
my holiday. And poor baby just refused to take a nap. What he wanted to
do is to just 'be' in my arms. I know it sounds beautiful but with a mom
in law nagging me on when shall he go for nap, that he should nap now
instead of later, that he shouldn't eat first, that he shouldn't take
milk later just drove me crazy! Forget about the scream she made when
azam zikry went under the chair or just playing angguk angguk geleng
geleng, since there is a very BIG possibility azam zikry's head will hit
the full carpeted floor. I just wanted to go out from the house!!!!

(This is not about the husband got himself glued infront of his PC and
refused to take me out. Neither about the mom in law who has had
experiences with four babies before)

Thing that really bothered me is, I was not a party girl. I went to club
before, less than five times of my entire life. My social life never
evolved around the club friends. So what do I miss so much about staying
home and not 'going out'?

Going out for me is actually having to drive my own car and park it at
any mall's basement that I like. Going out for me is trying every single
interesting top in every single interesting outlet or trying out every
single color of lippies at CD and never have to buy anything. Going out
for me is seizing the opportunity of grabbing the 5-in-1 panties on
sale. Going out for me is walking alone towards the two ends of the mall
until my feet ache. Going out for me is spending hours in book store,
flipping thru the pages that I thought amazing and buy a copy or two.
Going out for me is spending time over coffee at the mall reading the
book I thought interesting after making some trips to my car to keep the
other stuffs I just purchased. Going out for me is meeting Syima and
listening to her stories over fries and ice cream. You can say that I am
so comfortable at the mall that I can eat alone at any eatery.

Am I not comfortable at home? Am I a bad mother to choose the mall over
a clingy baby? Was it bad for me to feel this way? Try say this out to
my aunt and I'll get that kinda look for straight two hours on how
'sinful' I am, how lousy a wife I make and what a small heart I have for
my little AzamZikry.

Guess I bettter keep that inside rather than write this out huh. But the
promise to myself that I will write honestly won. Then I will write
again in capital, WHAT A MERDEKA DAY I HAD YESTERDAY!

Honesty in Blogging

Who Actually Read This Blog and Why Do I Care?

My hubby was wondering whether a blog that I wrote about his friend
finally got to the friend's attention. I'm sure someone will get hurt
reading my blog.

That brought me to my own issue. The initial intention of having a blog
is so that I will have an online journal / diary that I can easily write
to, it's there anywhere I go (I mean, I don't have to bring the whole
thick diary with lock and key and pen to the jungle of Kalimantan when I
have an online blog) and I can chose the friends whom I like them to
read with (remind me to write about a bestfriend of mine, Yan, with whom
I exchanged diary when we were 14 and found out that we actually liked
same guy! Hahahaha)

SOMEHOW, I sometimes found myself scrambling for words that can present
my thoughts or my feelings a lot nicer that what I actually
thought/felt. It was like I tried writing and being careful of not
hurting some people at the same time. Can it work? I don't think I can.

So, I've decided to put away of what people think of my entries and put
my Feelings and Thoughts first. After all, it is my blog, isn't it? To
prevent people from being hurt, somehow e-assaulted over my blog, I will
only reveal this blog to those who I can be really really frank with,
who understands somehow or rather why do I feel crappy about some
stuffs. Let's see who will be in the list..?

First, it would be ( or not?) my husband, who is nowadays is my
bestfriend. He is there to listen to when my Windows gave me problems
consistently. But, that will stop me from writing about guys I had crush
with, (or currently am having crush with ? hahahaha), memories I
treasure with the ex boyfriends.

Second, it surely be Yan (provided she has an easy internet access,
she's not really an IT savvy, that girl). Who else I am much comfortable
with other than the girl whose diary I once exchanged with?

Then it came Syima, the high school friend whom then was my roomate. My
god, she and I, we have been thru thick and thin. We've been thru the
pain and joy together, pain of losing, changing jobs, jumping in between
relationships. There's no one in this world she trust more than me. We
also share the same history, getting the hair rebonding at the same time
and same saloon, learning swimming at the age of 25 (!) together.

Next in the list will be Edina, whom was my classmate (sometimes the
only girl friend in the whole four years of Mechanical Engineering
program), my roomate and my shoulder to cry on when we were in college.
We went thru the first pregancy together, sharing the bitterness of hers
and joy of mine. She was there on my wedding, taking all the important
pictures, arranging them nicely in the album. One thing with her,
Edina, is her honesty. If you are looking for a friend who won't say
things you actually need to hear, she's the one. She is really , really
frank and straight forward. Kinda girl who pulled me up when I felt that
I was at the end of the world.

Surely no one at work will be in the list since I wanna talk sincerely
and honestly about how I feel on certain stuffs over work.

But Rohana, a lady whom I used to work with, shall be in the list. She,
God, she is what I want to be , how I wanna grow old like. I never heard
she cursed even how mad she was. She was understanding, was there
anytime I need someone to talk to. She's also GORGEOUS and beautiful,
the kinda of person who guys can never take their eyes of. An efficient
worker, the kind who is neat, smart, hardworking and very very
organized, just the kinda boss I want to be, one day.

I think that 'd be all. All the girls whose friendship I treasure most.
Lemme see whether there are more and will write once a name pops up.
Meanwhile, I can start writing honestly in my own blog. I mean, really ,
really HONEST.

Hmmm.. I am yet to decide whether the husband shall be in the list. :)

the finale episode of LOST

The Finale of LOST

Damn! I know it will have no complete ending!

Last night, we saw the finale episode of LOST back to back. Like what I
expected, they'll still got stuck on the island, no one came to rescue
them, something will be so wrong to the boat and the main character stay
ALIVE (Jack, John Locke, Kate, Claire and the baby, the junkie, Danielle
the mad French woman, big fat Hugo, Sayid and new girlfriend (Boone's
sister), Sun the Korean and the husband, Walt and his father, Sawyer ),
at least now. These people will not die and IF they die, they will die
with drama (like Boone).

Remember when Boone died? Compare the scene with the death of Arntz, the
school teacher. Boone died with last sentences uttered for Jack, even
with great difficulty and Arntz died with a kaboom, while he was
talking. A big unfair there, isn't it?

However, LOST is still a story of its kind. It reveals the truth about
how people turn bad and it'll open your eyes that being bad, being
criminal is not one's choice. There are reasons behind it and only
strong character can remain 'good' towards the end. It is sad to know
why one turns bad, why one does things that is totally unacceptable to us.

The most tragic story, for me, is Sawyer's. His mother was killed and he
was made to believe one guy down in Australia did it. Towards the end,
after the murder, he found out that he was CONNED by somebody, that the
guy was the not the one who did it. Sad, isn't it, to commit a crime for
a reason we strongly believe but the truth was revealed when we have
finally done it.

Second I like best was Locke.

Kate's story was so so for me. I mean, how important a plane toy to her
as portrayed in the series failed to show me how strong was the love
towards the ex boyfriend.

Jack's stories mostly remained unrevealed. LOST 2 will open up a bit
more than what was done in LOST.

(Is there a LOST 2, by the way?) I patiently wait for LOST 2, meanwhile,
let me enjoy the Desperate Housewives. Aggh.. a friend emailed me the
website of the full story (and the ENDING) of Desperate Housewives. I am
so tempted to open....

Donation: where it'd go to?

We always read about some misfortunes of people, citizen of Malaysia. At
the bottom of the long, solemn article, there will be sentence like,

"Donations can be made THRU the some-fund- at Maybank account no:
xxxx-xxxx-xxxx".

I always question, do the money really go to the needies? How long it'd
took for the fund raising foundation to channel the money to the
needies? Will it ever get to the needies a.s.a.p?

And I have found myself stop donating thru the maybank2u.com where the
money goes to the fund raiser. Ask me about the Tsunami victims, none of
my cents went to any of the fund raiser . But my clothes were.

This 'don't trust the fund raiser' started when I happened to work,
voluntarily for a fund raising foundation. Towards the end of the work
then only I found out that the foundation is actually entitled for a
certain percentage of the total donation received. No doubt, they used
their facility in getting the donations coming in (faxes, printing,
telephone) but in getting the whole accounting auditted properly, it 'd
be too late for the needy people.

I sometimes, too, doubt that the money really go for the needies.

Guess I now have a heart as cold as a stone huh

Influenced by me? Hmmm :) I now remember what my dad used to say, no
matter where the money goes, your deed counts (pahala) the moment you
poured the coins into the donation box. Let the fund raisers be
questioned by God and God only. If God waits to the very end of day to
question them, why should you now?

And the needies, dad?

They'll manage, for there is God in every air they breath.

But I still hold on to my coins everytime I went to MacDonald's. God helps!

The Haze is Gone!!!

Somehow, the wind blew the haze away from Klang Valley. I can breathe again! I never thought of feeling so happy seeing the sun.

Thank God that the baby is not very affected by the Haze. He coughed a bit and runny nose at nights, which I think is good to protect the dust from getting into his little nostrils.

Enuff about the Haze. Let's talk about friend in need and friend in dire need.

Once, my hubby was in need of borrowing something from a friend, B. He drove all the way to B's office, got lost a few times, and finally, when the car is parked at the basement, B said that he forgot to bring the item to the office. A day after, B didn't pick up the cellphone to indicate when is he available. We have to postpone a few activities during the weekend so that my husband can get hold of B just to borrow that thing.

Last weekend, B called to borrow something from my husband, instead. We were about to leave the house. Azmady said that he'll leave that thing in front of the mailbox. We left and came back that night seeing that the item is taken. Without even a text message to thank, not even a phone call to say thank you.

Have you ever had a friend like that?

The one who will call you in the middle of night to get something from you?

Then never was there when you were in need of something from him/her?

Lemme see whether I had one.

There was this guy friend who called me up in the middle of the night to go to the police station and bail him out. It was 3. 00 a.m. and I gotta drag my roomate for they needed another person to bail the girlfriend out.

When I was doing a project between my department and his, he sometimes didn't pick up the phone when I need to talk to him. He didn't submit to me things that he was supposed to submit. Once, he literally raised his voice over the phone when I repeatedly asked for the items.
I kept the anger inside. Never said anything about that 3.00 a.m. bail out thing. For me, I did wake up at 3.00 a.m. answering his call just because he is my friend, not because I want something out of him (the project idea was never existed during that distress call).

I feel conned. What value was a friend to him?

Then a few months later he needed someones to be there at the court. He called me and had the gut to expect me taking the half day leave to be there at the court. It was not my intention to pay back what he has done but I really had something going on that day.

He never call me, again.

Haze in Klang Valley

Oh I feel so crappy!!

It has been days driving back home with visibility getting reduced and
reduced each day. I can't help but feeling that the END DAY is near. The
world that I used to see with brigh shinny sunshine now seems fading and
fading away. I wonder whether I would see the bright clear sky again?
The glaring sun?

What would you do if you know that the END DAY is near?

I would wanna go back to my parents' place, spend the days with them.
Tell them things that I did when I was small. Eat things they love to
cook. Eat together. Go for a picnic at the stream nearby. Let my baby
spend the hours with the grand parents. Show my baby the place we played
hide and seek, the spots at walls I secretly scribble on.

Take a walk at the neighbourhood and try to remember how many kids this
person has, what are the kids names, where are the kids now. Take a swim
at Sungai Perak.

Take my husband for a walk around the town. Show him the kindergarten I
went, the school, where I used to have my meals, where I used to hang
out during breaks, where my classes were before. Who are my favorite
teachers, the stair case to the classes which I always sit to wait for
my crush to pass by. Pay my crush a visit, ask him on how did he
actually really feel about me. (I'll sure my husband will pinch me then!)

Visit the other relatives nearby. Phone the ones far away. Draw a family
tree. Locate where is who, and who is where.

Design cards and color them, like I used to do. Send the cards to all
the old friends. Friends from kindergarten, from school, from high
school, the uni friends. Friends I met along the way. Extract the leaves
I hid between the Dictionaries' pages and pasted them on the cards to
the special friends.

About.How.Younglings.Of.MYORG.Look.At.The.Elders.

Thisiswrittenafewmonthsago(ohwhateverhappenedtomyspacebar!!).Found.it.in.one.of.the.file.

My husband, who is also the same org' staff was telling me about his ‘work at day’ on the way home. He just had a presentation to a new General Manager of an area whom he highly spoken of. The first word that came out from his mouth is, “Very diplomatic”.

He told me the details about how this new General Manager interrupted a conversation his friend, K, was having at the corner of the meeting rom. Other people might find K as very rude, talking in a big room with a GM presence. But this GM was humbly asking K to momentarily hold on to his idea, saying sorry more than few times while expressing the need of him to concentrate to the other’s words. He again said sorry before adjourning the meeting. My husband told me that this GM has been seconded to another government agency. I asked him for a name, and when he mentioned his name, Mr. I, I know exactly whom was he talking about.

My bosses and I had experienced working with Mr. I few years back when he was still with the government agency. True enough, I found that every words of what my husband has spoken of him is true. Thru my experience, Mr. I has a very strong but pleasant personality. He showed respect to me, as a very young Executive, as much as he shown the other more senior staffs. He joked with others with me around with jokes that are pleasantly spoken in a presence of a lady, funny but incredibly ‘sopan’. He never failed to show up in any of the event we had. He made effort to thank each one of us who organized the event, from my Number One right up to the dispatch boy who did the running around.

Could it be that his experience working outside the org has molded him into this pleasant human being? Or could it be just him?

I can’t really tell. But, before we reach home, I asked myself, could any young Executive of org in the future, be speaking of me as high as my husband and I have been talking about this Mr. I? I think that would be a very MUCH bigger achievement than the handful of ‘pension’ money I bring home.

The truth is, as any family, the young executives are actually looking at the more senior managers pretty much the same like a kid looking at his parents. We are the Younglings and you all can be either the Master Jedi or the Sith Lord. (Apology, still having fever of the Episode III of Star Wars). We look up at you, the way you speak and handle crisis. We tend to be influenced in every little aspects you sit and stand, from the way you dress to the way you handle the other human being.

If you are the Master Jedi, we speak very highly of you. The donation you asked one to raise for the cleaning makcik whose house was burnt down by fire and the thumb finger you chose to point towards the reception desk to the DHL guy when he mistakenly entered your meeting room. We bragged to our friends about you. We wrote in our journals that you are just what we want to grow up like. If you are the Sith Lord, we will be speaking about getting a transfer but still, some of your favorite spoken ‘words’, the files you chose to throw away outside a board room or the way you effortlessly shutting off someone’s ideas will somehow remain in our attributes, our character, our colors.

At the end of the day, we are still the kids looking up for the best models to live our career world. Yes, we may change the culture of a company, but the company’s future is pretty much in the elders’ hands. I hope many, including me, would be wise enough to distinguish between the Jedi and the Dark Lords and further guide the company so that I’ll be speaking highly of thirty years down the road.

When I looked into my wardrobe, true enough, the most color I can find is the same color I saw my previous female boss wore most. Do my character color resembles hers as well? Well, I’m proud to say that I, with great effort, withdrawing my forefinger and point to the pen dropped by the mail man,using.my.thumb. at the entrance.

Movie,"Hitch"Review.Written on 20th April.

Recently saw the movie, “Hitch”. We were having lunch when the thought of a movie came. Went to buy the ticket and the next available movie was Hitch which has already started about 5 minutes. We missed the preview which husband enjoys watching so much.

Hitch starred William Smith, Eva Menden (who’s this woman, anyway?), that fat guy from one sitcom at StarWorld and a few others. If there is a movie you want to have a good laugh at, this is the one.

The story line is very simple, a guy and a girl who doesn’t believe in love, or afraid of a commitment, found each other, fell in love without realizing, then hated each other but like any Hollywood romantic comedies (except My Best Friend’s Wedding), end up together (and like they always write, live happily ever after). Typical. But it cannot be categorized hilarious, because it is simply EXTRA HILLARIOUS!.

Something Hitchen (William Smith) was a male image consultant, dating expert, psychologist who was dumped during his college time.

Eva Menden (again, who is this woman?) looks more like Hispanic. Skinny but curveous with beautiful bottom. Wore heels (I think at least 3 inches) and no earings. You may notice that no-earrings from the first scene she appeared

That fat guy was a junior accountant with a big firm wearing nice suit, sloppy at meal times fell in love with a very rich girl whom is a client.

Story happened in New York, a beautiful part and warm season of New York (without the rats, shootings, old abandoned building, homeless hovering around). Both the leading parts live alone in a big windows second floor apartment with pleasant street views. (And I love BIG windows). There were fruit groceries, florist and delis downstairs and along the street they are living. They walked to work with taxis easily available all around them. They got everywhere fast and safe, with no typical New York massive jam. There were also scenes at Hudson River (the part of water you can get to Statue of Liberty). Too much beautiful with no jam, no dirt streets and no busy trains until you start asking, is this really New York.

But I think those are all balanced with the normal down to earth make up and costumes of the female stars. The three significant females were wearing not so posh clothing with simple make up like the Bobby Brown way. Freckles were effortlessly left uncovered.

Tuesday 1st August 2005: The date Pak Long Zul passed away.

Mak Long Bada and Pak Ngah Sharan are my father's cousin. Their mother passed away and ever since, they have been living with my grandmother. That made they more like siblings rather than cousins to my father and my Alang. When they grew up and married, their children are more like cousin rather second cousins.

Mak Long Bada got married to Pak Long Zul and their children: Laila, Deydey, Adah and Akah grew up literally with us. They came back for Raya to our home every year. Laila went to the same high school with me and she always made me feel proud. She is one of the coolest junior we had. Deydey is the only boy in the family. Adah went to the same college with my sister, Yan.

Pak Ngah Sharan got married to Mak Ngah Kamariah and blessed with four daughters Shaniza, Fira, Ina, Iyap and the final prince, Iqbal. They too sometimes came back for Raya to our home. They were there during my wedding and (my brother) Hamdan's wedding.

Pak Long Zul was diagnosed with colon cancer about a month ago (or more than that, we don't know). Mak Long has been keeping that a secret from the rest of the family. Deydey, however, was the one who broke the news to us. I didn't get the chance to see Pak Long Zul. I got the call from Alang about two hours after he passed away, at the Hospital of Kubang Kerian. He went away with Mak Long by his bedside.

I couldn't really digest the news anyway. We, Azmady and I and the baby, drove all the way to Grik, Perak the next day. I know I won't be able to see the body but it was the cousins that I really wanted to see. WHen we arrived at the their house, they have already taken the body to the cemetary. I took the opportunity to let Azam Zikry bonded with the rest of the aunties stayed guarding the house. Still, I couldn't really feel the sad air surround the house.

The sadness kicked in right away after the cousins came back from the cemetary. I saw each of their faces and the red eyes each one has. I can't imagine if it my siblings were at their place and they at ours. I turned to my dad and hugged him, hoping that he'll know I'm not ready to let him go yet.

May God grant them strength. May their love to each remain stronger thru these thick and thin days.

Akademi Fantasia Season 3 Final

Hey! The final night is finally here.... No doubt the winner will be Mawi. But my question is, will he win with Dignity? Will he show that he has put hard work and deserve the champion title?

Yazer last week was really going all out. He sang beautiful. He played the guitar fantastically when accompanying Felix. He rapped (yes, the Mawi also rapped) flawlessly during Kefli's performance. I would say that he was kicked out with dignity.

But will Mawi win with dignity?

Astro, on the other hand, is not showing the percentages of votes since Monday this week. I didn't get chance at all to see any of the diaries shown every night and morning. Heard from Azmady that Felix is not really happy with the song he got "Kudaku" or something. Marsha I though got her hair colored and I'm sure it did look beautiful.

My favorite is always Mawi but I have not spent a single cents to AFUNDI him. I feel that he doesn't deserve my money as Vince had. It is so hard to find a talented, hard working, brave and natural singer like Vince. No body, again, NO BODY, in this season performed outside his/her box. Every performance is very safe. No body tried out like Vince did in the first season. I wanted to see people 'modififed' songs, one thing neither of this season's students succeeded doing. Talking about hardworking, I never seen anyone from previous season 'forgetting' lyrics at the second last concert. Cikgu Siti Hajar was right, none of these students got 'it' right.

Vince remains as the benchmark.

I would also like to see the voting processes got audited. I mean, there are lots of these spectaculations about the votes were prefixed. I mean, if you are given the opportunity to play with people lives and getting money out of it, wouldn't you want to twist the 'storyline' here and there if you know that you'd get more money of doing so? Be transparent with the voting. I never feel like trusting Astro unless this system is audited and announced publicly.

Anway, I can't wait for tonight's performance. Let see how Mawi wins it.

On 2005 Retreat

On the ORG Coal Technical & Business Retreat 2005
It is the second time organized by The-Org Fuel, my company which comprises of twenty two people. All the 22 were involved.
JFC as the MD and SBH as the Head of the Committee have been more than supportive to me. Shaiful called me up on the stage to thank me, in front of the participants. JFC insisted that I sat next to him during the photo session. Well, being appreciated by your bosses is actually much worthy than the $$$ you are getting! (and I do love the $$$, too! *smile*)

This is my appreciate notes I wrote for them. Last time I took the effot to write on cards for each of them separately.

Dear you all,

Last year, I did write to each one of you one a piece of card but I guess I won’t have time to do so with the li’l fellow crawling around the house. Here goes my appreciation:

Firstly, to Mr Joe and Shaiful, thank you for your love and trust.

The big thanks go to:

The backbones of the event: Ena, Kana and Ida. You three have given me more what I expected, more than what you can give at any other time.

NFK, the participants’ invitations was the hardest work, you did it without any complaint. Your patience was very much tested when people call to change or didn’t bother to call at all. You’ve done your best to minimize the no-shows. We couldn’t never have done it without you.

KT, I know that I can always trust you and your judgement. You too have done the best in getting the cost as low as you can. The event went smoother this time for you have made sure the tiny little details are well taken care of. I know that this year, I don’t even have to meet the hotelier. You took care of everything and it made me feel so secured. You set an example of being ‘calm thru the storm’ like last year and I, everytime something chaotic happened, always remind myself to be just like you. Thank you, thank you and thank you for giving me your 200%.

INI, the perfectionist side of you was really shown. Look at how the printings were done! I know there were times you felt so lonely working alone arranging the paper without any help but I could say, one thing I admired is the smile and jokes that never leave you thru the hard time. Chasing the presenters soft copies were hard, I know, but you did it with your normal sense of humor. Thank you for the nice yellow t shirt you bought the committee members. Thank you too for keeping me calm all the time. I can never love you enough.

You three are angels.

SOB when I heard you said, “Orang puteh kampung mana ni.. tak reti buat dalam power point. Meh sini I buatkan presentation dia dalam power point!”. – referring to Peter James’ OHP transparencies – I vowed to say that I can kick anyone who dare giving me the impression that you are not committed (as others) to the event’ excellence. I admire you for saying that, and I have always known that you will never fail to give us any support. The fact that you are a Senior Manager yet you are willing to turun padang to be with us, has earned so much respect from me.You are a living example of a true leadership.

PK your presentation was excellent. Thank you for doing it such a late notice. You spoke like a pro and it was clearly shown that you deserve the post. Remember to belanja me when your promotion is finally confirmed. You were there too supporting me emotionally. Thank you for the leading the repertory session and the beautiful forms you prepared for the repertoire. Thank you for taking Pak Dian back to KL. Hey.. you won ‘best dressed’ award for the first night - dinner buffet we had!

NAS, you are such a good sport during the gala dinner! I can’t stop laughing at your act. Thank you for your amazing sense of humor. Thank you too for chairing the first session.

ABS, I would say the award of the coolest Senior Manager goes to you! Look how relaxed you were, posing underneath the pokok kelapa while we were playing volleyball. Thank you for the beautiful speech you wrote for key note opening.

AKO, the “Fly Me to the Moon” video clip was fantastic. Thank you for taking care the IT part of the event. Thank you too for the effort of uploading the picture of all the delegates into the Laptop and flashing it out on the second day. I’m sure the delegates were proud seeing the pic on the screen. The buses were okay too. Above all, thank you for maintaining your normal self (the joker of all) and keeping me in the fun spirit of all time. You are my anchor.

Chief and MU, you two were never kedekut chipping in your help here and there. From golf, to logistics and equipment, every items were safe transported to and back to office. I feel safe with you two around, taking care of the items. Your work have always been genuine, non self-profiting. And Chief, your “Widuri” was entertaining! You two are more than my pillar of strength. (Tiang kekuatan saya ?? haha!!) Murali, I really appreciate your support eventhough you are so busy planning for your wedding. You are a bestfriend God sent from heaven.

AZ, saya berharap dapat diberi lebih banyak peluang menyaksikan hasil kerja dan kepimpinan AZ yang makin tergilap dari dulu lagi.

DD, I hope by now you know how closely knitted (Spelling?) we are as a family. Thank you for the beautiful song you played. Welcome to the family and I hope you will grow with us and learn the meanings of trust, love, patience, cooperation and support.

MSMY, you were always there and I can always count on you. I believe the picture were amazing. One thing I like about you is the spirit of “I Can Do” you portrayed in each of the task I need volunteer for. I am so proud of you and the attitude you showed through out the retreat journey made me respect you much more… hah let me put it in a more complex sentence – the attitude you showed thru these days made you look much composed than other people of your age. Sobri and I feel so proud.

CBPMS, we missed you so much when we were there. Thank you for looking after the office. I enjoyed the laughter you made us while arranging all the printings into the seminar folders. It was not the same without you around.

ADura and AKO, the retreat program was smart and crispy. Thank you.

ADura and Jay, the name tags were beautiful. The registration went so smooth with you two around and I didn’t worry a thing. Thank you, Kak Jay , for leaving the kids behind to support me thru out the event.

WONG, I know repertoire is a boring job but you said yes, anyhow. Thank you and I appreciate you being there. I hope to join you for your next golf flight.

Jazzy, you made the dinner beautiful and sovery well organized, just like you. I am so glad you are on board of this journey for I need the bubbly part of you for the dinner. You are one leader I would blow any balloon for. Thank you for allowing other MC talents to be developed. You made the first day event so relaxing (and fun too!). It went so smooth. Thank you.

JFT, many thanks for commenting on our group song. We missed you and your drum.

Ladies, you all looked amazing in the floral batik. Ena I think was the most outstanding and beautiful with the ala bienda scarf she wore. (that woman definitely loves RED!)

And guys, you were amazing in the Reject Shop shirt!

To all pool laptop caretakers, many thanks. We the committee has done the best to ensure that your belongings are well taken care of. Hope they are intact. Please do tell me if there are things missing from your laptop bags.

On behalf of the BATUBARA Team, we can never thank you enough for your support and your spirit. I can’t find words to show how much we appreciate your work and your being. Thank you for just being you, for being a ‘Fuel’.

At the evening when the event is over, and the li’l baby and his dad were asleep, I took a walk around the hotel and saw the empty secretariat and seminar rooms. Suddenly, there was this emptiness I felt within me. I was glad that the event was finally over and it was a success, but it was your companionship that I missed most, I guess. I wonder, would there be a chance where I can experience such strong support and love like you all shown to me? Would there be any other group who could be working so hard like you all? Would there be such trusting Directors like Mr Joe and Shaiful? Sikap kerjasama dan tolong menolong kita sebagai anggota kerja Fuel adalah sangat menonjol dan membuatkan saya terharu. Seminar itu sebenarnya adalah kerja yang sukar tapi anda semua membuatkannya nampak mudah dengan tawa riang dan sikap suka membantu anda.

Or is the ‘time of the month’ hitting me? Else, I wouldn’t be this mushy!

Thank you for letting me in your space. You guys are the best.

Much love, more than always,
clipperseep