I breastfed li'l Adam, let him sleep with my tit in his mouth. I did that to Azeuchry, too. They said boys are like that. They dozed off, mulut ternganga cam buaya, then only I could let my tit out and slept straight on my back. They slept, woke up and cried, and I switched boob, again, tit in the mouths.
With Anna, once she was asleep, my Maid took her and let her sleep somewhere else, mostly in the endoi (buaian). She woke up and cried, and my Maid took her back to me to nurse.
Lately I have been feeling that I have not been fair to Anna. She is the only girl, doesn't she deserve a lot of attention, hugs and kisses?
Last night on the way to back to Kampung, she was at the back with my Maid and abang Azeuchry. When it was only Anna and Azeuchry, Azeuchry sat in front with Mommy. And now since Adam is the littlest one, Anna had to give in and sat at the back. It is such a pain, i felt, as i held Adam closer to me at the front seat. (yes i know it was dangerously against the law but that is what breastfeeding mom do who has a maid, takkan Maid aku nak duduk depan dengan laki aku kot?) It is a pain to long to hold one kid but the other kid is requiring my attention.
I guess I understand the middle child syndrome a little bit better. With the first one, she always have to give in because Abang is always screaming for attention. With the littlest baby, she always have to give in because mom needs to give the boobsies to Adik.
I want to be fair. God help me to be fair.
I should pay more attention to Anna. She is big enough to understand that she is not being paid attention to. The least I want to hear when she grows up is Mom always hug and love the boys more, both Abang and Adik.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tidurlah Adik Adam..
Been feeding since 10:30 p.m. Letak je, uwaa balik. Ni dah pukul 12:30, letak, setiap kali baby Adam tried to uwa, i stroke his hair. Perhaps the stroking, or perhaps he pun dah tak larat nak uwa uwa dah dekat dua jam ni.
Baby boy orang kata jangan bagi nangis banyak sangat. Nanti sakit pasang. Hernia. With Azuechry pun pernah ada history hernia operation, mommy pun malas nak bagi Adik Adam nangis lama lama. Tapi bila mommy pun dah dekat dua jam mengendong, menyusu, mommy pun naik pening dah niii...
But reading the blog by Sharulniza, at http://mayyonnizz.blogspot.com , made mommy aware that i am thankful to be given that 2 hours of non stop rocking-feeding-rocking-singing-feeding. At least Adik Adam sihat dengan mommy. Thinking that we almost lost you made me appreciate your presence more. Jadi nangis lah lagi sayang, mommy ada nak menyediakan 'pacifier' semula jadi yang adik Adam suka sangat ni...
Baby boy orang kata jangan bagi nangis banyak sangat. Nanti sakit pasang. Hernia. With Azuechry pun pernah ada history hernia operation, mommy pun malas nak bagi Adik Adam nangis lama lama. Tapi bila mommy pun dah dekat dua jam mengendong, menyusu, mommy pun naik pening dah niii...
But reading the blog by Sharulniza, at http://mayyonnizz.blogspot.com , made mommy aware that i am thankful to be given that 2 hours of non stop rocking-feeding-rocking-singing-feeding. At least Adik Adam sihat dengan mommy. Thinking that we almost lost you made me appreciate your presence more. Jadi nangis lah lagi sayang, mommy ada nak menyediakan 'pacifier' semula jadi yang adik Adam suka sangat ni...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Cerita Maid Aku dan Isteri Penghulu Yang Terlampau..
My maid has been telling me that she would want to have a one month off toward end of the year. So it puzzled us when she asked to go back in May. I mean, my EDD is in May, it is the most important month of the year, why leave us? But we gave her the benefit of doubt when she said that there were troubles at home. She also had stopped asking me whether she’ll get a payrise once the new baby is born.
Her flight back here was on June 2nd. Two days before that she called up saying that she wouldn’t be coming back since the husband has just been hospitalized. We gulped the news in. I was still hoping and berangan that all these are just dreams and she’ll be on that flight coming back. At last we allowed her another two weeks leave.
A week after that, when we know that the husband has been discharged, we wanted to call her up to talk about the flight arrangement. We couldn’t get her and several times, the husband said she was out.
I was napping around 4 yesterday when she called me up. Crying. I really thought the husband is dead. So dengan perasaan sedihnya aku bertanya whether the husband is okay. She said okay. Then she said she is already here in Malaysia. That she is working with someone who has loaned her money (of RM2,500). I worried that she borrowed monies from along and she is forced to work in a ‘bad place’. You keje dengan China ke? You keje tempat tak elok ke? Diorang pukul you ke? Are you okay? Itulah ayat ayat kerisauan seorang employer terhadap maidnya.
Then she said a neighbor of mine. That neighbor of mine is the wife of the pengerusi persatuan penduduk my section, kira macam penghulu. My maid was sent to her daughter in Cheras.
I was like, what? Bukannya neighbor aku tu tak Nampak I was carrying this bump in my tummy, and know that I could deliver any time. With a little baby and another two kids, I would greatly need the maid’s help around. And she does what? Steal my maid away to be given to her daughter who apparently is NOT pregnant.
My maid I think was feeling very very guilty to me, compounded to the fact that her Cheras employer doesn’t allow her to mix around with the persatuan bibik bibik di taman itu, seperti aku yang baik hati ini. She confessed everything to me but her story kept changing. I didn’t believe 100% of her story but I didn’t have to listen more to know the real truth.
My neighbor, yang patutnya menjadi the most respected elderly, KakPuteri (bukan nama sebenar) had lured her into borrowing monies from her, persuaded my desperate-for-money maid to go back in May, coming back here and work for her daughter. They knew very well that it was the Man’s name in the Permit to Work yang laki aku baru renew few months ago and will be valid until end of the year.
Yang maid aku pun bodoh, tak de saving nak balik buat ape? What to eat there? Aku la macam orang bodoh hari tu advancekan gaji dia satu bulan supaya she has some monies to spare. Idiot, rupa rupanya she had RM2,500 to spend and berjoli sakan while me here, while eating any good meal, teringat ingat lah ape yang dia makan agaknya kat kampong Indon tu.. The RM2,500 was given in return that my maid, upon her return must first lie to us saying that she cannot come back, second call KakPuteri to go and pick her up dekat LCCT (return ticket booked by us tapi seb baik guna duit my maid) and three go to work at KakPuteri’s daughter’s house. After few days, finding out that the daughter is not as kind as me, (uwek), dia sudah rasa bersalah, calling me back menangis nangis. I accepted her back, for the sake of the kids (and ketidaktahan melihat unwashed dishes in the sink and unironed shirts). She confronted the new employer, who then conveniently chased her away from the house, and took a cab to Bangi.
After she is safely home with us, lots of calls coming in. Apparently KakPUteri wants her monies back. Dekat phone aku pun there were like three missed calls from an unknown numbers. I didn’t pick up. Strategizing with the Man on what to say. We decided to put on hold any action until this weekend. I mean, we were cheated and were so much in anger, any action done can damage the relationship and peace of the neighborhood.
The next day, KakPuteri came to see me. Tak bagi salam, terus masuk pagar rumah aku. She called out my maid, scolding her not picking up the phone. Pastu , eh ini lagi best kalau aku buat script untuk tatapan korang. Macam ni eh;
Me: Kenapa KakPuteri?
Her: tak de le, akak nak duit akak balik.
Me: Kakputeri pun tahu mana la bibik saya ada duit banyak itu. Gaji dia pun atas sikit dari RM500. RM500 je lah dia boleh bayar kat akak skrg ni.
Her: Abih tu, kalau dia tak boleh bayar, kenapa dia pinjam duit akak dulu?
Me: (innocently, oh my face must have looked so sweet at that time) La.. abih tu , kenapa Kakputeri bagi dia pinjam banyak tu skali?
Her: (Terkedu) dah lah. Yang dah lepas kakputeri tak mau cakap dah..
(aku menjemputnya masuk di kala ini, dan duduk di depan tv sambil Anna menonton SnowWhite bab Snow White suruh the dwarfs pergi basuh tangan)
Her: Kamu tak boleh ke bayarkan untuk dia?
Me: (in my head, ‘bukan aku yang berhutang ngan kau, silly’, tetapi di mulut, yang terkeluar adalah: ) saya dan suami dah berbincang, kami tak de ape nak pegang dia kalau bayarkan penuh. Kami berbincang, jalan terbaik potong gaji dia tiap tiap bulan. 29th tiap tiap bulan dia dapat gaji, kami akan bagi dia cash untuk dia bayar kakputeri. RM500 sebulan, 5 bulan habis lah hutang dia kat kakputeri.
Her: Mana boleh. AKak bagi dia penuh, dia bayar bulan bulan.
Me: Akak boleh charge interest pun kalau akak nak. (was about to suggest klibor rate at the day of negotiation, ataupun bank Negara rate, tak pun maybank rate)
Her: Eih tak de le akak nak charge charge bunga ni. Berdosa. Kamu takkan tak de duit nak bayarkan dia? Akak nak pakai duit ni bulan ni. RM1000 pun jadilah.
Me: Kalau saya ada duit pun saya tak kan bayar kak. Apa saya nak pegang dia lepas ni? Kalau saya bayarkan, esok dia lari macammana?
Her: Kamu pegang le passport dia.
Me: La. Passport tu, kaalu dia nak lari, dia lari je tinggalkan passport dia. Nak nak kalau ada orang memang dah nak gajikan dia. (cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical, tetapi dia tetap mati kering tidak mengakui kesalahannya… aduhai geramnya saya)
Her: Itule kamu, gaji tu rendah sangat . Dia dah dua tahun tu, boring la tu kalau gaji rendah.
Me: Nak buat camne kakputeri, itu je yang saya mampu gajikan dia. (at this time I was paying her RM550 per month, dengan janji nak naikkan gaji bila baby baru ada). Kalau dia dapat offer lagi bagus, saya tak boleh nak halaang dia pergi. Cuma kena cakap le kat saya kan, sebab dalam passport tu nama husband saya tertulis sebagai employer. Ada enam bulan lagi permit dia tu nak tamat. Apa apa jadi kat dia, husband saya kena bertanggungjawab.
Her: (Diam. Tidak mampu berkata ape)
Me: Kami kena ada cash kakputeri. ANak saya baru tiga minggu. Dua orang lagi kakak ngan abang tu kecik lagi, tak leh kalau tak ada maid. Kalau maid saya lari (masih cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical dikala ini, oh aku orang yang baik uwek!), kalau maid saya lari lagi, memula kami kena pergi immigration nak apply maid baru, kena bayar denda RM2,500 .. pastu nak apply yang baru mau lima enam ribu abiss, pastu bukan waktu tu jugak boleh dapat, bebudak ni kena la antar nursery sana day care sini, dah berapa ratus dah abis.
Her: (Long silence). Iye, iye, kakputeri tahu semua process process tu. (dalam hati aku, dah tahu process apapasal tak apply maid ikut tatacara yang betul, nak pakai ambik je maid aku yang permitnye masih valid). Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak de?
Me: Kak Puteri, kalau saya ada pun, saya tak boleh nak bayarkan.. (tersenyum panjang, tanda menghormati)
Her: Tak de le. Kita ni kumpul duit , masuk dalam saving account, tetiba je hilang macam tu saja.
Me: Ha’ah kakputeri. Saya paham. Kita kerja teruk teruk , balik rumah malam baru jumpa anak, kumpul duit, tetiba je sedebuk hilang gitu je kan duit kita. Masa nak ambik dia dulu pun 4 5 ribu jugak hilang macam tu je. Hujung hujung tahun nak renew permit dia dekat seribu ha habis… sedebuk je, kumpul bulan bulan, hilang macam tu je kan.. saya paham kakputeri (abih tu, kau senang senang nak ambik maid aku tak paham paham lagi?!)
Her: (masih diam)
Me: Saya minta maaf lah mende ni jadi kat kakputeri. Mesti menyusahkan kakputeri, kan. (kau tu yang lagi banyak nak menyusahkan aku). Saya dengan suami pun tak tahu macammana nak tolong kakputeri. Semalam kami dah Tanya pendapat immigration, police semua. Indonesian embassy je masih belum kami Tanya pendapat. Nanti saya nak tanyakan lawyer saya yang based dia kat Jakarta nanti, ape nak buat. Perlu ke nak lodge report supaya ada bukti dia pernah lari? Kami ingat sabtu ni lah nak gi jumpa kak puteri dan cikgubedul (bukan nama sebenar) nak explain yang maid kami memang tak de duit banyak gitu nak bayar. Yang mampu dia bayar bulan bulan je..
Her: Tak payah. Cikgubedul kata dari dulu dia tak nak masuk campur hal ni.
Her: Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak boleh bayar.
Me: (senyum).
Her: Okaylah kak puteri balik dulu. Kamu bersiap ni nak gi mana?
Me: Oh nak gi kedai depan jap beli mee kuning, sat gi tengahari lawyer Indonesia tu nak dataang, takde pe nak jamu.
Her: (keluar rumah aku lepas salam ngan maklagn aku)
I tot I missed out all the fun negotiating at work, but this is indeed, much fun! Hahaha… My maid came running to me after that, I just told her that if she needs to go for a better offer, I understand, but please inform us earlier. Sian anak anak aku. Berdrama kejap lah aku. Dia pun menangis nangis, si ajin and yati akan cakap ini air mata crocodile.
For now, I’m having fun leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink. But I know that trust I must not to this maid of mine.
Kepada Allah aku berserah, Kau maha Penentu, pada tangan Kau aku serahkan nasib anak anak aku dan harta bende aku. Maka peliharalah anak-anak aku dan bumbung tempat kami berteduh. Sesungguhnya kau lah maha Memelihara. Itu memang doa aku pagi pagi masa pandang muka maid aku tutupkan pagar masa aku start kereta nak pi kerja. Itulah doa aku yang akan dataang.
So, ape pendapat korang?
Her flight back here was on June 2nd. Two days before that she called up saying that she wouldn’t be coming back since the husband has just been hospitalized. We gulped the news in. I was still hoping and berangan that all these are just dreams and she’ll be on that flight coming back. At last we allowed her another two weeks leave.
A week after that, when we know that the husband has been discharged, we wanted to call her up to talk about the flight arrangement. We couldn’t get her and several times, the husband said she was out.
I was napping around 4 yesterday when she called me up. Crying. I really thought the husband is dead. So dengan perasaan sedihnya aku bertanya whether the husband is okay. She said okay. Then she said she is already here in Malaysia. That she is working with someone who has loaned her money (of RM2,500). I worried that she borrowed monies from along and she is forced to work in a ‘bad place’. You keje dengan China ke? You keje tempat tak elok ke? Diorang pukul you ke? Are you okay? Itulah ayat ayat kerisauan seorang employer terhadap maidnya.
Then she said a neighbor of mine. That neighbor of mine is the wife of the pengerusi persatuan penduduk my section, kira macam penghulu. My maid was sent to her daughter in Cheras.
I was like, what? Bukannya neighbor aku tu tak Nampak I was carrying this bump in my tummy, and know that I could deliver any time. With a little baby and another two kids, I would greatly need the maid’s help around. And she does what? Steal my maid away to be given to her daughter who apparently is NOT pregnant.
My maid I think was feeling very very guilty to me, compounded to the fact that her Cheras employer doesn’t allow her to mix around with the persatuan bibik bibik di taman itu, seperti aku yang baik hati ini. She confessed everything to me but her story kept changing. I didn’t believe 100% of her story but I didn’t have to listen more to know the real truth.
My neighbor, yang patutnya menjadi the most respected elderly, KakPuteri (bukan nama sebenar) had lured her into borrowing monies from her, persuaded my desperate-for-money maid to go back in May, coming back here and work for her daughter. They knew very well that it was the Man’s name in the Permit to Work yang laki aku baru renew few months ago and will be valid until end of the year.
Yang maid aku pun bodoh, tak de saving nak balik buat ape? What to eat there? Aku la macam orang bodoh hari tu advancekan gaji dia satu bulan supaya she has some monies to spare. Idiot, rupa rupanya she had RM2,500 to spend and berjoli sakan while me here, while eating any good meal, teringat ingat lah ape yang dia makan agaknya kat kampong Indon tu.. The RM2,500 was given in return that my maid, upon her return must first lie to us saying that she cannot come back, second call KakPuteri to go and pick her up dekat LCCT (return ticket booked by us tapi seb baik guna duit my maid) and three go to work at KakPuteri’s daughter’s house. After few days, finding out that the daughter is not as kind as me, (uwek), dia sudah rasa bersalah, calling me back menangis nangis. I accepted her back, for the sake of the kids (and ketidaktahan melihat unwashed dishes in the sink and unironed shirts). She confronted the new employer, who then conveniently chased her away from the house, and took a cab to Bangi.
After she is safely home with us, lots of calls coming in. Apparently KakPUteri wants her monies back. Dekat phone aku pun there were like three missed calls from an unknown numbers. I didn’t pick up. Strategizing with the Man on what to say. We decided to put on hold any action until this weekend. I mean, we were cheated and were so much in anger, any action done can damage the relationship and peace of the neighborhood.
The next day, KakPuteri came to see me. Tak bagi salam, terus masuk pagar rumah aku. She called out my maid, scolding her not picking up the phone. Pastu , eh ini lagi best kalau aku buat script untuk tatapan korang. Macam ni eh;
Me: Kenapa KakPuteri?
Her: tak de le, akak nak duit akak balik.
Me: Kakputeri pun tahu mana la bibik saya ada duit banyak itu. Gaji dia pun atas sikit dari RM500. RM500 je lah dia boleh bayar kat akak skrg ni.
Her: Abih tu, kalau dia tak boleh bayar, kenapa dia pinjam duit akak dulu?
Me: (innocently, oh my face must have looked so sweet at that time) La.. abih tu , kenapa Kakputeri bagi dia pinjam banyak tu skali?
Her: (Terkedu) dah lah. Yang dah lepas kakputeri tak mau cakap dah..
(aku menjemputnya masuk di kala ini, dan duduk di depan tv sambil Anna menonton SnowWhite bab Snow White suruh the dwarfs pergi basuh tangan)
Her: Kamu tak boleh ke bayarkan untuk dia?
Me: (in my head, ‘bukan aku yang berhutang ngan kau, silly’, tetapi di mulut, yang terkeluar adalah: ) saya dan suami dah berbincang, kami tak de ape nak pegang dia kalau bayarkan penuh. Kami berbincang, jalan terbaik potong gaji dia tiap tiap bulan. 29th tiap tiap bulan dia dapat gaji, kami akan bagi dia cash untuk dia bayar kakputeri. RM500 sebulan, 5 bulan habis lah hutang dia kat kakputeri.
Her: Mana boleh. AKak bagi dia penuh, dia bayar bulan bulan.
Me: Akak boleh charge interest pun kalau akak nak. (was about to suggest klibor rate at the day of negotiation, ataupun bank Negara rate, tak pun maybank rate)
Her: Eih tak de le akak nak charge charge bunga ni. Berdosa. Kamu takkan tak de duit nak bayarkan dia? Akak nak pakai duit ni bulan ni. RM1000 pun jadilah.
Me: Kalau saya ada duit pun saya tak kan bayar kak. Apa saya nak pegang dia lepas ni? Kalau saya bayarkan, esok dia lari macammana?
Her: Kamu pegang le passport dia.
Me: La. Passport tu, kaalu dia nak lari, dia lari je tinggalkan passport dia. Nak nak kalau ada orang memang dah nak gajikan dia. (cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical, tetapi dia tetap mati kering tidak mengakui kesalahannya… aduhai geramnya saya)
Her: Itule kamu, gaji tu rendah sangat . Dia dah dua tahun tu, boring la tu kalau gaji rendah.
Me: Nak buat camne kakputeri, itu je yang saya mampu gajikan dia. (at this time I was paying her RM550 per month, dengan janji nak naikkan gaji bila baby baru ada). Kalau dia dapat offer lagi bagus, saya tak boleh nak halaang dia pergi. Cuma kena cakap le kat saya kan, sebab dalam passport tu nama husband saya tertulis sebagai employer. Ada enam bulan lagi permit dia tu nak tamat. Apa apa jadi kat dia, husband saya kena bertanggungjawab.
Her: (Diam. Tidak mampu berkata ape)
Me: Kami kena ada cash kakputeri. ANak saya baru tiga minggu. Dua orang lagi kakak ngan abang tu kecik lagi, tak leh kalau tak ada maid. Kalau maid saya lari (masih cuba untuk tidak menjadi cynical dikala ini, oh aku orang yang baik uwek!), kalau maid saya lari lagi, memula kami kena pergi immigration nak apply maid baru, kena bayar denda RM2,500 .. pastu nak apply yang baru mau lima enam ribu abiss, pastu bukan waktu tu jugak boleh dapat, bebudak ni kena la antar nursery sana day care sini, dah berapa ratus dah abis.
Her: (Long silence). Iye, iye, kakputeri tahu semua process process tu. (dalam hati aku, dah tahu process apapasal tak apply maid ikut tatacara yang betul, nak pakai ambik je maid aku yang permitnye masih valid). Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak de?
Me: Kak Puteri, kalau saya ada pun, saya tak boleh nak bayarkan.. (tersenyum panjang, tanda menghormati)
Her: Tak de le. Kita ni kumpul duit , masuk dalam saving account, tetiba je hilang macam tu saja.
Me: Ha’ah kakputeri. Saya paham. Kita kerja teruk teruk , balik rumah malam baru jumpa anak, kumpul duit, tetiba je sedebuk hilang gitu je kan duit kita. Masa nak ambik dia dulu pun 4 5 ribu jugak hilang macam tu je. Hujung hujung tahun nak renew permit dia dekat seribu ha habis… sedebuk je, kumpul bulan bulan, hilang macam tu je kan.. saya paham kakputeri (abih tu, kau senang senang nak ambik maid aku tak paham paham lagi?!)
Her: (masih diam)
Me: Saya minta maaf lah mende ni jadi kat kakputeri. Mesti menyusahkan kakputeri, kan. (kau tu yang lagi banyak nak menyusahkan aku). Saya dengan suami pun tak tahu macammana nak tolong kakputeri. Semalam kami dah Tanya pendapat immigration, police semua. Indonesian embassy je masih belum kami Tanya pendapat. Nanti saya nak tanyakan lawyer saya yang based dia kat Jakarta nanti, ape nak buat. Perlu ke nak lodge report supaya ada bukti dia pernah lari? Kami ingat sabtu ni lah nak gi jumpa kak puteri dan cikgubedul (bukan nama sebenar) nak explain yang maid kami memang tak de duit banyak gitu nak bayar. Yang mampu dia bayar bulan bulan je..
Her: Tak payah. Cikgubedul kata dari dulu dia tak nak masuk campur hal ni.
Her: Takkan Rm1000 pun kamu tak boleh bayar.
Me: (senyum).
Her: Okaylah kak puteri balik dulu. Kamu bersiap ni nak gi mana?
Me: Oh nak gi kedai depan jap beli mee kuning, sat gi tengahari lawyer Indonesia tu nak dataang, takde pe nak jamu.
Her: (keluar rumah aku lepas salam ngan maklagn aku)
I tot I missed out all the fun negotiating at work, but this is indeed, much fun! Hahaha… My maid came running to me after that, I just told her that if she needs to go for a better offer, I understand, but please inform us earlier. Sian anak anak aku. Berdrama kejap lah aku. Dia pun menangis nangis, si ajin and yati akan cakap ini air mata crocodile.
For now, I’m having fun leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink. But I know that trust I must not to this maid of mine.
Kepada Allah aku berserah, Kau maha Penentu, pada tangan Kau aku serahkan nasib anak anak aku dan harta bende aku. Maka peliharalah anak-anak aku dan bumbung tempat kami berteduh. Sesungguhnya kau lah maha Memelihara. Itu memang doa aku pagi pagi masa pandang muka maid aku tutupkan pagar masa aku start kereta nak pi kerja. Itulah doa aku yang akan dataang.
So, ape pendapat korang?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
the labor story. the final labor story.
I owe you BIG.. The story of my labor. .Without induction. Without epidural the drug.
I am not against epidural. In fact I believe it is a wonderful creation kinda drug to calm down the moms which also means calming the baby. But one, I was itched to know how the real labor is and two, I want to eat my pain killer right away after the labor. Taking the epidural means you can only take something orally (food, water, anything) two hours after they have taken the epidural and the pain of the womb contracting AFTER Labor (they called it Rengat in Malay) is something that I couldn’t take, therefore having the epidural off means I could deal with the Rengat (hopefully) easily after the labor.
So I bled in the morning of Monday. Blood is always my show. I had it for both Azeuchry and Anna, and went into the labor room straight away. This time, I waited until late in the afternoon, until the Man finished his first day of bowling tournament organized by the Headquarters. (Two B I have hated : the Badminton and the Bowling). It is a big tournament, involving the five regions held biannual, so it is important for him, right, right, right? (Seperti biasa, akulah isteri yang memahami dan paling best di Dunia, uwek)
So we went in to the labor room in the late afternoon, stopped Dr Delaila from going home and asked her to poke me. It happened that it was only 1 cm. (it it always 1 cm when the blood come out, it was 1cm too for Anna and Azeuchry). I asked to go home, told her straight in the face that I am trying to do this one without being induced and without epidural. She nodded. Weird she didn’t give me that option during my first two. Kenapa ya.. mengingatkan aku pada grey’s anatomy where all surgeons are trying to defy the gravity, the rules of God. Haha..
So we went home, sempat lagi pergi singgah kedai perabot nak book new shoe rack menggantikan shoe rack aku yang dah tertonggeng, screamed happily seeing the kids faces and slept through the night hugging Anna and savoring the thick memory foam mattress feeling, knowing that my nights after that night will never be the same hahaks.
My first contraction started at around 12 midnight. Sharp pain behind and lenguh lenguh kaki. It was like once in one hour time. Mild. Manageable. Come subuh it was already once in 30 minutes. I remember to time myself and to breathe deeply everytime the contraction comes. ‘Facebook’ed asking around how exactly the contraction feels. Why mine hurting my back more than my tummy? And you will ask, “dan ini anak ketiga kau?” Haha..
Tried to sleep in between the contraction. It kinda went away around 10 in the morning. Then around noon, it was like once in twenty minutes. That it went quietly, nada, none, from 3 – 4. The Man was back, feverish, after two-days of bowling. He went to the clinic. At around 3, he called said that the clinic wanted to ward him for the fever might be dengue. He requested for iV Drip and that would take two hours. At around 5, my contraction is around 10 minutes duration. I was panicking between remembering to breathe deeply, to look at the watch to time myself and to recite some Zikr. He came back around 5:30, sempat lagi tu mengecheck emailnya kat PC nya, I was trying very hard to stay calm. HE went solat, and off to SJMC we went.
By the time I got into the car, at around 6:30, the contraction is around 8 – 10 minutes, at times it was 5 minutes per. He sped through the Sungai Besi tolls, and took NPE, just to be caught in the flowing traffic from kL going to kuchai lama and/or sungai besi town. It was 7 o’clock and I recited syahadah non stop, the pain somehow eased off when the Man was busy maneuvering the traffic. We were about 45 minutes stucked at the head of NPE.
We finally reached SJMC around 7:50 and a big contraction came in as I wanted to go out from the car. A lady offered the wheel chair but I don’t think sitting would help. Tried to walk calmly to the labor room at Fourth Floor while the Man went and parked the car. A guy asked whether I was okay in the lift and I said, holding on with a big smile to him. His wife might already be in the labor room. My eyes searched for a mid-wife, finding one, handed her over my appointment card and said, “every 5 minutes now”. She shoved me in, checked me out and said, ‘8 cm already’. No time for epidural. That was a relief.
Quickly told her that I was strep B positive before and got a shot of antibiotic. Was taught to use the gas mask. Doctor came to get the water broken and went out. Then the contraction frequency is uncounted. I inhaled the gas deeply everytime it came. It was not bad. I have been praying for a fast and easy labor, hoped so hard it was given to me. Then the doctor came. They asked me to push hard, this time without the gas, just to break the 9cm to10cm. Then I could feel the bulging feeling. Then another push, came out the head. I could not take any break anymore, since the bulging feeling is naturally force my body to push the baby out. The third and final push, the whole body came out and the bulging feeling is gone. (oh yea while I was still hoping it was a girl, the first thing that was flashed to me was his testis) There I was thanking God for the fast and relatively easy labor, the most importantly the baby was safe. The doctor asked me for the final push, which was not painful, to take the placenta out. The Man was asked to cut the cord, and finally, my baby boy was taken away from me, from a life hanging to mommy’s womb. My baby boy was free. And he was free safely.
While the Man snapped the baby’s picture away when the nurses cleaned him up and azan to his little crumpled ear, the doctor and my midwife was busy pushing lots of blood clots from my tummy. They squeezed my tummy hard, I could feel lumps of solid coming out. She finally stitched me and again, found out that the lumps keep coming out. Again they squeezed my tummy. When they took me down to my room, I found out that the lumps were still coming out heavily and again, the nurse squeezed and massaged my tummy downwards. At first I was like, sakit la you idiot, then I was like, get me my pain killer. Gulped down a big glass of Milo and then the two ponstan tablet. My ‘tumpah darah’ was not that bad, but told the Man, this is our final final. Period. Feverish body later that night. Compounded by the cold a/c, I had sleepless night.
The pead monitored the boy for three nights, since the Strep B virus might be giving him effect but it didn’t. Get him circumcised on Day 2. He started latching properly on Day 3. The Man was with me. The first night he was a hero, The second night he was whimpering and whinning in his sleep, the third night he went back home and finally I had a peaceful night. He came picking us up, got the bills and off to home!
The two kids back home were not allowed to the Hospital, so they were so happy seeing mom’s face. Azeuchry kept asking me about the new baby everytime I called home.
That was 25 days ago and mom finally regain the strength and faced the PC again. He was named on 14th Day. Adam Zulqarnain. The first man on earth and a leader’s name. the cord stump dropped at Day 17 and the ring over the little penis on Day 16. The Man bathed him and once he started working, I took over. It was awkward at first but I got the hang of it by Day 8 or 9 I think. Haha.
I am not against epidural. In fact I believe it is a wonderful creation kinda drug to calm down the moms which also means calming the baby. But one, I was itched to know how the real labor is and two, I want to eat my pain killer right away after the labor. Taking the epidural means you can only take something orally (food, water, anything) two hours after they have taken the epidural and the pain of the womb contracting AFTER Labor (they called it Rengat in Malay) is something that I couldn’t take, therefore having the epidural off means I could deal with the Rengat (hopefully) easily after the labor.
So I bled in the morning of Monday. Blood is always my show. I had it for both Azeuchry and Anna, and went into the labor room straight away. This time, I waited until late in the afternoon, until the Man finished his first day of bowling tournament organized by the Headquarters. (Two B I have hated : the Badminton and the Bowling). It is a big tournament, involving the five regions held biannual, so it is important for him, right, right, right? (Seperti biasa, akulah isteri yang memahami dan paling best di Dunia, uwek)
So we went in to the labor room in the late afternoon, stopped Dr Delaila from going home and asked her to poke me. It happened that it was only 1 cm. (it it always 1 cm when the blood come out, it was 1cm too for Anna and Azeuchry). I asked to go home, told her straight in the face that I am trying to do this one without being induced and without epidural. She nodded. Weird she didn’t give me that option during my first two. Kenapa ya.. mengingatkan aku pada grey’s anatomy where all surgeons are trying to defy the gravity, the rules of God. Haha..
So we went home, sempat lagi pergi singgah kedai perabot nak book new shoe rack menggantikan shoe rack aku yang dah tertonggeng, screamed happily seeing the kids faces and slept through the night hugging Anna and savoring the thick memory foam mattress feeling, knowing that my nights after that night will never be the same hahaks.
My first contraction started at around 12 midnight. Sharp pain behind and lenguh lenguh kaki. It was like once in one hour time. Mild. Manageable. Come subuh it was already once in 30 minutes. I remember to time myself and to breathe deeply everytime the contraction comes. ‘Facebook’ed asking around how exactly the contraction feels. Why mine hurting my back more than my tummy? And you will ask, “dan ini anak ketiga kau?” Haha..
Tried to sleep in between the contraction. It kinda went away around 10 in the morning. Then around noon, it was like once in twenty minutes. That it went quietly, nada, none, from 3 – 4. The Man was back, feverish, after two-days of bowling. He went to the clinic. At around 3, he called said that the clinic wanted to ward him for the fever might be dengue. He requested for iV Drip and that would take two hours. At around 5, my contraction is around 10 minutes duration. I was panicking between remembering to breathe deeply, to look at the watch to time myself and to recite some Zikr. He came back around 5:30, sempat lagi tu mengecheck emailnya kat PC nya, I was trying very hard to stay calm. HE went solat, and off to SJMC we went.
By the time I got into the car, at around 6:30, the contraction is around 8 – 10 minutes, at times it was 5 minutes per. He sped through the Sungai Besi tolls, and took NPE, just to be caught in the flowing traffic from kL going to kuchai lama and/or sungai besi town. It was 7 o’clock and I recited syahadah non stop, the pain somehow eased off when the Man was busy maneuvering the traffic. We were about 45 minutes stucked at the head of NPE.
We finally reached SJMC around 7:50 and a big contraction came in as I wanted to go out from the car. A lady offered the wheel chair but I don’t think sitting would help. Tried to walk calmly to the labor room at Fourth Floor while the Man went and parked the car. A guy asked whether I was okay in the lift and I said, holding on with a big smile to him. His wife might already be in the labor room. My eyes searched for a mid-wife, finding one, handed her over my appointment card and said, “every 5 minutes now”. She shoved me in, checked me out and said, ‘8 cm already’. No time for epidural. That was a relief.
Quickly told her that I was strep B positive before and got a shot of antibiotic. Was taught to use the gas mask. Doctor came to get the water broken and went out. Then the contraction frequency is uncounted. I inhaled the gas deeply everytime it came. It was not bad. I have been praying for a fast and easy labor, hoped so hard it was given to me. Then the doctor came. They asked me to push hard, this time without the gas, just to break the 9cm to10cm. Then I could feel the bulging feeling. Then another push, came out the head. I could not take any break anymore, since the bulging feeling is naturally force my body to push the baby out. The third and final push, the whole body came out and the bulging feeling is gone. (oh yea while I was still hoping it was a girl, the first thing that was flashed to me was his testis) There I was thanking God for the fast and relatively easy labor, the most importantly the baby was safe. The doctor asked me for the final push, which was not painful, to take the placenta out. The Man was asked to cut the cord, and finally, my baby boy was taken away from me, from a life hanging to mommy’s womb. My baby boy was free. And he was free safely.
While the Man snapped the baby’s picture away when the nurses cleaned him up and azan to his little crumpled ear, the doctor and my midwife was busy pushing lots of blood clots from my tummy. They squeezed my tummy hard, I could feel lumps of solid coming out. She finally stitched me and again, found out that the lumps keep coming out. Again they squeezed my tummy. When they took me down to my room, I found out that the lumps were still coming out heavily and again, the nurse squeezed and massaged my tummy downwards. At first I was like, sakit la you idiot, then I was like, get me my pain killer. Gulped down a big glass of Milo and then the two ponstan tablet. My ‘tumpah darah’ was not that bad, but told the Man, this is our final final. Period. Feverish body later that night. Compounded by the cold a/c, I had sleepless night.
The pead monitored the boy for three nights, since the Strep B virus might be giving him effect but it didn’t. Get him circumcised on Day 2. He started latching properly on Day 3. The Man was with me. The first night he was a hero, The second night he was whimpering and whinning in his sleep, the third night he went back home and finally I had a peaceful night. He came picking us up, got the bills and off to home!
The two kids back home were not allowed to the Hospital, so they were so happy seeing mom’s face. Azeuchry kept asking me about the new baby everytime I called home.
That was 25 days ago and mom finally regain the strength and faced the PC again. He was named on 14th Day. Adam Zulqarnain. The first man on earth and a leader’s name. the cord stump dropped at Day 17 and the ring over the little penis on Day 16. The Man bathed him and once he started working, I took over. It was awkward at first but I got the hang of it by Day 8 or 9 I think. Haha.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
day 21
weight now 60 kg.
Weight before labor 72kg
Lost 10kg during labor i think
Weight week 1 : 62 kg
Weight before labor 72kg
Lost 10kg during labor i think
Weight week 1 : 62 kg
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