Do I Have That Kind of Friends?

Two of my friends have been investigated by the Internal Affairs Department, of a thing that were forced on them, and of course, they didn't back their back quite well. Therefore, they have received the letters on the charges, and the proceeding for such have been set. The letters were received three weeks before the real Domesti Inquiry happen, and the inquiry is very much the same like any proceeding in a court. two sides, with prosecutors and defences calling up witnesses to examine, cross examine and re-examine. Fooh...! Sounds seriously unknown.
Upon receipt of that letter, we have been scurrying around , looking for evidences, 'lawyer' to defend, procedures and all shits of things. First we know nothing about the procedures. Some of us don't even have the procedure of discpline booklet. Then we must look for the guy to act as the defend lawyer. Since all the Union people went for a yearly retreat, we had to scourge the ones left around. (brilliant, isn't it! finding a time where the Union people is gone to do the Inquiry)
We did n't have the strategies. Then we fought over how to go about it.
I practically breathe throught their charges day and night, to find whether there are loopholes in technicalities, see whether they can win.
We also took leave to work on the defense strategy. We spent weekends to discuss.
Since one of the friends is not an Union member, the defend lawyer gotta take leave durign proceedings which can take up to 20 days.

It hit me hard. Do I have a friend that will take leave just to defend me? Do I have a friend who will drop everything that he does just to come and help me?


Clipperseep is listening to:
Clipperseep has read the headline today:
Moment of day:

Bad, Bad Girl!

So I have not been a good girl.

I popped in Ponstan almost every other day during my period. It's been bad. The cold hit me. The walking hit me too

I drink coffee almost everynight to stay awake after putting Junior to bed. And I did that just to believe it or not, read !!

I made the Man looked after the Junior 2 hours while I Shop at Sunway. Despite the curses thrown silently to the woman I saw the other day giving her 2 months old (sleeping two months old!) to the husband while she went to roam Jusco. Worse still it was actually window shopping. I didn't buy anything for the 2 hours he had to put up with the boy and me feeling guilty, grabbed two pairs of wacoal. Anyways.

My Master card balance had also been left unmonitored .this morning when I checked it is RM43O something ! After the RM one thousand of settlement I sometimes wonder when is this going to end- (it's when u stop swiping u silly)

I also had been a silent bitch with the mother in law. Aftershe refused tv look after Junior for a mere 3 hours I pretend to be really mad at her. I plan not to sleep over hers for at least 6 months, bad girl ain't I?

Brokeback Mountain

Finished seeing the most talked about Brokeback Mountain.

If you see it with a pre judgment, you won't get to enjoy the real juice of the movie . If sex is what you want to see, I am sorry, it's not the kind o ffmovie that will satisfy your appetite.

*oh bythe way, this is tyyped using the pda bluetooth keyboard*

I would interpret the movie in a way that I like. For me it is more like a story of a forbidden love....one is so into living the life, going all out for love.. Another one is in denial, trying to love in secret , feeling guilty to himself, to the family and to God eventually.

I asked the man what he remembered most about Brokeback Mountain. Answered the sex part. I guess for a serious thinker, that’s what u'd answered. Nottin wrong. But to me, this is the scene.

Ennis is leaving for the night and there was Jack, standing idly, fiddling with his toes, feeling sad, the kinda merajuk sad. Ennis came by from behind and softly said,

“Hey you would end up sleeping standing like a horse. That's what my mom used o say. And she used to sing me this song”

Humming softly Ennis put a smile back on Jack's face. He rode his horse away and said I see you I the morning.

I think that's romantic.

I also believe that in a gay couple , there is always the softer partner. Jack is one. While these two can fight, smoke, swear, rodeo, have kids but there is one who needs sheltering and one who tends to protect. I feel we should respect that.

While I am trying to live my life not judging (hey even He waits to the judgment day to judge) I agree that it is not appropriate to be allowed a screening Malaysia (They did not, did they?) I still believe that its not easy to prove that you love God more than the worldly possession and screening it would only encourage those who confused about the sexuality made to believe that they are left with no choice but to face t that they are gays.

God I had so much to write and words just don’t come outright.... Go watch broke back mountain, watch it with open heart and open mind.

Right Cause, Wrong Battle.

Just called kampong and there’s this sharp pain in my tummy and I just have to blog right away.

My dad, after his retirement, has chosen to live a very simple life. He spent mornings in the lands he purchased which he hopes to be our, the children, durians orchards. He came back home for lunch, and spent late afternoon around the house or at the future durian orchards. He spent Maghrib and Isyak in the old surau nearby and came home for dinner, watching F1 or football or currently AF. Except, for certain days, he and his best friend, Pak Cik Mat Som, will go out, sometimes near or far, driving the kereta jenazah to take some bodies back to our small little Lenggong.

The kereta jenazah is actually his prerogative. He worked on the Body to work on the Fund (something named Badan Khairat Kematian and Kebajikan Surau Kampung Masjid Lama Lenggong or something like that), getting the Body regularized and finally get the Fund worked out. We managed to raise some money after a few years, and he managed to secure a second hand ambulance from Hospital Kuala Kangsar. The vehicle somehow, broke down a lot, we spent more money on the maintenance. Until one day, the Tabung Haji big shot passed by the Surau, saw the kampong boys were pushing the dead kereta jenazah, of course without any body in! We then got a brand new vehicle from the Tabung Haji.

So, this is not about my dad.

My dad, at his recent trip, had been to a place further, to pick up a body from a Prison whom had just received his death sentence. If you remember, six years ago, there was this big news about al-Maunah, who took over a school over a hill and killed two people, having in their possession a mountain of army guns. These were people trained in Afghanistan, who fought in the name of God. I’m not denying any injustice or justice done to them. I just believe that it is a Battle with a good-cause but chosen at the wrong place, wrong time and wrong enemy. Wonder how big could they be a help at Labenon, fighting the Israelis, should they be still alive.

Amin, or late Amin shall I say, was raised in Jenalik, the very same kampong where the school was taken over. His father sold Apam Balik at Pekan Sabtu at Lenggong, we bought his many times with him being the sole apam balik seller. His mother organized yearly trips for Umrah. His four accomplices’ sentences has taken place few months ago, but he asked a deferment to see his mother who went for Umrah.

On the day the sentence took place, my father and pakcik matsom departed Lenggong at around 1.30 a.m. Imagine, how sayu it is, the kereta jenazah start moving when the man is still alive. He was hung ( I notice I have been avoiding to use the word hang, I pulled a sigh when I finally wrote one) right after Subuh. They told that he recited Azan and for three short seconds, the room’s light went off. The body was then taken to Hospital for verification and then my dad took him into the kereta jenazah. He was neither kapan-ed nor bathed for the family had asked to perform those themselves.

My dad was moving along the highway, three hours with him, the man who had fought for a battle he believed true, with skin around his neck melecet caused by the ropes that has taken his life.

For a split of moment, I have thrown away all the judgment. I didn’t know whether to feel sad or the feel he-deserved-so. Yes, he has taken two lives. Yes, if we want to play god, we might say that his sins have been washed away receiving such punishment and he died, clear of any. We can’t tell whether his death is syahid, neither can we telling that it’s not. It’s all His rules, His judgment, the Mighty Allah. For all I know, he must have repented for he has been given six years to do so.

And how about us? Do we have six years? Do we know?

Can’t say he is lucky to end his life that way, being given time fight for a battle he truly believed, being given time to repent. But can’t help but feeling so.

My feeling is a mixture of sad and sebak and sayu. Sometimes English doesn’t do justice to me, eh. I just can wish that if the man and his boys are still around, they’ll be jumping at the front line at this very moment at Lebanon, safeguarding the children and the women. Sad, isn’t it, to know that such valuable lives are wasted on a wrong battle.

Or was it a truly wrong one? Who am I to judge…..